𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐗
She was everything. From the moment I saw her on that bar stool I knew I wanted her, needed her. Her layered gold necklaces, dainty rings, warm sweater that looked black in the dim lighting, and wide-legged trousers with her black trench coat. Her golden hair swept across her temple to frame her big grey eyes like curtains. Fuck. She was everything and she was nothing like any girl I've ever liked before. She looked down at the bar with a look on her face that made me want to read her mind just to know what she was thinking and when she looked at me I turned weak. Her voice was silk and smooth, from America somewhere no doubt. Her face turned flush when I spoke to her and she avoided my eyes in the most appealing way possible, flicking her gaze back to me and then down to the counter or elsewhere in the room. I could tell I made her nervous but that made her so much more enticing. She was almost intimidating, when you looked at her you were struck with both her beauty and the way she presented herself as on guard and in control, that practically fell when you spoke to her for more than a few seconds, she was so sweet and kind, always offering a small smile. She completely put me off my game. So when she got off her seat saying she saw who she was meeting and walked off, I stood there slightly stunned at our interaction. Snapping out of my trance I got the chips for the table and made my way back to the boys, only to see Charlotte sitting under my bestmate's arm smiling brightly at Nick and Jamie and I fucking panicked. She couldn't be Matt's cousin, not the one he talked about ever since we decided to go to Edinburgh. Fuck, I was just fucking flirting with her! He's going to kill me! But he introduced me to her as his little cousin and I knew I was screwd, there was no way I was ever getting close to her with Matt around.
"Nice to meet you," I told her and she smirked back to me.
"Nice to meet you too," Nick asked if she lived here and she responded with a yes and explained that she went to university here, studying History and Classics. I thought she meant Classics as in literature but she clarified that she meant the ancient Greeks and for some reason that interested me more when it came to her, it wasn't at all what I was expecting from her. Fuck I asked her why she chose history and ancient Greece and the way she spoke about the two made me want to learn everything about it as long as she was the one teaching me. It was a short answer she gave and quickly changed the subject making me think she didn't like talking about herself much, she asked about the band and the boys answered most of the questions and I asked her what her favourite song of ours was. After a bit more conversation-making, Matt asked her something I hadn't even thought to ask.
"So, cous'," Matt started out loudly. We were definitely the loudest table as usual. "Do you got anyone?" She smiled looking away with a laugh and the rest of the boys all laughed.
"Oh, God, Matthew," She said chuckling to herself and for a second I thought she was going to say that she'd found someone that she had a thing with and my heart started slowly sinking. "You know me...," She chuckled again. "I don't have anyone," She shoved Matt's shoulder playfully and I let out a quiet breath of relief.
"Miss independent, are you?" Jamie asked teasingly making us all laugh and she nodded.
"Yeah, Miss Independent, that's me!" She chuckled and I glanced at her with a soft smile and caught her quick glance towards me too. Those glances kept me on my toes all night.
When she went to the bathroom I took it as my opportunity to go have a smoke and clear my head. When I got outside of the pub I took a deep breath and let my mind roam, lighting a cigarette and taking a drag. What the fuck is happening to me. This isn't like me. I don't just go fucking... I don't even know. What the hell has she done to me? I'm fucking hanging off of her every word, fucking admiring everything she did, the way she did everything. God, there was something with me. My first cigarette was finished quickly and as I was lighting myself another, the door to my left opened, and out came Charlotte, breathing heavily with her eyes closed. Before I knew it, I offered her a cigarette and scared the shite out of her. When her hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards the edge of the building, I didn't want her to let go. She made me promise not to tell Matt that she smoked which made me laugh, it was funny she had to hide her habit from her older cousin and I'm glad I could help her hide it. In the light that the moon cast on her face she looked like an angel or a siren and her hair looked darker, her eyes shone brighter with the reflection of the moon. In return I asked her not to tell Matt that I flirted with her, knowing full well he'd probably kill me. She started a game between us and by the end of the conversation, after I'd convinced her to give me her number, I knew she had me wrapped around her little finger. We left the pub a half hour after Charlotte left because she had work the next day. On the ride to the bus, I couldn't stop thinking about her.
~
Matt hit his sticks together counting us down and Nick, Jamie, and I started playing lazily, it was just rehearsal and we were messing around cause we'd been at it for so long.
"Eh!! Charlotte!" Nick said cheerfully. I whipped my head in the direction he was waving and saw Charlotte walking in, smiling and waving in a little black flowy dress, a black leather jacket, and a pair of Mary-Jane-looking heels.
"Oi, you're late!" Cook yelled loudly as she was still across the stadium.
"Not my fault! Matt's the one who called the cab and told them when to be at mine!" She yelled back and continued her way towards the stage. She smiled at me once she got closer and leaned her arms on the stage looking around and back to where Matt was on his drums.
"Shut up, at least I called you the cab," Matt countered making us laugh and I leaned down to Charlotte, and held out my hand to help her up as she was closest to me. She smiled, thanking me before taking hold of my hand, turning around, and pulling herself to sit on the stage with her other hand helping her. She turned and I pulled her standing.
"Thank you."
"D'you decide to play rockstar today then?" I asked jokingly as I leaned down and switched out my pic. She laughed shaking her head.
"I don't only dress like a grandpa," she joked back. "Nice instruments, guys," She said looking at Nick's base, Jamie and I's guitars, and Matt's drum set. She wandered over to Matt and gave him a hug from the side before wandering around again and looking at all the guitars lying around, I was still deciding which guitar I wanted to play. "I'm impressed, Matt. You've got a real band," We laughed knowing it was just a jab at Matt and I glanced over to her seeing her intently looking at my guitars.
"D'you play?" I asked, she shook her head smiling shyly at me, clasping her hands behind her back.
"Nah, I used to," She shrugged and I smiled at her more, licking my lips.
"Grab one an' come over here," She went to protest but I urged her on. She rolled her eyes playfully and picked up my black acoustic, putting the strap over her head, it hung far too low on her making me laugh lightly and she pulled it up to where she was comfortable with it.
"I was being honest, I haven't played in 10 years," She said softly, wondering closer to me. I wonder why she hadn't played in so long but I didn't want to press. She pressed an e minor down on the strings, strumming gently.
"Well, it's like riding a bike," She started strumming a few more cords and I moved closer to her. "There you go, see?" A smile grew on her face slowly and she got a bit more comfortable.
"Do you know, um," She bit her lip and I smiled, matching her rhythm. "The Smiths?" I grinned at her. The fucking Smiths, I knew it. She started strumming Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want. I smiled at her, watching her play happily, humming along to the words. She moved around in circles and her voice along with her soft strumming was beautiful.
"Oi, Lottie, d'you know anything happier?" Matt teased making us all laugh.
"Are you kidding?!" Matt shook his head chuckling. "No, I know Bowie, though," She quickly switched to Moonage Daydream. We all started laughing before someone came to the front of the stage and looked at us with a clipboard in her hand.
"Alright, boys, time to go get ready," I took my guitar off my head and Charlotte rested my acoustic back onto the stand, standing around awkwardly as we left the stage but I heard Matt tell her there were some chairs in the back she could sit on while she waited for the show to start.
~
"How's Edinburgh doin' tonight!?" I asked as we settled ourselves on the stage. There was a loud cheer and I repeated myself getting a bigger cheer and from there we started the first song. The whole show I was stealing glances down in Charlotte's direction, I saw her swaying to the music, singing along to the songs she knew. It was adorable and the way she moved to 505 had me weak but the look on her face when we played songs like Piledriver, Black Treacle, Only Ones Who Know and Cornerstone was something I'd never forget.
"Thanks for 'avin' us, Edinburgh. We love you!" I sent a kiss out to the crowd and glanced over to Charlotte who was cheering and clapping gleefully. Nick and Jamie started leaving, Matt next, telling Charlotte to head to the back of the stage and I sent a kiss out to the crowd one last time before running backstage.
"Matthew, that was so cool! That was amazing, guys!" I walked in to see Charlotte hug Matt before punching his arm and then moving on to hug Nick and Jamie. Before I knew it she'd turned to me and wrapped her arms around my neck softly. I was quick to wrap my arms around her. She was soft and it was a great hug but she pulled away too quickly. I noticed her swallow awkwardly before turning back to the others.
"Everybody up for a pint?" Nick asked. We all cheered and went to get our things. We ended up going to a nicer place than the other night, where it was much quieter and we could hear each other talk and ourselves think. We all order a pint of our choice except for Charlotte who order a glass of red. You could tell we were all a lot more relaxed than on our first night in Edinburgh but we were still the loudest table.
"Where do you work then, Lottie?" Nick asked.
"Oh, I work at a Vynil record and bookshop," For some reason that job fit her personality perfectly. "It's actually really nice, I always find what I want to read there,"
"Well if we need a new record we know where to go," Jamie said, making her laugh lightly and I thought of the strokes album I'd left at home that I could use as an excuse to go see her at her work tomorrow. She glanced at me before quickly looking away and biting her lip in a way that I couldn't help smirking at.
"Are you guys looking forward to Ireland?"
"Yeah, we're excited! We've been before but Dublin's really cool," Matt answered for us, saying exactly what we were thinking.
"I've always wanted to go to Ireland. It's so beautiful," Charlotte smiled, I smiled back getting an idea.
"Come with us! We have loads of room, right boys?" I blurted out and quickly glanced at Matt, he looked at me oddly for a second.
"Yeah! That's a great idea!" The others said enthusiastically and she smiled shyly.
"Well I'd love to, truly. But I've got a trip abroad for my second semester that I really don't want to miss," A trip abroad? Matt hit her arm as we all stared at her a bit shocked.
"You got a trip abroad?! That's great! Where?!" She giggled looking down.
"Um, Greece," A giddy smile spread across her face. "And I worked my ass off for it and I've got to keep my grades up cause I'm not missing it,"
"Damn right, you aren't!" Nick agreed. "Fucking Greece, that's crazy," We'd been to Greece once already and it was incredible and Charlotte seemed so excited to go.
"That's amazing, Lottie," Matt pulled her into a hug.
"Greece is amazing," I added in, wanting to be in as much as the conversations we had with her. She looked up at me with a look of shock on her face.
"You've been to Greece!?" She said excitedly, we all smiled nodding.
"You'll love it, especially cause you're away cold," Matt told her. I'd noticed that too, she was always shivering or hugging her arms to her body. Along with always being cold, she was always tired, she yawned so much during our times at the pubs I thought she was going to just pass out. She laughed shaking her head at Matt.
"Somewhere hot," I could picture her in Greece, on the side of a blue pool or on a white sand beach. It was only another hour before Charlotte declared she had to go home because she once again had work the next day and didn't want to be out much longer but we convinced her to stay a little longer.
"How was your first Arctic Monkeys gig?" I asked her, genuinely curious.
"I loved it, it was amazing. I can't wait to get the other albums so that I can listen to them all the time," She leaned on her arms on the table and smiled at me.
"Do you have a new favourite?" I asked with a grin. She smiled slyly and took a sip before looking around, I could tell she was thinking about it.
"Maybe. I think I've got to listen to them a few more times to make up a favourite," She shyly tucked her hair behind her ear.
"So I've got to earn an answer," I spoke with a smirk, receiving one in return.
"Maybe," She repeated. Her lips were Cherry red from the wine and the way she bit her lower lip got me thinking about how she would taste. "You're really good at what you do," She started and the way she spoke in a timid way made my heart soften.
"Thanks, love. I'm sure you're very good at everything you do, too," She blushed looking away.
"Thanks, Al," Al. Fuck, I didn't think it would sound so good coming from her lips.
"Al? Does that mean I can call you Lottie?" She grinned from ear to ear, blushing. She pushed her hand against her cheek before pulling her hair from behind her ears and pushing her hand through her hair.
"If you want to, you wouldn't be the first," She shrugged, and I licked my lips leaning back in my chair.
"Say Al again," Her mouth opened and shut and she turned the prettiest shade of red.
"A-Al..." She murmured then regained a bit of confidence. "You be careful, you know, big ol' cous' is sitting right there,"
"What do you mean? I'm not doing anything that I have to be careful with. I'm just calling my friend by her nickname," I put on an innocent act and she laughed shaking her head. I knew it was time I stopped flirting so much or I'd catch Matt's attention. I took a sip of my beer to prepare myself for a change in topic. "Why'd you stop playin' the guitar?" She looked at me with soft, wide eyes and opened her mouth to answer before ultimately, I think, changing her mind.
"I-I just got really busy with school and at the time I'd just moved and it was a bit difficult and it started to feel like more of a chore than anything, I guess," She shrugged, sipping on her near-empty glass of red. "I play piano too, only in the past few years though," I raised my eyebrows at her.
"The piano? Are you as proficient on the piano as you are on the guitar?" She laughed bowing her head.
"Somewhat, I'm not sure, really. Do you play anything other than the guitar?" I nodded humming.
"Piano, for practically as long as I've played guitar." She smiled and tilted my head. "And a bit of everything," I mumbled at the end.
"How long is that?" I watched her watch me and I glanced at Matthew.
"Um, well-" I was cut off by Nick yelling.
"Helders!" We both whipped our heads in their direction and he realized his mistake. "Uhhh... O-older Helders!" He corrected and we all laughed, Charlotte and I turned back to each other.
"As long as Matt's been playin' 'is. We got our guitars the same Christmas when we were twelve," I watched her mouth spill open and a smile twitch at the corner of her lips.
"I-I remember that. I wasn't there that Christmas but I remember my mum received a video of Matt playing his new guitar and you could hear my aunt's voice over it saying that he and his best friend both got guitars for Christmas and that was him practising," I raised my eyebrows, smiling gently at her to see if she'd go on. "That was you, wow," She smiled down at the table.
"That was me," I smiled at her and she continued to look at the table.
"Wow, that was a long time ago," She bit her lip shaking her head. "I-I was seven." She clarified why she was so shocked. "I don't usually remember that much so far back," I laughed lightly. So far back.
"You're what, 22? Not that far back," She scoffed with a wide smile and I laughed harder.
"It is too that far back! And I'm turning 23 this year for your information," She rolled her eyes playfully. "God, I don't have that well of a memory it's all taken up by your lyrics now," She joked, rolling her eyes again. I laughed shaking my head.
"Love, that's not that far back," I repeated myself, she shook her head at me smiling and checked her watch.
"Oh, fuck, it's late. Jeez, I've got to get home, I open tomorrow," She downed the rest of the red before turning to Matt, tapping his arm. I felt a small pit form in my stomach. "Matt, I've got to go. Can you call me a cab?"
"Oh yeah, yeah. Here," He pulled out his phone and some cash as Charlotte stood pulling her coat from the hanger. "Take this for the cab, we've got the bill," He held the cash out for Charlotte as I pulled out my pack of cigarettes, not ready to say goodbye yet.
"Matthew, no," Lottie said looking at him with a sad look.
"Take it, take it," He shoved the money into her palm and we stood as she pulled her leather jacket over her arms.
"Thanks, Matt," She hugged Matt's waist before Nick and Jamie and I told them I needed a smoke so I'd walk her out. Charlotte only smiled weakly at me and let me walk her out of the building. Once outside I offered her a cigarette and lit both our cigarettes up. "Thank you for walking me out and the smoke, even if it was just so you could get a smoke," She murmured as we stood on the side of the road.
"Wasn't just so I could get a smoke," I smirked at her and she blushed looking away, nodding her head. We didn't say anything as she waited for the cab Matt'd called her until we saw headlights turn down onto the road.
"Thanks again, Al. It was so great seeing you guys play," She murmured and I nodded.
"I'm glad you could come. See ya later, Charlotte," The cab pulled up in front of us and she smiled sweetly at me before hopping in. We waved to each other as she told the man her address and they drove off, leaving me in the cold with my bloody thoughts again.