Warmth
-the quality, state, or sensation of being warm; moderate and comfortable heat.
MANOBAN, LISA
"Are you sure this is okay? " Jennie asked for the 17th time now
I am settled down on the floor, feeling a bit awkward but also strangely content being in the same room as Jennie.
I steal glances at her on the bed, my heart fluttering with a mix of emotions. There's a sense of comfort in our closeness, even though we're not physically close.
I can't help but smile, cherishing these moments where I can be near her, even if it's just in the same room. It's a bittersweet feeling, a delicate balance between happiness and a hint of longing for something more.
The soft glow of the room's lights casts a warm ambiance, adding to the comfort I feel despite the makeshift sleeping arrangements. As I look around, I can't help but smile at the familiarity of Jennie's space, the posters on the walls, and the neatly arranged desk.
Even though I have to sleep on the floor, it's a small price to pay for the closeness I feel to Jennie. Her generosity in allowing me to stay here, even with the inconvenience, speaks volumes about our relationship. It's moments like these that make me appreciate her even more.
I take a deep breath, letting the sense of contentment wash over me. Being close to Jennie like this, in the quiet of her room, strengthens the bond between us.
"Yeah, don't mind me. I'll be really quiet, you won't even notice I'm here" I told her with a sigh.
"Lisa.." Jennie called for me and then I heard her calm breathing.
I find solace in the rhythmic sound of Jennie's breathing coming from the bed.
Each inhale and exhale creates a soothing melody that envelops me in a cocoon of comfort. It's a steady, reassuring rhythm that lulls me into a state of calmness and relaxation.
The sound of Jennie's breathing is like a gentle symphony, reminding me that I'm not alone in this room. It's a comforting presence, a tangible reminder that she's there and nowhere else.
In this quiet moment, as I listen to the familiar pattern of her breaths, I feel a sense of peace wash over me.
Her simple act of breathing becomes a source of comfort and reassurance
"Hmm? " I looked straight to the ceiling, finding her room so peaceful and comforting
"Are you scared?" Her voice a little concerned. I shrugged
"Of what? " I grip on the blanket tight which Jennie lend to me. It smelled like vanilla, smelled like her.. It comforts me. Probably will become my favorite scent.
"Of facing the past? Knowing the truth? " she faced me this time.. Looking into my eyes. Despite our distance, she felt so close.. I wish I could held her closer..
"To be honest.. I'm scared, I know you are scared too. But--" I sit up, moved a little closer so I could be closer to her.. So I could feel her more..
"Can I please touch you" I said. I begged. I might die if I didn't get to hold her right now. I need to touch her, but I need her permission first..
Jennie didn't answer me instead, she held my hand and guide it to her face and there I closed my eyes and caressed her cheeks.
My hand trembled lightly, my fingers brushed on her soft cheeks tracing a delicate path as I look into her eyes with a mixture of affection and longing.
"I'm scared, very scared of this. But let's face this love together. " I felt her hands tightened on mine as if she didn't want me to let go..
"Because I only want to feel love with you" she squeezed me again and my heart melted.. I don't recognize her still but I know her.. I know for sure that she's my missing piece.
I love her, I'm in love with her without knowing who she was before
"What am I suppose to do if there's no you" she mumbled
A powerful longing surged within me, urging me to lean in and capture Jennie's lips with mine.
The intensity of my emotions took me by surprise, but I couldn't deny the attraction and affection I felt for her.
With trembling anticipation, I closed the distance between us, my heart racing as my lips met in a soft, tender kiss that spoke volumes of unspoken feelings.
I kissed her forehead.
Too soon to kiss her lips.
She makes me want to give all the love that I have been keeping since I was a kid.
"Goodnight Jennie" I said before finally giving her a space.
I laid back down on the ground and closed my eyes.. Without actually thinking of anything.. I fell asleep.
____________
few weeks later..
As I look back on the past few weeks with Jennie, I can't help but feel amazed at how close we've become. Our bond has grown stronger with each passing day, filled with laughter, shared secrets, and moments of deep connection.
It's like we've known each other for much longer than we actually have. I cherish every moment spent with her, grateful for the beautiful relationship we've built.
Despite not remembering our past life together, I find myself inexplicably drawn to Jennie, feeling my heart flutter with every smile she shares and every moment we spend together.
It's as if my soul recognizes hers, even if my memories are still blank. The way she makes me laugh, the comfort I feel in her presence it's all so overwhelming yet undeniably real. I can't help but acknowledge that I'm falling in love with her, even if I can't explain why.
It started with a sense of familiarity, like there's something about her that I've known before, even though I can't remember our past life together. I find myself drawn to her laughter, her kindness, and the way she lights up a room with her presence.
Every moment we share brings me closer to her. I catch myself thinking about her when we're apart, wondering what she's doing and wanting to be by her side. There's a warmth in my heart whenever I'm with her, a feeling of happiness and comfort that I can't explain.
I begin to realize that what I feel for Jennie goes beyond friendship. It's a deepening affection that makes my heart race when she smiles at me or reaches out to touch my hand. I find myself falling for her, falling in love with the way she makes me feel special, valued, and truly seen.
Even though I can't remember our past, I know that my feelings for Jennie are real and genuine. She's become more than just a friend; she's someone I can't imagine my life without, someone I want to be with always.
"Lili! Hey!" Jennie excitedly squealed as she came running to me. I smiled watching her run with her prettiest gummy smile, completely lighting up my mood
"Hi Nini" I greeted and before I knew it, Jennie came flying towards me, completely throwing herself to me, giving me the most comfortable bear hug..
Since that night of sleeping in Jennie's room, physical touch has become a normal part of our relationship. We often hug, playfully poke each other, and sometimes link arms when we walk together.
We haven't tried holding each others hand yet these simple gestures make me feel close to Jennie and show how much our bond has grown. It's a natural and comforting aspect of our relationship that I cherish.
"I miss you" she mumbled on my neck and I smiled genuinely while caressing her back which she loves the most
"but we met like 2 hours ago" I chuckled at her and she stumped her feet as if she was upset
"That's too long you know" she rolled her eyes..
"Alright, I miss you too you Mandu" I kissed her forehead and there goes her smile again..
"And they kept saying that they're not dating. See that folks?" Jisoo commented with Rose and Seulgi behind her..
"They totally are! Look at those heart eyes from Jennie! " Rose glared at us and I just chuckled at them.. They've been bugging us for weeks now
"And the fact that they sleep at each other's dorm is very sus to me" Seulgi chimed in with a suspicious look..
I actually don't know what my relationship with Jennie right now.. We hug, kiss(forehead and cheeks only) , we sleep at each other's dorm room, we cuddle, we go on lunch or dinner dates yet it's still not clear to me.. I'm not really sure what are we.
I didn't ask her questions because I'm afraid that it will stop. Everything that's happening with Jennie right now is so good that I don't want it to stop anymore..
I'm happy with this kind of set up for now.. Atleast I get to be with her..
"Don't mind them Lili, they're just jealous" Jennie whispered to me that made me giggle.
I got used to her calling me Lili because she said that we made that nickname for each other.. Calling her Nini is nice too because I get to see her blush everytime that I do.. It also comes naturally from my mouth..
"Anyways everyone! What's the plan for today?" Jennie asked. Campus is closed for the rest of the afternoon because of some event that's why all of us are free which means hanging out..
"I was thinking we could try that new karaoke place downtown Nini" I smiled at them but everyone doesn't really look thrilled
"Oh no, not karaoke again! Last time, we almost shattered the windows with our singing" Jisoo grimaced which made Rose laugh.
Rose laughs without a sound, that's what's so funny about it so we end up laughing because of her soundproof laugh.
"Yeah, remember when Seulgi tried hitting those high notes but failed and ended up cracking the song" Rose added which made it more funny..
We were walking in the campus hallway on the way to the exit. Jennie is clinging hard on my arms as we both laugh because of our friends.
Days like this is what I cherish. It's just too pure for me. I wish it to be always like this.
"Hey, I thought I sounded pretty good!" Seulgi defended herself
"Maybe we should spare the city from our vocal talents this time." Jennie suggested and everyone agreed.
"Fine, how about a movie night instead? We can watch something cheesy and order tons of snacks in my dorm" I suggested and this time they all seem to like the idea
"Sounds good to me. As long as we don't end up watching a horror movie again. I couldn't sleep for a week after that Conjuring movie " Jisoo said and I agreed immediately
"Agreed. Let's stick to rom-coms this time." Rose suggested. Of course she would suggest a rom-com. Those are the only kind of movies she loves to watch.
"And no more jumping into each other's arms during scary scenes, okay? Especially you two! While all of us here are scared, you two are cuddling" Seulgi glared at me and Jennie. We can't help it actually
"Deal! Rom-com marathon it is. But no judging if I cry during the sappy parts." Jennie said and Rose high Fived with her. I swear this two is really something. They've gotten so close in short amount of time..
"We promise not to laugh... too much." I teased them and I felt a hand pinching my side
"Ouch! Nini I was just kidding!" I pouted at her and then she rolled her eyes at me
"Alright, stop it love birds! let's get this movie marathon started!" Jisoo stated and we all agreed
"Uhm guys.. Can I uhm.. Invite my girlfriend? " Seulgi said.. What?
"Sure! You can invite your gir-- your what?!" Rose looked at her with glaring eyes
"Irene, my girlfriend hehe" she smiled innocently
"Irene?!?! " Jennie and Rose exclaimed
"Oh we have a lot to talk about " I mumbled while laughing at them..
___________
In my dorm room, the atmosphere was lively with soft music playing in the background. We were gathered around, chatting and enjoying each other's company when the topic of Seulgi and Irene's relationship came up unexpectedly.
They were suppose to be with us right now, watching a movie but they both sneak out into us. Seulgi texted the groupchat and said that they will go on a date instead because they both want some alone time.
I'm a little pissed but more on jealous, I want to spend an alone time with Jennie too
"Hey, guys, have you ever wondered how Seulgi and Irene started dating?" I started as I sit comfortably on my bed, resting my back on the headboard.
"Yeah, I've always been curious about that too. They seem so in love." Jennie replied when she came out from my bathroom.
She walked towards my bed and settled in front of me. She sat between my legs and rested her back on my chest which made me blush a little. This thing between my legs better behave or else..
"Funny you ask that. I just found out something surprising about them." Jisoo smirked at us. It's not even surprising anymore. Jisoo knows every gossip around the campus..
"What is it?" Rose asked with excitement and Jisoo smiled loving the attention that she's getting from Rose.. I swear there's something between these two.
"Well, it turns out Seulgi and Irene have been secretly dating for a while now, maybe 2 weeks or more who knows? " Jisoo shrugged and everyone facepalmed including me. I thought they just started..
"Really?" Jennie leaned forward to look at Jisoo who was on the floor just so she could be closer to the table where all the snacks are placed. Rose is sitting beside her who's already eating by the way
"Yes, apparently they wanted to keep it low-key for a bit." Jisoo said, I'm not even sure how she's getting this information but I just know that it's true.
"No wonder they always seemed so close. I mean I know Seulgi likes Irene but I didn't expect them to be dating that fast" I chuckled
"That's so sweet though. I wonder how did they manage to hide it?" Jennie said before leaning back down to me which made me held my breath. She's getting so close.. Dangerously close.. I'm about to die
"They were really good at keeping their affection subtle in public, but behind the scenes, they were all lovey-dovey." Jisoo stated. Again, how does she know any of this??
"I wonder how they started dating in the first place." Rose commented before putting a bunch of cheese nachos inside her mouth with her other hand holding a fried chicken
"Well, rumor has it that Seulgi confessed her feelings to Irene in a really romantic way. I'm not sure how or when though" Jisoo said before taking away the chicken that Rose was holding then eating it immediately which made the chipmunk smack her head
"I love hearing about secret romances." I stated while laughing at these two dorks in front of us whose bickering because of chicken.
"It just goes to show you never know what's happening in someone else's love life Lili" Jennie said chuckling before she caressed my cheeks without looking back..
I smiled, I like being treated like this by her.. I love everything she does to me.
"Yeah, Seulgi and Irene must have had their reasons for keeping it private." Rose said before finally letting Jisoo had the last piece of chicken.
"Definitely. But now that we know, it's nice to see them openly happy together." Jisoo happily bit the chicken leg
The room buzzed with excitement as we discussed the unexpected revelation about Seulgi and Irene's hidden romance, adding a touch of intrigue and admiration to our friendship circle.
------
The soft glow of fairy lights cast a warm ambiance. Jennie and I are cuddling comfortably in my bed with the same position as before.. Her in front of me.
"I've been looking forward to this movie for ages!" I said with excitement.
I get to choose the movie and I chose 50 first dates. Jisoo and Rose are cuddling too but they were on the floor sharing a blanket..
"Me too! It's such a classic." Jisoo exclaimed excitedly as she scooch closer to Rose.. That's what I'm talking about, I'm pretty sure that this two will start dating soon too.
"I've heard it's both funny and heartwarming." Rose nodded to Jisoo
"Alright, let's dive in!" Jennie said before grabbing my hands and played with my fingers with her eyes focused on the television..
How am I suppose to watch a movie when all I want is to watch her instead? I must be insane..
As the movie unfolded, I found myself completely engrossed in the story of Henry and Lucy, a unique and touching tale of love.
"Lucy forgetting everything each day is both hilarious and heart-wrenching." I commented.. Somehow I find myself drawn to Lucy's character..
"But Henry's dedication to winning her over every single day is so admirable." Jisoo said and I agreed with a nod.
"It's like a perpetual journey of falling in love anew every morning." Rose said dreamily with a plastered smile on her face.
"Imagine living each day as a fresh start, no baggage from yesterday." Jennie chuckled
We shared laughs at the comedic moments and exchanged knowing looks during the heartfelt scenes, fully immersed in the rollercoaster of emotions the movie took us on.
"The way Henry makes Lucy fall in love with him every day is so touching." I said feeling so emotional about it..
"And Lucy's resilience despite her memory loss is inspiring." Jisoo said with tears from her eyes..
"It's a testament to the power of love, overcoming even the greatest challenges." Rose said, sobbing.. I swear these dorks
"They really show that love can conquer anything, even the limitations of memory."
Jennie squeezed my hand
As the movie reached its poignant conclusion, tears welled up in my eyes, moved by the unwavering devotion portrayed on screen.
"That ending is both heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time." I said with teary eyes
"It's a beautiful reminder that love is about cherishing each moment, no matter how fleeting." Jisoo said as if she was lecturing us. I rolled my eyes
"And that true love is about embracing imperfections and making every day count." Rose being a whipped though agreed with Jisoo and they both smile in victory
"Would you love me even if you can't remember me? " Jennie suddenly whispered.. I don't know if this is about the movie or about us anymore.. I'm not sure what to say
"I honestly don't remember who you are, but I feel comfortable around you. And despite my lack of memories, I still did. I fell in love with you. And even if I lost my memories again, I would surely, without a doubt, will love you still" I told her.. Pouring honesty with my words..
Jennie was left speechless.. She couldn't comprehend her words.. I don't know what's running inside that head of hers..
"Guys! We'll leave now! I can't sleep on the floor and Lisa's bed is too full! " Jisoo stood up and glared at me
"Yeah me too! " Rose said while yawning..
Soon enough, They left leaving me here with Jennie alone.
Jennie gave me some space and is currently sitting across me on the bed with an unreadable face..
"A dollar for your thoughts" I joked to break the ice but she stayed still..
"Nini, what's wrong?" I asked softly, hoping for a response that would ease the tension between us. But Jennie remained silent, her eyes reflecting a mix of emotions that I couldn't quite decipher. I reached out, gently touching her hand, silently pleading for her to open up.
I caressed her hands using my thumb and that's when she decided to talk to me..
"Lisa.. " she started
"Hmm? "
"You love me? " Jennie's question hung in the air, heavy with unspoken emotions.
"Do you... love me?" she asked again, her voice barely above a whisper. My heart skipped a beat as I froze, unsure of how to respond. The intensity of her gaze made it hard to look away, and I struggled to find the words to answer such a complex question.
I chuckled at her..
"I thought you knew, you silly" I caressed her cheeks
"What? " she frowned at me which I find so cute
"It wasn't really love at first.. I didn't know what I feel towards you but I had this question inside my head. What am I suppose to do if there's no you? " I sat on the bed properly and looked at her with a genuine smile.. She was listening intently and so I continued.
"To answer my own question, I conclude that, no, I can't live in a world where you don't exist. I can't live if there's no you and I. "
Jennie's eyes widened in shock, her cheeks flushing with a rosy hue as my confession hung between us. The air felt charged with tension, and I could see the whirlwind of emotions flickering across her face.
Her surprise melted into a soft smile, and I felt a rush of relief wash over me as she took a deep breath, seemingly processing my words.
"When you came into my life, it all began to lighten up. The weight on my shoulders were no longer heavy because you carried it with me when no one else did.
I didn't have to skip a meal because no matter how stubborn I became, in the end you still make me eat. You know how to get me, you know my favorites, you know those simple things to make me happy.
Because of you, I learned to love life a little more than yesterday. So what am I suppose to do without you? I feel myself tearing up just by the thought of losing you, I never want it to happen.
I can't imagine my life without you and that's when I knew that I have fallen in love with you, Jennie Kim, so fucking hard. "
"I never thought I would fall for someone like you," I stated as a matter of fact "But here I am, feeling like I'm losing you when I've barely had the chance to hold you close."
"Lisa.. " Jennie was left speechless.. I was kind of expecting her to run away because of my sudden confession but she stayed
"I know I can't still remember our old days.. I still don't know who you really are in my life but I love you right now.. I don't care about the past anymore. I love you in this lifetime, I love you right now. That's what's important to me" I moved closer to hold her hand but she rejected me and I was about to get hurt but she suddenly pulled me into a hug.
I love the way she hugs me, I whispered to my thoughts, a soft smile gracing my lips. It's like everything else fades away, and all that matters is the warmth of our embrace.
The way Jennie held me with such tenderness and understanding made my heart swell with affection.
"I will never look at life the same way if I ever loses you" I whispered into her skin and she held my face to look at her.
"You won't. Y-You won't lose me.. I'm here.. I'm healthy. You won't lose me anymore Lili" she caressed my cheeks.. I didn't really know what she meant but I know I won't lose her and so I nodded my head and rested my head on hers..
Her tears streamed down her cheeks and so I leaned forward to kiss them away. I felt her breath hitch as she close her eyes and I smiled before kissing her forehead..
In that moment I thought..
If we didn't succeed in our past life then I'll make sure that this time we will..
And I will do anything to make it work because I won't lose her for another lifetime.
_______________
How's the story so far?...
PLEASE VOTE! THANK YOU!