Josephine
If I had to say, with absolute certainty, one thing I don't like doing, it would definitely be posing for photos.
I hate anything that keeps me still, forced to make an almost sullen face while an obsessed photographer jumps up and down the room, speaking in monosyllables and giving abstruse instructions.
I happened to pose for an Australian magazine and I remember perfectly the very loud music that didn't even allow me to hear my own thoughts.
A photographer shouted "turn around", "look sexy" and other stupid things like that.
I hate photos in general if the subject is me.
Instead, I love photographing landscapes or scenes of everyday life. I like that and it relaxes me.
I have had a blog for a few years, which only my friends can access, and I update it constantly.
I like to immortalize the most significant moments of my days, almost as if it were a virtual diary made only of images. It relaxes me to look at photos from a few years ago and brings to mind moments that I would otherwise have forgotten.
"Josephine, we'll start in five minutes!" Someone shouts at me outside the dressing room.
I snort and look at myself in the mirror.
Whoever chose these clothes must have had a bad day and decided that I should suffer the consequences.
Jenny and Anna welcomed us with an avalanche of different dresses, all to try on and photograph, in order to choose which ones may or may not be suitable for the film, based on how they look on the screen.
I'm sorry to admit that some of Tessa's clothes are really ugly and I fervently hope they won't choose them.
Tessa is a simple and sensible girl, but we don't necessarily have to portray her as having a terrible lack of taste in clothing. You can be simple and dress well at the same time.
I don't imagine Tessa like that and I feel like I'm spiteful to her, wearing this horrible dress.
I look at myself in the mirror again, smoothing out the dress with a million folds in the skirt. I feel like a bad, slightly burnt meringue.
I sigh and leave the dressing room, ready to defend Tessa with all my being.
I won't make her wear this dress!
Anna waits for me outside and frowns at me as soon as I step into the room.
"This in my opinion..." She takes a moment to formulate the sentence, but I can see it on her face that she too is of the same opinion as me: this dress is terrible!
"I would say... no to that?" I'm taking a gamble, trying not to be disrespectful. I know someone definitely worked hard to research these outfits.
So far I have been silent but there is a limit to everything.
Anna laughs "I was about to say the same thing! Tessa would never wear that!"
"That's better!" I let out a sigh of relief. "I just can't see Tessa dressed like a meringue!"
Anna giggles along with me and Jenny motions to the costume designer to remove this dress from my wardrobe.
A girl with short black hair makes a note in a notebook and nods nervously, adjusting her glasses on her nose. I assume she is the costume designer or the assistant perhaps, I don't know.
She approaches me, continuing to read something on the folder in her hand.
"Hey Hello!" I smile at her holding out my hand "I'm Josephine, but you can call me Jo."
She looks up in shock, almost as if she's seeing me now for the first time.
"Oh. Um...hello." She clears her throat and looks at my hand, still waiting for hers.
I keep smiling and wait for her move.
Finally, she holds out her hand and tightens her grip weakly, a look of shock on her face.
"I... Um..." She clears her throat again "I'm Annie, the costume designer's assistant" she says quickly.
I was right then, she is taking notes for this reason.
"Nice to meet you Annie"
She smiles at me sheepishly and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. She is very nervous and her gaze returns to the folder in front of her.
"What's the next outfit?" I wish I could calm her down a little. Could it be that I'm the one who makes her feel so intimidated? Pfff... That's not possible, right? She'll be around my age by the way!
"I... Here..." She clears her throat again and quickly flips through her notes.
"Annie, breathe!" I smile at her, taking her by surprise.
She looks at me fearfully before letting out a nervous laugh. She stops and takes a breath, closing her eyes.
"It's my first day, I can't concentrate!" She says almost in a whisper and then looks around to make sure no one has heard.
"Okay, no problem. It's normal to be nervous, I am too!" We giggle together and I see her relax slightly. "You just tell me what the next dresses are and we can do it!" I whisper too.
She nods and really smiles at me for the first time. Check the folder again "There's dress number 10, this one here!" She leans into the sea of clothing they brought me, grabs one from the line and hands it to me. "Let me know how it looks on you!"
She seems to have regained control a bit and I'm really happy about that.
"Perfect!" I wink at her,
"I can finally take off this horrible dress!" I whisper to myself looking at the dress in my hand.
"I think you're really cute!" Hero whispers surprising me
behind me, before I can enter the dressing room.
I gasp. I turn to him with a hand on my chest in fear.
"You want me dead!"
"That's not true! Exaggerated!" He smiles and then looks me up and down carefully.
I do a turn to get a better look while my skirt inflates slightly like a balloon. Terrible.
My attempt at being casual enough hopefully masks my sudden agitation.
"Look at this abomination!" I whisper so as not to be heard by the rest of the crew, while I look around to see if anyone is watching us.
Hero chuckles, handsome as usual, dressed all in black with a biker-style leather jacket.
It's breathtakingly hot.
He could probably look good even if he wore a garbage bag!
Pfff... Models!
"The dress itself is quite disgusting, I agree with you" he whispers looking into my eyes "But on you, I like it!"
I remain speechless.
I can't say a word.
What did he just say?
And above all: why?
I look at him as if he had just confessed to a terrible crime. He smiles and his look is decidedly amused. Two dimples appear on the sides of his mouth, hypnotizing me.
I swallow and try to catch my breath.
He wants me dead, seriously.
"Jo, go change!" Anna shouts from behind a camera. "You still have so many dresses to try on! We need to start filming the two of you together!"
I wake up from my thoughts and nod, quickly leaving towards the dressing rooms.
The two of us together.
Sounds good, right? No, it shouldn't have this effect on me.
Hero just paid me a compliment!
No, right? He was joking! I mean, he could have just been nice because I was wearing this horrible thing, there wouldn't be anything wrong with that. Just a kind gesture. He is a kind boy.
Is nice.
And thoughtful.
And cool. Beautiful. Stupendous. Hot.
Okay, stop. It's nothing!
So why is my heart pounding in my chest at 220mph?
"Breathe Jo, breathe!" I repeat myself in a low, mantra-like voice.
It was a simple, innocent comment.
Nothing more.
After trying on three more dresses, with Annie's precious help, I change for the umpteenth time.
Hanging in the dressing room there is a very simple outfit with a pair of jeans and a white tank top.
Finally something really simple.
We went from floral dresses to those with unlikely colors, ending up with... this?
I sigh as I change clothes.
When I return to the set, Hero is only wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of black trousers. He probably just took off the jacket he had on before.
How fun it is to be a man!
He is serious, focused. He looks around with a model's gaze, perfectly in the role, as if he were already acting.
They are taking some photos of him, from various angles and I keep to the side, observing carefully.
He has a magnetic gaze that captures attention and I can't help but look at him. I would like to be more discreet and I hope that the fact of being in a more secluded position is enough so that no one realizes that I am so interested in him.
"Hey..." He smiles when he sees me, turning to me.
"HI!" I smile reflexively, as if I were seeing him now for the first time.
Caught in full while I was admiring it in all its splendor. I pretend nothing is happening and bite my lip to avoid saying whatever bullshit is on my mind.
The photographer decides that I must pass under the lens of his lens too, to my great joy. Yuhuuu! I can't wait!
I try to look as natural as possible, even when they decide to style my hair in a very simple ponytail and make me wear a greenish jacket with a backpack of the same color.
I try to imitate Hero, remaining serious and composed, but I honestly don't know what the result will be. I don't feel very good at this kind of thing. It's definitely not for me.
Fortunately, just a few shots are enough, just to test the lights, and Jenny gets us both on set this time. Together.
Another change of clothes and I'm once again dressed in jeans and a white tank top.
The invisible bra I wear underneath is pinching me like hell and I just want to adjust it better on my back. But I can't do it without attracting everyone's eyes, even though I desperately want to reach behind me and move it a little.
I take a deep breath, close my eyes and focus on something else.
For example, the eyes of this spectacular boy.
My legs are shaking from how excited I am to be here with him.
"Come closer, you're too far away!" The photographer who until now has remained on the sidelines intervenes.
"Jo, is everything okay?" Hero's voice warms my heart and gives me unexpected shivers of excitement.
It shouldn't have this effect on me, but it's reassuring and exciting at the same time.
It's a warm, deep voice and then do we want to talk about this super mega sexy accent? Oh, come on! You would melt too, if you were me!
The fact is that the more I'm with him, the more I want to be with him. I would happily stay stuck to him 24 hours a day if it wasn't considered stalking.
I sigh, trying to calm my thoughts, under his inquisitive gaze, while I feel like laughing thanks to my stupid thoughts.
What had he asked me?
Oh yeah, right. If everything is fine, you say?
"Uh, yeah. Great. Super. No problem!" I nod perhaps too firmly as I swallow and try to look away.
Other than this terrible bra that is annoying the hell out of me, everything is fine.
Hero continues to look at me doubtfully, his eyes close, leaving two slits. He's not convinced!
I knew it! He's perhaps the only person with whom I can't put on the actress mask. He always catches me, is it possible?
I might as well tell him at this point.
"It's just..." I whisper, moving closer to him.
I have a sudden second thought: should I really tell him?
I would not know.
Is it embarrassing?
He continues to look at me attentively.
Okay, I'll tell him. It's nothing strange really and I don't see why I should be embarrassed by it.
It's just annoying!
"The bra..." I sigh, rolling my eyes, while I nervously move to try to move it, so that it doesn't bother me so much anymore. Needless to say, I don't get the desired result. I'll have to unhook it and re-hook it if I want this annoyance to go away.
Or remove it completely, even better. But I don't think that's the case now.
I snort again "This evil thing is bothering me and I don't know what to do!" I say it all in one breath.
He widens his eyes for a moment, obviously surprised and then a smile appears on his face.
"If it's just this, what can I do to help you?"
I burst out laughing without realizing it.
He's joking, right?
Him and my bra, in the same sentence?
He's joking!
"You? Absolutely nothing!" My eyes widen too "I should unhook it but we are in front of too many people!" I point this out to him, as if he hadn't noticed too.
"Fix it then, I'll cover you! Tell me when you did it" His proposal doesn't seem so bad to me and I think about it seriously.
Anna invites us to hurry and I have little time to think about what to do.
Meanwhile, the bra continues to give me impressive discomfort! It feels like I'm constantly scratching my skin. It's terrible!
"Okay..." I whisper "It'll take me a second!"
"I've got your back!" He turns away from me. I have his back before my eyes and his scent envelops me like a warm blanket on a cold winter day.
Oh God, do you hear what I'm thinking?!?
It's madness!
In a second I put my hands on my back and unhook the infernal contraption, finding at the same time the reason for my annoyance: a giant label right in contact with my back.
I try to remove it but nothing, it doesn't work.
I don't have much time and I don't want to risk breaking my bra, it's also part of the stage costume, and therefore it's not mine!
It's hard for me to ask for help right now, especially from him, but I have to do it. Now or never.
"Hero?" I whisper, looking intently at his back.
Holy shit how hot is this guy?
He turns his head slightly and looks at me.
Every time his eyes meet mine, I skip a beat. Such a thing is not possible.
I don't even remember what I wanted to ask him anymore.
Oh yes! Right. The bra.
"You could... I mean..." I clear my throat. How the heck do I ask him now?
His gaze moves to my hands hidden by the shirt, to my back.
I see him swallow and then look back into my eyes again.
"I have to remove the label but I can't do it like this!"
Luckily there is a lot of coming and going on the set and so far no one is ready to take any more photos.
However, I am sure that this break will not last long!
"What do you want me to do?" He whispers, looking at me intently.
His voice is already a perpetual source of chills, but when he lowers his tone, and he does it often with me, 99% of the time I no longer understand anything.
This is one of those times.
I'm about to ask him to put his hands under my shirt, to adjust my bra. I'm about to take it seriously.
I swallow again and think carefully about what I'm about to tell him.
"Can you remove this label?" I turn and lift my shirt. I watch him out of the corner of my eyes, over my shoulder. His gaze immediately falls on my bare back. Okay.
Perfect.
Now I will be able to stay calm and the shivers that will come across my skin will certainly not be due to the cold.
It's terribly hot in here!
Now even more.
Don't you feel hot too?
Damn global warming!
He nods quickly and turns to me, his back to the crew this time.
His hands slip quickly under my shirt, almost as if he wasn't waiting for anything else.
But that's not the case, is it? I'm just imagining it.
It is delicate, light but at the same time decisive.
This is turning me on and it shouldn't!!!
No it shouldn't!!!
Absolutely not!
His fingers graze my skin and in a second the tag is removed with a firm tear.
This is making me horny too.
It's not normal.
No, no and no again.
He pulls my shirt down and I miss his hands on my skin.
This guy has fried my brain.
It's official now.
I turn as he hands me the label with an amused smile on his face.
At least he's having fun!!! I'm hot and feeling pretty excited.
Ideal for working peacefully with him.
I couldn't ask for anything better!
I block in the bud every unchaste thought that invades my mind, diverting my attention elsewhere.
There are the lights, the photographer who jumps up and down giving various directions to the assistants, the chairs and various objects that are on the set, which are moved quickly, Anna who looks at us smiling.
Anna looking at us smiling?
Her eyes are amused as she watches our interaction.
It's obvious that we didn't go as unnoticed as I'd hoped.
Optimal.
I have to pretend nothing happened and play my part.
Nothing happened. I'm not shocked at all.
I 'm very good.
Um, um. Everything splendid. Fantastic. Super. Great.
I look up at Hero and again I no longer understand anything.
"Is it better now?" He whispers lowering his face towards me.
I nod, taking a deep breath. I can do it! The shivers I feel are just an impression.
"You're nervous?" He looks at me attentively, stroking my arm delicately.
Well, keep going like this and soon I won't even remember my name.
I 'm very good.
Or I'll have a heart attack.
A trivial thing.
Bam! Dead as a doornail here!
I would make a great impression, for sure!
I nod "A little, yes..." But maybe not for the reason you think.
And then there's no point denying the evidence, you can see a mile away that I'm not in an environment that makes me feel at ease.
Furthermore, his presence is reassuring and destabilizing at the same time. A lethal mix of confusion and embarrassment.
Now also excitement.
Lots of excitement.
Everything is fine.
Very good actually, right?
"Let me guide you, okay?" He winks at me and his hand gently slides down my arm until it touches my hand.
I feel every single inch of my skin coming into contact with him.
It's incredible.
I have all my senses on alert.
Every time he touches me, shivers run through my body in an electric dance.
I get lost in his magnetic green eyes.
Again.
I would let him drive me to the end of the world! You don't even have to ask!
"Have you ever done photo shoots before?" His hand touches mine again, drawing circles on my wrist.
It's a hypnotic and strangely relaxing movement.
He's caressing me deliberately. It is not a casual gesture.
The butterflies in my stomach explode forcefully.
I take another deep breath and continue to look at him.
Something suddenly catches our attention.
Or rather: someone.
The photographer tries to call us to order, waving his arms and shouting instructions in monosyllables to his assistants.
I don't envy them at all.
"Guys, get into position!" He yells at us, pointing to some Xs on the floor that I'm only now noticing, by the way. Were they there before? I don't know, I was too busy watching someone to notice.
"Hug each other, do whatever you would do if you were engaged, okay? Let's get started!" He waits for our nod before starting the photoshoot.
Oh. What an absurd request!
No, Jo. Concentrate!
I take a deep breath, close my eyes for a moment and get into the role. Well. Let's start! I position myself on the red X on the ground and see Hero doing the same thing, next to me. We remain like this for a moment, still. I have no idea what to do honestly. I said it myself that these situations don't make me feel at ease. What the hell are we supposed to do? What does it mean: act like boyfriend and girlfriend? I was with some guys for not even a few months, I have no idea what a request like that means.
Should I kiss him? Oh god yes. No, I was joking.
Take his hand? Maybe.
I look to Hero for help, I have no idea what to do.
He understands my state of complete panic and takes control of the situation: he pulls me towards him quickly, taking me by surprise.
"Can I put my hand on your hip?" It would actually be a good idea to leave the management of this thing to him. I nod, at a loss for words. I absolutely don't have to say what I'm thinking.
He brings me closer to him, placing a hand on the thin fabric that divides my skin from his.
I feel like I'm burning by spontaneous combustion.
It can happen, right? Once an artichoke caught fire while I was cleaning it.
It can absolutely happen!
"Great guys!" The photographer shouts again. "Stay like this!"
He takes various photos from different angles and I slowly relax, lost in the eyes of this fantastic boy in front of me. Neither of them seems willing to look away.
"Hi, my girlfriend " whispered Hero, smiling.
The dimples that form on the sides of his mouth drive me crazy. Literally go crazy.
"Is this a proposal from you?" I reply almost without moving my lips, so as not to be discovered.
Another smile escapes him and then he regains his demeanor in "model" mode: serious and concentrated expression. It's fascinating how he can go from such a beautiful smile to a serious and magnetic look in a second.
It makes me dizzy.
"Let's change positions. Jo, do you feel like sitting on Hero's lap? Is Hero okay with you?" The photographer shouts again. Why does he have to scream, I wonder? We feel great.
I like that he asks us if we feel like doing something. It's respectful and it's not so obvious.
I look at Hero for an answer and he shrugs, still looking intently into my eyes.
"It's fine with me, if it's fine with you!" He confirms me with a whisper.
He is so thoughtful and attentive to all the details that I am more and more fascinated by him.
And more and more smitten, but it's a negligible detail.
I nod and go towards him, who in the meantime has settled into a chair.
He holds out his hand again and helps me sit up, pulling me into his lap.
I don't know exactly what to do, I wouldn't want to burden him too much and bother him.
I'm also distracted by the contact with his hand. It's a lethal mix of sensations that show no sign of abating even for a moment.
"A little closer guys, like before!" The voiceover shouts.
I do as we're asked but I'm starting to feel too comfortable.
I shouldn't have this feeling of comfort, sitting on someone I barely know. Right?
Hero lowers his face to look me in the eyes. His mouth is dangerously close to mine.
"Is this okay?" He whispers.
I don't know if I will survive this day, I promise you. My legs feel like jelly.
"Hero hug her!"
Here's the final blow!
I'm so confused that what I hear is "Hero, kiss her!", instead of 'hug her' and this makes me immediately tense up.
Kiss me? Now?
Okay, I've completely lost control.
It's clear now.
"Can I?" His voice in my ear gives me a sudden rush of shivers all over.
I can't help but nod.
Does he want to kiss me? I mean, is that what he's going to do? A stage kiss?
I brushed my teeth?
Am I breathing?
He passes his arm gently around my hips, encircling my waist.
The warmth of his body envelops me completely and I feel lost but at the same time precisely in my place in the world.
I watch his movements and think I could stay in this potion forever.
Seriously. Leave me here.
It is comfortable. Welcoming. Safe.
The photographer jumps up and down the studio shooting from various positions. I don't care too much about it, I have other things to think about.
For example how solid his legs are.
Is this a sensible thought?
I do not know. I have no idea.
I'm so confused that I'm not sure of anything anymore, really.
The world is beautiful!
"Well done! Keep your gaze."
I swallow as Hero's arm pulls me closer. Yes, I won't survive this. Definitely no.
I feel safe and protected. It's a heart-warming feeling.
My eyes land on his again and I feel pleasantly chained to him.
Will he kiss me now?
Hero watches me attentively and more than once his gaze ends up on my lips.
He bites his, before looking me in the eyes again.
I swallow.
I won't be able to handle this tension much longer.
"Should we kiss?" It's not happening and I'm starting to wonder why.
Shouldn't he have kissed me?
Hero looks at me attentively "Do you want me to kiss you?" He whispers and it's the sexiest thing I've ever heard before.
I'm hot.
It's hot in here, don't you think?
Who the hell raised the temperature?!?
"Yes!" I see his surprised reaction and I hasten to specify "No, I mean" I clear my throat "The photographer asked you first, right?"
He seems thoughtful for a moment, then chuckling he explains to me that they asked him to hug me, not to kiss me.
Now I'm embarrassed!
I feel hot on my cheeks and I will definitely have turned red like a tomato.
Hero chuckles and his chest rises and falls making me move gently.
I don't really know what comes over me today, but this also seems like a particularly erotic gesture.
I have crazy hormones.
I can't formulate a sentence that makes sense enough, so I prefer to remain silent.
"Good, now let's take some photos standing up! Jo, can you hug him? We'll give you a chair to stand on and you can hug him!" The photographer is already ready to shoot.
Hero must notice my hesitant face because he touches my shoulder "If you don't want to..."
"No, of course! It's fine!" I hasten to answer. Of course I like it! I like it too much!
They bring me a chair and I climb onto it, just before Hero welcomes me into his arms.
It makes both of us laugh tremendously and we are scolded several times for it.
We have to remain boringly serious and almost expressionless but at the same time, pretend to be in love.
Am I the only one who understands the absurdity of the situation?
"Guys stay serious!" The photographer complains.
Here, exactly.
I try, I swear I try to stay serious but I can't.
Partly because of the embarrassment and partly because of the extremely intimate position.
My legs are around his waist, while my arms are around his shoulders.
He supports my legs with his hands and every touch makes my skin burn, even when wrapped in jeans.
My chest against his is the icing on the cake.
I hear his heart beating fast and I swallow for the hundredth time trying to remain professional.
I move just enough to look him in the eyes and the feeling is that of being close, too close.
It's an intimate position and my mantra is: you are working.
We look at each other for a few moments before bursting out laughing. I can't stop, it's so embarrassing.
If we were alone, it would be a different situation. But here, in front of everyone, I feel really uncomfortable. I would like to be alone with him, in this position.
In many other positions too, to be honest.
Oh, Jo! Stop that! Curb your hormones!
Okay, okay! It's a small detail that we won't take into consideration now.
Hero lets me down, sliding down in front of him, then turns with his back to me. "Let's try this way!"
He opens his arms and motions for me to get onto his back.
I get on his shoulders and the situation doesn't change at all, on the contrary. We are both entertained and laughing and being silly: a mixture of madness and excitement.
His hands grasp my knees and the grip is tight, sure.
It brings an avalanche of unchaste thoughts to my mind.
Nothing, it doesn't even work that way.
The photographer, however, seems satisfied and so it didn't go that bad.
I get off his shoulders and come back down to earth.
Hero turns to me with a gorgeous smile on his face.
He's so beautiful it hurts.
We stand facing each other looking at each other. His hand rests on my cheek in an unexpected caress. I take a deep breath, closing my eyes.
I can do it. Ultimately it's just about regaining control.
It's not easy but I have to do it.
"Jo..." He whispers, moving a stray strand of hair from my face.
Well, this doesn't help me at all.
"Alright guys. Now you have to stay close! Look into each other's eyes and stay serious!" The photographer shouts.
"Everything okay?" Hero asks me. The look goes from amused to worried.
It's incredible how he instantly recognizes my moods, even though he tries so hard to hide them.
Absurd.
I nod, looking at the ground for a moment.
Concentration.
I just need a little concentration.
When I look back into his eyes, it takes a moment for my will to waver again.
"Hero, pretend to be her boyfriend." I hear someone in the distance making this very inappropriate suggestion given my mental state.
Thank you very much.
He tilts his head to the side looking at me seriously. His hand touches my cheek gently again and I close my eyes, breathing deeply.
I really love being with him and I know perfectly well that I can only be like this if we pretend to be together.
There is no possibility outside the film set.
Too many complications: first of all the distance. It's a real shame because I don't feel like I've ever been so in tune with anyone before.
"What's bothering you?" He whispers lowering his face towards me. I don't think anyone is listening to us at the moment, also because he is speaking so softly that even I struggle to hear what he says.
I look up and stare at him for a while. I am deeply in love with these light eyes, so bright, true, crystalline. I don't know how else to describe them.
I shake my head weakly as his forehead rests against mine. He leaves a kiss on my hair and I take another deep breath. It's too good to be true, don't you think?
Can you imagine what it must be like to be able to call Hero "my boyfriend"?
Handsome. It must be really beautiful.
Who knows, sooner or later I'll find this amazing chemistry with someone else and it will be just as beautiful.
Yes, it will happen in the future. I'm sure.
"Hey..." His eyes are so close they melt into mine.
His breath tickles my lips and I'm dying to kiss him. Obviously for the film, as Tessa. At least I will have this opportunity and it is no small thing. Not everyone can have this luck.
It's not even fair that now I'm letting these melancholy thoughts ruin my day and the moment.
It's not enough.
I take another deep breath and move my head back, pulling away from him.
I give him a smile and see his face light up.
"Everything's ok, really!" I whisper this time, caressing his cheek.
His skin is soft, slightly rough where he shaved but it's not very noticeable.
He closes his eyes and leans his face into my hand.
He's really good at playing the boyfriend.
I have never been this intimate with the boyfriends I've had and it says a lot about who I've dated in the past.
I hear a sigh from him as he reopens his eyes and looks back at me again.
I would stay like this forever.
"Excellent! Now stay close, as if you wanted to kiss."
The photographer's voice makes me get back in touch with reality. It's not him and me, alone in a room. We are among many people, many of whom are watching us.
We are Hardin and Tessa, in their eyes.
I know perfectly well that I am only Josephine right now and he is Hero, without a shadow of a doubt.
If they ask us to kiss, I will concentrate on playing Tessa. It's the only thing I can do to save myself from total perdition.
It's the most professional thing I can do, for both of us.
"Hero, would you mind taking off your shirt now?" The photographer passes in front of us moving some chairs from the set, catching my attention.
He talks to his assistants while setting up the equipment.
I look at Hero again and realize that he has never stopped watching me.
I clear my throat as he takes off his t-shirt smoothly in front of me.
I swallow and try not to let my embarrassment show.
They drew fake tattoos all over his body, exactly the ones Hardin is supposed to have.
He has a slender, elegant and imposing physique given his height.
He has a dimple in the center of his sternum that catches my eye.
I bite my lip trying to force myself to look away.
"Good, great! Jo, your turn!" They signal me to join Hero. "You should hug him, staying in his arms. Like this!" The photographer mimes the action with his somewhat embarrassed assistant.
All this triggers general laughter, especially mine.
Partly out of embarrassment and partly out of the absurd situation.
Laughing, especially in these cases, is liberating and manages to calm my nerves just enough to continue with the photoshoot.
There's nothing wrong with hugging Hero, a colleague of mine.
I approach him, who smiles amused by the scene the photographer has just done.
"I don't bite, I swear!" He whispers when I'm close enough to him.
Ok, yeah.
A deep breath.
This is acting too!
I put my hands on his shoulders and give myself a push to jump on him.
He grabs my thighs and holds me close to him.
His grip is firm and reassuring.
I'd tell you this isn't even remotely exciting, but I'd have to lie to myself too.
If I was excited before when he still had his clothes on, imagine now.
"Okay! Hero, put your hands higher!"
Who is dictating these absurd instructions? Where the hell do they think he should put his hands?
I look into his eyes and the contact with his skin is devastating. I feel it everywhere and his grip on my thighs is firm, strong.
His scent invades my nostrils and I can't think of anything else except that I'm in Hero's arms, with my legs around his chest, wrapped around his body.
I'm excited yes. I'm pretty excited!
He looks at me hesitantly "Jo, can I?" He slowly slides his hands towards my butt, as he was asked.
I bite my lip and nod.
Could I do it differently?
I might, for example, remember to breathe. That would be quite useful at this time.
It's work, right?
I keep repeating it even though I don't believe it myself.
I feel my skin tingling where he gently touches me.
He is super professional, I must admit and this is a credit to him.
The problem it's me!
Slowly his hands slide towards my ass and stop just before.
I think I won't survive this day. I've said it before and I'll say it again.
"Okay guys, I think we're done! Thanks for your cooperation!" The photographer compliments us and begins to arrange his equipment.
Thank goodness we're done!
It was a beautiful but also really tough experience!
I take a step away from him while I straighten my shirt, trying to give myself a minimum of composure.
He puts his shirt back on and stands next to me, with his hands in his pockets.
Anna joins us, followed by the director, with a big smile on her lips and her eyes shining with emotion.
"You guys were phenomenal! I'm blown away by your chemistry!"
Jenny looks at us with satisfaction "You are totally in tune and I couldn't be happier!"
I look at Hero and it makes me smile.
Aside from the chaos in my head, we're definitely in tune!
I see him running a hand through his hair, almost embarrassed.
"Oh yeah, we get along really well!" I touch his shoulder with mine in a friendly gesture, to break some of the tension that has been created.
He unexpectedly wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me towards him.
"She's a little crazy, but I think we'll get along!" He exclaims smiling.
"Hey!" I pat his chest pretending to be shocked.
He raises his hands in surrender and bursts out laughing "It's dangerous too!!!"
I shake my head in amusement.
I like that we are relaxed together again and play and don't take each other seriously.
"Good..." Jenny clears her throat, smiling knowingly at Anna "We're done for today! You're free to go"
We nod and go back to the dressing room together to change. I can't stand these clothes anymore, I can't wait to wear mine again.
The dress I came in today was fresh and light, not to mention the open sandals! A pleasure!
These jeans, however, are so tight that they are blocking my blood circulation!
"I'll see you soon!" Hero winks at me and enters the dressing room next to mine.
Knowing that things are changing right next to me is detrimental to my mental health. I have to think about something else. I don't know what, but I have to force myself to at least try.
I try to change quickly and immediately feel better as soon as I put my clothes back on.
I can breathe a sigh of relief.
Memories of moments that have just passed crowd into my mind, without I being able to do anything about it. The looks we exchanged, his lips inviting me to kiss him.
It feels like I'm seriously living inside a movie.
Is all this really happening?
I do not know.
I only know that I have a terrible, irrational, unstoppable desire to kiss him. And I can not.
Above all, I can't!
We have to remain professional and I can't expose myself that much.
No no no.
We have the rest of the day free and I'll use it to calm my nerves a bit.
I could go for a ride or go back to the hotel. I could go with him, obviously, although I don't know how much it would help me.
Knocking at the door.
"Jo, are you there?"
His voice is like a melody that resonates powerfully inside me every time.
I'm even becoming romantic, I who am the antithesis of romanticism.
"Coming! Just a minute!" I shouted.
I look around quickly to make sure I got everything.
Ok, I can go out.
The make-up they did on me, as well as the hairstyle, I will take off calmly this evening.
As soon as I open the door I find Hero on the threshold waiting for me, arms crossed and a thoughtful look.
He looks me up and down carefully.
"Yeah, you're right. You look much better dressed like this!" He concludes by smiling at me.
My heart misses a beat.
He can't do this to me every time!
Is absurd!
I keep telling myself that we barely know each other, but I can't pretend I don't feel anything! It's irrational but that's how feelings are, right?
I do not understand anything anymore.
Me and him, two months always together.
It could be a dream as much as a nightmare.
I smile at him as I close the door behind me and walk with him towards the outside of the studios.
The compliment doesn't escape me, but I try not to think about it too much.
We are colleagues, there is nothing wrong with all this.
It's been several hours since we arrived and the sun is already starting to set over Atlanta.
"I'm hungry." He puts his hands in his pockets as he walks and looks at me "You?"
"Is this an invitation?" I smile at him jokingly.
He looks straight ahead smiling and then looks at me intensely.
"Maybe..." He chuckles as I shake my head in amusement.
"Do I need a date to take you out?" It continues leaving me speechless.
Mmh...what? I did not understand.
My heart beats very loudly in my chest.
I smile at him taking a deep breath.
I have to remember to breathe!
"Well, that's usually how it works!" I point it out to him.
I have to stop flirting with him but it seems to come naturally to both of us.
He smiles, running a hand through his hair
"Jo, do you want to go out with me?"
I freeze in the middle of the sidewalk.
What?
Even though we were talking about it, I seriously thought he was joking.
I look at him as if he had suddenly gone crazy and it is very likely that he is!
"What's up?" He looks around, trying to figure out what's going on.
"I..." I don't know what to say, seriously. Did he invite me out to date or did I dream it?
"If you don't like it, we'll go back to the hotel. No problem!" He touches my arm, prolonging the contact.
I shake my head and swallow, trying to figure out how to respond.
"No, no. We can, I mean I could. Yeah!" I babble nonsense. My brain is going haywire. "I could very well. I'd say I could, yes!"
"So what do you say, do you want to go out with me?" He repeats the question as he continues to stroke my arm. He reaches down to my hand and plays with my fingers.
How do I tell him no?
And then I don't want to tell him no!
I nod excitedly.
I feel that all this is sooooo right.
Risky for our careers, but fair.
I want to get to know him and spend as much time as possible with him.
"I would love to go out with you" I tell him while my heart beats very fast.
"Great!" he winks at me and his hand slowly intertwines in mine.
I close my eyes to savor the moment.
It's all so perfect it doesn't seem real.
"Guys, shall we go?" A voice shouts behind us.
He and I are still hand in hand and neither of us seems willing to let go.
We turn in the direction of the familiar voice.
"Anna?" I ask her, looking at her doubtfully.
What does 'let's go' mean? Go where?
"The car is waiting for us! We have lunch with the rest of the crew, don't you remember?" She looks at us questioningly.
I didn't know anything about it or if he told me about it, I definitely removed this information.
I look at Hero and he too looks doubtful.
"Looks like we'll have to postpone our date!" He smiles at me as those gorgeous dimples appear on his face.
"I guess so..." I sigh as I reluctantly let go of his hand
It seemed too good to be true, actually!
"There's always dinner!" He whispers as he walks past me, lowering his face towards me.
I smile really happy.
For those who love challenges, like me, this is definitely an adventure not to be missed!