Content warning: body dysmorphia/self esteem issues and internalised racism
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Princess Amanda tried her best to stay still as Brina – her maid-in-waiting – helped her put on her gown over the corset. It was a simple garment, compared to some of the others that Amanda owned. It was almost blindingly white, contrasting starkly with Amanda's darker skin. Elegant patterns had been sewn into the bodice in silver and the long sleeves were puffed at the end. The gown flowed all the way to the floor, covering all of her body.
Amanda watched as Brina put on the heavy, dark cape over the gown. It had the royal family's emblem – a roaring lion golden on a red background – marked into the clasp. The cape was mandatory for her to wear as the princess. The attire provided Amanda with quite a bit of warmth so she did not mind its heaviness for once.
Hilde, her other maid-in-waiting, caressed her hands through Amanda's hair and started to braid it. Amanda could imagine Hilde's thin, pale hands weaving through Amanda's dark, wispy hair.
Amanda disliked her hair quite a bit; she had failed to inherit either of her parent's good traits. Her father, the king, was an intimidating figure and carried an air of authority around himself. On the other hand, the queen was slender and strikingly beautiful.
And here Amanda was, boyish and ungraceful; unfit for a princess.
"So, Princess," Brina interrupted her thoughts, "Today is an exciting day for you."
Her voice was bright and cheerful, as it usually was.
Amanda sighed, she hated being reminded of how special today was meant to be.
So she forced a smile and said in the most cheery voice she could muster, "Yes, I'm quite looking forward to meeting my suitor."
Brina must have understood that she was not in the mood for conversation because she did not say anything further. Both Brina and Hilde were good at reading Amanda since they'd known her for quite a few years.
Everyone around her was excited about her suitor, a boy named Kyle. He was one of Amanda's cousins but she had never met him before; his parents preferred to stay secluded from the rest of the royal family. He was the only male in her father's bloodline, which is why he was her suitor.
Her parents had conceived Amanda at a very old age which meant that now, twenty-one years later, the king was almost at the end of his lifespan. He wanted there to be an heir to the throne before he died. Otherwise, neighbouring kingdoms would see his death as an opportunity to invade Vikingenes Rike.
Amanda had asked her father multiple times if she could be the heir. She really wanted to become the monarch at some point in the future. She had studied the laws of the kingdom meticulously since she was a child and always did her best to be involved in Vikingene Rike's affairs as much as possible. But as she had grown older her father had started to exclude her from meetings more and more often. He told her that as she grew into a lady she should start focusing on being more elegant and feminine – like her mother. And whenever Amanda broached the topic of becoming the monarch the king shut her down quickly. He told her that it would be best for the kingdom if she focused on being a caring wife to the future king – which would be Kyle.
Hilde finally finished braiding Amanda's hair and stepped back. Amanda turned towards her full-length mirror to get a good look at herself.
Hilde had separated her hair into two braids and pinned them both behind her head. Hilde approached her again, this time with Amanda's crown in her hands, and placed the crown on Amanda. It was a simple crown, with a few amethysts set between the patterns.
The white gown she was wearing made her shoulders look slender, although they were quite broad in reality. It gave her quite a desirable shape.
Amanda had always admired her maids-in-waiting's ability to make her look presentable all the time. They both did their best to bring out the prettier side of Amanda and she appreciated them a lot for it.
She smiled, a real smile this time. "Thank you both so much."
Hilde smiled back. "You are welcome, Princess."
Amanda was sitting in one of the castle's many rooms. This room was small and scarcely decorated. This was one of the rooms Amanda's father used to talk to his royal advisor. And, now, Amanda was waiting to meet Kyle here.
She was quite nervous about meeting him. She had never interacted with a boy who was around her age before; the heirs of the neighbouring kingdoms were all much older than her.
She wondered what he was like. Would he be like the rest of her extended family, entitled and hard to hold a conversation with? Or did growing up separate from them affect his personality?
She had to wait quite a while before Kyle actually came.
Brina and Hilde, who were with her, kept her company. They talked about their days with her as they waited for Kyle.
Amanda liked hearing about the everyday things that the two of them did. It reminded her that they had just as much of a complex and interesting life as herself.
Just as Hilde finished talking, the door opened. A tall, young man entered the room and held the door open for someone else. Amanda could tell he was one of the servants.
A boy entered the room and took a seat opposite to Amanda.
He was running his hands through his hair, Amanda assumed he was doing it to make it look a little less messy. He looked completely bedraggled. He was wearing a simple tunic with trousers.
But there was still something inherently handsome about him. With his fair hair and bright, sparkling eyes he looked a bit like those princes from the fairytales Amanda used to love as a child. Those princes had always been kind and gentle, Amanda hoped he was the same.
"I asked him to change clothes but he refused," the servant said with disapproval. He didn't say it to anyone in particular.
Most people in the royal family did not like Kyle and the servants had similar opinions. Kyle was the son of their 'least hinged' relatives, as Amanda's father had put it.
But the king was desperate enough for an heir to put his opinions to the side and allow Kyle to become the prince.
Kyle looked up when he heard Amanda walk in. "Oh, hi!"
He gave her a bright smile and waved.
"Hello," Amanda replied politely. She tried to think of a way to start the conversation, since from the looks of it Kyle wouldn't. "So, you're Kyle?"
"Yep!"
"It's nice to meet you, Kyle."
"Nice to meet you too." He gave his hair one final swipe and then brought his full attention to Amanda. "Your dress is very elaborate."
Amanda thought she heard a hint of judgment in his voice, but she wasn't sure. "Thank you."
"Do you usually dress like this?"
"Yes." She squirmed internally. She did not want to discuss her appearance; especially with a boy she had just met. "As the princess I'm expected to always look my best."
"Hmm," Kyle made a contemplative noise.
They sat there in silence for a bit. A part of Amanda wished that one of the servants in the room would say something to break the silence but that would not be proper etiquette.
Kyle seemed quite relaxed which only made Amanda more jittery. Why was she so nervous about this? Things were going perfectly fine but Amanda could not let go of her restlessness.
"You're quite handsome." Amanda decided to say, if only to break the awkwardness.
"Oh, thanks," Kyle said nonchalantly.
"So," Kyle started after a pause, "tell me about yourself?"
Amanda did. She told him about growing up as the princess and about her dislikes and likes.
They chatted idly for a while after that.
She found out that Kyle had grown up in one of the cities near the castle. That he would go out and spend time with the townspeople in his leisure. He told her about his friends, too.
It turned out to be quite easy to talk to Kyle. He did most of the talking, which helped Amanda not overthink everything too much.
Later on, as she lay in her bed at night, Amanda thought about how grateful she was that Kyle was a good person. She'd met one too many self-absorbed royals in her lifespan and Kyle seemed to be nothing like that.
She decided that she would be content with marrying Kyle; and with that reassuring thought, she drifted off to sleep.