Junior year was flying by. Soon adults were going to expect us to start making serious decisions and I didn't know what I wanted yet. All I yearned for was to stay frozen in time.
It was nearly December which meant it was starting to get cold and I was going to have to start bundling up.
I roll out of bed and dress myself in light blue skinny jeans, an over-sized grey crew-neck sweater with a long sleeve underneath, and some white Air Forces. I do my daily rituals, head downstairs to eat breakfast, then drag my sister outside into my boyfriend's car.
"Good morning," He beams forcing both Kaylee and I to roll our eyes grumpily, "It is way too early for you to be this happy. Relax." He huffs starting to drive while tapping the steering wheel.
"When I'm in a bad mood, I'm a Debbie downer. When I'm in a good mood, I'm too happy. I can never win with you." I smile at his complaints taking one of his hands off the steering wheel to hold it while he drove.
"At least you know." He smirked and started to rub small circles on the back of my hand.
We arrive at school and I notice everyone standing outside. We exit the car and I give Kaylee a kiss on her head before sending her to her building. It was extremely windy outside making it colder than I expected.
I held Jayden's hand comfortably as we strolled towards our solidified friend group consisting of Maya, Maddie, Ryan, and Trevor. Recently it became somewhat of a group of couples since after a few weeks of talking, Trevor asked Maddie out on a few dates, and after a few weeks of reminiscing, Maya told Ryan he should cut the bullshit and just be her boyfriend. Honestly Maya carried some big dick energy and I respected it, my confidence was nothing like hers.
I cringe as a wave of wind hits my face and wondered why the school doors weren't open and everyone was being forced to wait outside in the frost.
"Hey guys." I tried to keep my teeth from chattering so they wouldn't call me dramatic.
"Hey." They greeted us one by one with shivers of their own. Jayden had only a thin sweater on, probably assuming we wouldn't be outside long enough for him to get cold.
When the wind started being relentless, he put his hands and arms under my sweater pressing his freezing skin against my warm one.
"Jayden your hands are cold," I whine trying to nudge him off. "I know. That's why I'm using you to warm them up." I could only roll my eyes and flare my nostrils at his idiocy.
He moves so he was directly behind me, hands under my sweater, arms wrapped around me. "Does anyone know why we're locked outside?" I question starting to shiver, actually glad that Jayden was holding onto me and partly sharing his body heat.
"It's chaos week," He automatically answers. We all focus on him in bewilderment waiting for an elaboration. He sighs getting ready to explain.
"Teachers have a set number of meetings they have to go to throughout the year. Other schools, smarter schools, spread it out so they only have a few teachers missing at a time. Our very special school sends them all away at the same time, filling the school with substitute teachers for a week." We all react differently to the thought, but I couldn't help focusing on the other kids freezing to death around us.
"You remember right Cortez?" I was the only one who ever went to this school besides Jayden so I should know, "No, my mom always kept Kaylee and me home for the week." He nods before placing his head in the crook of my neck, hiding his face in my hair for more protection from the chill.
"Okay but why "chaos week"? I'm sure the substitute teachers will keep us in line, right?" Maddie inquired with genuine confusion. "It's usually chaos, nobody goes to the right class and there's not enough administrators left to care. Plus everyone starts doing really crazy shit, last year they had a blunt rotation of like ten people in the middle of gym. Couples go wild with the PDA, even the quiet kids act out." I grumble feeling increasingly sick and tired of this school, at least at the foster home people actually gave a shit about learning.
The doors finally open and everyone cheers. "Thank god." I mutter still shivering, Jayden kisses my cheek before releasing his hold on me. I felt extra cold now that I didn't have his warmth.
We flood inside and the bell instantly rings erupting a synchronized groan from the student body.
"Well at least we don't have to go to class today."
"Are you insane? Or course we have to go to class." Maddie nagged with an overbearing and almost overwhelming goody goody aura about her. It was evident she'd never rebelled in her life.
"Maddie nobody goes to class, that's the joy of this week." She begins to bite her lip nervously and I could sense her hesitation.
We decided to hang out in a nearby English classroom since it wasn't as packed as the ones farther into the school.
Walking in we spot a variety of students that didn't belong to the class and different friend groups scattered around. The back corner of the room was filled with couples sitting on or near each other while the rest was crowded with kids being rowdy and stupid. High school basically.
You could tell the substitute was extremely uncomfortable but wasn't going to do anything about the situation.
My friends fill the seats while I remain standing, trying to warm my body up.
The commotion in the classroom was nearly unbearable as people practically shouted over each other and showed no regard for the adult trying to bury his face in his phone to block us out.
Not long after, the substitute left saying he was going to grab the attendance sheet, and a well known senior couple barged in making noise and being gross. I was sure I looked about as uncomfortable as the substitute did trying to scurry away. High school usually wasn't full of obvious relationships, that's just a fantasy in a make-believe world. These were hookups, if even that, and there was no other way to put it. By Monday these people wouldn't even be looking at each other in the hallways and hopefully everything would go back to normal. Unfortunately, I go to a school the size of an ant hill in a small town so every one relationship felt multiplied.
"Cortez, you sure you don't want to sit on my lap? It seems to be the new trend." The group laughs at Jayden's joke but I knew it was his attempt to take my attention off the class seeing how awkward it was making me feel.
This had been one of the rooms with less rowdy teens before the second wave of students hit.
"I'm good."
"Jessica sit, you're making me nervous." Maddie demands, her foot bouncing as she exposed her obvious hate for skipping class.
I sit on top of the desk Jayden was occupying to make her feel comfortable, still wiggling my legs for warmth.
"How about we just skip school entirely?" Maya suggests trying to rile Maddie up. Maddie puts her head in her hands nearly hyperventilating, "Can you guys stop with the horrible ideas?" We all chuckle and Trevor rolls his eyes at his goody two shoes partner.
Another pair walks in practically undressing each other and I quickly recognize the girl as the one who wouldn't leave me alone.
"Holy shit she's like herpes, just never goes away." Maya and the boys nearly fell out of their seats cackling while Maddie remained focused on whether we would get in trouble or not.
"Mads, do you want us to hang out in your class so you technically won't be skipping?" I offer to which she instantly nods frantically. We all roll our eyes and oblige to calm our poor friend's nerves.
Walking out, the girl nearly slams into me still eating the mystery boy's face.
"Seriously?" She separates from him, fixating on me, about to respond only to be interrupted by Jayden forcefully dragging me out.
"She's not worth it."
"One of these days I'm gonna kill her." He chuckles putting his arm around me, "And I'll help you hide the body." I couldn't help but smile.
He could be cute when he wanted to be.
~~~
I was never happier to leave school than I was today. A day of dodging kids pulling pranks, smoking, and being all coupled up was stressful.
The girls asked their parents if they could sleep over while they boys asked if they could come to hang out. I was fine with everyone coming over but I was scared my house would turn into another episode of chaos week.
It was obvious that my closest friends weren't city girls or super into hookup culture, but they had no problem with public displays of affection and they weren't as reserved as me. I didn't grow up anywhere near affection, so it was odd for me, I only liked it in moderation and I especially hated witnessing it. I couldn't say the same for my romantic friends.
Jayden was driving us all over to my house since he was the only one who drove to school today, due to Maddie's adoptive father having to borrow her car, and the only way we could all fit was if Maya sat on Ryan's lap. This was the starting point of the unfortunate affection filled night.
I regretted looking in the rear-view mirror as soon as I witnessed the hormone infused teenagers in the backseat acting like the same teenagers we were making fun of at school, and I shook my head knowing it was going to be a long night— wishing I had denied their request to come over.
With a sigh, I lean forward to grab something from my book bag and Jayden immediately pushes me back, the car slowing at a red light. I look over at him confused, "Cortez if I would have braked hard, you would have slammed your head against the dashboard." I processed what he was saying and smiled in appreciation once I understood.
I loved the relationship I had with Jayden because I didn't have to sit on his lap and eat his face to know we cared about each other. Just him keeping me from banging my head on his dashboard was enough to let me know he cared.
He stops the car in front of my house but doesn't turn it off. The couples in the back seat exit but I turn to him for an explanation.
"You're not getting out?"
"I have to babysit Camila."
My eyes go wide as I look at him in horror.
"You're leaving me alone with them?" He tried to offer an encouraging grin, "You'll be fine." I shake my head frantically, "No. Please don't make me go." He threw his head back laughing but I was completely serious. If I would have known he was leaving me alone, I would have never agreed to this. I would be fifth wheeling all night.
"They're your best friends."
"Yeah, and they're like newlyweds. They're going to be attached to their boyfriends. Don't force me to be a fifth wheel. Bring Camila over and she can hang with Kaylee."
He sighs seeing I wasn't letting this go.
"Fine. Let me grab my sister." I scoff settling back in the seat, "We'll go together." He roars with laughter, amused by my reluctance to being left alone for even five minutes. I roll the window down to shout before we leave, "We'll be right back. You can knock if you want." They throw their hands up questioning where the hell we were going but I simply roll the window up with a smirk and sit back in my seat.
"You may drive." He shakes his head, taking his car out of Park to proceed to his house. We wait outside as he texts Camila to come out, I easily kick my shoes off and curl up in the seat thankful for his car heater.
Camila comes in distracted by her phone.
"So why are we going to Jessica's house?"
"Because she's obsessed and won't leave me alone." I scrunch my nose hitting his arm lightly causing him to smirk.
"Your brother wanted to leave me alone to be a fifth wheel to our friends."
"That's a dick move Jayden." His eyes go wide and I cover my mouth snickering. "So I'm the bad guy for taking care of you? Okay. Remember that next time your teacher tells you to call dad and you call me instead." She rolls her eyes as he nods triumphantly.
We arrive at my house again and I don't spot them outside so I assumed Maria had let them in. We step inside and find them all sitting at the dining room table eating after school snacks.
"They're eating all our food," Kaylee complains coming down the stairs, smiling once she sees Camila. "What are you doing here?" She grins in return, "My babysitter is being held hostage by his girlfriend." I roll my eyes as both girls giggle then migrate upstairs.
"Jess help me wrap these." My mom sets in front of me little gifts she was going to give to the some of the nurses she worked with. She was so nice it was mind blowing.
"Alright." I turn back to my friends, "You guys can go into my room if you'd like, don't break anything." They roll their eyes and all move in sync, rushing up the stairs with uneven laughs.
I honestly wasn't in the mood to chill with friends today, I wasn't in the mood to be social at all, I kind of just wanted to relax and bake early Christmas cookies with Maria. I was really starting to like her.
"Do you need me to stay with you?" Jayden asks mockingly with a smirk. I narrow my eyes at him before sitting on the bar stool, "No, you can go upstairs." And he chuckles turning to go up the steps at his own slow pace.
"What's wrong?" Maria questions me, noticing my sour mood before I even said anything. "Nothing. Just not feeling social today, but they wanted to hang out so." I shrug starting to expertly wrap the presents.
"Is there a reason you're not in your normal friendly mood?"
"No. Just tired. Long day."
She nods not pressing the issue, continuing to wrap. The kitchen smelled amazing because of her cooking and I noticed spices in different burnt colors and silver tools that reflected brightly under the kitchen lights.
"What're you making?" She smiles still focusing on the gifts, "Well I was going to make your favorite, mashed potatoes and my special chicken but I didn't know you were having friends over, so I had to quickly switch to pasta and meatballs." I pout, "Ughh.. Is there still time to send them home?" She chuckles shaking her head.
I finish my set of gifts and grab myself some chips before heading upstairs.
"Jess, you know I don't like you eating in your room."
"What? Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of my crunching."
I heard her attempting to stifle amusement but she failed.
Giggles echoed outside my room and I opened the door to witness Trevor whispering something in Maddie's ear in the midst of her laughing fit as Maya was playfully wrestling with Ryan, him blocking and pulling her in, distracted by his own chuckles. I spot Jayden leaning against my bed looking mildly uncomfortable.
I smirk and take a seat next to him on the floor.
"I now see why you didn't want me to leave you alone." I smirk mockingly as I opened my chips pleased. "So what are we supposed to do? Actually talk to each other? I didn't sign up for this." I choked on my laugh and he chuckled stealing a few of my chips.
My instincts picked up on the distinct sound of kissing and I looked over to see goody two shoes practically falling over as Trevor tackled her with his lips.
My eyes grow wide and I was immediately irritated.
"So.. uh.. Jayden. What's your favorite sport?"
"You know my favorite sport."
"..Uh.. um... what are your parents like?"
"You've met my parents."
I couldn't look away from the horror show. It was like witnessing a car crash, you want to sit there and stare at it even if it's horrible.
Jayden forcefully turns my head so I wasn't looking at them in disgust anymore.
"Hey, newlyweds remember? We're old. We're ancient. We've had our fun. They're cool kooky kids." His stupidity amused me but it didn't make me feel any less uncomfortable.
I was mildly confused because the relationship between Maddie and Trevor was much more fresh and I hadn't even known that they'd made it out of the talking stage yet.
The noises got louder and discomfort quickly switched to rage. "Cortez, don't—" I stand up and turn to them with narrowed eyes.
"ALRIGHT. Let's relax. My house is not a brothel just because my parents are more lenient than yours. They trust that I'm not doing anything stupid up here and you guys are not about to ruin that for me." They look over at me apologetically, "Now I invited you guys here to hang out, not watch you make children, so let's do something G rated." All four of them nod in agreement looking a bit embarrassed.
I sit back down finally able to take a deep breath and I hear Jayden snickering.
"Not funny." I immediately reprimand, which only made him laugh harder, "No of course not, you're just adorable." I roll my eyes and turn a movie on that we could all watch finally starting to feel better.
~~~
I'm jolted awake with the intense feeling of my head pounding. My vision was painfully blurred and it felt like I was moving so I demanded myself to get in focus as quickly as possible.
After a few seconds, I open my eyes and rub them a few times struggling to wake myself up. No matter where I looked it was dark and I'd never been more confused. I put my hands in front of me and felt some sort of curtain. I yank it back hesitantly and my eyes train on something that held the shape of a door.
I try to sit up but bang my head and instantly fall back cradling my sore skull with lids glued shut. If my headache was painful before, it was agonizing now.
I tried to remember what happened last night but I couldn't think of anything that led to me getting here— wherever here was. We had all went down for dinner, a few hours later the boys left, a couple of hours after that the girls and I went to sleep and that was all I could remember.
I slide out of the uncomfortable bed more carefully and stand up. Before touching the mysterious door, I turn back to look at the cot sized bed I was laying on.
I definitely fell asleep in my bed, in my room, at my house. So where was I now?
Above where I slept, I notice another curtain similar to mine. I slowly and quietly pull it back, inch by inch, terrified of what or who I might find there.
As soon as my eyes concentrated on the sleeping human I saw, I instantly started to recognize the distinct characteristics of Kaylee's face.
I stopped and tried my hardest to piece together what was happening. Outside the door I pick up on an unfamiliar manly voice and my blood ran cold as my eyes went wide in horror.
"No fucking way." And I was certain that once again we'd been taken from our home. The pounding I felt in my head must of been from being knocked out or being administered a strong drug, because ever since the last time I was taken I hadn't been able to sleep normally. There was no way they would have been able to take me without waking me up.
I wanted to start sobbing, I was so tired of shitty things happening to us, to me. When would I ever be able to feel safe?
I grab a hold of Kaylee's hand for a moment, putting my head down, allowing myself to wallow in self-pity for a second before sucking my tears back in and reminding myself I had to be strong and get us out of this mess once again.
If I was going to get us out of here, I needed her conscious and I needed to figure out who took us and where they were taking us. I also needed to refrain from freaking out and giving up because once I did that, we were doomed.
I shake Kaylee lightly, not wanting her to wake up startled because right now all we had was the element of surprise. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with it yet but it's all we had to work with.
She flutters her eyelids, opening them slowly.
"Jess..?" She seemed tired and confused but at least she was whispering. With barely any examination at all Kaylee had realized she wasn't in her room, in her bed.
"Where are we? ...Why are we moving?" I look at her sympathetically and brush her hair out of her eyes trying to subliminally convince her to stay calm so I could too.
"I am not sure what's going on, and I don't know where we are but—"
The door opens and I'm immediately yanked back, landing roughly on the floor being shocked by the sudden movement and bright lights.
I had to close my eyes and roll around a bit in pain to force my body to come back to life after the harsh impact.
The change in atmosphere caused me to start wheezing as the strong smell of cigarettes flooded what I assumed was a trailer or some kind of RV. With my hand being held over my eyes to block the light, I could finally open my eyes and make sure my sister was okay. I heard her start to scream and struggle in fear which only drove me to snap out of my pain infused daze even faster.
"..don't— touch her!" I struggle to demand, choking on the thick dirty air. My eyes watered as the smoke irritated them and I listened with animalistic senses as Kaylee is thrown next to me already in tears. Blindly I pull her under me to shield her from the unknown threat.
"That's what you get for whispering. No plotting and planning this time around."
The new voice was female and it felt weirdly familiar.
As I rubbed my eyes and the mysterious figures came into view, I automatically recognized the woman as a beaten up version of my biological mother. I knew it was her despite her looking completely different. Her hair was shorter and a bleach blonde, she had a cat scratch on her eyebrow which I wasn't sure was deliberate or not. I also noticed the bright shade of red lip stick she was wearing that was foreign to my eyes. She looked a bit rough up and dirty but all of that was nothing compared to the absolutely petrifying murderous look in her eyes.
I couldn't pinpoint who the man was, all I noted was his body builder physique that I knew not to test. He could crush my windpipe with a quick squeeze from one hand.
"I thought you were dead." I managed to get out after swallowing a few times to lubricate my dangerously dry throat.
"Oh I was. I actually died a few times, hilariously, my heart kept stopping."
She squats down in front of me and was silent for a moment before holding her hand up and receiving a large knife from her partner.
No. No no no. Please, no more scars. I was finally entirely healed.
"I wake up in a hospital and was handcuffed to the rails. They tell me my husband was dead, my children are safe, and I'm going to jail. But all I did was sit and wonder why my safe children didn't come and make sure I was safe."
I was going to respond. I was going to lie and tell some sob story about how I got her into an ambulance and that's all I could do, but she puts the point of the knife on my bare thigh, barely pressing down on it.
"Shh Jessica. That mouth has always gotten you in trouble." She twirls the knife slowly and I felt it piercing my skin but didn't move. She grows bored of the act and lifts the knife quickly enough that it emitted a strange "whooshing" noise that startled me.
"I got out easily, calling in a favor from some friends, asking them to start some commotion downstairs that would give me an opportunity to leave without being seen. It wasn't hard to discover my daughters had quickly moved on from me, the ungrateful brats, and had gone off getting boyfriends, going to school dances, having fun."
I was lying back, propped up on my elbows trying to stay as still as possible with Kaylee on my chest trembling and hiding her face in my shirt.
"It wasn't like that." I try, which I see immediately was the wrong choice. She crawls towards me at an alarming speed that made my heart practically explode in my chest before she grabbed me by my throat and pulled me to sit up.
"I told you to keep your mouth shut." I tried to keep myself from crying or shaking. I heard Kaylee whimpering behind me which made it easier to do so, I knew I had to be strong for her. She releases me and I shiver on the floor like a wreck, twisting the ring on my finger to recoup my sanity. My mother turns her head with a look of annoyance in her eyes. I see her train her stare to my hands and it wasn't hard to figure out what she was thinking.
She grabs my hand forcefully and rips the jewelry that meant the world to me right off my finger. I cried out in pain both physical and emotional. I had a shitty father, but this was all I had left from him.
"Useless. Just like your father was." And she threw it as hard as she could in some random direction. I couldn't move, couldn't cry either. As soon as I started crying, she would think I was weak and Kaylee would start to think the situation was hopeless.
She uses the knife to softly move hair out of my face, "Such a pretty girl. You look just like me." Our faces were so close I could smell the mix of alcohol and tobacco. I didn't dare sneak a glance at the man behind her, fearing he was crazier than she was.
"I found out you had been adopted which seemed pretty illegal to me since I'm still your mother. I knew you were all playing pretend family living in our old house and I thought it nice to pay you both a visit."
She moves the incredibly sharp knife and holds it against my throat.
"It's very dangerous for you to sleep with your window unlocked Jessi bear." I nearly shattered at the realization. This was all my fault. If I wasn't so stupid, we wouldn't be here. Kaylee would be safe, we would be sound asleep.
"Hmm... I miss seeing your blood Jessi bear. It was always such a beautiful shade of crimson." She was literally insane. The way she held my throat and pressed her knife against it, she enjoyed how I struggled to breathe.
"I tried to play nice. I played the perfect mom role, I let you both roam free. I cooked, I cleaned, I smiled, I dressed up and what did that get me?! Shot in the ovaries, while the other bullet grazed my heart. That was my payment for being nice."
I wanted to look around and take in my surroundings so I could form a game plan but I didn't dare move my head.
"When I was mean nothing bad ever happened. But as soon as I act nice, I nearly die. Sign from up above right?" I was paralyzingly terrified.
"Now I can never make another ungrateful brat so that means I'm stuck with you two, and we're going on a little family trip."
"It's not a trip if you've kidnapped us." Kaylee finally speaks and my eyes go wide wishing she would have just let me handle this.
My mom's head snaps in her direction and she pushes the knife closer to my throat forcing me to cough.
"Say something else pumpkin and your sister will pay for it."
I hear Kaylee immediately cower and stay quiet.
"Besides, it's not kidnap if you're mine. I held you, I pushed you out, I own you."
I wondered who was steering the vehicle. It meant that there were at least three people on board and I already knew two out of the three were not to be messed with.
She turns back to me and observed me with those same bone chilling eyes.
"What's your boyfriend's name?" I refused to say it. "I asked you a question. Now you may speak." I wasn't going to open my mouth. She grips my neck even tighter but I only close my eyes and concentrate on taking shallow breaths. "You had so much to say before, now you're mute?"
I opened my eyes and stared at her with no emotion. I hated the fact that she was sitting on my lap like some lunatic.
"Alright. Fine." She shrugs letting go of my throat finally allowing me to breath and I massaged my now sore skin. As soon as I thought I could relax she grabs Kaylee's ankle and drags her with inhuman speed so she could grip her by her throat. My stomach dropped as Kaylee screeched.
"What's his name?" She demands loudly holding the knife to Kaylee's reddened skin and I stifle a sob closing my eyes, "...Jayden." She releases Kaylee, throwing her back down forcefully.
"See that wasn't so hard. I'm not going to hurt him, we're way too far from home to do that." At least I knew a bit more about our whereabouts, not that it helped at all right now.
"Well Jessica, this is your new and improved Jayden."
She leans to the side so I could finally study the man behind her, he was too busy trying to light a cigarette to acknowledge what she said, but my stomach still churned at her words.
There was no way she was that evil.
"..No..." I whimper trying to keep myself from crying. I would rather she carved a million scars than force me to touch a man I didn't know. That was the ultimate level of dehumanization for me. I wasn't sure I would be able to live with myself if it happened.
"Well come on Jessica. You're practically a woman now." I turn to look away from her, shutting my eyes, wishing this was just an intense nightmare. I wanted to wake up and be lying safe in my bed.
She aggressively turned my head with the knife, most likely cutting my cheek.
"I remember when you were little and you used to put on my heels and jewelry to play pretend. But you're all grown up now... no need to pretend." I shake my head closing my eyes to keep the hot tears in, "I'm— I'm not.. I'm still a teenager. I don't— I can't..." And tears started to flow.
I felt my stomach sink even deeper as she begins to laugh at me. I roughly wipe my eyes sensing bile in the back of my throat. She leans close to my ear tickling it with her breath.
"Don't worry. He finds a girl who fights attractive." And I started to cry harder and more uncontrollably, my diaphragm trembling.
"She's your daughter. Don't make her do that." Kaylee begs in a small shaky voice. "One kiss." We both look at her confused, my vision heavily blurred by tears. "That's what you just added to her punishment Kaylee. Every sentence you speak adds another act to her punishment, the next one worse than the last so please. Keep it going."
I felt my insides dancing with fear.
"Please, mom stop!"
"Now she has to sit on his lap."
"Kaylee stop trying to help."
"I didn't say you could speak Jessica, now you'll have to do these acts undressed."
More burning hot tears trailed down my cheeks as my jaw started to ache. There was no way this was happening.
My mom stands up with a sigh twirling the knife in her hand.
"Jayden 2.0 watch them, I'll be right back. And don't be afraid to get grabby if they try anything."
I cover my face knowing that simply praying wouldn't get us out of this. I had to come up with a plan, or a strategy, but it really seemed hopeless this time. There was no way out.
She was obviously showing no sympathy so there was no way we could beg for mercy. There were no rooms we could lock ourselves in, or windows we could climb out of, no number of doors we could kick down, no one who knew where we were. I wasn't even sure we were in the same state. It honestly felt like there was no escaping this time.
I hear Kaylee slowly scooting over. She lays her head on my shoulder and I felt her tears drenching my shirt. I wanted to comfort her but all I could think about was the possibility of my mother forcing me to be her prostitute for entertainment.
Kaylee moves her head so it was now hidden in my hair. Her movements confused me but I didn't question them.
"I fell asleep fully clothed last night, I forgot to change." I keep my face emotionless so the mysterious man staring at us wouldn't get suspicious but I couldn't understand what I would gain from her telling me this.
"My phone's in my inside jacket pocket, that's how I fell asleep." My eyes almost went wide but I forced myself to keep my face blank. "I still have it, she didn't check me." I nearly screamed with joy but narrowly kept my composure. I hear my mother's footsteps approaching and feel Kaylee shift her head so she was simply laying on my shoulder instead of suspiciously hiding her face.
"Did you guys get acquainted?" I look up at her with dead eyes. "No matter. You'll have lots of time for that later. Kaylee go to the room."
Kaylee appeared prepared argue but I dipped my head and gave her a look that said shut up and take the opportunity to call the police. She gets the message and silenced herself.
"Good Jessica, keep your sister quiet so she won't make things harder for you." If only she knew how wrong she was.
"Go. Now." Kaylee gets up sniffling and wipes her eyes before returning to the small pitch-black room and closing the door. It gave me a minuscule sliver of hope.
"Sit." She demands the man and he rolls his eyes following her commands as he takes a long drag from his cigarette.
"Jessica stand." I felt my dinner from yesterday coming up, "No." Her eyes visibly got darker, "I told you to do something, now every time you refuse me the punishment will get worse. Stand." I shake my head starting to cry again, dreaming that someone would bust through that door and save me. "Jessica. Cortez." I shook my head valiantly trying to slowly back away from her.
She grabbed my ankle and I screamed out on instinct, "No!" She pulled me closer to her. "NO no no!" She gripped both of my wrists and forced me to stand up despite me using all my strength to stay on the ground. She was insanely strong.
She held me up by my sore limbs while I struggled to get free.
"No no! Please." I started to sob uncontrollably. I didn't want to touch him, I didn't want to look at him, and from the crazy look in her eyes, I knew she was going to make me do a whole lot more.
Instead of fighting to get away from her which I knew was pointless, I gripped onto her and held her for dear life.
"Let me go!" I only hugged her even tighter. She slammed me onto the seat next to him and grabbed her ridiculously sharp knife, "Move. I dare you." And I stay frozen in my spot.
"Take your shirt off." My heart began to shatter and I felt my brain shutting off, I was out of moves, she had outsmarted me.
"Now Jessica." I look up at her with tears threatening to spill, "...Is he going to—what happens next?" She contemplated whether she would answer me or not.
"You dictate the punishment Jessica. The more defiant you are— the worse it will get. Shirt off."
With more hot tears falling, I slowly pull the shirt off. I felt the man staring at me with an expression I couldn't understand.
I was now shirtless and trembling. I felt vulnerable and I swore my head felt full of static. It was like the beatings I used to get, how my brain would help me by silencing everything, tuning off, and allowing me to imagine open fields, birds, and beautiful flowers.
"Look at him Jessica."
This is what it felt like to be seconds from no return. As soon as I'm forced to go further I will officially not be able to live with myself. I won't want to escape because I won't want to live. This would be the end of my ten feet.
I finally look at the man and he was looking at my chest.
I look down at my own stomach and chest to see what he was seeing. I note a faint white scar and half smile at the thought.
"This is the scar she gave me on my thirteenth birthday, my stepfather and her got real creative. They bought a cake, called me down, and just as I thought I was finally going to be treated like a human, she stabs me. She didn't mean to do it as hard as she did and that was the first time they actually took me to the hospital."
I glance at his face and he was no longer staring at my body.
"Stop talking Jessica." I find another scar, "Oh this was a fun one. Christmas morning, my stepfather dressed up like Santa to entertain my little sister, and you know how Santa has to sit on his sleigh with his reindeer. He held a whip and hit me like I was a reindeer while saying "Ho Ho Ho" like a lunatic." The man started to look uncomfortable.
"Jessica stop." I glance over at her confused, "These are all things I would tell Jayden. And I thought this was the new and improved version." She twitches her eye at me, "I will make you do things you haven't even seen in your worst nightmare." I sigh and tilt my head to look at her, the remainder of my tears falling as I keep my eyes emotionless, "It doesn't get much worse than this mommy."
She growled and threw her knife at the seat letting it pierce the cushion next to me. I don't even flinch.
I imagined Kaylee on the phone with the police right now as they tracked her phone leading them right to us.
"Sit on his lap."
My eyes went wide and my slight confidence wavered.
"What?"
"Now."
"No."
"Grab her."
He hesitated but still lifted me and placed me on his lap. I go stiff shutting my eyes and dreaming I was home at the dinner table with Maria piling mashed potatoes on my plate as I smiled. The smell of the smoke that surrounded him repulsed me and I worried I would vomit on both of us as his hand caressed my upper thigh.
"Open your eyes Jessica." I didn't. I wanted to stay in my fantasy. "Open them!" I hear her grab her knife and I prepare myself, suddenly feeling the pain of the new wound on my arm. I don't cry and I don't move. "Listen to me!" Another slice, but it felt like warm kisses as blood trickled down. "Open—" One cut, "Your—" Two, "EYES." Three and while I felt the blood pool onto my shorts and spill all over my skin, I couldn't help but still enjoy the picture behind my eyelids, and soon that's all I saw. Black. And it's all I felt, Numb.
~~
When my eyes finally open, I find myself staring at the ceiling feeling weak. I blink a few times, everything moving slow.
I felt someone brushing my hair and when I turn my head I see Kaylee with red eyes and a blotchy face from crying.
I lift my good arm weakly and wipe a stray tear. She smiles and puts my arm back down.
After a stretch of silence I cleared my throat softly to speak, "Did you do it?" She holds a finger to her lips before nodding. I turn my head to look back up to the ceiling feeling like I was dying. "...Good.." And I continued to enjoy her warm hands on my face as I slipped away again.
~~
I flutter back to consciousness feeling stronger and find Kaylee with her head down on my chest. I move my good arm to run my fingers through her hair letting her know I was awake.
She turns so she was now facing me.
"Tell me everything." I whisper, my throat feeling like a desert and my eyes feeling droopy from dehydration and blood loss.
"I called them... they started asking questions and tracking us." I nod waiting for more, "My phone was only at ten percent... they wanted to keep me on the line but..." And my small sliver of hope disappeared, "...I'm sure they got our general location and are tailing us now." She attempts and I nod reassuring her, refusing to cry.
No. We were on our own.
"I'm sorry... I couldn't find your ring." I ignored the feeling of emptiness knowing there were more important things to worry about.
"Help me up." If we wanted any chance of getting out, I needed to be mobile.
She lifts me to sit up and I close my eyes suddenly feeling dizzy.
"Is there any water? Or maybe something to eat?" I didn't know how long it had been since I last ate. "No. I saw a water bottle but I'm sure if I touch they'll..." I didn't need her to finish.
I knew we were stuck.