The crowd was real loud... there were confetti around every corner of this place but my attention was nailed only to one person.
Iñigo Miguel Lopez.
Why are you doing this?!
I was still inside his arms and he was just looking at me intently as if he does not have any intention of letting go of me.
We were just like that for quite a moment...
Staring at each other.
I could really hear my heart beating. It was so loud and quick!
Magkaka heart attack na ba ako?
Iñigo Miguel, why would you make me feel this way?!
Para kaming tanga dahil meron kaming sariling mundo. He's now smiling, it was a soft smile but that's enough to melt me down.
Hindi ko magawang alisin tingin ko sa kaniya na para bang ginayuma niya ako para nasa kaniya na lang ang atensyon ko. Hindi ko na rin maintindihan sarili ko.
Is this the part where two people...
Gago! Anong iniisip ko?
Mabilis akong kumawala sa yakap niya. I bit my lips and looked around. I don't wanna see him. Nag-iinit ang muka ko. Sigurado akong namumula ako ngayon.
I shook my head so many times. This... this was nothing.
Miguel was just concerned. He was just worried of me.
Naawa lang siya sa akin.
Naawa lang siya kanina kasi umiiyak ako na parang buhat buhat ko na naman ang mundo sa likod ko.
Ang kapal naman ng muka ko para isipin na gusto niya rin ako.
Gago?! Hindi ko siya gusto.
Right.
I don't like him. I mean yes I like him but just a friend. Hindi ko siya gusto maging boyfriend.
He's... he's just too good for me.
I'm sure he just see me as a friend. Kailangan ko na ba siyang layuan?
"Smile. I'll take you a picture," he chimed. I looked at him and nodded like a kid. I just throw a random pose and smiles looking at his phone.
"Excuse me? Do you want me to take you a picture?" A random girl came to us looking so pretty with her smile. Nagulat lang ako dahil agad namang binigay ni Miguel 'yung phone niya at nag thank you sabay tabi sa akin.
Isang grupo sila ng kababaihan at may isang third gender, lahat sila ay magaganda. Ang ganda rin ng ayos at outfits nila. They started teasing us as Miguel stood beside me.
"Akbay naman!"
"Kiss!" The other three girls beamed. I smiled at them para itago kung gaano kumakabog ang puso ko. Naririnig niya kaya? Malamang hindi.
"Smile!" The girl who was taking the picture said so I smiled shyly. I think she took quite a lot of photos. Some of her friends were chilling at kinikilig sa amin ni Miguel.
"Kuya, akbay na!" The girl teased. I remained looking at the camera because I can't gamble for Miguel to see me like this...
Ngayon ko lang 'to nararanasan.
Ang saya pala sa pakiramdam.
I felt Miguel's hand on the side of my arm. Sabay-sabay namang nagtilian 'yung circle of friends ng nag pipicture sa amin. They're so supportive and I'm thankful.
I lost myself once again! I smiled with my teeth showing. I chuckled! I almost laugh at them.
I just know one thing... I am happy. I am damn well enjoying this moment and I know for sure that I'll keep this moment and cherish it to the future.
Wow...You're not my boyfriend, Iñigo Miguel, but you already made me experience lots of first times.
"Thank you," I said, shyly. They looked at me and beamed. Binalik nung girl kay Miguel 'yung phone at nagpasalamat si Miguel sa kaniya.
"Ate, may i-aairdrop ako!" Kinikilig na sabi nung isa. Kumunot noo ko but I willingly obliged. Tatlo silang may inair drop sa akin.
Miguel took a picture of them while I was just few inches behind Miguel. Their group of friends looks so cute. They all looked so wonderful. I hope their friendship never lose its shine. Ang saya nilang tignan.
We thanked each other then left the arena. Miguel was just walking beside me... wala siyang sinasabi at ganoon din ako. Hindi ko kayang basagin ang katahimikan. I can still feel my heart racing so fucking quickly! Nanginginig din ang kamay ko. Sana hindi niya mapansin ang kahit ano.
Wala sa sarili akong sumunod kay Miguel hanggang sa makarating kami sa parking. Ang dami pa ring tao. Sobrang lala rin ng parking. Medyo walang tao sa parte kung saan naka park 'yung sasakyan ni Miguel.
He stopped walking noong nasa likod na kami ng sasakyan niya so I stopped too. I looked up to him curious.
He tried to talk pero hindi niya agad natuloy. Hinintay ko siya ng ilang segundo.
"Traffic pa masyado." I nodded, agreeing. "Dito muna tayo?" I smiled then nodded.
Ilang minuto kaming parang tangang nakatayo rito na hindi nagsasalita o gumagawa ng kahit ano para mabasag ang katahimikan. Okay lang naman. I don't mind being in silence. I'm very fond of silence even with Miguel. It's comforting.
"Did you enjoy?" He asked with his shaky voice.
"Yeah," mabilis at paos kong sagot. Nagtinginan muna kami bago kami tumingin sa kung saan. Tumahimik tuloy kami ulit. Isa isang nawawala ang mga sasakyan pero marami pa rin naman ang natira.
"I'm sorry I didn't greet you good morning first. I was... kinda busy looking for a last minute ticket," he explained. My forehead was creasing as I look at his face na mukang batang nag eexplain sa kasalanan niya.
I smiled a little. "No prob. Not a biggie."
Silence enveloped as once again. "Paano ka pala nakakuha ng ticket?—"
"You look so pretty. I mean you're pretty—" We said in chorus pero mas nauna akong natigilan.
My heartbeat was yet again to race.
Ano bang gusto mong gawin, Miguel?
Bakit mo ako ginaganito?
I enjoyed talking to you for months already and that is something! Hindi ako 'yung tipo ng tao na matagal ang attention span. I easily lose interest with people but with you? Paano mo nagagawa sa akin 'to?
"Ah.. last week pa sana ako merong ticket kaso wala, e.. kaya ayon naghanap ako kanina if may makukuha pa ako and I surprisingly got a good one for me." Tumango lang ako.
Huminga siya ng malalim kaya tinignan ko siya. He did breathing exercise at saka ngumiti sa akin.
I think I am already used to that smile. Sa tingin ko ay hahanap hanapin ko na 'yon.
"Anyway," he whispered at mabilis na pinindot 'yung car key niya. May kinuha naman siya sa backseat kaya lumingon muna ako kung nasan 'yung mga sasakyan at kung sobrang traffic pa ba. Marami naman na ang nakaalis pero marami pa rin kami ditong naiwan. Nasa may dulo nga lang kami ni Miguel.
When I felt Miguel's body beside me, mabilis ko siyang nilingon with a smile on my face because I was about to tell him that we can start going na.
But his gesture made me froze for a moment. I got nailed. I was frozen for a while. I couldn't fucking move any nerves! I was just intently looking at the bouquet of sunflowers and yellow carnations. It was beautifully arranged.
My heart was no longer beating quick and loud. Everything around us felt like a montage. I couldn't quite hear a thing. I feel a hot liquid forming in my eyes. I tried so hard to breathe in but my system wouldn't even allow me. I was just looking at the bouquet for as long as I can remember.
"For you and if you're gonna ask 'what for?' Well... hindi ko rin alam. I just believe that I need to give this to you tonight."
I wiped the lone tear on my cheek and looked behind me. Mabilis kong binawi ang sarili at lumingon ulit kay Miguel. I got the bouquet and held it like a baby. I smiled.
Miguel smiled like a happy kid and it calmed me.
"Can I take you a picture?" He politely asked, kinakabahan pa ata siya kung papayag ako o hindi. Tumango na lang ako.
"Is my make-up still okay?" Sabi ko na halos natatawa. Tumitig muna siya sa akin.
"Wonderful," naka ngiting banggit niya at tila ilang segundo pa siyang tumitig sa akin bago napag desisyunan na tumingin na sa phone camera niya.
I was looking at Miguel, smiling weirdly. Hindi ko napansin na nag pipicture na pala siya. I looked around para candid. But I smiled in front of the camera.
"Are you happy?" Mahinahong tanong ni Miguel habang nakatapat pa rin sa akin 'yung phone niya. Naka tingin din ako sa kaniya. Maliit akong ngumiti at tumango.
"So much."
"That's great," aniya bago pinatay ang cellphone at tinago sa bulsa niya. Malambing niya akong tinitigan. His stares were so soft that I could get lost in it but still feels safe.
"Deanna," he softly called. I remained looking at him. "I like you," he confessed.
At ito na naman ang parang baliw kong puso. Parang tanga! Ganito ba ang first time! O malandi lang ako?
I can't breathe... hindi ko magawang huminga nang maayos dahil sa narinig ko sa kaniya. I was just lost in the moment.. habang nakatingin deretso sa mga mata niya.
My heartbeat was so crazy for beating so loud and quick. I'm overwhelmed and I don't know how to handle myself. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko! Para lang akong tangang naka titig sa kaniya, waiting for him to say something again because I can't speak. I'm really lost.
He likes me?
How come? What's likable about me?
"I have a crush on you and I think it's quite obvious..." he chuckled before he run his fingers through his hair. "But I'm not expecting anything. I hope we can still be friends. I just wanted to let you know that... I like you, I really do."
I stared at him, hind ko napansin na ang tagal kong nakatitig lang sa kaniya. I was busy observing his expression and I cannot find a hint of mischief on his face. He looked so genuine...
Sigurado ba siyang gusto niya ako o baliw na siya?
"Thank you," namamaos na banggit ko. Lumiwanag naman lalo ang muka niya. Sa kaniya lang ako nakatingin. Ayokong lumingon kung saan.
"Welcome," masayang sabi niya.
"What can I do to make you happy?" I asked because I know that he deserves to be happy, too. He's making me happy beyond the cloud nine.
He shook his head. "I'm already happy. But, you can at least let me admire you." I nodded.
We met in the second week of February and it's almost the third week of September. He confessed that he likes me tonight. And I will never forget this night.
The very first time I attended a concert. The first time I received a bouquet of flowers. The first time a guy hugged and kiss my forehead. He planted a kiss on my head to make me feel safe and cared for. I also experienced the high school thing I kinda wanted to experience but did not get the chance to— people taking picture of me with someone I like as they tease us together.
So many first time.
The very first time I felt so free.
The night he confessed.
The night I became so sure that I really like him.
Gosh! I will never forget this night.
I woke up a little late than my usual. Agad akong nag tungo sa banyo para maligo at saka nag ayos ng kakainin. It's already eleven in the late morning. Alas dos na ako naihatid ni Miguel sa condo dahil medyo traffic pa rin kagabi kahit nagpahuli kami sa pag-alis.
I looked at the bouquet of flowers on my study table. Hindi ko naman napigilan ang sarili na ngumiti ulit. Ang ganda ng gising ko. Hindi mabigat sa pakiramdam. Wala akong sama ng loob na inaalala o nararamdaman.
All I feel is pure happiness and freedom.
Is it getting better? I mean, tahimik na buhay ko dito at the same time I found a friend and inspiration kay Miguel. Masaya ako kay Miguel and that's for sure pero alam ko naman na di ako pwede maging sobrang independent sa kaniya.
Nilapitan ko 'yung bouquet at kinuha 'yon. I smelled it at napansin ko naman 'yung jacket ni Miguel na nasa study chair ko. He made me wear that last night. We stayed a little longer sa parking at nagkuwentuhan bago namin napag desisyunang umalis.
Nag selfie ako with the bouquet. Nag post muna ako ng ilang picture and videos from last night. I made Miguel airdrop the pictures he took of me nung nasa concert pa kami. I was looking at the camera, smiling a little while Olivia was still performing.
The next posts were the videos of Olivia singing and the montage of the loud crowd.
Naghahanap pa sana ako ng pwedeng i-post nang bigla akong mapunta sa videos na alam kong hindi ako ang kumuha o si Miguel. It was a video of me and Miguel jamming through the deja vu song. We looked so happy and free. Paano si Miguel, deja vu lang 'yung kabisado.
Natuwa naman ako sa aming dalawa. Ang saya naming tignan.
Ang saya kong tignan...
Naiiyak na naman tuloy ako pero hinayaan ko lang tumulo luha ko dahil mag-isa lang naman ako. Ang saya lang kasi hindi ako ganoon noon. Ngayon ko lang nakita 'yung sarili kong sobrang saya.
Ilang videos ang meron kami ni Miguel, 'yon 'yung ini-airdrop sa akin nung magkakaibigan. Gosh. I am so grateful to them! Sana maging masaya silang lahat. Lahat ng videos ay paulit-ulit kong pinanood. Meron pa doon na video kung saan pinipicturan kami ni Miguel at kung paano siya umakbay sa akin.
At kung paano lumaki ang ngiti sa aking muka at kita rin kung paano lumiwanag nang sobra 'yung muka ko.
Lastly... meron ding seven second video kung saan nakayakap sa akin si Miguel during the last part of the concert.
I was real free and happy last night.
Sana magpatuloy na 'to. I'm in a new environment, I will make my life worth living.
Hindi ko pinost 'yung videos and pictures namin ni Iñigo Miguel dahil ayokong mausog 'yon. The more people know, the more most of them wish na hindi magpatuloy. Hindi ako ganon pero ganon ang sinasabi sa akin dati ni Mira. Nauusog daw kapag pinapaalam agad.
Instead, I posted the picture of me holding—almost hugging the bouquet of flowers, wearing Miguel's jacket that looked over sized to me habang naka ngiti ako at nakapikit. This picture looked so cute. Ang galing niya kumuha ng mga larawan. Nasa parking pa rin kami nung time na 'to.
It was a live photo kaya parang boomerang 'yon in not so slowmo. I chose so american as the song of my story, 'yung bridge part.
Miguel texted me kanina pa pero ngayon lang ako naka reply. I sent him one video na ini-airdrop sa akin kagabi. Hindi ko sined sa kaniya lahat. Bahala siya. Iinggitin ko muna.
Miguel:
WOW
WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?
they airdrop that to me noong nagpapasalamat ka sa nag picture sa akin
OH
YEAH I SAW THEM TALKING TO YOU
that's why i did not bother you
is that all?
no
it's quite a lot
and you only sent me one?
well
unfair :(
Hindi ko na siya ni-replyan pa. Sunod-sunod ang notification ng IG ko. Mira and Choi replied to most of it pero mas marami silang reply doon sa huling story ko.
I smiled. I just replied them 'haha' and asked them how they were doing pero pinipilit pa rin akong mag kuwento.
@albertoaidan:
screenshot
will send this to your mom
gawa
talaga
ganyan ha
who told you, you can flirt?
it's not flirting
so you're serious?!
what the fuck?!
WHAT THE HELL DID I MISS, DEANNA JOSCELLAINE?!
Oh good God, bakit ba puro oa na lalaki nasa palagid ko?
nothing. will tell you soonest.
tell me now
soon
Hindi na niya ako agad na-replyan. Siguro ay may ginagawa na sa trabaho o kung ano. Tumawag naman si Miguel pero hindi ko 'yon sinagot at sinabihan siyang any time soon ay tatawag na ang nanay ko dahil off non ngayon.
"How's the concert, anak? Nag enjoy ka ba?" Bungad ni mommy. Naka pang bahay siya ngayon. Buti naman. Halos tuwing magkausap kami ay naka scrub siya dahil either kakauwi niya lang galing duty or papunta pa rin sa duty.
Ang hirap maging nurse kaya hindi ko 'yon pinursue... kailangan talaga ng determination. Hindi ka pwedeng mag nursing or any med related course para lang sa pera, especially med school. Grabe 'yung pagod tapos underpaid pa sa Pilipinas. I'm just really grateful na nasa Canada si mommy at least covered pa health insurance niya at alam kong safe siya.
"Yes," I answered while nodding and smiling weirdly. Naalala ko naman 'yung nangyari kagabi. Parang biglang nag light up 'yung mood ko. Sobrang nakakatuwa. Ngumiti naman din si mommy.
"Yung application mo, ha. Dapat approved na 'yan sa October." Tumango ako at sumimsim ng fresh milk. "Ang saya naman ng anak ko," komento niya habang tinitignan 'yung mga pictures ko kagabi na ang kumuha ay si Miguel. Sympre hindi niya alam 'yon.
"Sexy and pretty naman. Umayos ka dyan lagi, ha? I'm doing my best to give you your dream life. Bibigay ni mommy lahat basta mag-aral at maging successful ka lang para sa sarili mo." Tumango lang ako nang tumango sa kaniya dahil alam ko naman 'yon.
Kahit isipin ng marami na walang future sa Film, gagalingan ko pa rin. I have my dreams with me. I'll try until I succeed in this path that I chose. Hindi ko bibiguin si mommy. Ang mahal ng tuition ko at lahat ng sa college.
"Bibigay ko lahat basta wag ka lang mag b-boyfriend—" Agad naman akong nasamid dahil uminom ako ulit noong sinabi niya 'to. Umubo ako nang umubo at halos hindi na makahinga dahil sa sinabi ni mommy na nagpa samid sa akin.
Tinignan ko naman siya na parang gulat na gulat at kinakabahan na sa akin. Uminom ako ng tubig.
"Dahan dahan naman sa pag inom... parang ginugutom ba kita?" Naguguluhang tanong niya. Umiling ako. "Oh siya sige na. Intindihin mo sinasabi ko sa 'yo, Deanna."
I nodded as I gulped a lump on my throat. "Yes, ma. Noted po. Pahinga po muna kayo dyan. Tawag po kayo ulit mamayang gabi." She smiled at me and then ended the call.
Wala pa nga kaming nasisimulan ni Miguel, tutol agad nanay ko?
I took a deep breath, contemplating my life. I really like him. Hindi naman ako tanga para di 'yon mahalata sa sarili ko. Ang dami kong pagpapasensya doon. Ang haba nga ng pasensya ko sa lalaki na 'yon pero sa lahat ng tao parang ang iksi at handa akong magalit agad.
Kinakausap ko siya nung mga panahon na wala talaga akong pinapansin. Hindi ko sinasakripisyo tulog ko para sa tao, pero nung araw-araw kami magkausap halos hindi na ako matulog. Hindi rin ako marunong at mahilig mang stalk ng tao pero inistalk ko siya at mga kaibigan niya.
Tapos 'yung kagabi? 'Yung naramdamanan ko kagabi? Sigurado akong gusto ko siya. Siguradong sigurado ako.
Bahala na.
Maraming nag reply sa story ko kaya nireplyan ko sila. 'Yung iba happy raw for me dahil alam niyang fan talaga ako ni Olivia, 'yung iba naman naiinggit daw sila so i had to tell them that soon sila naman ang makaka attend.
May dm si Miguel na hindi ko pa nababasa but I ended up watching his stories. Nag story rin siya ng mga videos kagabi ni Olivia. Natawa lang ako sa naalala ko na noong deja vu lang siya naka kanta dahil 'yun lang ata alam niyang kanta. Grabe! Pati Driver's license hindi alam.
But at least he tried and he enjoyed.
Nag story rin siya ng picture niya na ako ang kumuha naka soft smile lang siya at naka thumbs up ang pose, naka backwards 'yung cap niya sa photo na 'to. He was just wearing a navy blue sweatshirt and khaki shorts last night. Deja vu 'yung background song ng picture niya. Ang simple ng suotan pero well... he really looks good.
I liked all of his posts until the story was a picture of me na nasa harapan niya while seriously watching Olivia pero hindi naman halatang kasama niya ako. Parang random tao lang na nakasama sa picture.
I was so shocked on his last post... it was posted at around 9 AM today. Tulog pa ako nito. He was wearing a white t-shirt. Naka upo siya sa study chair niya at nagsimulang mag strum sa guitar niya. He looked so serious but then his lips rose a little when he started playing the guitar.
He sang the chorus of so american acoustic version in male point of view. Ngumingiti naman siya from time to time pero ang seryoso niyang tignan.
He looks so fucking dreamy.
Gosh! Seriously? This guy likes me? Seryoso ba ang mundo o tinatarantado na naman ako. But.. I'm just a girl?
Hindi ko napansin na nakangiti na ako habang pinapanood siyang kantahin 'yon. Paulit ulit kong pinanood until napansin ko 'yung small note niya sa babang gilid ng video.
i guess best morning
I smiled. I agree. This morning was probably the most calm morning I've had after so many years. I am beyond happy.
I liked his story then replied to his random updates. Pinilit niya pa ako na isend sa kaniya 'yung ibang videos na hindi ko pa sinesend. How do I tell him that we should just trade videos? I'll send him those but he'll send me his video singing so american?
Ayoko nga. Baka isipin niya gusto ko siya. Well, oo pero basta. Baka lumaki ulo e at asarin ako.
I cleaned the whole condo and made sure that everything I need for tomorrow is set already. Naka ready na rin 'yung outfit na isusuot ko bukas. Tomorrow's my welcome sem. Finally. I'm about to start my college journey.
Please be good to me.
I spent the night watching a movie alone because Miguel was busy doing his school work and studying some few lessons na aaralin nila bukas.
I woke up so early not because I'm excited but for a reason I don't know. Nag exercise muna ako bago ako naligo. I just wore a white spaghetti strap hem top na may pa small ribbon on the chest part, light washed denim jeans, it's not skinny but wide leg just a normal jeans for my size. My shoes is an inspired Mary Jane sandals with 3 inches heels in cherry red, same ng kulay sa shoulder bag ko.
I was wearing a light make-up and a red matte color tint for my lips. I blow dried my armpit length wavy hair. Nang ma-satisfy na ako ay agad akong bumaba pero kinuha ko muna 'yung ticket na nasa table at tuluyan nang lumabas para maglakad na pababa. May ilang estudyante akong nakasabay sa elevator. Mukang taga B&A rin. Sobrang lapit lang ng building na 'to sa school so malamang halos lahat kami dito ay doon nag-aaral.
Nang makababa ako ay dumeretso ako sa isang cafe para bumili ng pastries but I was so shocked when I saw a familiar man standing on the queue. Mabilis akong lumakad palapit sa kaniya. Tumabi ako sa kaniya dahil may nakapila sa likod niya.
"Oh, hey."
"Why are you here?" I whispered. Seryosong nagtatanong sa kaniya. Bakit siya nandito? Nasa kabila 'yung school niya.
"Good morning," bati niya at humakbang dahil palapit na siya sa cashier. "Wala lang. Bakit? Sa 'yo ba 'to? Hindi mo naman sinabing cafe owner ka pala," pagbibiro pa niya. He saw me gasped kaya naman tumawa siya at nanahimik na.
"What do you want?" He asked. I asked for a muffin and banana bread. Binili naman niya 'yon habang tumatango. Ano na naman kayang iniisip nito? He bought something for himself. He knows that I'm not a fan of coffee that's why he bought me a cup of strawberry vanilla cold drink.
I thanked him. Tinanong ko siya kung magkano pero alam ko namang hindi niya ako pagbabayarin. Kaya kapag ganito, I make sure na ibabalik ko sa kaniya para wala siyang angal. When he buys me something, I'll buy him something in return. I might just buy him dinner later.
Lumabas na kami agad ng cafe dahil ang daming tao. Hinatid niya naman ako sa tapat ng gate. I looked at him and he was just looking around habang hawak niya pa 'yung pastries ko. I smiled a little bit. Para siyang naiinggit sa mga taong nasa loob at mga makakasama sa welcome sem.
"Bro! Dude!" A random guy approached Miguel. He looks fil-chi. Well, halos lahat naman ng nandito ay mga chinito at chinita. That guy's wearing SLIU ID. So, classmate sila? Tinignan ko lang silang dalawa.
Binati din siya ni Miguel at tinanong bakit siya nandon.
"Oh, I'm here to accompany my girlfriend," sabi non saka pinakita kay Miguel 'yung ticket. "What about you?" Curious na tanong nung lalaki habang naka ngiti. This guy looks friendly. Mabuti naman at mukang mababait din ang nasa paligid ni Miguel.
Natigilan naman saglit si Miguel at parang na stuck 'yung ngiti niya sa labi niya dahil hindi niya alam ang isasagot. Tumingin siya saglit sa akin dahilan para mapatingin sa akin 'yung chinito. Napa 'ooh' and 'nice' naman 'yon at tumango-tango. He said hi so I greeted him back. Nagpaalam din naman siya agad dahil hinahanap niya girlfriend niya.
"Sorry hindi kita napakilala," sabi ni Miguel na parang natataranta. Tumawa lang ako. Ang bilis nung pangyayari, okay lang sa akin kahit di niya ako ipakilala. Nagmamadali rin naman 'yung kausap niya.
Kinuha ko sa kaniya 'yung pastries at tinignan niya ako nang maiigi. Para siyang magulang na isesend ako to prep school. He smiled again.
"Good luck! Enjoy!" He said that if he can kiss my forehead, he would.
"Your class for monday starts at 1 PM," I mentioned. Tumango naman siya while his brows furrows.
"Paano mo nalaman?"
"You sent me your schedule."
"Tinandaan mo pala buong schedule ko. Hindi mo pa ako gusto niyan, ha," nang aasar na sabi niya. I rolled my eyes.
"Monday lang," depensa ko.
Ngumiti siya at tumango tango. "Pasok ka na."
"Inggit ka?"
"Medyo."
"Bakit di ka humanap ng ticket?"
"Wag na. Ikaw lang naman close ko dyan. If ever, makakasama ko lang mga taga SLIU."
I nodded. I got the plus one ticket on my bag before I got his hand para ilagay doon 'yung ticket. Kumunot naman noo niya. Naguguluhan. Tinignan niya kung ano 'yung nilagay ko sa kamay niya and his eyes grew so wide when he realized what I just gave him. Ngumiti ako saglit bago siya tinalikuran at naglakad papasok.
May ID na ako dahil nakuha ko 'to last week para hindi na ako mahirapan this week and that's why I did not need to have a ticket. May ID na ako e.
I was seriously enjoying the view of this campus as I look around until I felt the familiar figure na halos lagi kong kasama these days. He's now standing beside me, mukang hinabol pa ako.
"Have I told you that you look pretty today?"
"Wag mo ng sabihin kung gusto mo magpasalamat, welcome," sabi ko at hinahanp kung saan ba 'yung film majors. Nilingon ko si Miguel na nakatingin sa akin.
"Alam mo ba 'yung program?" I asked. He gently nodded his head. "Kita na lang tayo sa open field after this? Then sabay tayo sa closed gym," sabi ko at agad naman siyang tumango. Ngumiti siya nang sobra dahilan para mag light up na naman ang paligid. Hindi ko siya nginitian pero tumango naman ako sa kaniya.
I smiled as soon as I turned my back on him. Bahala siya hanapin mga SLIU dito. I walked towards the film majors. May mga facilitators na naghahandle sa bawat programs. I sat on the available chair.
Nasa open court kami ngayon kaya naman medyo mainit but it's bearable. Nagsidatingan naman na ang karamihan kaya alam kong may tumabi na sa akin. Tinignan ko saglit 'yung katabi ko. She's like wednesday with her all black outfit. But she looks so pretty with it. Wolf cut din 'yung buhok niya. Her eyeglasses fits her too. Ang ganda ng make-up niya.
Naramdaman niya atang naka tingin ako sa kaniya kaya tinignan niya ako. She looked at me with no emotions on her face. She looks so pretty.
I think it's quite quits because I'm sure that I look like I;m judging her. Everyone I met told me that I look like a bitch when they first met me.
Hindi ko siya pinansin because the program started. May nagsalita, I think the school dean at mga professors dito. I was clearly focused on them hanggang sa matapos silang lahat sa speech nila. May ice breaker and whatever. 'Yung katabi kong isa ang naka partner ko.
He's tall and unlike the other AB student, he's just wearing a black pants and black t shirt. Parehas kaming wala sa mood kaya halos wala rin kaming pakelam sa ice breaker.
"Mark," he said because we needed to introduce ourselves to each other.
"Deanna," I said and the we acted like we finished our very huge task. Good. Kasi if madaldal 'tong katabi ko, baka kanina pa ako nakasimangot nang sobra.
Meron kaming thirty minutes health break and we can roam around the campus but after that ay kailangan na namin magsama sama ulit, by programs, para pumunta sa mga booths.
Mabilis akong pumunta sa open field at buti na lang ay maraming puno dito at hindi ako masyadong naiinitan. Hindi ko mahanap si Miguel so I ended up texting him where I am. After two minutes ay nakita ko na agad siya na naglalakad, hinahanap ako.
Hinintay ko siya hanggang sa makita niya kung nasaan ako. Mabilis naman siyang lumakad palapit sa akin.
"Sorry. Kanina ka pa dito?" He asked. I shook my head.
"We still have twenty minutes. After that I need to go back to visit the booths." Tumango siya. Of course alam na niya 'to. Ganito rin ginawa nila non e.
"Kamusta? May nakausap ka ba?" Tanong niya. Wala naman akong nakausap aside sa kinailangan namin ibigay pangalan sa isa't-isa. Hindi ako sumagot kay Miguel.
"It's okay. Malay mo mamaya may makausap ka na?"
"Don't treat me like a kid."
"Bakit ko naman tatratuhing bata 'yung crush ko? Weird ko naman." Seryoso ko siyang tinignan bago siya iwan at naglakad sa parteng medyo walang tao. Hindi naman ganon karami ang students ng B&A compared sa IU.
I ate the muffins habang naka upo sa stairs ng isang hall. Umupo naman sa tabi ko si Miguel.
"Lowbat ka na agad," bulong niya. Kumunot naman noo ko at tinignan ang cellphone. Hindi naman. I heard him chuckle bago niya binuksan 'yung water bottle.
Right. Wala pala akong tumbler. I'll buy maybe sa weekends na. Kinuha ko 'yung tubig dahil inabot niya sa akin. Uminom na ako dahil nauuhaw na rin pala ako at hindi ko man lang 'yon napansin. Si Miguel 'yung nagsara dahil nasa kaniya 'yung cap ng bottle.
I continued eating hanggang sa banana bread na 'yung natira. I offered it to Miguel pero ngumiti lang siya at umiling.
"I'm enjoying," I shared.
"I see that." Tumango ako. Buti naman napansin niya. "I'm happy that you're enjoying."
"I like this environment. Hopefully, I enjoy my stay here. Everyone looks pretty and interesting. I'm gonna be like them."
"You're pretty and interesting."
I shrugged at tumawa naman siya.
"I'm seriously telling the truth."
"Crush mo lang kasi ako," seryosong sagot ko. Dahilan naman para tumahimik siya... tumahimik naman siya ng mga ilang segundo lang at sunod sunod na ulit dumaldal.
"Your class starts at 1 PM," sabi ko. He nodded when he realized that he has a class to attend to. He checked his watch. Maaga pa naman. If we finish the booth thing before twelve then I think I can still eat lunch with Miguel pero if hindi edi wala. It's unfair and not nice if I tell him to wait for me.
Babalik pa siya sa campus niya.
"I'll wait til twelve then let's eat lunch," aniya na parang nabasa niya nasa isip ko. I shook my head.
"You should eat first. Matatagalan kami."
"You'll stop before twelve noon then resumes at 1 pm then may activity per program until before 3 pm because mag sstart na 'yung band non." Nakinig lang ako sa sinabi niya at tumingin sa mga estudyanteng dumadaan.
"Bahala ka," tanging na sabi ko na lang. Bahala siya, basta hindi siya malalate sa klase niya.
"After nung booth thing pupunta kayo doon sa open gym then may mga games. Then concert until before six kasi kailangan niyong lumakad sa walk of bliss para makapunta sa open filed at gawin 'yung bonfire and lantern tradition," tumatango lang ako sa lahat ng sinasabi niya. Alam ko naman na ang magaganap dahil napapanood ko 'to noon and nakita ko rin nung nag welcome sem siya. Mas maganda nga lahat sa SLIU dahil main campus 'yon.
"Hi! Hello po! I am Kristine from B&A Publication. Can I take a picture of you po?" Napatingin ako bigla doon sa babaeng lumapit sa amin. Naka tayo siya sa harap namin ni Miguel. She's wearing the school publication polo shirt so I nodded. Go lang naman sa lahat si Miguel. Tuwang tuwa pa nga.
Lumapit pa lalo sa akin si Miguel at nagsimula na kaming picture-an nung girl. Naka two shots kami. I just let out a small smile.
"Done na po. We'll post it sa facebook page." Ngumiti lang ako sa kaniya.
"Ate, pwede patingin?" Magalang na sabi ni Miguel at agad naman siyang tumayo at bumaba sa stairs para makalapit doon sa babae. Ngumiti lang 'yung girl sa kaniya at pinakita 'yung picture namin.
Kulit talaga ng lalaki na 'to. Tumingin sa akin 'yung babae na naka ngiti nang sobra, parang kinikilig sa amin. Ngumiti na lang din ako.
Nakakapagod ngumiti ngayong araw ha.
"Ate, I'll just take a picture po, ha," paalam ni Miguel bago kinuha 'yung phone sa bulsa at pinicturan 'yung litrato namin na nasa camera ng school. Nag thank you naman siya bago umalis 'yung girl.
Para na naman siyang bata na nakuha 'yung matagal nang hinihingi sa magulang. Tinitigan ko lang siya habang tinititigan niya 'yung picture namin na nasa cellphone na niya. He's smiling so sweetly.
God, he's so sweet.
Tumingin siya sa akin dahilan para makita ko kung gaano ka-ganda ang mga mata niya.
"We look so cute here!"
I did not utter a word to what he said, instead, I enjoyed watching his facial expression and the way he move around. His eyes were always perfect to my sight, it's like a sun that can bring light. I could really compare his brown eyes to sunsets but since it's always sparking, I can also associate it to the stars.
I really do get lost in his eyes. They were talking with no words. I feel like he's communicating with me by just looking at me. And they really look so beautiful. I can stare at it for a whole damn day and still wouldn't complain.
Kapag tinitignan niya ako, mas lalo kong na-a-appreciate 'yung kagandahan ng features niya. At tuwing hindi siya nakatingin sa akin, kinukuha ko 'yung pagkakataon na 'yon para pagmasdan siya. Siguro... masasabi ko na isa siya sa mga nakita kong nagustuhan ko talaga. Hindi nakakasawang tignan.
"Do you wanna see this? I'll send this to you but you have to send the other videos," he said, smiling so sweetly and gently.
Lagi pa siyang naka ngiti.
He's already good looking and whenever he smile.
I just know...
I know that I could fall for him if I won't get a good grip to myself.
Oh, Iñigo Miguel...
The man that you are.