Giedi Prime, 10186
"Leonara? What's wrong? Why did you come to my room the past few nights?"
Feyd. The most thought of word in her mind, repeated every living second.
Feyd.
I would feel guilty, knowing that I would plunge a knife into your heart a mere two weeks later, she thought in her head.
"Nothing."
He approached her and she stood up, "I must go now."
"Leonara, you have to tell me what's wrong!" He said, his voice breaking. She had not felt his touch in days, and she yearned to just collapse in his arms. She shook her head, "I'm just tired, Feyd."
"Please, Leonara," he begged, his voice breaking, but she merely left him. Like she always did. Like he always did a year ago. Their relationship was back at ground zero.
She decided it would be easier for him to be killed by someone he hated; she wouldn't want him to die heartbroken. She distanced herself from him for the past few days, ignoring him when he sought her and avoiding him when she saw him. Her heart was breaking everytime he said her name, everytime he looked at her with that hopeful glint in his eyes... but it was for his benefit. He would not die in the hands of his lover, but someone he hated. That was the little solace she could offer him.
Guilt washed over her, guilt at knowing what she was to do to him. He had not done anything to her.
Family honor, she thought, I must kill him. For the Bene Gesserit.
The last few days of the wedding preperation went by torturously fast, the wedding looming ever closer. She could barely make it through the days without Feyd's touch, without seeing his smile.
My poor Feyd, she thought. She thought of his smile, so rare it felt like a prize whenever it was offered.
Do not think of those things, she scolded herself, you are to kill him. Do not pity him. She straightened and walked back to Naba.
Amidst the flurry of wedding preparations, there came a moment when Feyd sought Leonara out, his eyes filled with a mixture of concern and longing. He found her standing alone in the garden, surrounded by the fragrant blooms she had once tended with such care. The air was heavy with the scent of jasmine and roses, a stark contrast to the turmoil that churned within her heart.
She's an angel, he thought, staring at her silhouette. He had not seen her for a week. 168 hours. 10080 minutes. 604800 seconds. Too long; too long without feeling her embrace, too long to go without her touch, without seeing her smile.
"Leonara," he called softly, his voice a gentle plea. "Please, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong." His eyes were red-rimmed with a lack of sleep due to worry, and his voice trembled. He was so worried if he had done something wrong- something to displease her.
She turned to face him, her heart aching at the sight of the anguish etched upon his features. For a fleeting moment, she was tempted to reach out to him, to seek solace in the warmth of his embrace. But the specter of her impending betrayal loomed large in her mind, a reminder of the chasm that now lay between them.
If I do, I will only hurt him more.
Her heart ached, threatened to shatter to pieces knowing what she was doing to him. He looked so naive, so hopeful...
"I can't, Feyd," she whispered, her voice barely above a breath. "I have to focus on the wedding preparations."
"Why prepare for a wedding we won't enjoy?"
Feyd took a step closer, his hand outstretched as if to bridge the distance between them. She stared at it, at the fingers that had intertwined with hers times more than she could count. She almost let him do it again, but before he could make contact, Leonara recoiled, her instincts taking over in a desperate bid to protect herself from the pain that awaited them both. She shook her head, staring at his outstretched hand.
"No, please," she pleaded, her voice trembling with emotion. "I can't... not now."
Her words hung heavy in the air, a silent acknowledgment of the rift that had formed between them. He was at a loss for words,
She walked away. Tears pricked at her eyes and they stung. She revelled in their pain, she deserved it. She was breaking him, shattering the man she had promised to build back up. The least she could do was feel a fraction of the pain she was giving him.
Her bottom lip quivered as she fought to regain her composure.
I'm sorry, Feyd.
He stood alone in the newly made garden, his hand limp when it should've been holding hers. Thousands of questions washed over him like a tide, fear for his fiancee. He wanted to collapse. He didn't know what to do; she was always the one whispering instructions in his ear, guiding him in the right direction. He wanted her to tell him what to do now.
"What do I do, Leonara," he whispered, collapsing onto the stone ground, "what has happened to us?"
AN: ugh i am not good at writing angst :skull: Because i feel like when i read angst, i immediately start crying; this didnt evoke any emotion from me ahjhhhh