[Y/n] sighed as he stepped off of the bus with the other exorcists, stretching out his back and letting out a sigh of sweet relief when he heard that oh-so-beautiful pop. After the most awkward train journey in history, the group had been collected by Shima's older brother, Kinzo, on a coach big enough to take all of them to the inn they'd be staying at while helping the Kyoto branch temple of The Myōō Dharani.
With how awkward the train journey was, [Y/n] had expected the bus ride to be, at least, a little more relaxing. But, between the others blankly ignoring Rin when he excited asked about Kyoto Tower and Kinzo's god-awful introduction on the bus that ended with him literally headbutting his microphone, [Y/n] was already rapidly losing any and all hope he had for this trip to go well. At least the current situation would be hard to ruin. Right? All they had to do was get dropped off at the inn and go help the temptaint victims. East, right?
RIGHT?!
[Y/n] slouched at the thought. Between his argument with Bon, the way the others were treating Rin, his deal with Arthur for information and everything else in between... He already knew that whatever the hell was going to happen on this trip was going to give him a migraine that lasted weeks. Letting out a sigh, he shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. As Flor happily trotted up beside him with Kuro sitting comfortably on his head, Rin walked over to join them. With a small smile and a wordless nod, the boys turned on their heels and followed the rest of the Exwire group into the inn, opting to stick close to Kamiki for simplicity's sake since she was the only one not being insufferable.
As the teens all shuffled through the front door, they were immediately stopped by the workers.
"It's Bon!" A cheerful voice called out, gaining everyone's attention as the aforementioned boy stopped dead in his tracks. [Y/n] raised a brow in confusion.
"Look!" Another one yelled happily.
"You're right! It is Bon!" Came another.
"Welcome home, Bon!" The delight continued.
"Chill out, guys!" Suguro practically screamed, the heat rising to his face as the crowd of inn workers that surrounded them grew bigger and bigger. "I'm not here to visit!" He yelled, shaking his head as he put his hands up defensively. Before any of the non-Kyoto kids could question what the hell was going on, Kinzo suddenly popped up again.
"Bon?!" He yelled, genuine surprise and confusion in his voice. "I didn't even recognise ya, man! I'm sorry! Woah, today's a special day!" He beamed, scratching the back of his head with a laugh while everyone else stayed silent. [Y/n] sweatdropped as he just stared at the two, completely blank-faced.
"He was on the bus with his the whole time and he didn't notice?" [Y/n] muttered, looking the blonde man up and down in complete and utter disbelief.
"He said his surname was Shima, are you really surprised? Stupidity is probably genetic." Kamiki replied flatly, not even slightly impressed by the display she was witnessing. Before [Y/n] could toss in another snarky comment, Kinzo cupped his hands around his mouth and turned on his heel.
"Oh, ma'am!" He called out, causing Suguro to immediately panic.
"No! Wait!" He pleaded but it was all for naut as rushed footsteps immediately echoed through the nearby hallway. Stepping forward for a better look, [Y/n] saw an unfamiliar woman run into view. She was a little shorter than Shura and wore an elegant and finely pressed pink and purple kimono with a sparkly belt.
"Ryuji..." She breathed out through heavy breaths, her hand on her chest as she stared at the boy with shocked wide eyes. Suguro immediately looked away from her awkwardly. "My boy..." She sighed, stepping forward as she raised a hand to cup his face gently before slowly sliding it up toward his hair. That's when [Y/n] put it together. She was Suguro's mother. He had to admit, he was surprised to see that the big rough and tough Suguro had a mother who looked as graceful and elegant as a flower. As he watched the way she looked at him [Y/n] couldn't stop the stab of jealousy that jolted through his chest. He wanted that. He missed that. So be looked at like that. Someone so delicate. So gentle. So loving and caring. So- "What the hell did you go and dye your hair for?! What do you think you are?! Some kind of rooster?!" She screamed, gripping his hair tight before very violently and very aggressively ripping a whole chunk of the blonde streak off of his head. [Y/n] instantly ceased his previous train of thought.
'Yep... That makes more sense...' He thought, stonefacing as he stared at the two while Rin awkwardly side-stepped behind [Y/n], as if scared of the woman.
"I-It's for motivation!" Suguro argued as he straightened himself, putting his hands on his head in a vain attempt at self-defence.
"'Motivation' my ass! Change it back now!" She ordered, her voice getting louder by the second while Shima's fit of giggles did the same. While [Y/n] and Rin shared a very concerned look, Kamiki took it upon herself to speak up.
"Should we... go?" She asked awkwardly, genuinely unsure of what the hell they should do in this situation. As soon as the question crossed her lips, Suguro's mother immediately changed her tune.
"Oh, my, where are my manners?" She asked sweetly, her entire demeanour changing with the flip of a switch. [Y/n] shuddered as watched her entire mood do a 180. The way she went from violently aggressive to calm and collective in the blink of an eye when dealing with customers... It was like looking at Mabaa with brown hair and less wrinkles... "Nice to meet you. My name is Torako. I'm so happy to finally meet my son's friends." She greeted sweetly, causing Shiemi and Rin to go wide-eyed in surprise.
"No way! You're his mom?!" Rin exclaimed, clearly not having picked up on her earlier 'my boy' comment. Tilting his head, he looked the woman up and down curiously. "I thought you'd be more..." As he trailed off in an attempt to find the right word, his ears perked to the sound of terrified muttering coming from his right. Raising a brow in concern, he turned to see [Y/n] with an expression of abject terror on his face as he stared straight at Suguro's mother.
"Monster. Witch. Wicked librarian. Evil. She-devil." He muttered with genuine panic lacing his voice as more and more connections between the way this woman and his guardian acted crossed over each other like a knitted quilt. As he practically shook on the spot, Tokaro turned to Rin with a look of concern.
"Is he alright?" She asked, sweatdropping when the boy flinched at her voice. As Rin listened to his mutterings, he suddenly put two and two together.
"I think you remind him of his own guardian..." Rin answered awkwardly, letting out a nervous chuckle as [Y/n] pulled him in front of him like a living shield.
"If she picks up an encyclopedia, so help me god I will destroy this entire inn." [Y/n] treated, sweat drastically pouring out of him as the similarities between this woman and Mabaa seemed to blend together in his head. He had just escaped that unholy abomination of a woman and he was NOT going back!
"Anyway, this here is Bon's family home." Shima suddenly spoke up, pulling everyone's attention away from their terrified classmate. [Y/n], Rin, Kamiki and Shiemi all shared a brief look of confusion at the announcement. Wasn't Suguro the heir to a temple? Why were they living in an inn?
"I thought Suguro's house was supposed to be a temple?" Rin asked the question on everyone's mind, earning a sweet chuckle from Tokaro in return.
"It was but the temple couldn't make ends meet anymore. Luckily, I inherited this inn from my family." She explained, earning a chorus of nods and mutters of understanding in response as Shura rejoined the group. Seconds later, a muffled snicker echoed through the room. Everyone turned to Kamiki at the sound.
"I just thought of something..." She began through a fit of giggles, causing [Y/n] to tilt his head curiously while Rin looked a little concerned. "Since it's always 'Bon' this and 'Bon' that, they should call him 'Bonbon'!" She joked, causing [Y/n] to immediately let out a stifled snicker.
"How about 'Bonny Rabbit'?" [Y/n] chimed back, clasping a hand over his mouth as the mental image of Suguro with a rabbit nose, ears and tail suddenly popped into his mind. He had to physically stop himself from howling with laughter.
"It suits him hopping away with his tail between his legs!" Kamiki replied, immediately causing both of them to double over, one hand clutching their abdomens while the other tried to silence their laughter.
"I CAN HEAR YOU!" Bonny Rabbit screamed, his whole face erupting in a bright red blush. Quickly trying to subdue his laughter, [Y/n] turned to see Shura handing some kind of wrapped box to Sugiro's mother.
"Thanks so much for putting us up here." She thanked with a small bow, gently placing the box in her hands. [Y/n] assumed it was some kind of payment or gratuity.
"Not at all! Whenever the Knights of the True Cross come through town, we always appreciate the business." Tokaro replied, waving off the compliment but accepting the box nevertheless.
"I have to head over to the field office to help those guys out. But I'd like to leave half of our doctors here to help treat anyone infected with a temptaint." She announced, her voice level, collected and polite. And that was the most violently unsettling thing about it.
"It's kinda creepy seeing her be professional..." Rin whispered, leaving over to [Y/n], who nodded in agreement.
"Tell me about it."
"Suguro, Miwa. Shima." Shura called out, gaining the Kyoto boys' attention. "You guys haven't seen your families in a while, so go spend some time with 'em." She offered, shrugging off their concern before any of them could voice it.
"Thanks." Shima and Miwa replied in unison. With a nod, she turned to the remainder of the group.
"Moriyama, Kamiki, Takara, [L/n] and Okumura. Tend to the wounded. And [L/n], let me know when you speak to Suguro's father about 'you-know-who'." She ordered, earning nods of understanding from the remainder of the group as they glanced around at each other. "We good?" She asked, looking around the group for any signs of refusal, which she found no trace of whatsoever. Unless you count Takara's unceasing blank face and rude puppet comments.
"Yes, ma'am." The group replied in unison. Before anyone else could continue, Suguro stepped forward.
"Wait, who the hell are you talking about?" Suguro hissed, an accusatory tone lacing his words as he looked between [Y/n] and Shura. He knew from the train ride that [Y/n] had business to discuss with his father and that it had something to do with his family, but this was the first he was heading that it had to do with one specific person.
"With the way you've been talking to me, I can happily say that it's none of your damn business." [Y/n] shot back, rolling his eyes at the sight of the glare Suguro had been sending him. With his hands balled into fists, Suguro took a threatening step forward.
"They're my temple's followers, jackass! It is my business if you're trying to start a fight with one of them!" He warned, ignoring Miwa and Shima's attempts to get him to calm down.
"I don't wanna hear shit from the guy pissing on about wanting to beat Satan. You have your enemies, I have mine." [Y/n] shot back, rolling his eyes as he thought back to their earlier argument. Had they not been arguing, [Y/n] probably would have discussed it with him, especially given Suguro's likelihood of having information related to Ritsuka. But, that ship had already unfortunately sailed.
"Please stop fighting." Rin pleaded as he grabbed [Y/n]'s arm, silently wondering if this was how [Y/n] felt every time he had to break up one of his fights. If it was, then karma was definitely out to get him.
"He started it on the train." [Y/n] muttered but stopped when he felt a soft tug on his arm. He glanced at Rin from the corner of his eye and, when he saw the pleading look in the other's eyes, he felt his whole chest tighten. 'What the hell am I doing? I get so worked up whenever the situation has anything to do with the red-eyed bastard that I...' Pulling his eyes away from Rin's, he fixed his gaze on the ground.
"Well, you're mature enough to end it now. So put a sock in it." Shura ordered, stepping between the two as she shot her cousin a look at practically screamed 'drop it'. At the sight of her glare, [Y/n] gave in and let out a sigh, taking a step back while Suguro smirked. His confident smirk was immediately wiped away when Shura whipped her head toward him. "Both of you!" She clarified, garing daggers at the other boy just as she did [Y/n]. Suguro immediately froze under her glare.
"R-Right..." Suguro replied, looking away in embarrassment. With an annoyed sigh, Kinzo took a step toward the door at the end of the room.
"Follow me, guys, I'll take you to 'em." He ordered, waving the group over as he led them toward the room where the wounded were being treated. With a sigh, [Y/n] followed along, opting to ignore the death glare he was being sent by Suguro. As they walked along behind the older Shima brother, they eventually arrived at the pseudo-infirmary where the injured were being treated. When they arrived, their eyes went wide. Rows upon rows upon rows of Exorcists were laid out, some out cold and the rest barely clinging to consciousness. The sight was near-horrific. Thankfully, no one seemed to be gravely injured. The group all took off their shoes as they stepped onto the tatami, surveying the area to gauge the best approach to the situation.
"There's so many..." Shiemi breathed out, looking around the room nervously as she tied her hair back so it couldn't hinder her when she was giving treatment.
"And there's another fifteen or so back in the guest house." Kinzo added, earning a collective gulp of nervousness from most of the group. Except for Takara. Who, like usual, stood completely silent in the back of the group with his puppet.
"Okay, everyone, here's the plan." Mr Yunokawa suddenly spoke up, gaining all of the students' attention. "They're making an herbal antidote in the kitchen so we're going to need you to hand it out. Oh, and if you see any empty IVs, replace them." He explained, crossing his arms over his chest as he spoke.
"Right." The whole group nodded as they instantly spread out, preparing to help however they could.
"Hold it!" [Y/n] stopped his his tracks and turned on his heel when he heard Mr Yunokawa call out. Turning back, he saw the teacher holding Rin by the back of his collar, much to Kuro's obvious annoyance. "Not you, Okumura." He corrected, pulling the boy back with a sharp tug. [Y/n] instantly felt his temper rising.
"O-Oh, okay..." Rin replied, nervously, looking around to see if there was something else he could do to help. "What do you want me to do?" He asked with a twinge of sadness in his voice that he tried and failed to hide. Not seeming to care about how his student was obviously upset, Yunokawa put his hand on his chin in thought, which only succeeded in pissing off [Y/n] even more.
"Let's see... What to do... What to do..." He muttered quietly, racking his brain for a mindless task to give Rin before snapping his fingers in a eureka moment. "I know, pick stuff up." He ordered vaguely, earning a look of pure bewilderment from Rin.
"Like what?" The demi-demon asked nervously, trying to hide his disappointment. With a shrug of his shoulders, Yunokawa just waved him off.
"Like trash." He replied nonchalantly and [Y/n] decided he'd had enough.
"I already don't like that guy." Flor announced telepathically, earning a silent nod from [Y/n] as he stepped forward.
"So, what about me, then?" [Y/n] asked, walking toward the two and earning a look of confusion from his teacher. "Even though I know he doesn't need one, I'm still on orders from the Paladin to act as his chaperone." [Y/n] explained, glancing from Yunokawa to Rin and back while quickly flashing Rin a small smile to reassure him that he was on his side, which the young man desperately appreciated. With a hum, Yunokawa scratched the back of his head in thought.
"Do you really need to?" The teacher asked tiredly, only succeeding in causing the irk mark on [Y/n]'s head to double in size. "I mean, you have Doctor credentials now so you'd be more useful in here." Yunokawa lazily argued, earning a look of confusion and surprise from Rin, who whipped his head toward [Y/n] with a raised brow. "Just go help the wounded and I'll keep it on the down-low. That Paladin will never find out." Yunokawa ordered, waving [Y/n] off and pointing to a group of injured over to the right-hand side of the room. [Y/n] just stared at him, blankfaced.
"Full offence, but I care more about my deal with Arthur and what he's giving me than anything you say. You're not important enough to overrule that." [Y/n] replied in a completely monotone voice, as if his teacher wasn't even worth the effort of emotion.
"Is this how you talk to all your teachers?" Yunokawa asked, sweatdropping as he just stared at the younger man who seemed completely uninterested in his feelings.
"Tell him his shades are ugly!" Flor chimed and Kuro started frantically nodding in agreement. [Y/n] almost considered it until Rin suddenly spoke up.
"Wait, since when are you a Doctor?" He asked, pulling the conversation back to Yunokawa's passing comment. [Y/n] hummed in response, realising that he forgot to mention it.
"Arthur found out that I was really good with medicinal plants and herbs from my time with Mabaa and he made me take an impromptu Exwire exam again but only for the Doctor Class. I passed with almost full marks and that just made him more annoyed." He explained, thinking back to the long string of complaints he was subjected to when the Paladin found out about him 'squandering his potential' or whatever. Rin seemed to think for a moment before nodding in understanding.
"Makes sense, you've been tutoring me and Shima this whole time and Yukio says you have some of the best grades in the class." He replied, flashing [Y/n] his signature sharp-toothed smile as he beamed at him. "So are you the only one in class now who has three Meister Classes." Rin asked excitedly and [Y/n] nodded in response.
"I think so but I won't be doing a lot of Doctor work in the field so I'll be more like a backup option if Yukio and Moriyama are busy. But, I'm sure you and the others will pick up a couple more classes soon. Especially if you keep up how smart you've been getting in our tutoring sessions." [Y/n] replied with a smile, assuring Rin that there was nothing holding him back from going for other Meister Classes himself.
"I'm still here, you know?" Yunokawa asked in an annoyed tone, reminding them of his presence.
"And?" [Y/n] replied flatly, all trace of emotion leaving his voice in an instant. The sudden shift in tone made Rin sweatdrop. it was almost scary. With an annoyed sigh, Yunokawa just gave up, waving the pair off and pointing to the door as he turned on his heel and walked away.
"Forget it, just go help him with the trash."
~*~
[Y/n] and Rin worked their way through the nearby rock garden, clearing any useless or foreign objects that didn't belong there while Flor and Kuro were comfortably curled up together, snoozing the day away in the shade. Quiet frankly, it was shitty grunt work and they'd be better off helping the others with the wounded but with how the others had been acting, the chances of that happening seemed to be less than none. [Y/n] shot Rin a quick glance out of the corner of his eye, his gaze lingering on the soft smile the other boy wore as he hummed along while he worked. [Y/n] felt his grip on his brush tighten as he thought back to how the others acted.
'Acting like demons are always the problem...' He sneered internally, his brows furrowing together in frustration. Images flashed through his mind at rapid speed. Raging orange fire. Broken wooden beams. Bright scarlet eyes. 'Humans can be so much worse...' He snapped, putting more and more weight onto the handle of his sweeping brush until he finally felt it crack in his palm. [Y/n] cursed quietly as he snapped back to reality, checking the tool for any signs of serious damage. Letting out a sigh, he shook his head, trying to put his thighs aside.
Until...
"Can... Can we talk?" Rin asked nervously, causing [Y/n] to fully turn to face him. When he did, he felt his chest tighten. Rin was staring at him with a look of genuine worry and concern, glancing quickly from the brush to [Y/n]'s face with a tight frown and a shaky lip. [Y/n] gulped at the sight.
"S-Sure, what's up?" [Y/n] replied, silently cursing himself as he tried and failed to sound calm. And, by the look on his face, Rin definitely didn't believe him.
"You've been on edge a lot more than usual since we came here." "And, that argument with Suguro on the train and the one in the lobby... You usually stop arguments instead of getting into them... Hell, you've done it a thousand times at this point with how much he and I butt heads..." He continued, clear concern taking over his face as he finally began to voice his worries. [Y/n] felt his breath hitch. He was right. And he barely even noticed he was doing it. He had been so caught up with everything going on... After what felt like an eternity of long tense silence, Rin asked that one question [Y/n] wasn't ready to hear. "Are you okay?" His tone was calm and compassionate, not a hint of pressure or judgment. His soft smile was pure and genuine and his eyes caring and empathetic. "I'm here if you need me to listen." That was what nearly sent [Y/n] over the edge. Everything Rin had been through. Everything he was still going through. And yet, he was still going out of his way to look out for him. How? How could anyone look at him and see a monster? How?! Swallowing the lump that formed in his throat, [Y/n] let out a slow, shaky breath.
"I guess it's about time I told you the full story." He agreed, fidgeting with his hands as he tried to think of how best to explain it. Explain everything. Wordlessly, Rin gently took [Y/n]'s wrist in his hand and pulled him down to sit next to him on a nearby rock, patiently and silently waiting for [Y/n] to collect his thoughts and explain what he needed to explain. Letting out a deep breath, [Y/n] slowly opened Sema's case and gently took out the weapon, holding it up to the sunlight. The gleams of silver, red and black that reflected the light from the sleek metal of the gun onto the arms it so painfully scarred. Rin followed his gaze toward [Y/n]'s damaged arms but kept his mouth shut. "I've told you before that Sema has been passed down through my family for as long as they can remember. But not everyone can use it." He began, phrasing it as less of a question and more of a nervous statement. Rin nodded nevertheless.
"Yeah, you said that some people either get really badly hurt or some even die." Rin replied, thinking back to the conversation he and [Y/n] had on the roof and their subsequent conversation after the Neuhaus incident.
"Yeah..." [Y/n] sighed, his mind flicking to the notes and books he had read throughout the years detailing his family's and Sema's extensive history. "Because Sema draws power from emotional energy, it's extremely selective of its user. Most of my family couldn't even use it." He continued, remembering the looks of disgust and envy that were bored into his skull each and every day by cousins, aunts, uncles and everyone in between. Save for his parents, the only ones who never belittled him for being selected. "In fact... I'm the first one in a few generations who can..." He announced, lowering his head in thought. To anyone else, that would be a privilege or an honour. But not to him.
"Seriously?!" Rin exclaimed in surprise, his eyes widening in a mix of shock and awe at the announcement. "Not even your parents or grandparents?!" He asked and [Y/n] shook his head.
"Not a single one." He replied sadly, letting out a deep breath as he racked his memories of his time with his family's temple. "The first sign that someone can use Sema, is if they're practically... emotionless." He admitted cautiously, sucking in a breath when Rin shot him a confused look. "Someone who can't express emotion, can't lose control of Sema. So, that's how it seems to pick its users." He continued, thinking back, once again, to those stares of jealousy and looks of disgust. And how he didn't feel anything in return. Nothing but numbness.
"But that doesn't make sense." Rin argued calmly, causing [Y/n] to hold his breath. "I mean, you've no problem expressing emotion at all." He deferred, thinking back to every tear he'd seen [Y/n] cry, every time he'd raised his voice to laugh or yell, that look of fear in the generator room he hoped he'd never see again... And that smile from the rooftop he hoped he'd see a thousand times over... "You've gotten mad at me enough times to prove that." He finished, awkwardly laughing at the end as he tried to play it off as a joke. His own attempt to make [Y/n] feel better. Even if it didn't work, the Dragoon still appreciated it.
"Not anymore..." [Y/n] quietly replied, finally pulling his gaze from his lap to slowly meet Rin's eyes. Maybe it was too early to go down this rabbit hole. But he couldn't go back now. Rin deserved to know everything. After everything he's done for him. He deserves the truth after being lied to for so long.
"Wait... What?" Rin questioned, desperately trying to make sense of whatever the hell [Y/n] was saying. What did he mean 'not anymore'? Letting out another strained sigh, [Y/n] shook his head. Maybe the best way to explain it was to explain Sema itself.
"Sema was created from the demon Akash." [Y/n] began, seemingly changing the subject, much to Rin's displeasure. Going from that conversation to casually dropping the name of Sema's demon link was making his head spin. However, he hadn't the time to voice his confusion before [Y/n] spoke again. "He was a Kin of Armumahel, The Emperor of Nothingness." He continued, causing Rin's ears to perk up at the name. Even if he wasn't the best academically, even he knew enough about The Emperors to know that they were shrouded in mystery. "And Akash was one of their strongest allies." [Y/n] added, a clear image of his father's research notes forming in his head as he could practically see the page in front of him.
"The Emperor of Nothingness?" Rin repeated, trying to link together what he knew of Armumahel from school.
"From what we know, Akash was one of Armumahel's closest subordinates. He even earned the title of The Nihility from them. Other subordinates got titles like The Ceaseless and The Emptiness." [Y/n] explained, his eyes moving once more to the sleek metal weapon on the ground in front of him, reflecting a warped perception of him on its black polished metal. "Apparently, Armumahel chose their best subordinates to represent aspects of Nothingness." He added, trying to remember more of what he read in his family's notes while comparing it to what they had learned in Cram School.
"So, what does Nihility mean?" Rin asked as he raised a brow in confusion, being unfamiliar with the word compared to 'ceaseless' and 'emptiness'.
"It's the belief that all life is meaningless and that the universe will always return to nothing." [Y/n] remarked casually, earning a look of genuine concern from Rin. That did not sound good in the slightest as far as he was concerned. Before he could retort, a bitter chuckle escaped [Y/n]'s throat. "Ironic, huh?" He laughed, earning a confused look from Rin, who wasn't sure where he was going with this. "Considering emotion comes from the feeling you have for what you think matters. Although, apparently, he was a lot like the gunners he picked..." He trailed off, leaving the rest for his friend to interpret. As he watched the gears turn in Rin's head, the seconds slowly ticked by. Until...
"Emotionless..." Rin finished, slowly beginning to put the pieces together in his head. [Y/n] couldn't stop the small smile from creeping its way onto his face when he saw Rin slowly reaching his deduction.
"For Akash to have gotten a title from The Emperor themselves, it means that Armumahel really respected him." [Y/n] explained, silently wondering who or what Akash really was. There was so little explanation anywhere in his family's notes outside of his abilities. And he was practically non-existent according to The Vatican. "When your power relies on emotions for fuel, it makes sense that your drawback would be struggling to feel emotion at all. And, yet, he still proved himself strong enough to stand for an Emperor." [Y/n] rambled, pondering the concept. It was somewhat poetic in a sense. And Rin seemed to agree as he felt his curiosity skyrocketing with every new thing he learned.
"So, how did Akash become Sema?" Rin asked, trying to understand how a demon who didn't care about anything ended up as a weapon that was powered by feelings.
"The notes say that Akash was tasked with monitoring an early settlement of humans and peaceful demons living together to see if they could really coexist. Since Akash couldn't feel emotion unless he was pushed to the very brink, his powers wouldn't make him as much of a threat." [Y/n] explained, trying to envision how a world like that would look today. A world of equals where species and circumstance didn't dictate your survival. But, it was a pipe dream. After all, humans still aren't even at peace with themselves.
"That makes sense." Rin muttered, putting his hand on his chin in thought, likely entertaining the same pipe dream as [Y/n].
"But, for some reason..." [Y/n] began, letting out a defeated sigh. "Akash lashed out and violently butchered an entire clan of humans."
"Wait, what?!" Rin exclaimed, snapping his head toward [Y/n], who just continued to stare at the sky. [Y/n] simply nodded as Rin stared at him with eyes wide as saucers.
"No one seemed to know why. At least none of my family's notes do anyway..." [Y/n] explained, trailing off as he thought of all the sleepless nights he spent trying to figure out what would drive someone like Akash to suddenly go off the deep end and risk everyone's futures. "All I know is that the story ends with my ancestors killing him and using his body to create Sema. From then on, only the people the weapon deemed worthy enough could use it." He illustrated, painting as clear a picture as possible for Rin to understand the whole timeline of events that led to Sema's creation. "But still... I don't think I'll ever understand how someone so ambivalent could lash out with so much anger. Something must have caused it..." He sighed, hanging his head in thought as he racked his brain on the matter for what felt like the millionth time.
"That's insane..." Rin breathed out, shaking his head as he tried to take in everything he had just learned. Sitting in silence together for a moment, Rin quietly spoke up. "I always thought that Sema was a girl." He admitted shyly, earning a surprised look from [Y/n]. That's what he was confused about? Noting his friend's expression, Rin's face erupted in a bright red blush as he turned away. "I know it probably sounds stupid but it's just 'cause of the name. It sounds like a girl's name." Rin explained, awkwardly staring at the ground out of embarrassment while silently cursing himself for sounding so stupid during such a serious moment. [Y/n] couldn't help but chuckle as he looked over Rin's features. Feeling his heart hammering in his chest as he did.
"It is." [Y/n] replied, watching Rin's head instantly snap back toward him as their eyes locked once more. With a small smile, he continued. "From what I've read, in some languages 'Sema' translates to 'sky' and, in some cultures, it's a rare girl's name that means 'Divine Omen'." He explained, thinking back to what he had read about certain Middle Eastern and East-Asian cultures and languages.
"Divine omen..." Rin repeated, wondering how the weapon could have ended up with such an ominous name. Although, if the butchering story was true. It definitely fit that description.
"Even I don't know why it got that name..." [Y/n] admitted, resting his hands on the stones by his side as he leaned back to face the sky, watching the clouds dance around like the thoughts in his head. "All of its abilities names are related to the sky in some way too." Sky Splitter. Star Breaker. Cloud Piercer. All names that already existed long before [Y/n] held the gun. Names whose origins were still shrouded in mystery. "My guess is that his outburst was like an omen for the future of humans and demons working together..." [Y/n] sighed, wondering if it really was that simple. He hated not knowing. So much.
"Sounds like there's still a lot we don't know..." Rin trailed off, finally putting together a clear picture of what exactly Sema even was in the first place. It was kinda like Kurikara in a sense. But, at the same time, completely different.
"And now, this whole history lesson brings us to eight years ago." [Y/n] began, immediately gaming Rin's full attention. Eight years ago... That was when the [L/n] massacre happened... Was [Y/n] about to- "When a red-eyed boy from The Myōō Dharani showed up at my family's temple." He continued, causing Rin to to wide-eyed as he slowly began to understand more and more. That's what he meant when he said the Myōō Dharani had connections to his family. And that's why he agreed to help Angel even though he clearly didn't want to. But... Red-eyed boy... Who the hell was that? Clasping his hands together nervously, [Y/n] glued his eyes shut. "I told you and Moriyama that you were the first real friends I'd ever made... That was technically true..." He forced out, pulling Rin's mind back to their conversations on the roof and outside the girl's locker room. It was true. He first said it to cheer Shiemi up and then he did it again to reassure Rin. But if they were his first 'real' friends... Then... "Because he was never really my friend..." He tried off, venom practically dripping from his words, lacing a tone that made Rin shudder.
"The boy with the red eyes?" Rin asked nervously, carefully studying [Y/n]'s expression as he realised he was getting very close to crossing what were likely [Y/n]'s more serious boundaries. And he refused to do that against the others' will. He wanted everything [Y/n] told him to be when he was ready. But, as he watched [Y/n] let out a slow, shaky breath, he realised [Y/n] already was.
"Ritsuka Akagawa." Was all he had to say, plain and simple. Two words. And Rin already knew all he had to. "He was our age, a couple of months older than me, kinda shy and got picked on a lot because his eyes were bright red. He started hanging around me because no one else wanted to be around the emotionless robot." [Y/n] explained, his brow furrowing in frustration as memories of their time together flashed through his mind. Not a single second of any of them meant a thing to that bastard. Despite [Y/n]'s reveal, Ritsuka wasn't the thing that latched to Rin's attention.
"That's the second time you've said that..." Rin started, nervously trailing off at the end. He didn't understand what [Y/n] meant by it. But he knew that he didn't like it. "What do you mean 'emotionless'?" He asked, concern lacing his voice as he tried to make sense of it. With a heavy heart and a deep breath, [Y/n] finally put his thoughts together. This is it.
"Sema's Dragoon is supposed to represent Akash's Nihility. Someone who views life without emotion in the way. To stop the weapon from going berserk when it's used." He began, balling his hands into fists as he thought back to it. All his time before Mabaa took him away from it all. Before Ritsuka took it all away from him. That endless feeling of nothingness. "It's a weird phenomenon and we weren't even really sure how it happened but the people in my family who were able to use Sema were all born pretty much emotionless..." He continued, pausing between breaths as he tried to say it the right way. And Rin waited. And he listened intently to every single word. "I was too... Most of my childhood I was just... There... Staring blankly with a monotone voice..." He lamented, hating every second he remembered of that unfeeling husk of a person he used to be. Whatever curse or affliction Sema put on him that made him have to learn to feel what others did. He never wanted to go back. "Until Ritsuka took everything from me." He finished bitterly, cursing the very thought of that red-eyed scumbag.
"So he was the one who..." Rin trailed off, his breath catching in his throat as his mind flashed with an image of his dad. The man who gave his life to protect him. The feeling deep in his heart he now has. That unending desire to destroy Satan. To destroy the one who took everything from him. He understood [Y/n]'s pain more than anyone else. And, in turn, [Y/n] understood him.
"Yeah." [Y/n] replied, not even looking up from his lap. "I can still remember it... Seeing everyone die around me... Hearing their screams... Seeing that sick, twisted smile on his face the whole time..." [Y/n] breathed out through sharky breaths, the knuckles of his hands paling as he gripped them tight in his lap. All those memories. Everything he wishes he could forget. "I'm pretty sure that was the first time I was actually able to feel anything..." He admitted sadly, forcing the tears that threatened to escape to push themselves back. Rin felt his heart shatter.
"[Y/n]..." He forced out, completely unsure of what to possibly say to someone in this situation. He wanted so badly to help. But he didn't know how. Seeing [Y/n] so distraught... It hurt him so much... He never wanted to see him like this... He didn't deserve it...
"I'm still not entirely sure how I made it out of there that night... It's all still such a blur..." [Y/n] admitted, shaking his head slightly as a dry, bitter chuckle passed his lips. "But, ever since then, I've been with Mabaa. And that damn witch made it very clear she wouldn't let me act like a robot, practically forced me to feel by hounding me about this or that or sitting me down and explaining how things are supposed to make me feel..." He smiled softly at the memory. Sure, the old hag was a bitch and a half to deal with, but he wouldn't change her for anything. No matter how much he complained. "It took a long time... But I worked really hard... And I think I kinda got the hang of it..." He finished, smiling softly as he thought of how far he'd come. From the little freak who could barely crack a smile to the young man who bellowed with laughter every time Rin did something stupid.
"So, that's why you're so on edge? Because this is where that bastard is from?" He asked softly, trying to approach the situation as calmly as possible. [Y/n] simply nodded in response.
"Suguro's family ran the temple so his father should still have records of everyone who used to worship here." He explained, his hand absentmindedly moving to caress the letter in his pocket, his fingers gently dancing over the wax seal. "I need whatever information they have on him... I still don't know why he did it or why he looked so damn happy while he was doing it... I don't know if I'll like what I find but I deserve some kind of answer." He declared, his brows itching together as a look of determination flashed in his [e/c] eyes. No matter what... Whatever it takes...
"How can I help?" Rin asked, his tone dead serious as he locked eyes with [Y/n]. He didn't care what it took. He'd help [Y/n] the same way he knew [Y/n] would help him. No matter what. "I'm serious, tell me what you need and I'll do it." He assured, nodding confidently as he made his vow. [Y/n] just stared at him, gazing deep into those azure eyes. Those bright blue eyes that raged like an inferno and gleamed like the sky. Those eyes... that made him realise so much... Those eyes... that have been hurt so many times... With a heavy sigh and a soft smile, [Y/n] shook his head.
"Just keep being yourself." [Y/n] replied softly, chuckling lightly when he saw the look of pure bewilderment take over Rin's previously serious face. It was moments like that... That always made him realise... Exactly why he... "It sounds silly but... Everything you've done for me..." He sighed, his smile growing with every single memory they shared together. Every single one of them made his heart feel fo full. "You've made me feel a lot of things I didn't think were possible when I was younger..." Rin's mouth hung agape as he listened, his gaze transfixed as he stared at the boy in front of him. [Y/n] just let the sad smile take over. It was true. And he knew it. Even if he wanted to deny it, he knew he couldn't. Merely 'liking' Rin had come and gone. This... What he felt now... This was something real... Something serious... And something that had to wait. For both their sakes. "So, just keep being you, and that's all the support and more I'll need." He offered Rin a closed-eye smile as she other snapped out of his trance.
"But-"
"I mean it, Rin." [Y/n] cut him off softly, shaking his head as he locked eyes with the boy in front of him. He still wasn't ready to admit to Rin how he truly felt, he deserved time. With everything that had happened in such a short time... It wouldn't be good for him. Even if he loved him back, even if Rin felt the same... Love can't fix everything... And it can't heal what it can't control... Rin needed time. And [Y/n] was willing to wait. "You already put everyone's problems on your shoulders and help them no matter what. even after how the others have treated you, you keep going out of your way for their sake. And you blame yourself for things that are completely out of your control." He continued, gently forcing Rin to put everything that had happened into perspective. It had happened so fast and so hard. And he hadn't taken the time to properly deal with it yet. He was so incredible. So caring. But... "But you need a break."
"I-I-..." Rin tried to form words but couldn't. He just stared ahead, his focus locked onto the boy in front of him.
What [Y/n] would give to ease his troubles, to take away all of his dread and insecurities. His friends had scorned and rejected him for his heritage. His brother hypocritically berated him for his existence. And, despite all that... He still smiled... That precious smile that could light up an entire room, eyes crinkled and sharp teeth showing.
"When was the last time anyone has done that for you?" [Y/n] asked sadly, shaking his head as Rin flinched, clearly unprepared for that specific question. "You're an incredible person, Rin." [Y/n] declared, watching the other's face contort into a look of pure shock. And it broke his heart that it took him by surprise. "I really do wish you could see how wonderful you are through my eyes." He beamed, flashing Rin the brightest smile he could muster as the other male just looked back in disbelief as if he was hearing everything that was being said but couldn't believe a word of it. But, no matter what, [Y/n] meant it. And he'd say it as many times as the other boy needed. The boy who made him feel so vastly. The boy who made him smile no matter what. The boy who had a heart of fire and gold in equal parts. The boy he... The boy he... "I won't take advanta-"
"You." Rin cut him off, instantly getting to his feet.
"Wha-"
"You, [Y/n]!" He yelled, causing [Y/n] to flinch. Instantly, he began to panic, assuming that he had crossed a line, pushed too far, said too much. Quickly getting to his feet as well, he prepared to apologise for what he had said. But, when he looked up to Rin's face, he saw tears streaming down his cheeks, and a look in his eyes that perfectly blended happiness and longing. And he froze. "You listen to me. You help me. You stood by me even after all the shit that's happened." Rin rambled, coughing out a small, quiet sob as he pressed his palms over his eyes and rubbed away the tears that threatened to continue falling. "You see me!" He yelled, grabbing [Y/n] by both shoulders as he forced the other to meet his eyes despite how shellshocked he was. "So don't you ever dare say that you're taking advantage of me when you've been the one helping me since the day we met." He ordered, shaking his head as a sweet smile pulled its way over his tear-stained cheeks. As he started at the boy before him who looked shocked beyond measure, he felt his heart hammer in his chest again. The boy who made him realise so much. The boy who made him so happy. The boy who stood by him despite everything. The boy he... The boy he...
'The boy I love!'
As they thought it together in unison, they both knew it wasn't time. Even if the other didn't feel the same, they needed to focus on what was most important to them at that moment.
As the reality of what was happening sunk in, [Y/n] let out a bitter chuckle, raising a hand to wipe the tears that had started spilling from his own eyes.
"Sorry..."
"Don't apologise!" Rin yelled, waving his hands around as he accidentally hit [Y/n] upside the head. Instantly, they both froze. And the whole area went silent. A pin drop could be heard as [Y/n] hand gently made its way up to his temple before resting where Rin had struck. Until...
"That hurt, jackass! I thought we were having a moment!" [Y/n] yelled, offended tears in his eyes as he held the back of his head.
"We still are!" Rin tried to argue, apologising for the accident but making it clear that it was, in fact, an accident.
"Like hell we are!" [Y/n] snapped back as the pair fell into silence, staring at each other and forgetting the entire world around them. As seconds ticked on, both of them just continued to lock eyes, until they both burst out laughing. Bellowing laughter. Contagious joy. Gripping abdomens and stifling chuckles. It was music to his ears. All of it meant so much to him. The beauty in that oh-so-wonderful sound. As [Y/n]'s eyes filled with happy tears, he gazed one last time at Rin's joyous form, taking in every single one of his features as he felt the smile on his face grow and grow.
If nihility was Akash's legacy, it wouldn't be [Y/n]'s. He had things left he wished to protect. He had people that gave existence meaning. He had reason to smile and love. Perhaps, one day, he'd know the truth of Akash's downfall. But, for now, he swore he'd never view the lives of those he loved in any sense of pointless. And all the proof he needed... Was the beaming smile on the beautiful boy in front of him...
Thank you, Rin Okumura
Thank you for being you
Thank you so much