Happiness
It has been like 5 years since (m/n) last breath the air of Tokyo. Now, he wakes up in another country that he has been calling home for the past 5 years. The sunshine peeking through the curtain was nothing like Tokyo even though it came from the same source, it's just different and dull as compared to Tokyo. He was rather confused as to why he was thinking that way, Tokyo seems foreign to him now. Living in New York as a well known author , Tokyo was the last thing on his mind, he didn't want to think about it too.
The memories that he had were just too painful and bizarre. If he had told anyone, they would have assumed that he was telling the plot of his new novel. It feels unreal. Even to him, it seems like a distant past, the one's that isn't worth remembering.
He jumped out of the bed and looked at the window. Tokyo and New York were alike in many ways. They were both busy and noisy. It was never silent yet was it neither safe. The people were also alike if not for their fashion and features. All they think of is money, sex and love. He sipped his strong black coffee and sat on the sofa of his living room. He looked around his apartment and saw nothing extraordinary. If he had been honest, he was feeling deeply lonely and alone. He could not remember the last time he smiled a genuine smile. He was indeed happy when his novel reach the top in New York Times but could never be too happy. When people saw him and ask for his signature, he would fake a smile and sign for them. He wanted to be happy. To be able to work one's dream and finding success seems like something that is guaranteed to be happy. Yet he wasn't happy. Now that he think about it, he has never been truly happy in anything.
He shrugged and stands up, he put his mug on the sink and started walking to his office where he wrote most of his stuffs.
It was something he had never learnt but was surprisingly good at it. But all of his works were something he could relate to.
It wasn't because he has a great mind or because he was extraordinary at writing.
Truth be told, all his novels were his autobiography. In this human world, it's a fantasy novel but to curse users it is not so. The protagonists were him with different names. Although there were some made up names, most of them were not fictional.
He started typing on his keyboard and pressed some letters but they could not form any meaning. They were empty, hollow and void. He could not think of anything. Having nothing in mind he decided to kill some time by cleaning his office. After some cleaning, he found a box that seems vaguely familiar. He sat down on the ground and open the box.
There in the box, almost instantly as he saw it's content, memories flood in his brain like waves.
After moving in, he thought he had lost it.
He had no remembrance of him keeping it behind his books. But there it was, in front of him. On top of it was his wedding invitation card, it was cream in colour. His name in gold and above it was Satoru's. He took out the invitation card, and underneath it was his wedding ring, the ring that Satoru gave him for his 18th birthday and his silver bracelet.
It's a shame that it didn't work out. They were so in love. All the battles that they faced were meaningless now. At the end they weren't made for each other. It's sad but there was nothing that they could do about it.
(m/n) remembered his mind going crazy when was about to decide the fate of the all the jewellery that he was presented.
He thought about selling them. It would be a wise decision as they were all expensive. But he just couldn't. He tried donating but they were screaming to be kept. What's the point of keeping when he wasn't going to wear in anymore?
Indecisive as he is, he stashed them in a box.
And underneath it all, it was a picture of them in Norway. Their body was close to each other and they were tightly holding their hands. (m/n) was smiling widely and Satoru was looking at him with such admiration. Under the Northern Lights, there was nothing that they needed since they had each other. (m/n) felt a tear coming out from his eyes. After all, he had not moved on. He persisted and resisted the temptation of asking himself that if one thing had been different would everything about them be different today.
Tokyo was a usual sight for Satoru. Now that he had a child, his days were rather busy. Although he had not been married to Utahime yet, he would be soon now. He was waiting for a certain someone to come back for a long time now. He had sent millions of messages and tried calling him for a billion time but they were all in vain.
He was willing to risk everything. He loved him so much that he even thought of running away. But he understood (m/n)'s feelings. His son would create diversions for them.And (m/n) was not the type to let a baby grow up without a parent. And finally, Satoru thought that it was time to just marry Utahime. He wasn't getting any younger. But he can't help but thinking if he had not slept with Utahime that night to make (m/n) heartbroken, would the outcome be entirely different? But all these had no meaning now as he was about to marry Utahime in a week.
He was a regular reader of (m/n)'s work and post so he knew where he was and what he was doing. It was him that thought 2 million of the copies of his first novel and donate them so that people could read (m/n)'s book. He visited New York a couple of times and stood near his apartment. However he doesn't have the courage to meet him. He watched (m/n) from a distance. His heart was crestfallen when he saw (m/n) smiling but at the same time it was all he needed.
Satoru grab some pen and paper and started writing down a short letter.
"Dearest (m/n),
I missed you dearly. Could I trouble you for the last time? Please come to my wedding on the XX XX XXXX. I want you as my best man. I would not be angry if you don't show up but I would be waiting for you"
The last thing Satoru wanted is to have (m/n) as his friend. But inevitably, the closest he can keep him is in that way.
For (m/n) the small message was like a million words. He packed his bags and flew to Japan. He wrote back to Satoru.
"Gojo Satoru,
I'll be there.
(m/n)"
He kept it short and simple but to Satoru it was everything.
On the plane, (m/n) wrote down what he would say in the wedding. It was rather hard, as making his relationship with Satoru as friendship was impossible. From the time that they met, there was little friendship, most of them was admiration and romance. They both wanted each other from the very start.
Finally, the happy day came. Satoru did not have time to meet (m/n) personally as he was dragged around by Utahime every minute. He looked at reflection in the mirror, he was not looking forward to marrying Utahime. They fought almost all the time. Not in a cheeky and playful way but with tension and hatred. She was not hesitant to throw her hands at him. And when that happens, he became feral and beats her up. It's not like he wanted to, he never started violence but if one asks for it, he was not backing down. To make it up, they would have rough sex without any passion or love. Just for lust and to feel relaxed. But after doing the deed, Satoru wanted to cry. He don't want touch anyone else but (m/n). However, he could not help his manly urge when she was grinding him between his legs.
When he waited for Utahime at the chamber, his eyes searched for someone, he frequently turn back to the crowd, hoping to see one person. The music started playing and he thought that (m/n) would not come. However, he entered the door just before Utahime, keeping his posture in a bow so as to not draw attention. He sat beside Shoko and whispered to her. Though the bride was walking, Satoru could not keep his eyes to her. His eyes were fixed on the back of the room. He glanced at him while saying his vows but he would never return his glance.
Satoru also hoped that someone would be rude enough to interrupt the wedding but not everyone was like Utahime, they were not rude or arrogant especially (m/n).
When he kissed Utahime, it was the first time he had kissed someone for 5 years.
It felt strange and awkward. The kiss lasted merely for a second and he know there was no turning back.
The wedding was over and Satoru found
(m/n) with Shoko. His lips were smeared with frosting, probably because Shoko was feeding him. Satoru had a smile on his face. There were butterflies on his stomach and he suddenly felt like he was 17 again. Satoru walked next to them and smiled.
"Shoko may I borrow (m/n) for a second"
He looked at Shoko and her face was not pleased at all, but she understood.
"You better not say anything stupid"
They were alone together. Both were trying to say something but their mouths would not allow them. At last, Satoru spoke.
"Were you tired?"
"Yeah. A little"
"So... uhh.. You'll be my best man right?"
"I got your letter"
The tension between them was tense.
They have a million things that they wanted to say to each other. However, they could not find the right words. They were afraid to be left out because they think that the other had moved on when in reality neither of them did.
"Thank you (m/n). I could never do it if it was me"
Satoru smiled a sad smile at (m/n). He had long to see his face everyday. He watch his face which was same as he had remembered if not a little slim.
"You should eat well (m/n)."
He moved closer to him and caress his face.
(m/n) look up at Satoru and saw that his bright blue eyes has deemed since the last time he saw him. He looked tired and exhausted, although everyone would look past that because he was so attractive with his suit on. However, (m/n) could see that something was draining Satoru.
"Believe me. You would do the same Satoru"
After that, both of them went to their separate ways.
When it was time for the best man's speech everyone was quiet. They all knew about their failed wedding and were quite sympathetic towards (m/n). For the very first time, everyone thought that (m/n) was courageous because he finally stopped running away. Deep down, they know that (m/n) must be hurt.
For (m/n), the silence was helping his anxiety. He cough as an excuse as his mouth could not form any words. But nevertheless he started his speech with a stutter.
"I-I'm quite honoured to be the best man of the strongest sorcerer. I'm sure that there are many people that he liked better. I- uh- I first met Satoru when I was 16, he was always so kind to me. But he was indeed mischievous and enjoyed taunting me like everyone else. One time when we were on a mission on a haunted house. He locked the door because he knew that I was afraid of ghosts!"
No one laughed because they saw how uncomfortable (m/n) was. He was neither good at making jokes or giving a speech. The people in the room were tensed just like (m/n) was. Their hands were clenched and their hearts were racing, if they could they would speak on (m/n)'s behalf.
"But he has been the greatest friend. He would order for me when we eat out, and he never find me boring although I'm a very boring person. He has deep love for everyone and although he could be reckless at times, he's very reliable and true to his words."
(m/n) could feel tears coming out from his eyes and his voice started to become hoarse. He just couldn't give up Satoru just yet. But he had to.
"Satoru, you are my best friend. I wish nothing but the best for you. And know that if you ever need me , I would be here for you. And I-I- I will love you wherever you are and whoever you are"
(m/n) sat down for some time and excused himself. Satoru watched (m/n) the entire time and was pretty moved by his speech. He also noticed that his eyes were starry and red. He was about to excuse himself to look after (m/n) when his "wife" stopped him.
"I will go. I have something to tell him"
Satoru eyes darken when he heard her.
"You actually have the audacity do you?"
Utahime rolled her eyes.
"We were friends too remember?"
"If you say anything bad to him, I'll kill you with my bare hands"
Utahime found (m/n) at the nearby restroom. He flinched when he saw Utahime's reflection in the mirror.
Utahime move closer to him and speaks up.
"I hope you're well (m/n)"
"I'm perfectly fine . How about you"
"I'm good, I guess. I hope you don't hate me though. Although I would be fine if you do"
Utahime did not miss the fact that (m/n) was crying. She think she was insensitive but she really did need to talk to her. She thought that it was best if she left him alone.
"(m/n) Thank you for giving me to him"
Just like that she left.
(m/n) decided to go home early but he couldn't. Instead he went to a bar that he used to go with Satoru. After feeling high enough he started sobbing to himself.
After crying for a while, he felt someone sitting next to him.
"I thought I told you to stop drinking"
Nanami spoke, his cool voice sends shiver down (m/n)'s spine because he was feeling guilty for what he did to Nanami.
He hugged him and sobbed.
"I'm sorry Kento, I have been extremely rude to you. I hope you don't hate me"
Kento embraced (m/n). He had never hated him in any way. He was glad and grateful to spend even the little time with him. To him, he could never hate (m/n).
He knew his past, he knew he was broken.
He knew that Satoru was the cure to (m/n)'s pain. He thought that he could do that too but it wasn't possible"
"I never hated you (m/n). You would marry me if I had not backed down.I just can't imagine you being unhappy because of me. Now smile"
Kento seems like the only one that could calm (m/n). He stopped crying and Kento wiped the tears on (m/n)'s face.
"Kento what do I do now?"
Kento sighed and look at (m/n)
"I don't know (m/n). But if you wish to be happy, the only way to it is wishing happiness to the one taking it away from you"
The end?