"What the fuck Devin!" Lando yells. I'd been so out of it last night after my call with my dad that I'd forgotten all about Lando and just headed back to my room in our suite. He must've gone out partying because he didn't bug me last night but I'd just walked out of my room and his pissed-off yelling was my good morning. "Where were you last night? My shoulder is completely locked up this morning, I can't even lift my damn arm!"
Lando stood across from my bedroom door, only a few steps in front of me. He was dressed for travel in baggy sweats and a matching quadrant hoodie. His curly hair was a mess on top of his head and his suitcases stood packed behind him at the door. Because of where he was standing I didn't have an easy exit. I suppose after leaving him high and dry last night I should've expected confrontation this morning.
My eyes felt tight, I knew they were puffy. Lando obviously didn't notice or did and didn't care. "I gave you movements to do Lando. I told you I'm not magic. You have to help yourself that's what physiotherapy is." My words were partial truth. I should've massaged out the muscles in his shoulder last night, made sure everything was still sitting correctly and ensured nothing had torn itself during the race. But I didn't tell Lando that it would just be opening myself up to more insults.
He scoffed. "What were you even doing anyway? It's not like you have a life."
I stand my ground and cross my arms in front of me. My hoodie bunches up around my arms. "What I do with my free time is none of your business anymore Lando."
"Yeah, you made sure of that. Tell me Devin, what was it about me that made you hate me so much?"
"I don't hate you, Lando."
He fakes a laugh. "Now that's a load of bullshit. You left."
"I never left because of you."
"Really," he says sarcastically. "Then what was it huh? Are you just so sex crazed that the thought of me not being around every day to fuck you was so horrible?" He laughed dryly. "Or did you leave because you're so insecure with yourself that you couldn't bear to be around me?"
"Oh because you're so confident?"
Lando steps closer to me. "At least I know what I want."
I narrowed my eyes at him. "Are you sure Lando? Because it seems all you want to do is insult me and blame me because you can't stand the idea that you might've done something to push me away. Maybe it was your fault I left. Did you ever think of that?"
His eyes darkened, and not in a sensual way. Lando was angry, serious and hurt. A deadly combination. "I never did anything but love you, Devin." His voice was so cold it sent shivers down my spine. "You were just too scared to let me anywhere near you. And the minute I told you I wanted you, you fucked me to make me forget. And then you walked out like the coward you are."
I shoved Lando away from me, making sure to avoid his shoulder. He didn't budge so I shoved him again, this time pushing off his shoulders. He winced and I took the opportunity to sidestep him and grab my suitcase. I quickly moved to the exit of the hotel room. Spinning to look back at him I meet his green eyes.
"Like me or hate me, Lando Norris you're stuck with me."
He recovers from the slight pain I caused his shoulder and stares into me. "Just like you didn't want."
***
Charles is standing outside of the plane at the bottom of the stairs wearing a big white hoodie and grey sweatpants. He was waiting for me. Alex flew back to Monaco for work this morning and was going to miss Saudi so Charles offered me to fly with him to the new city. Of course, I accepted. One of Ferrari's team sponsors was a private jet company. I was not about to turn down a reclining seat and legroom.
"Hey, Dev." Charles greets speaking English rather than our usual French. I go with it.
I smile at him but don't entirely look up. I know my eyes are still puffy from last night and he'll see right through me. "Is there food in there?" I point to the plane.
"Yes, I know you like your flight snacks. Skittles, peanut butter cups and chips. I also asked Pam if she could make you lunch, so it's in there too." Pam was Charles' cook. Or, the team cook. I wasn't too sure what her actual title was but Charles almost never cooked for himself. And who could blame him, Pam was like a food magician.
"You're my favourite brother." I cooed.
"I'm texting Lorenzo and Arthur right now." He pulls out his phone and I laugh, climbing the stairs into the plane, but not before handing my suitcase to the man loading the bags underneath the plane.
I walk into the plane and am greeted with two small couches and four flight chairs which frankly look like couches in themselves. I expected the plane to be full of other people, but it was empty. Granted, I am pretty early. I was so desperate to get out of Lando and I's hotel room I arrived at the airport almost an hour before I had planned to.
I hear Charles enter the plane behind me. "So Max, Pierre, Kika and Carlos are joining us. They should be here soon."
"Doesn't Max have his own plane?" I question.
Charles nods. "Yeah but it's still in the Netherlands, weather prevented it from taking off this morning."
"Oh, that sucks." I brush off and walk over to one of the single couch-like seats. This one has a window beside it which I am happy to claim for the duration of the flight. I put my bag on the chair and turn towards Charles. He's looking at me as if he's assessing me. I look away. "You never told me about your race yesterday. How did it go?"
"It was fine," Charles says flatly, he's still scanning me with his eyes and I shuffle on my feet.
"Good, that's good."
"What's wrong Devin," he asks point-blank.
I pause, not knowing what part of my messed up life to tell him about or if to tell him anything at all. In the course of a week my life had been subjected to chaos I didn't think I knew how to handle anymore. Last night the first thing I'd wanted to do after hanging up the call with my dad was tell Charles that he was being released. But later I thought better of it. If this weekend was any proof Charles was in a real fight this year in the championship. If my issues messed with his head enough to mess up his chances this year, however small, I would never forgive myself.
"Nothing's wrong Char, I'm just tired, it's just been harder to settle into a work routine this year than I thought. I'm severely sleep-deprived." At least the sleep-deprived part wasn't a lie. I barely slept at all last night. And all the sleep I did get was on the floor of the bathroom beside the toilet. Come to think of it, I hadn't slept much at all this entire first race weekend.
"You're eyes are puffed up like you've been crying." He said flatly.
"It's just tiredness Charles, don't worry about me."
He looked skeptical but dropped the topic as Pierre's voice filled the plane. "Hello, hello, hello! He greeted cheerily. Kika trailed behind him, an equally large smile on her face. If any two people were meant for each other it was Kika and Pierre.
"Dev! There you are." Kika gushed. "I kept looking for you this weekend but I never found you. I have to talk to you and I need to hear how everything went with Lando."
"Yeah, I guess I was pretty busy, sorry Ki."
She brushed her hand in the air waving off my apology and put her bag on the seat facing me on the plane. "Don't apologize, you were working. But if you do want to apologize, you could tell me everything that happened to you this weekend." she wiggles her brows and I can't help but laugh.
I watched as moments later Carlos and Max entered the plane. The two past teammates giggled like schoolgirls and Charles greeted them both with a fancy handshake. "Okay sure," I turn back to Kika. "But only because I need my fill of your gossip too. I am severely lacking female friends and conversations in my life."
"I thought I was your favourite?" Charles jokes, there is something in his voice that is still tense but nobody seems to catch it but me.
"I like you because you brought me food."
Carlos perks up from the couch. "There's food?"
Charles shakes his head jokingly at his teammate. "Sorry Mate, it's just for Dev." Carlos fakes being offended.
Everyone makes small talk and I catch up with Max whom I haven't seen since partway through the winter break. By the time the plane takes off, it seems the activities and racing of this week finally hit the drivers and all of them are passed out on the couches and chairs around Kika and I within an hour. Carlos snores and Charles pulls his hoodie over his head, sinching it in. Max is draped in an awkward position on one of the chairs and I have no idea how he is comfortable. Nonetheless, Kika and I remain the only ones awake.
"So, tell me about Lando, how are things going?" Kika whispers.
I sigh, leaning my head back onto my chair. "Well, he's an ass, which I thought he would be. He loves calling me a slut, telling me that I'm a liar, a flight risk, insecure, a bitch. You get the point." I grumble and rub my swollen eyes.
Kika ghasps. "Fucking prick."
"The worst part is that sometimes I get glances of who he was during COVID. I mean, he called his team, found out I was without a guaranteed hotel room for the year and offered me to stay in his room for the rest of the season."
"Shit" Kika's eyebrows were in her hairline. "He seems to be changing his mind about you fast."
I groan. "Tell me about it, I can't keep up."
"At least you have Charles to go to, and me when I'm at the races."
I smile. "Thanks, Ki, and yeah I guess it's nice to have Charles around. Arthur and Lorenzo will be in Australia as well. I have things to look forward to, I can't let myself focus on all the bad stuff. I'll go insane."
Kika nods. "You're smarter than you give yourself credit for Dev."
I shrug and sigh out a breath. "So what about you? What's new in your life?" I ask casually. All of a sudden Kika looks really nervous and she glances back at Pierre, anxiety changes her relaxed position on the chair. Pierre is furthest from us on the plane and fast asleep with his headphones over his ears to block out the airplane noise. "Ki, what's wrong?" I push.
She hesitates and chews on her nail. I sit forward in my chair. She looks from Pierre to me. "I'm two weeks late." She mumbles, the words barely over a whisper. My eyes widen and I sit up straighter. I'm about to speak when Kika slams her hand over my mouth. "Don't tell Pierre, I don't know for sure yet, but I'm just- I'm never late."
Slowly, Kika releases her hand from my mouth. I'm sure my face is still one of shock but I remember to pick my jaw off the floor and whisper back. "Have you taken a test yet?"
She shakes her head, her hair flowing around her shoulders. "I couldn't get away from Pierre long enough this weekend to buy one. But I need to do a test soon."
She looks nervous and returns to biting her nails. I reach for her hand and squeeze it gently. "We'll go get one when we land. We'll tell the boys we need girl time, they won't question it."
Relief washes over Kika's face. "Thank you, Dev."
I squeeze her hand again.