Migo was looking at me, waiting for my answer. Hindi agad ako nakapag salita. Paulit ulit kong tinigtignan si Migo at ang daddy niya. His dad really look serious but he didn't mind waiting for my answer. 'Yong iba kasi kapag di agad nasagot, parang kita mo agad na naiinis sila.
Calm down, Deanna. That's Migo's dad... Migo's family oriented. I know that he loves his family so much that's why I need to be comfortable.
"Okay po. If it is okay with Migo," I said. Tumingin naman kami ng daddy niya sa kaniya nang sabay. Napatingin siya sa amin ng daddy niya na parang naguguluhan pa.
"Me? Of course it's okay with me," tanging sagot niya kahit na parang naguguluhan.
"Okay, then. I'll let you two be. I'll message you. Anyway, do you have a place in mind on where you wanna eat?" I thought Migo's dad was talking to him but he was looking at me! Nataranta ako bigla. Bakit ako 'yung tinatanong?
"Ah, I'm good anywhere po," I answered. I did not want to sound disrespectful, I don't even want to be disrespectful. Tumango lang ang daddy niya at tinapik siya bago umalis.
Saka ako nakahinga nang maluwag.
"I'm sorry about that..."
"About what?"
"I know you're not yet ready to meet my parents. I want you to meet them but I want it well planned. It's okay though. It's just my dad," kwento niya pa. Nakinig na lang ako sa kaniya.
"You're close to him, right?" Base sa mga pictures nila na nakita ko ay close siya sa lahat ng member ng pamilya niya. Hindi ko rin nga masabi if mommy or daddy's boy siya dahil parang close siya sa dalawa.
He nodded. "Yup."
"Ba't parang kinakabahan ka kanina nung nakita niya tayo. Aren't you allowed to date?"
"Are we dating?" Naka ngising tanong niya at parang nang aasar pa. My brows furrowed.
"Hindi ba?"
"I mean this is a friendly date ba or are you seriously dating me na?!" Nanlalaki ang mga matang tanong niya. Tumigil ako sa paglalakad saglit at tinignan lang siya mula ulo hanggang paa. Manhid ba 'to o ano?
Sabagay, kahit iparamdam ko sa kaniya na gusto ko siya kung hindi ko sasamahan ng salita then it's really confusing. I should tell him soon. Naglakad ako deretso and then he started yapping again.
Nang makarating kami sa Charles and Kieth ay agad na akong nagtingin ng mga bags. Lahat naman maganda but I had to find something na magugustuhan ni Mira. I liked gifting people I'm grateful for. I'm grateful for her because she remained true to me.
I settled on a white sling bag. I noticed that Mira like sling over shoulder bags and she prefer white instead of black. I was waiting for the sales lady when I noticed Migo. Nakaupo lang siya habang nag cecellphone.
Lumapit ako sa kaniya at saka ko nakita na ineedit niya 'yung picture namin kanina sa booth. 'Yung pinicture-an niya sa monitor.
I sat beside him that made him turn off his phone. Nilagay niya 'yon sa bulsa niya and then he smiled at me. 'Yung nakakatuwa but at the same time ay nakakapikon kasi alam mong nang aasar siya.
"Do you have something to confess?" Nang aasar niyang tanong.
"Gusto mo mag walk out ako?" He chuckled before he shook his head.
I was about to pay for the bag when Migo stood behind me. He got his wallet out and then his card. Kumunot noo ko. Inisip ba niyang para sa sarili ko 'to.
"This is a gift for my friend," I said. Nakaangat na sa ere 'yung kamay niya dahil iaabot niya na dapat sa cashier. I got my bills then thanked the people there.
"Ano?" Seryosong tanong ko sa kaniya. Binalik niya 'yung card sa wallet.
"Thought that's for you..." Sabi niya habang naglalakad kami paalis.
"Why would you pay for my bag?" I asked while walking to wherever dahil hindi ko alam next naming gagawin.
"Because I can—"
"And I can't?"
"What? No! That's not what I mean..." mahinahong sabi niya.
Hindi ako sanay na may nagbabayad para sa gusto ko unless magulang ko. It's my parents responsibility anyway.
"Where do we go?" I asked Migo while almost pouting. It's just three in the afternoon. At nakakapagod maglakad dito.
Migo got the paper bag from me. Wala na akong hawak other than my phone because he's also holding my shoulder bag. Iniisip ko kung tama pa ba 'to, e? Para ko siyang yaya.
"What do you want?" Malambing niyang tanong. I shrugged because I seriously don't know. "Okay, let's go," sabi niya bago hinawakan braso ko at ginaya ako sa paglalakad.
"Pagod na ako mag lakad," pag inaarte ko sa kaniya. Ngumiti naman ang loko.
"Don't worry, you'll rest your feet there." Hinayaan ko na lang siyang kaladkarin ako until we reached the cinema.
"Stay here," sabi niya pero hindi ako pumayag. He paid for our lunch and I know that—that's expensive and I only got him a frozen yogurt.
"No, it's okay. Ako na," pagpupumilit niya.
"I'll pay. You got our lunch. I got this."
"No, it's just tickets and snack. Ako na—"
"Wag na tayong lumabas next time," naiinis na sabi ko at doon lang siya nanahimik.
"What movie?" I asked him. Tahimik lang siya habang ngumunguso na akala mo batang hindi napagbigyan. Hindi niya ako sinagot.
Gosh! Iñigo Miguel you're so cute... but annoying... sometimes.
Binili ko na lang 'yung latest movie. Bahala na. I got us popcorn and soda too. Alam ko namang siya lang din ang uubos nito.
"Let's go," I called him but he stayed on where I left him. He was like a post in the ground. I shook my head. "Let's go!" I hissed in a very low tone voice. He side eye me but remained there.
I took a deep sigh. "Let's go na. Help me with these, please?" I said at pinakita sa kaniya 'yung malaking popcorn and soda kong hawak.
Mabilis naman siyang lumakad papalapit sa akin at kinuha 'yon kahit na dala niya pa mga gamit ko. I can carry that... I can seriously carry my things but this guy... goal niya ata maging yaya ko.
Hindi ko alam kung nagtatampo ba talaga siya or nagiinarte lang. I just need to be a little sweet to him and I'm sure he'll start yapping again.
May mga kasama naman kami here. The cinema here's premium so it's good. I got my phone and opened the camera.
"Migo, look here," I said at lumapit pa sa kaniya. Agad naman siyang lumapit sa akin at ngumiti. I clicked so many times pero iisa lang ang pose ko while Migo did a lot. He smiled differently and raise his thumb for the 'thumbs up' pose he always do, and then he pinched my nose.
And just like that, he started yapping about lots of random things again.
The movie began so I watched it intently. I needed to watch lots of movies so I'll be more familiar with everything around this industry... I also want to discover what do I really want. What kind of movie I want to produce? Where do my heart belong in this industry.
And just like what I foresaw, Migo ate almost all of it. Wala naman problema sa akin, basta kakain siya ng dinner. Hinayaan ko na lang kasi hindi ko alam if naka diet ba siya o hindi. At kung dinadaya niya diet plan niya ng coach niya, hayaan ko na lang. Minsan lang naman.
"Did you understand the concept of the movie?" Tanong ko sa kaniya pero umiling lang siya. At least honest.
"Dad said let's just meet him at the restaurant one hour from now." I nodded. We walked around the mall until we settle to sit down.
"He's just buying something then ilalagay niya sa car. He's going back home in Laguna later, he was asking me if I want to come but I told him I need to study pa e."
I threw a glance at him, he looked serious yet I know he's longing for his mom. He can't go home every weekends because of the demand and pressure from his program plus his training. Sometimes, if he can ay umuuwi siya pero hindi madalas.
He grew up with his mom around every single day. It's understandable that he miss her.
"Why does your dad stay here?" I asked because I was really curious. I never got the chance to ask him more about his parents because I wanted him to open up without asking him. I always ask about him since I was more interested about him.
"Work. His work demands him to be here. He lives here in Rockwell every weekdays. But you know? Even though he spend most of his time in the metro, kapag namiss niya kami, sususugin niya talaga ang traffic just to see us in Sta. Rosa." I was listening to him attentively... while I watch his expression.
"My parents really loves each other that's why... my mom let my dad stay in metro while we stay in the province."
"Why do you need to live in Laguna when you can live here?" I genuinely asked.
He stared at me before he smiled, it was a smile he doesn't usually use... is something wrong?
"It's safer there."
'Yon lang ang sinabi niya at hindi na ako nagtanong pa. They are rich, they can live in a high secured subdivision here. I'm sure they are living in a secured high-end village in Laguna. Pero he's right naman... magulo ang Manila.
Migo's dad texted him so we started walking to the restaurant his dad was waiting. We entered Mamou too. Nakita ko na agad ang daddy ni Migo. He was reading something on his phone, he's wearing eyeglasses na and he really look like the daddy in teleserye who's serious, rich, successful, and overprotective.
"Dad," bati ni Migo and then he hug his dad a little. I just stood there. Tumayo naman ang daddy niya. Hindi ko alam gagawin ko kaya nag bless na lang ako.
Nahihiya ako... hindi naman kasi ako lagi nag bbless. Kanino naman ako magbbless sa Laguna? Sa mga extended relatives namin? Nah, wag na lang. But it kinda saddens me that I did not grow up in polite and calm clan.
His dad smiled at me. He told us to take our seat and order whatever we want.
"Deanna, right?" Agad naman akong tumingin sa daddy ni Migo. Magkatabi kami ni Migo at nasa tapat namin siya.
"Yes po..." He nodded.
"I haven't heard much about you but I'm glad to meet you first," he said then smiled a little when he looked at Migo. Migo was already grinning.
"Mom will get tampo on us for sure," Migo commented. Naguguluhan naman ako pero hindi ako makapag salita o makapag daldal. This is something na naiinsecure ako. I'm not good with communication. Magsasalita lang ako tuwing kinakausap ako o tuwing kailangan ko.
Unless hindi kita ka close, hindi kita kakausapin.
"So, I heard you're taking FILM at B&A?"
I gently nodded my head. "Yes po." Tumango naman siya. I held Migo's hand that was resting on his lap. He looked at me at nagtataka. I let out a small smile at him. He nodded then talked to his dad about random things.
I really appreciate the fact that even though his father seemed so strict and quiet, he tries to talk to me... to have a small conversation. Migo asked him about his week and he answered something related to his work. They asked each other about their whereabouts. Migo ranted a lot about oblicon but his dad just chuckled on him.
"I can tutor, son. Just ask me."
"You're very busy. I'm already done with the sem and you're still busy with your cases," Migo joked. His dad just shrugged at him that made Migo chuckled more.
So base on their conversation.. Migo's dad is a lawyer? prosecutor? judge? They are bringing me to the conversation from time to time. Okay na 'yon kesa ako lang ang kausap o topic. Baka mahiya ako nang sobra.
"Let me take you two a picture. I'll send this to your mom. Is it okay, hija?" Tumingin siya sa akin at agad naman akong tumango. He took us a picture so I smiled a little.
"Your mom said try to visit her tomorrow. Lunch."
Migo just nodded.
"I'll see, dad."
Nang matapos kami ay sabay sabay kaming lumakad palabas. Parehas silang matangkad at sobrang magka muka. Migo was holding my hands as we walk. I don't know if ganon ba siya ka close sa daddy niya at hindi siya nahihiya maging PDA.
"Take care," sabi ng dadd ni Migo. Tumingin siya sa akin at ngumiti ulit. "It's such a pleasure to finally meet my son's—"
"Dad!"
He chuckled. "Anyway, just call me Tito Atlas. Nice to finally meet you, Deanna. Take care."
I politely bade my good bye and so did Migo. His dad even reminded him to call his mom before he sleep as if Migo forgets about that. He never forget calling his mom every night... he also never forget texting his mom good morning.
I was watching Migo as we walk towards the parking. He's so focused on walking, medyo himala na he's not yapping. I think he's very tired today and thinking on how he can skim his lessons tonight so he could go home in Laguna tomorrow.
"Deen," he whispered. Nilingon ko siya with my questioning look. He smiled a little.
"Are you tired?" Malumanay na tanong ko because of course I'm concerned. He gently nodded then took a deep breath.
"Thinking about the lessons I need to advance? Yes. I'm already tired." Hindi ako sumagot. Hinintay kong ituloy niya ang sasabihin niya.
"You know I miss them. If I can only visit them every week, I'll do that pero I don't know? Accountancy is kind of draining me with all the pressure I hold. No body's pressuring me though.. it's just me. I pressure myself." He smiled then chuckled but it was not the smile and chuckle I'm used to.
I stopped walking and he did the same. We're still in Rockwell. The city lights were very comforting for me and I hope it somehow comfort Migo. I held his hand tighter. He smiled at me. Nakayuko siya ngayon dahil masyado siyang matangkad para sa akin.
I'm not that good at comforting. Heck, I don't even know how to properly comfort myself when I'm not okay. I'm just used to sabotaging myself all the time.
I swallowed the lump on my throat and looked at him with my palpable eyes.
"I'm sure they're proud of you.." I paused for a while because I want to be sensitive to him. He was nothing but sensitive and caring of me. I want to make him feel secure with me.
"I don't know the reason why you're doing that— pressuring yourself. But you have to remember that whatever you achieve, your parents will love it because they love you."
We sat on the bench. He was just looking at me looking so cute. He may look like a bad boy because of his strong facial features, his smiles and over all aura makes him a sunflower. He's always smiling and soft.
"That felt so nice to hear from you.." I rolled my eyes so he chuckled once again.
"I just want to give them something great because they gave me everything I needed and wanted. They love me so achieving more will be my little present for them. And I just can't help to study more kasi ito 'yung passion ko e. I love fencing and studying."
"Ayokong bumabagsak ako dahil I slack off. Maiintindihan ko 'yung babagsak ako dahil hindi ako nag-aral nang maayos kahit na may pagkakataon akong ayusin. I can accept failures but I want to fail knowing that I did my best."
"They're proud of you," I smiled at him. "I'm sure of that. And if they know that you're pushing yourself too much, ano sa tingin mo mararamdaman nila?"
Hindi siya sumagot at hinayaan ko lang siya. He didn't have to answer my question kasi he just need to know it sa sarili niya.
Migo's the sunshine and kind type of guy. He's very hardworking, I always see him work so hard for everything he wants to achieve. When he told me he's aiming for something, he really studied so hard to get the highest score. I've heard that Migo's the teachers bet in his program. He's already famous in SLIU dahil one time ay masyado siyang pinuri ng sikat na prof.
Some teachers are pushing him to run for the student council but he declined. He told me he wants to focus on his acads and fencing. May orgs naman daw siya at ayos na 'yon.
I can't wait to see him succeed in life. He fucking deserve that.
And I hope I'm still with him when that moment arrives.
Migo drove me back to my condo. He kissed the top of my head before he let me get inside the building. We're really acting like a real couple and I don't care. If he does something I don't like, I'd simply cut him off...
Or talk to him about that.
Naligo ako pagkadating at nagsimula na ulit sa ginagawa. Nag zoom call kami ng ka group ko because of one group project in Documentary. Nakita ko namang nag vibrate ang cellphone ko pero hindi ko agad 'yon tinignan because it's either my mom or Migo. Silang dalawa lang naman ang araw-araw kong nakakausap.
"Deanna and Lou kayo na ang bahala sa script, 'yung mga questions and flow ay ayusin niyo agad. I'll send you the info about sa iinterviewhin natin and ang topic sa documentary. Please make some research na rin about the place of this.."
Sabi ni Romania at pinakita 'yung place and about sa documentary namin. I already saw that dahil nung sinabi ni Sir ay agad akong nag research. I nodded at her then immediately reached out on Lou.
When the Zoom call ended, I checked my phone. It was Migo. I answered his call after I told him that he can call me na.
"Done facetiming your mom?" I curiously asked habang naghahanap sa YouTube ng documentary na kagaya ng gagawin namin para magkaroon ako ng idea sa mga ganon. Para lumawak 'yung imagination ko.
"Yup. What about you?"
"She's probably still on duty."
"I'll be in Laguna tomorrow." I nodded at what he said while still focus on my laptop. "I'll sleep rin because I've thought about what you said earlier. My mom would want me healthy and alive than successful but worn out."
"Okay," maikling sagot ko habang nag aadd sa playlist ng iba ko pang pwedeng panoorin mamaya.
I heard him chuckle kaya nilingon ko saglit ang iPad ko.
"What?" I asked with my forehead creasing. He beamed then shook his head.
"Do you wanna home with us? Nagseselos si mommy e. Na-meet ka na raw agad ni dad pero siya hindi." Tinignan ko siya. Seryoso lang siyang nakatingin sa akin habang hinihintay sagot ko.
I really love his aura, kahit seryoso siya ay alam mong mabait at kalmado. Bakit kapag ako seryoso parang lagi akong mang aaway.
Migo's wearing white t-shirt at basa pa 'yung buhok niya. May towel pa nga sa balikat niya e. Naka upo siya sa study chair niya dahil kita ko 'yung kama niya sa background.
"You want me to meet your mom after I met your dad today?" Seryosong tanong ko. Marahan naman siyang tumango at parang kinabahan sa tanong ko.
"Why? Am I your girlfriend?" Nang aasar na tanong ko. Ganti ko 'to sa kaniya sa mga pinang aasar niya sa akin kaninang umaga.
Instead na sumimangot ay agad siyang ngumiti at tumawa. Tinuro pa ako na parang nang-aasar. "Wait lang po. Alam ko namang crush mo ako at gusto mo akong ligawan. Wag muna. May time para dyan, no? Hindi porket crush kita ay bibigyan agad kita ng free pass na maging lover ko nang hindi ako nililigawan."
Tumatawang sabi niya. I know he's just joking because saan naman nakuha ng kakapalan ng muka niya mag-isip na gustong-gusto ko siya? Sana lang ay okay siya. Hindi ako tumawa o ngumiti. Instead, I made a face para alam niyang napipikon na ako. Lalo namang tumawa ang loko.
"Matulog ka na," sabi ko at mabilis siyang pinatayan ng tawag. Sunod sunod naman ang text niya. Joke lang daw at makipag call na ulit ako sa kaniya pero hindi ko siya pinansin. I-ooff ko na sana ang notification ng phone ko when my best friend called me.
I answered the call and his bored face welcomed me. He's wearing a hoodie at mukang nasa kwarto na niya siya.
"Ano? Tawag nang tawag," mataray na sabi ko.
"Kapal? Sino ka para tawagan ko nang tawagan?" Masungit na reply niya. I smiled a little then rolled my eyes.
Aidan has become more matured now. Well, ilang taon lang kami nung huli ko siyang nakita. He's my best friend in high school and we were in a real platonic relationship. I never had a crush on him and he'd rather die than to like me.
We hated each other because we both got each other's temper and attitude. I somehow believed that he just me... in different body and name.
I was never close to any of my sisters. I do have friends but I'm not the favorite one. But with Aidan? He may act like a total jerk to me but I'm sure that I am his best friend. That even if we go for months without contact, we are still each other's best friends.
"Ano na? Go tell me about that guy," he said as he sip on his coffee. I shook my head that made him frown. I don't want to tell him more. I already shared few things about Migo to him. Ayoko na munang dagdagan.
"You're being secretive now. You're not my friend. The fuck, who are you? Bring out my real friend—"
"Bobo ka tangina manahimik ka!" Napipikon na sabi ko. Ano ba at napikon ako agad.
"Gago ka rin tanginamo," rebut niya pa.
I saw Migo texting me, he sent an update that he's studying.
Migo:
i'll study for awhile then sleep later. I'm sorry for earlier.
i'm really sorry.
mom really wants to meet you but don't worry about it. i'm sorry if na-pressure ka o ano. just know that i'm not pressuring you with anything.
i'm honest with my feelings with you and i'd like to keep our thing safe and healthy.
there's a perfect time for everything.
i'm really sorry, deen. bati tayo, ha? hindi tayo makakapag kita sa monday kaya please wag ka na magtampo. mabigat sa loob.
i'll make it up to you.
good night :)
your crush,
Migo
Wala na akong nagawa kundi ngumiti na lang. Hindi naman ako na-pressure. Gusto ko lang malinaw sa kaniya kung anong meron sa amin. Gusto ko naman 'kung anong mayroon sa aming dalawa e. Okay lang din sa akin ma-meet parents niya pero magiging unfair 'yon sa kaniya dahil hindi ko siya mapapakilala sa mga relatives ko.
Masyadong toxic relatives ko at hindi naman sa kinahihiya ko mga ka-dugo ko pero ayokong bigyan sila ng masyadong access sa buhay ko.
Hindi naman siguro ako masama dahil 'to desisyon ko.
Aidan and I talked about lots of things. I'm grateful that we got the chance to talk kasi laging 'tong busy e. Ever since he got two job, ganan na siya. Hindi na nagpapahinga. I understand that he has other priorities na dahil mas maaga siyang nagkaroon ng responsibility kesa sa akin.
I'm so proud of him. Looking back? He has matured a lot. He's doing everything to help his siblings who are still in the Philippines. He's been nothing but a good son to his father.
"I met his dad..." pagsisimula ko ng panibagong topic. Ngumisi naman siya sa akin bago umiling.
"Alam kong one day magkakaroon ka ng boyfriend pero hindi ko inexpect na ganito ka-aga. Akala ko mga after college pa. Buti natitiis niya kamalditahan mo." Natatawa pa siya sa akin.
So who's gonna tell him? That I'm not that maldita towards Migo. Hindi ko kayang magsungit sa kaniya at maging sobrang tigas kung paano ako sa ibang tao.
Si Migo 'yon, e.
Softie.
I hated the fact that I am different towards Migo but at the same time.. I tolerate myself with it. I know that Migo just a human who can hurt me. He can take advantage of me. He can definitely judge me. He can get tired of me and leave me all alone.
I'm scared because I don't want that. I hate getting let behind so I usually the first one to leave the friendship.
But with Migo?
Gosh! Stop it na. Ang dami na niyang free pass sa akin.
"Basta.." Aidan paused. "He if hurt you, tell me," he said in a palpable voice. He was seriously looking at me just like how he looked at me before when I tried to end everything. It was like he was reminding me that if I get hurt, he's just here... for me.
I nodded at him. "Bakit? Uuwi ka rito? Sasapakin mo?" tanong ko dahil nung high school ay may inaya 'tong pitong lalaki ng suntukan kasi pinaiyak 'yung ka-mu niya.
Tarantado talaga.
We finished talking at exactly 3:30 AM. I checked my phone and saw that Migo replied to my message. 'Yung reply ko sa chat niya kanina. I told him na hindi ako na-pe-pressure o ano at mas lalong hindi ako galit.
Hindi ko kayang magalit sa kaniya nang matagal. Parang napipikon lang ako pero ilang segundo o minuto lang 'yon dahil hindi ko siya kayang tiisin.
Oo alam ko... pwede niya akong saktan pero bahala na.
Bahala na talaga.
Me:
good night again kasi matutulog na ako. just finished talking to my best friend.
good morning na lang when you wake up. and ingat ikaw sa pagmamaneho.
I was about to really fall asleep pero I remember Migo asking me if he can post me on his story kanina. Mabilis ko ulit binuksan ang cellphone ko para tignan story niya.
It was a good post. I really liked Migo's taste in editing and posting.
I couldn't help but smile so hard while looking at his post. It was our picture in the korean photo booth, 'yung final layout na nasa monitor na pinicture-an niya kanina.
What makes my heart flutter even more was his choice of music. Sanctuary of Joji. I smiled so hard while staring at the picture and his words on it.
the 'friendly date' after a hectic and tiring week :)
******
Hi! I don't usually proofread my chapters before I publish it so I am really sorry for the grammatical errors and typos. I'll edit them once I have enough time to do so.
Thank you so much!