"He's not perfect, but he's all I will ever want."
Eros Vandare
"Get him off of me." I grumble tiredly at her, not willing to open my eyes even though we've been arguing for almost half a fucking hour.
"He likes you Eros! Besides, he's just a baby." I hear the smile in her words as she leans forward and pets the cat.
God I love when she says my name.
Montague continues to need my bare chest and my body immediately tightens. Bella giggles and lays a swift kiss on my cheek in response.
"I will leave." I grumble again. Her addictive laugh reaches my ears and I pull her closer to me, needing to feel her against me.
"No you won't."
No I won't.
"And if you leave I will be all alone, in this big bed, by myself." She pouts and I open one eye to look at her miserable brown eyes. Dramatic ass.
"I like you better when you are sleeping." I grumble again, shutting my eyes once more as she groans loudly. She lays her head back down on my chest and her warmth fills my entire body.
I suddenly feel one of her soft fingers gently tracing the outline of my skull tattoo, sending a shiver down my spine, "well I like you better when you are being nice."
I like you all the time.
Her soothing scent fills my veins as I tuck my face into her dark hair, wanting to forget about every other thing in this world other than the feeling of her in my arms and the sound of her voice.
Because that's all I need in life. She's all I need in life.
I've always believed I was someone who was born to be alone. I wanted to be alone because being alone was the only way I could ever find any sense of peace. I have done everything alone since I was a terrified child, kicked out on the streets, and forced to fend for myself.
I was content with myself, my own thoughts, and I never desired anyone else. That was until all I could think about every second, of everyday, were a pair of glowing brown eyes and a breathtaking laugh that made even the stars themselves ashamed.
And now when I'm alone and without her, I feel like a piece of my own soul has been carved out from within me, leaving me a worthless shell of a person who has lost their sense of purpose.
I thought that the idea of finding 'the' person was some bullshit lie made up to comfort hopeless romantics so that they would believe that there was something out there to live for.
I've never had any interest in finding anyone, and honesty didn't give a fuck if I lived because there was nothing worth living for in this goddamned world. But then I saw her for the first time, and it hit me.
She is my person. To me she is every fucking person.
"You're pretty." I say, opening my eyes to look down at her, only to see her head already tilted up towards me.
She stares up at me with a growing smile on her flushed face, "feeling kind now darling?"
"Only for you."
She smiles brightly up at me, making a fire spark in my chest and my body feel weak beneath her gaze. If only she knew the power she had over me.
"You're pretty too." Her soft whisper fills the quiet air around me.
My pulse quickens into a raging drum as her warm gaze momentarily flickers down to my lips in a movement so slight, that if someone wasn't memorizing her every little action unlike me, they wouldn't have even noticed it.
Every bone in my body knows it's a fucking awful idea to be this close to her. She is the mafia heir and I am her bodyguard. It's forbidden.
Yet here I am, because I would break every fucking rule when it comes to her.
For months I spent my every breath fighting an internal war against myself to keep my distance from her and try to believe I hated her. The last thing I have ever wanted was to taint Arabella with my own darkness that is interwoven into my poisoned existence.
But when it comes to her, trying to stay away is like trying to not take your next breath. Your body won't let you because in the end, it's inevitable no matter how much you try to fight against it. It's like an alcoholic trying to resist just a sip of their kryptonite sitting within reach of them.
But for me it's not air or alcohol that dictate my life. It's Arabella Karve.
My weakness, my addiction, my obsession. Mine.
"You know you don't have to get me flowers all the time."
She glances over towards the white roses on her nightstand that I brought up to her room last night from the garden.
"I like seeing your face light up when I do."
She stares up at me in a state of almost shock, her soft lips parting open. Suddenly her brown eyes gloss over and her bottom lip slightly wobbles before she immediately hides her face in my chest.
"Are you crying Vita Mia?" I furrow my eyebrow while using one of my hands to gently tilt her head up towards me.
Shit what did I do wrong?
A tear falls down her flushed cheek as she sniffles, "I'm sorry, I don't know why I am being emotional."
"Did I say something wrong?"
"No, no. It's not you, you're perfect," another tear falls.
I hate myself because of the smile that plays at my lips.
"Don't smile at me," she cries with a soft giggle.
"I'm sorry," I smile while using my thumb to brush away one of her tears.
"I just- God I sound like an idiot."
She's perfect.
"No you don't, talk to me."
"I- it's just been a really long time since anyone has gotten me a gift for no reason," she smiles sadly and my chest tightens at the sight.
"What about your parents?"
She chuckles humorously, "I'm honored you think they've ever cared enough to get me a gift."
She has never received a gift from her parents.
"I sound so selfish," she shakes her head, "it's just the thought of it."
I brush a stay lock of hair from in front of her gorgeous face, "You don't sound selfish baby. You deserve fucking everything, and they're idiots for not spoiling you every goddamn day."
Im going to fucking kill them for ever making her feel this way.
She smiles softly as a tint of red spreads across her tear stained cheeks, "I love the flowers Eros."
"You better, because I am going to give you them every chance I get."
I plan on spending the rest of my life making sure she never feels uncared for again. And I will make sure she wakes up to flowers every morning so that she never forgets how fucking amazing she is.
She laughs softly and we fall into a comfortable silence as I just admire every fucking inch of her.
"It makes me sad sometimes knowing that you think you are a bad person, when in reality you are one of the most beautiful souls I have ever met."
My entire body stiffens at her words and a muscle feathers in my jaw, "You're wrong Bella."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm no beautiful soul or some misunderstood hero. I've done awful things for awful reasons."
I don't want her to think that I am someone I'm not.
"We've all done awful things," she whispers almost silently. "But I still think you are a good person who got a bad deck of cards."
"It's not an excuse for the things I've done."
"I know. But, I think you deserve to forgive yourself," she whispers.
My jaw slowly unclenches as I gaze down at her and the caring smile blossoming on her face.
"You're a beautiful soul Eros Vandrare, even if you don't believe it."
The only beautiful thing about me is the way she looks at me.
"Oh shit! I need to get ready!" She suddenly yells while beginning to sporadically scramble out of my arms.
"No," I immediately tighten my arms around her, not ready to let go of her just yet.
"Eros, I swear you are going to be the death of me."
꧁꧂
Arabella Karve
My professor rambles on about something to do with foreign affairs as I mindlessly stare in front of me. I yawn softly and vaguely glance over towards Hazel who is passed out on the desk, messy red hair scattered across everywhere.
I roll my eyes with a small smile before turning my head to the other side of me, only for my eyes to immediately lock with a pair of icy blue ones that are already staring directly at me.
I quickly glance over Eros as he carelessly lounges back in his chair with his legs slightly spread. His black turtleneck is loosely tucked into his black slacks and I push away the sensation that shutters within my core at the glorious sight.
His cold eyes are trained on me and I can't help but grin slightly, "do you need something?" I whisper quietly and he shakes his head with a small smirk.
"Then stop staring at me."
He shakes his head again, his eyes continuing to study every detail of me. I nervously bite my lip from his heavy gaze, and his eyes immediately lock on the movement. The cold ice held within them slowly darken, an unforgiving storm brewing within.
I narrow my eyes at him before looking away as heat begins catching within my body. I try to focus on whatever is being preached in the front of the classroom and not the undeniable tingles running down my spine as I feel his gaze burning into the side of my head.
God was the lemonade I drank this morning drugged?
I stifle another yawn while raking one of my hands through my blown out hair. Last night Eros couldn't come up to my room until almost 3am thanks to my father torturing him about some 'security questions'.
And all day, I once again had that itching and haunting anxiety that I was being watched. It had started in the last afternoon when I was reading in my bay window, I could have sworn something was staring up at me from the garden.
But when I looked out the window, there was nothing but the blooming plants and the mocking sight of my own reflection looking back at me.
I try to shove down the rising fear of how possible it is that Dominik is sending men to watch me, or he is watching me himself. Just like he did for all those years.
We have guards placed all over on the outside of the house, but Dominik is smart. Smarter than the guards, smarter than my father. Smarter than me.
How much longer do I have before he takes me?
My chest slightly tightens as the thought infiltrates my mind. I only have so long, and only I understand that fact.
I know I should tell Eros not only for my safety, but also for his. Because Eros is the only thing that stands between Domimik and his key to power.
But how would Eros respond? Would he look at me the same? Would he feel about me the same way he does now? Or would he hate me?
My heart races at the thought of admitting to him that it is my fault that my bestfriend is dead.
I don't even deserve the way he is treating me. I'm not worth it. I'm a monster.
"Arabella snap out of it! We're free!" Hazel's squealing snaps me out of my thoughts and I inhale sharply while looking over to her.
Breathe, I'm fine, everythings fine.
Except for the fact my inevitable fate is coming for me, and now the man I love is on the line.
The man I am in love with.
Fuck, I am in love with Eros Vandare.
"I gotta go though bae! I have a date with destiny, a.k.a the boy from the cafe!" She glows while pulling out some red lipstick and painting it onto her lips.
I have to tell him everything. It's not fair to him. And even though I know he doesn't love me back he deserves to know.
"No way he actually asked you out." I plaster on a fake smile and struggle to shove down the rising bile in my throat, "not that it's much of a surprise, you're a... delight."
"Damn right! And yes he did, it just took lots of convincing."
"Well I wish you luck I suppose."
I am in love with Eros Vandare. My bodyguard, the man who lays with me every night because I have nightmares, who buys me my favorite flowers that mean more to me than anyone will ever know.
The only person in the world who makes me feel like this is a world I want to live in.
"Don't give me your luck! Then I'll never get a taste of his latte." She grins, clearly proud of her little play on words.
"That's disgusting."
"Get it because you've never-"
"Hazle, leave before I put you 6ft under and you never get any 'lattes'."
"Love you too darling!" She giggles before grabbing her knitted bag and skipping away with an excited smile.
I roll my eyes with a small smile before looking up at Eros who is standing over me with a raised eyebrow.
"Don't ask," I warn as I feel my cheeks warm up.
A smirk spreads across his gorgeous features as he reaches out a hand to help me out of my seat, "latte?"
I place my hand in his, and shivers run down my hand at the feeling of his scarred hand against mine.
"My threat is still open for everyone, don't push my Vandare."
An alluring smile spreads across Eros's face, and my heart stops just as it did the first time.
Smile lines and dimples.
"You're right, I wouldn't want to miss any time with someone as lovely as you."
"You should smile more, it helps your face not look as bad when you're being such a dick."
"You flatter me, Vita Mia."
꧁꧂
After about thirty minutes of begging Eros to walk around downtown with me so that I could get some fresh air, and thirty minutes of him telling me all the reasons we shouldn't for the sake of my safety, I finally got an irritated "fine".
And after another hour of dragging him around town, and him keeping on his emotionless demeanor because of the amount of people hurrying down the busy sidewalks, Eros stares at me with an unamused expression while being drenched by the pouring rain.
"You really should have checked the weather! This is on you!" I yell over the deafening rain around us while crossing my arms, trying to shield myself from the cold rain as I laugh hysterically. Eros just glares at me as he shrugs off his black trenchcoat.
"You're an idiot," he says while placing his soaked jacket around my shoulders, but I don't miss the small dimple appearing in his cheek from the small grin.
"What a sweetheart," I tease, causing him to roll his eyes while carefully moving my hair out from under the jacket.
I softly reach up towards him with a small smile, and wipe a lock of his dark wet hair away from his forehead.
"Let's go back to the car, I don't need you dying from hypothermia." He says before leaning forward and softly kissing my forehead.
"If I am that pathetic to the point where I die from rain, I probably should be killed off anyways," I grin.
"Shut up-"
A car suddenly drives by, cutting Eros off as it completely drenches us with the freezing water on the side of the road. I gasp as Eros smoothly pulls me into his chest and blocks me from the road, staring directly at the car with a clenched jaw, as if it was going to be a drive-by.
I glance down and see one of his hands tightly placed on the pistol that is slightly sticking out of his black belt . My lips part into a small smile as Eros keeps his eyes locked on the car, even as it disappears long from our line of vision.
"That right there is called a car, I promise it's not going to get you."
Eros reluctantly looks down at me while taking a shallow breath.
"Incase you forgot Bella, you still havent told me anything about the night you were hurt. So I have no clue who I am watching for," he says lowly, and I don't miss the slight sound of worry concealed in his voice.
I gaze up at him, searching his eyes, almost believing I am hallucinating, because I could have sworn I saw a look of hurt flash within them.
My expression softens, "I-," I purse my lips, "I will explain it to you.. soon."
A look of relief washes over his expression, "okay."
I smile at him before we quickly begin running back down the street to get back to the car as the heavy rain drenches every inch of us, and everything around. Everything blurs around me as we hurry through the storm and the remorseless cold bites at my pale skin.
One of the pretty buildings suddenly catches my eye, and I slow down for a second to admire the small patio in front of it, where the faint sound of music stands out from the rain. Fairy lights are wrapped around the pillars, softly lighting the beautiful structure and I can't help but stare.
A small ensemble stands on the patio, under the cover, peacefully gifting music to what seems like the rain itself.
Just as I am about to continue, Eros stops as well, staring straight at me as I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, "What are you doing?!" My yell breaks past the rain as I stare at Eros who has a small smile tugging at the corners of his perfect lips.
"We never got to dance that night!" I hear his deep voice ring out, the sound combining with the storm like a heavenly fate.
The rain continues to worsen as the sound of thunder cracks through the dark sky, "And?!"
Eros reaches out a hand towards me, saying nothing as I place my hand in his. He pulls me towards the patio and I purse my lips as we step onto the simple platform and the ensemble continues playing their gentle music. Eros pulls me flush against his solid body, placing one of his hands on my lower back, and keeping his other intertwined with mine.
He stares down at me as I place my hand on his broad shoulder and stare up at his soft smile, that has come to feel like my home.
"You're telling me you dance?" I laugh in amusement.
"I haven't a day in my life."
"Honestly I'm not surprised, it doesn't seem like something you would usually do."
We begin mindlessly swaying to the music, no exact rhythm, yet our bodies move together in such a perfect flow it is more captivating than any trained and practiced dance.
My entire life, every move has been a flurry of practiced steps and movements, no matter how much I have tried to break free of them. I had accepted a long time ago that I would be stuck in the repetitive cycle forever.
But then Eros.. Eros is the only thing in this world that breaks me free from all those planned steps, sweeping me off my feet every time.
"There is a lot that I don't usually do that I would for you."
I am in love with him.
I smile and feel heat stain my cheeks along with the rain. I lay my head against his chest as we fall into a peaceful silence, listening to the music and basking in just the feeling of each other.
"That night sucked," I randomly say, thinking back to the ball and the night me and Eros fought.
He hums in response while caressing the skin of my lower back with his thumb.
"And Dimitri-" I begin before suddenly being cut off by Eros's grip tightening.
"I don't want to hear you say another man's name right now," he says darkly.
I can't stop the butterflies that flutter in my stomach.
I roll my eyes but smile softly, "you're a drama queen. I was just going to tell you that his dancing is nothing compared to yours."
I am in love with him.
A gorgeous, deep laugh breaks from Eros's throat and I tilt my head up to look at him, wanting to admire the sight as much as possible.
"I know."
꧁꧂
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