CHAPTER EIGHT: MEMORIES OF THE PAST
"All power will come to an end. They might try to stop it, but all they have done is hasten it."
Prof. El-Azizi's words echoed in my mind as Sarah showed me an online article about a protest in Sarai, the capital city of Akkadiyah. The protesters demanded the release of captives taken from Haniya and other cities, as well as other prisoners who were imprisoned unjustly without any concrete evidence of their wrongdoings. The protest had garnered the attention of every press company in the region since it was the first mass protest in the kingdom.
"The protest is led by the students' movement for justice. It's a movement that Prof. El-Azizi founded a couple of decades ago. The people who joined him are mostly his students at the university, schools, and even mosques. After the regime imprisoned him, his close students and colleagues took over his place and continued the movement. The people of Akkadiyah had found out that the regime banished Prof. El-Azizi to the Red Desert, and they are furious about that."
"Wait, how did they know that? I thought it's a classified execution, and only the upper officials knew about the banishment," I said as I gave her tablet back.
"It seems that the situation has gone out of hand. The situation in the kingdom had been unstable for a while now, ever since the previous heir of the throne was exiled to an unknown place for following Prof. El-Azizi's movement. But what worries us is that his students are going to find him in the desert, and when they can't find him there, there will be a massive uprising in the region."
I heaved a low sigh, crossing my arms against my chest. "Is there any news from the search party?"
Sarah shook her head. "Not yet. They had reached a coastal town yesterday, but there was no trace of Leila and Prof. El-Azizi."
"I don't think they would leave Aman, since we don't have any identification cards with us. They would probably settle in a quiet and rural area, as far as they could from the Akkadiyah border. That's what they told me about what they would do."
"Alright. I'll send the word," said Sarah with a smile before she left with her tablet.
I cupped the half-empty mug of hot coffee that lay untouched since Sarah came in with the news. The balcony overlooked the neighbourhood and the street towards the main area of the city. Daytime in Haniya was always quiet, and the air went quieter during the night, as if life in the city had gone into a slow-motion mode. The playground in the middle of the neighbourhood was almost empty, and during the occasional times I spent at the balcony over the past week, less than five children had used the playground.
Sarah said the siege changed the dynamic in Haniya and sucked out the energy from its soul. The people who surrendered to the regime were mostly influential professionals who criticised the regime for its unjust policy and provocative action against neighbouring states. Many thought the problem would be solved after the people on the list surrendered and the siege was lifted, but for the leaders in Haniya, the real problem was getting started.
Especially when I showed up at one of the checkpoints after surrendering to the regime.
A sigh escaped my lips as I gazed at the blue, cloudy sky of Haniya. I could be a pawn in this game. Did they intend for me to survive the desert so I could come back to Haniya? Or did they just want to get rid of me, and somehow I survived?
I clutched the key hanging from my neck, putting down the mug on the table. This key could hold the answer, and I need to find the answer before the situation in the region worsens. It was already hanging on a thin thread. Made a mistake, and everything crashed down like a fragile bridge.
Maybe if I could find my friends, they would know what the key was used for. The question was where and how to find them.
I asked Hamza if he knew my friends in the city who were not on the list and if we were friends before I lost my memory. But he dodged the question, saying that he would be putting Salam to bed. I haven't seen them since that night, and they left in the early morning without a word. I wonder what his problem was. I was just trying to be nice, but he has avoided me like a plague ever since.
The house was deafeningly quiet without Salam's adorable babble and her cute little legs running around the house. Her presence and beaming smile brightened up every room she was in. The way she jumped up in joy whenever something excited her brought warmth to my heart.
A small smile tugged on my lips when I caught sight of two little children walking with their mother in the neighbourhood, presumably for a trip to the grocery store. The image of red peonies in Salam's adorable little hands flashed through my mind. A gentle morning breeze brushed my face, making my eyes close briefly.
"That's not how we plant a flower, Salam."
A giggle escaped my lips when I turned around and saw Salam had buried a packet of rose seedlings in a pot full of soil.
"Oh?" She widened her eyes, and the hands that held a packet of peony seedlings fell to the ground before she could bury them in another flower pot.
"First, we tear open the packet," I said, showing her how to open the packet at the side. I poured the seeds on my palm and showed them to her. "Do you see these little seeds?"
She bobbed her head. "Yes! They are very cute."
I laughed. "Sure, they are. Now, take a few of these seeds and put them in the pot."
"Okay," she said. She grabbed some seeds with her little fingers from my palm and put them into the small pot.
"Then we put some soil on top of them. Give them a little pat and some water. then we wait until they grow."
"Yeay!" Salam clapped her hands, smiling brightly. "I want to show Baba that I planted a flower."
Smiling at her beaming face, I grabbed her hand and brought her towards the water hose. "You can show him when he comes home soon. Now, let's wash our hands and find something to eat."
Numerous images flashed through my mind all at once after the scene. The throbs in my head increased with every passing second. Salam's baby face, Hamza's smiles, and other strangers' faces flood through my mind. I gripped the railings, but the intensity of the memories made me lose my balance.
"Salwa! Are you alright?"
Sarah touched my arm, catching me before my head hit the floor. "What happened?"
I gasped, breathing heavily. "Can you ask Hamza and Salam to come here?"
"Why?" She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.
I gulped as tears formed in my eyes. "I remember something. I need to confirm it with them."
She widened her eyes in shock before realisation dawned on her. "I'll call Hamza right away. But before that, let me help you get inside."
I held the side of my throbbing head as I leaned against the sofa. The ache hadn't stopped since the first recollection of my lost memory occurred. A glass of water from Sarah remained untouched on the table. My stomach churned at the thought of consuming something. The newfound information, or rather a recollection of a lost memory, was too intense for my mind.
The sound of rushing footsteps made me look up from the red and black carpet. Hamza entered the living room by himself, with no signs of the little girl with him.
"Where's Salam?"
"She's at her grandparents' house," he said shortly as he sat on the sofa beside me. He took a few deep breaths to calm his heavy breathing. "Sarah said you asked for me. I came here right away after I was done with my duty. What happened? What can I do for you?"
I narrowed my eyes on Hamza, feeling a surge of anger running through my veins. "Why did you hide it from me? Why didn't you tell the truth to me?"
Hamza gaped in shock, not expecting the words from my mouth. "What?"
"You're my husband, and Salam is our daughter. How could you hide the information from me? How could you tell Salam to call me Aunty? How could you—" My rants were halted when the throbs in my head increased. I groaned in discomfort, averting my sight away from his face, who was still in a state of shock.
I rubbed my temples to ease the throbs, but the pain only worsened with the action. "Stop. Please stop," I groaned before falling off the sofa from the intensity of the headaches.
"Salwa? Salwa!"
Hamza's words sounded so distant despite sitting in front of me as my brain began to block everything in my surroundings. Black dots filled my sight as my body succumbed to the pain. The last thing I saw was Hamza's pale face before I felt his arms wrapped around my shoulders.
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My eyes blinked open, and the first thing I saw was Hamza's concerned face and Sarah's worried eyes.
"I'm sorry for everything."
"For what?" I asked, and my voice croaked. Sarah held out a glass of water, which I drank in an instant.
Hamza caressed my hair, smoothing out the messy strands as I put down the glass. "For not telling you the truth, this is the reason why I didn't tell the truth the moment we met. I don't want to hurt you. Besides, you said to me that it would be better if the memories came naturally," he said as it dawned on me as to why I had just fainted.
"But still, it's the most important information," I tried to argue. "How could you tell Salam to call me Aunty? What did she say about it?"
He sighed. "She's very confused with the whole thing. But she agreed to not call you mama or mention anything about our lives when I said it would hurt you if she did."
I looked down at my hands as tears pickled my eyes. Sorrow tugged at my heart when I remembered Salam's cries and whimpers. "She's just a little girl. It must be hard for her. Can you bring her here, please? I miss her so much," I said, grabbing his forearm.
He nodded. "She thought that you got your memories back when you put her to sleep that night. She's been asking for you since that day. That's why I sent her to her maternal grandparents' home instead of here."
"Maternal grandparents? Are my parents here?" I asked eagerly.
A strange look complemented his facial features before he let out a small 'oh'. "No, your parents are in the Chermin Kingdom. Don't worry about them. I've sent a message to them that you're doing well, although I made them promise not to mention your return to anyone else."
I nodded at him. At least it put my heart at ease when I knew my parents were doing fine, although our distance was quite far from each other. "So, if it's not my parents, who is with Salam?"
"I guess you don't remember everything yet. Salam is actually my niece. But both of her parents died when she was still a baby. By the time we got married, she was about a year old. So, we have been her parents for as long as she can remember. The grandparents that she is with right now are my late sister-in-law's parents."
He nodded before pulling me into his embrace. "You don't know how helpless I felt when you had to surrender to the regime. It's a horrible day for everyone in Haniya."
I tightened my hold around his torso. "I don't remember my time at Akkadiyah or things that happened during the siege. But I don't think I wanted to know."
He dropped a kiss on my head, sending butterflies into my stomach. Something I hadn't felt in a while. For the first time in a few weeks, I was where I truly belong. "Don't worry too much about it. Some things are better that way."
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