Conor
I woke up around noon to a persistent knock on the door.
Who the fuck is it? Only a few people know my new address.
I open the door and see a tall girl looking at me like she's deciding on her next meal.
"Hi Connor"
What the fuck? How does she know my name? Did I fuck her? I don't remember her face at all but I've been drunk for the past few months so...
"I'm sorry, do I..."
She interrupts me.
"You don't. Man, you're a snack! She said you were hot, but with Charlie, you never know"
Oh, so she knows Charlie. I'm not getting a fuck of what's happening right now.
"So... are you a friend of Charlie?"
"I'm her best friend" she says proudly "And today is her birthday."
"Oh, ok..." Still weird that she's here, telling me this.
"Ok, so I'm planning a surprise party tonight at her house. And I would like you to come."
"Are you sure?" I ask. Is this a prank?
"I know you guys got a rough start but it's time to kiss and make up" I widen my eyes in surprise at that sentence and she smiles "So please, come to the party tonight. Kay?"
I thought for a few seconds, but the truth is that I have nothing better to do. Or rather, I have, but I don't feel like doing anything.
"Ok, I'll be there" I replied, getting ready to close the door, but she continued to stare at me with a curious face.
"So... I have a hunch and I'm going to act on it" she says with her hands on her hips "Charlie can be a little cranky sometimes, but when you unwrap all that paper, you're going to be overwhelmed. In a good way, of course"
She says and then disappears down the stairs.
*
When I come home after Charlie's party, I take a long time falling asleep, thinking about her.
I always loved fucking since I was old enough to know what to do with my cock, but I've never really dated. I never even noticed if the girls I dated were interesting enough, because the only thing I noticed was If they had nice tits and a good ass to grab on.
Yet, I've known Charlie for a few weeks, and I've wasted more time thinking about her than any other girl I've fucked. In fact, whenever I see her, she gets stuck in my brain for some reason. And it's not just because I want to fuck her, which I fucking do. A lot.
But it's more than just that. She teases and challenges me and I love our conversations that feel like a tennis match, only sexier.
I know that if I'd fuck her just once, the "spell" would be broken. But Charlie doesn't seem like the casual fuck type and then it would be weird since we're neighbors and we see each other every day.
Also, I could never give her more than that. And I don't want to. It's better if I keep my dick away from her, not least because I don't need more drama in my life right now.
I'm about to fall asleep when I hear someone arguing. It comes from the house next door. My pulse quickens when I realize it's Charlie. Our walls are thin enough to take away all the privacy.
What the hell is going on? Is she with someone? Is she in danger? I get up from the bed and lean against the wall but all I hear is her voice and I realize she's crying.
Fuck, why is she crying? And on her birthday...
I think she's arguing on the phone with someone, so she doesn't really need my help. But there's no way I'm going back to sleep right now.
I have to know if she's okay. After all, that's what any neighbor would do.
I walk out of my apartment and across the hall to knock on her door. I look at the watch on my wrist and realize it's one a.m. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to knock on someone's door at this hour. But I hear her footsteps, so there's no escaping now.
She opens the door and looks surprised to see me. She also looks devastated, as if she's just received bad news. Her eyes are red and swollen from crying.
"I'm sorry, this is weird" Good fucking point, Conor "But I heard you yelling, and I thought it would be better to see if you were ok"
She looks at me for a few silent seconds and I realize immediately that I shouldn't have come. I'm invading her privacy and I would hate if someone did that to me.
But suddenly, she starts crying again and I feel terribly useless. Fuck. I approach her, because what the fuck am I supposed to do, and open my arms to hug her. I feel her trembling in the embrace and I press her body against mine. And I know that she's in pain but fuck... it feels good to have her in my arms.
I also want to make her stop crying. Watching her cry makes me feel like shit and I know why.
It's because that's what I felt whenever Sarah cried.
"Hey..." I take a step back to look her in the eyes and lift her chin, forcing her to look at me "Do you want to talk about it? It's ok if you don't. But maybe it will make you feel better"
What I say is a real cliche and I don't even believe it, because when I feel bad, I never want to talk to anyone. But I want to know what's wrong with her.
"It's just..." she starts talking, trying to control her breathing at the same time "I..." She brings her hands to her chest and breathes deeply. She repeats it a couple times, closing her eyes and I can tell something isn't right. Her face starts to turn red, and she goes inside the apartment, and I follow her, trying to understand what's going on. She opens a drawer in the living room and nervously messes things up.
"What's going on, Charlie?" I ask nervous, not knowing what to do.
"I'm ..." breath "I'm asthmatic and I can't remember..." breath "where I put the inhaler" she says slowly.
"What?" I rant "How come you don't remember?"
I break all the rules of good manners and start looking everywhere in her place for the fucking inhaler. I start getting more worried when I see Charlie stop looking and sit on the couch trying to control her breathing.
I go close to her and kneel between her legs, trying to get her to look at me.
"Charlie, come on. You have to help me. You really have no idea where it might be?"
"I'm trying..." breath "to remember... My house is a mess"
Yeah, no shit.
"Then, what can I do? Maybe I can run to the drugstore" I stand up, finally finding a purpose for my presence here.
"There's no time for that" she says and my pulse speeds up at her sentence.
"Please don't say shit like that"
I go to her room and start looking in the most obvious places. Bedside table, drawers, but nothing. Then I go to the bathroom and open all the cupboards. There are dozens of useless creams and shit, but not a fucking inhaler.
"Conor?" I hear her broken voice calling for me and I run to her.
"Yes?"
"The kitchen... I think is there" breath "In a drawer next to the fridge"
I run to the kitchen, and it takes me no more than five seconds to find the little thing. I run over to Charlie, kneel in front of her and bring the inhaler to her mouth. I finally let myself breathe too, relieved.
She has her eyes closed and slowly begins to control her breathing. I stay like that for a few minutes, not getting my eyes off her until she recovers. Her color returns to normal and she opens her eyes to me.
Fuck, I feel relieved.
"Are you feeling better?" I ask.
She nods, giving me a hesitant smile.
"Good. You scared the shit out of me"
"I'm sorry"
"It's okay" I say.
Except it's not. For a nurse, she's really irresponsible. I get up to sit next to her on the couch.
If I hadn't come, would she have been able to find the inhaler? Fuck, I don't want to think about what could have happened.
"Since when are you asthmatic?" I ask to break the silence.
"The crises started when my mother died. I was six"
Shit.
"I'm so sorry, Charlie" I don't know what it feels like to lose a parent, because I never really felt like I had one. But I know it must be close to the feeling of losing my sister.
"To be honest, I don't have that many memories of her, so... What I remember well is my father's sadness after her death. I used to pray at night that he would wake up happier the next day."
"Sounds like a really good reason to pray. Did it work?"
"Not really" she looks me in the eye "He remained devastated for a long time. Until one day he just started to smile again. I think I was the reason for it. It was just the two of us and I reminded him of my mother." She remains silent and then continues "He was always extraordinary, the best father in the world. I owe him everything."
"Does he live in the city?"
"No, my house is in the country, it's a small town called Greenplum. It's an hour from here. I usually go to visit him when I have two days off. It kills me that he's alone. I feel guilty all the time."
"You shouldn't. You're just living your life, building your future. I'm sure his biggest wish is for you to be happy."
She smiles.
"I know it is. I just wish he found someone; you know? I wanted him to be happy again"
"Why do you think that he's not?"
She looks at me like I've asked the strangest thing in the world.
"You cannot be truly happy without love."
I break our stare for a few seconds and go back to what brought me here.
"Is that why you were crying? Do you miss him?"
"Oh no. It was because of my brother... He's going through a rough time and... I just wish he would let me help him; you know?"
"Sometimes people prefer to get through things alone."
"Are you one of those people?" she asks.
"Yes" I admit.
"And you think you're doing a good job?"
"What do you mean?"
She seems to regret it shakes her head.
"It's nothing"
"Now you have to say it" I order.
"Well, like my brother, I can see you're kind of... lost" she says it apprehensive "I can tell that something has happened to you. Your heart is somehow broken. And broken hearts heal with love, not loneliness"
Is it so obvious that my heart is broken? How can she tell?
"I don't think I can be healed" I admit.
"Why is that?"
She looks at me with an empathy I've never gotten from anyone. As if she wants to know all my secrets, my pain. As if she wants to find the cure for all my problems. Like she's on a fucking mission. And I don't know why, I feel like, just this once, I can let my guard down.
"My sister died a year ago" I drop, reaching her eyes.
"Oh my God. Conor, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you're going through"
I take a deep breath because I don't want to say more. I don't like to talk about Sarah. It's useless because nobody can do anything about it. No one can make me feel better and no one can bring her back.
"It's been really hard. We were very close. She was my best friend."
"I'm so sorry" she says with new tears in her eyes
"Why are you crying?" I ask.
"I just... it must be awful"
"It is. But now I feel even worse, because I came here to comfort you and I'm the one being comforted."
And I certainly don't need her pity.
"It's ok, really. I needed the distraction" she says "And you pretty much saved my life so..."
We remained silent for a few seconds, and I start thinking that she probably wants me to leave.
"Do you work early?" I ask.
"No, tomorrow is my day off. I was actually thinking about watching a movie and opening a bottle of wine before that phone call. Do you want to watch it with me?"
"Yes, fuck it" I answer before the question hits my brain and then I realize I've agreed to see a movie with Charlie.
Yes, fuck it? Come on!
"Ok" she laughs and goes to the kitchen.
She comes back a few seconds later thoughtfully.
"Maybe wine isn't such a good idea." She blushes and I know what she's thinking. She's afraid we'll end up fucking our brains out because of the wine "Do you like popcorn?"
"That sounds great" I say.