"𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕥 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕝𝕤 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖..."
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ "𝕋𝕖𝕖𝕟𝕒𝕘𝕖 𝔽𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣." ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙
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"Suzuya? What's the answer?" Aizawa sighs.
It's final period, I have about ten minutes left after that shit show at lunch. My knee won't stop bouncing up and down, I drag my eyes up to my teacher, obviously not having heard a word he said before my names was called.
Aizawa's setting me up with tutor soon enough anyway, so I can catch up on all I'm missing regardless of whether I pay attention right now or otherwise.
"Seven." I say, just wanting to get the answer wrong so he can move the fuck on and let me scheme in peace.
Aizawa thins his lips into a line before smacking a hand up to his face. "This is History class." He sighs, realising that I haven't listened to a single thing he's been saying for the last fifty minutes.
I'm pissed. I don't think people understand, I used to not talk to anyone, yeah, but that doesn't mean I didn't have a thought running through my head. I grew up surrounded by a socially stunted big sister, a bratty older brother, and a mom that I almost never saw.
Best believe, I'm a fucking menace.
People don't get to talk to me like shit. That girl doesn't get to talk to me like that. But, I'm a morally responsible person, I won't smack someone younger than me, that just feels like bullying. Reina's only been at this school for a few weeks, anyway. It's not fair to beat on her. She'll change, she'll grow, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.
What I have a problem with... is that her words must've spawned from somewhere. It's her sister. Jina. That's where she got all that information from, and that's led to Reina blowing it way out of proportion.
Jina is Atsuya's girlfriend, so why is she telling her little sister all this shit about our family? Doesn't she owe Atsuya a little bit of loyalty? Or at least the courtesy of not making our mother seem like a bat-shit crazy woman.
Another ten minutes pass, and nothing but pure, diabolical planning runs through my head. I get it, I'm not being fair, Katsuki was an asshole to me for a whole year and I never exacted evil revenge upon him. But Katsuki also never went out of his way to dig up my personal matters, he's just violent.
And I smacked him anyway, he got what he deserved and has changed because of it. He's grown since then, he can now say a full sentence without a cuss word!
But, if Jina's actions go unpunished, then who's to say what else she might say about my family? It's different, Jina actually owes Atsuya kindness, they're dating. But instead, she's just spewing out a bunch of our family secrets behind my brother's back. And this is how I find out?
The bell, signifying the end of the school day suddenly chimes through the hallways, prompting each of us to suddenly take a stand. I huff to myself, swiping everything from my desk into my bag before hanging it over my shoulder.
I take one single step to my right before reaching my arms out to Ochako, who stands behind her desk, glumly closing up all of her notebooks.
Before she has the chance to realise I'm on top of her, I curl my arms around her torso, stuffing my head into the crook of her neck as I lean down ever so slightly. Ochako's eyes widen as she glances down to the top of my head. I'm taller than her, by a fair amount now, so she almost never gets to hug me from this angle.
I know something's up with her, and I'm tired of waiting around for her to feel good about herself again. I need my best friend. And I know that's selfish, I know I'm asking too much of her. But if she won't tell me what's bugging her, then I won't let up on trying to make her happy.
"Please smile." I sigh, knowing that nothing but her giddy grin will lift my spirits right now.
The girl chews at the inside of her cheek for a moment before huffing out a breath, finally giving in and returning my hug. I feel the corners of my lips beginning to twirl up at the sensation of her warm grasp wrapping around me.
"You've always got something to worry about, huh?" The girl chuckles down to me halfheartedly. I shake my head, letting out a small laugh before pulling myself up from her hold.
"The only thing I'm worrying about is you."
And when the best time to fight someone is.
"Then stop." She sighs with a tilted grin. I roll my eyes, she knows that's a stupid thing to say, I can't just stop worrying about her. I'll never not worry about her, if it weren't for her... I'd be an entirely different, weaker person.
"Can I ask you a question?" I ask, leaning back against my desk as the room begins to clear out.
"If you're gonna ask me what's wro—"
"I'm not." I deny, prompting her brow to raise as she reluctantly nods her head, encouraging me to ask away.
"Will you still like me if I beat someone up?" I mumble out, letting my hands rest back onto the desk behind me.
Ochako blinks to herself, stiffening up in silence for a moment too long, until... finally, a smile breaks out on her lips. A real one, a big one, one that I'll never brush off or forget about.
There's my girl.
"Who?" She snorts, lowering her head to hide the way her eyes squint in amusement. I said it too nonchalantly, too easily, as if I really mean it.
"Someone who deserves it." I shrug, nudging my head to encourage her to follow me out of class.
Ochako sighs out a humoured breath to herself before reluctantly doing as I ask, pulling her bag over her shoulder before trailing after me as I shove my hands into my skirt pockets.
"Did you sleep during lunch?" I mumble down to her as she treads her way beside me. The girl glances up to me from the corner of her eye before nodding. I sigh to myself, relieved that she doesn't look quite as glaringly miserable as she did before.
I really can't put my finger on what's making her all sad. I mean, it can't be that she's upset on my behalf, I got over it, she should've by now as well. It has to be something else.
It was after Izuku showed us Jina's instagram...
My brows furrow as I attempt to come up with any reason that Ochako would have to get down on herself about that. It can't be jealousy, Ochako's way prettier than Jina is. Even on her worst day, it's no competition.
That being said, I think my best friend's the most beautiful girl I've ever had the pleasure of gazing my eyes over so I admit that I might be biased.
"I'm going to Atsuya's college tomorrow, so... make sure you don't spend all day in your room, 'Kay?" I hum mindlessly, huffing out a breath at the thought of her secluding herself because of this thing that's bugging her.
I fail to notice the way Ochako's shoulders suddenly flinch up at the mention of my brother's name. Her eyes drop to the ground as her steps come to a glum slow.
"I should only be there for half an hour..." My sentence comes to gradual stop when I realise she's no longer walking beside me. I raise a brow, turning my head back at an attempt to find her.
And there she is, her hands clenched at her sides, her head lulled to the ground, no longer even bothering to walk.
I come a stop, leaning my weight on one leg before tilting my head. I don't know what's bothering her, I'm not a mind reader, but I can only think that...
"Sorry... I... I just think I might like someone else..."
She told me a while ago. She doesn't like Izuku anymore, they're too good at being friends for it to be anything more. There's someone else that's caught her eye, someone who drew her attention.
I genuinely don't know what else to think...
"Is it Bakugou?" I hum, a slight curve coming to my lips.
I'm just wondering, it'll be probably be funny to find out that all this time she's had a crush on Katsuki. They don't seem like they'd be close, but I did see them talking the other day, and whenever I seem to not be paying attention, they send each other glances.
I thought I was being paranoid, but maybe I was right to suspect something. It doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would, to learn that my best friend might have a crush on the boy I finally got close to after so long...
I thought I'd be more irked by it. But, in truth, I can't see myself actually getting mad at Ochako over a boy. I want Katsuki to be mine, I know I do, and I wouldn't back off if she wants him too...
I'd just... live with it.
Ochako's brows furrow downwards as her hair brushes over her profile, her head still planted downwards. I let her sit with the question for a while, I wasn't specific, but I feel like she gets what I'm asking.
I wait for a moment, until I notice her shoulders jolting up, her hands shaking by her sides. My eyes widen, my feet immediately carrying me over to her before I swamp my arms around her.
"Don't cry, Chako... C'mon, I don't care. Really, I don't—" My attempts to soothe her fall on deaf ears as she suddenly wipes the back of her hand over her nose, chuckling stupidly to herself.
"Ama... You don't know how much easier this'd be if it were Bakugou." She shakes her head. I lift my head off from atop hers, blinking my eyes down to her.
"So it is a boy?" I mumble to myself before returning my focus back to her. Reluctantly, she lifts her gaze up to me, her eyes a little pink in their corners, small damp patches around her lashes as her nose burns in shades of red.
She's even cute when she cries...
What fucker made her feel like this?
"Who?" I practically beg the answer to fall from her lips. My brows furrow down as I latch my hands around her shoulders, shaking her gently to will the truth out of her. It hurts me to see her be so unlike herself, so downtrodden when she's usually filled with nothing but light.
Over a boy? That's not right. No one should make her feel like this. Let alone some nobody that pales in comparison to her perfection.
Ochako hastily wipes away the evidence of her cracked facade before thinning her lips, glancing down for a moment before letting her eyes settle on mine.
And it's in that second, that I watch a false smile pull at her lips, a lack of light entering her eyes despite how convincing her features may be. I realise now that... she won't tell me.
"I- Wh- Did something happen? Why can't you—" I attempt to understand.
Ochako shakes her head softly, simply brushing off the concern before stepping around me, emphasising that the two of us should return back to the dorms.
"C'mon! I'm fine, Momo's making dinner so it'll be early." She urges me, kicking herself off before bouncing back to the dorms.
I tilt my head to the side, watching as she grows further and further away from me, walking on a complete lie.
"You said you told me everything..."
— ♡ —
A sigh passes my lips, my phone pressed up to my ear as I hear the constant ringing of a call trying to connect. Another thirty seconds of silence fill my bedroom, and then, for the tenth time in a row, I hear:
"I'm sorry. You've reached voicemail, please leave a message after the bee—"
My brows quiver upwards as I lower the phone back in front of my face, ending the call and trying all over again, pressing the same contact and pulling it up to my ear, expecting a different outcome this time.
"C'mon, pick up." I breathe out to myself, hearing the voicemail message yet another time. My eyes barrel closed, a tightness coming to my throat.
Please, mama...
I end the voicemail message, chewing at the insides of my cheeks as I stop my brows from furrowing.
My mom is great, she's special, she's the only person I would ever want to be my mother in another life. I'd choose her over and over again. She's just not there much, and that's okay, I understand why.
I know what happened to my mom. It's alright, none of that affects me now, it doesn't affect any of my siblings. But I feel like no one else should be entitled to know about it. It's ours. Our family. Knowing what happened is to be in our family.
I let my eyes drift down to my phone screen, all of my contacts staring back at me. I let my thumb swipe mindlessly, until I see—
'Dad.'
Letting my eyes linger on that name typed out on my screen for a while too long, I furrow my brows before locking my phone, eliminating stupid thoughts from entering my head.
I stuff my phone under my pillow, removing the temptation altogether before manhandling Little Sukuna and stuffing him between my boobs, leaning my chin atop his angry head.
I'm stressed, if that isn't obvious. Ochako won't tell me who's got her panties in a bunch, Atsuya's girlfriend is the world's biggest snitch when it comes to Suzuya secrets, and I'm just... left to deal with all of it.
I miss when I thought Katsuki Bakugou would be the biggest of my worries. But weirdly, he's been easing off me, as if he can tell that I need space. I'm sure three months ago, he would've followed me around and yelled at me until I told him what was up my ass. But he seems... calmer, recently.
Which is a blessing and a curse. It's easier to tolerate him when he's being quiet but... I love violent Katsuki. I get butterflies watching him beat someone up, or yell at a stranger for no good reason, or punch holes into walls because they looked at him funny.
That doesn't sound right, does it?
— ♡ —
Pacing down the hallway, Bakugou takes a left turn, making his way to Ochako's bedroom in search of answers. Noticing Jirou sending him questioning looks from the other end of the hallway, he suddenly sneers at her, prompting her eyes to roll as she turns away from him.
Katsuki slows his pace down, letting the purple haired girl pass him before he glances back at her, watching her turn the corner. He sighs to himself in relief before practically shoving his whole fist through Ochako's door.
From inside, the girl suddenly flinches to herself, clutching at her pearls before cautiously stepping to the door, wondering if an elephant had escaped from the zoo and showed up at her dorm room.
"How can I help?" Ochako squeaks, not eager to open the door after the violent pounding on it.
Katsuki rolls his eyes. "Open the door, I don't want people to think I fuckin' know you—" Before he can spew out his insult, Ochako opens the door, deadpanning up at him.
"You're a real nice guy." She mumbles blankly, prompting his brow to raise.
"Tell me about it." He snickers, pushing past her and making his way into her room without a second thought or invitation.
She thins her lips into a line, closing the door behind him once she realises that she really has no choice in the matter.
"So what were you cryin' about? You finally tell Amane you wanna fuck her brother?" Katsuki chuckles to himself, enjoying how much easier he has it compared to her. It's probably harder to deal with me once I'm pissed off, rather than trying to get with me.
"How'd you know I was crying...?" The girl mumbles in confusion, narrowing her eyes at the blond who simply stares at her obliviously.
And it's then that Ochako's realises...
"Jesus. You're always watching Amane?" The girl shivers, a cold chill running down her spine. Katsuki tuts to himself before shrugging his shoulders up. It's normal for your eyes to always search for the person you like... but it's probably not so normal to follow them around like a stalker.
Eh, what she doesn't know won't kill her.
"So? Why'd you sob like a little bitch?" He quirks his head to the side, urging the answer out of the girl. Ochako's brows furrow, huffing her cheeks out in annoyance.
"Nothing. And by the way, I don't wanna—"
"Fuck him? Yeah, sure you don't, and I don't wanna fuck Amane." Katsuki shrugs smugly, shutting down her refusal before she had the chance to finish it.
"You sure seem happy." The girl glumly groans, stomping her way over to the bed before face-planting into it. Bakugou hardly spares her a glance, instead focusing his gaze onto the framed picture of Ochako and I, sat atop her desk.
The boy's eyes narrow at the sight of me looking so... different. It must've been taken last year, because I look like an entirely new person now.
I wore glasses sometimes back then, he remembers making fun of them at the time... and I stopped wearing them.
My hair used to be long, almost down to my waist, he used to yank on it all the time to irritate me... then I cut it all off.
I didn't have my ears pierced, and now they're practically covered. I used to wear a baggy sweater under my school jacket, an ugly beige one that was kind of worn and tattered but it was comfortable, it covered my shape entirely. I left it on the back of my seat one time when I went to the bathroom... Katsuki threw it out of the window and I never saw it again.
Ochako's groaning falls on deaf ears as Bakugou's brows suddenly furrow at the sight of that younger girl staring at him through the picture frame, as if she still blames him for everything that he did to her.
I should. I should still blame him. Everything I've changed about myself, did I only do it because he made it almost impossible not to? Did I do it for his sake? So that he'd stop tormenting me? So he'd see me differently?
Bakugou shakes his head when Ochako calls out to him, his eyes dart over to her impatiently.
"She said she's gonna beat someone up." The girl chuckles, as if assuming that it'd just been a silly joke that I made to cheer her up. Bakugou blinks out of his thoughts, suddenly stepping over to her.
"Who?" He interrogates, prompting her brow to raise.
"Pfft, 'someone who deserves it', she was just tryna get me to smile." The girl waves him off, shaking her head with a small curve of her lips. She's happy to have someone that'll go out of their way to try make her feel better.
Katsuki's eyes widen, his heart racing behind his chest as he begins to place the pieces together, until a clear picture of my motives finally comes together right in front of him.
"Oh, fuck." The boy grimaces, unable to brush away the thoughts of me possibly getting myself into a situation I may not be able to crawl out of.
If I really mean it, if I'm really going to try fighting someone... Katsuki can't help but assume that Reina would be probably more be in my... 'weight class'. So to say, images of me getting my ass handed to me by a college student are suddenly running through Katsuki's head.
"Huh? She wasn't being serious. Amane's not like you, she doesn't just punch at her problems." The girl laughs sarcastically, prompting his brows to furrow down at her.
"What else did she say?"
Ochako narrows her eyes, wondering why he's so serious all of a sudden. He can't really think I was being serious, I wouldn't ever beat someone up. It's not that Ochako thinks I can't, I probably could, but it's just that I wouldn't...
Would I?
"She's going to Atsuya's college tomorrow..." The girl tells him, watching in confusion as Katsuki's brows furrow inwards.
"Shit... You know how to drive?"
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