𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄
I think that the way to anyone's piece of mind lies in the ability to watch the rain fall around you and let everything you've done in your life fall off your shoulders for a while. There's something in the way it drizzles or it pours that binds with your soul on such a level you can't compute with anything anymore. You become consumed by the feeling of the drops on your skin, slowly soaking into your body like cleansing gold, by the fresh scent of grass growing and water on the pavement, by the sound of it hitting your skull or a glass window or your wall or the roof of a car. It's hypnotic if anything, it has the power to drain your thoughts and to clear your mind and it has the power to drown you in emotion and tears. But it's there with you either way.
I still believe that. The soft drops of heaven will always be my therapy. And I believe that it is partially for that reason that the United Kingdom has always drawn me in. And partially why the University of Edinburgh has always been the university I've wanted to go to. I consider myself the luckiest person in the world to be able to study in Edinburgh having come from a less than financially stable family in a whole other country. I worked my arse off to get here and win all those scholarships.
As dedicated to my studies as I am, I'm not perfect, god knows I'm not perfect. I've undoubtedly texted during class a few times and got distracted by Pinterest while I was studying, for a good hour before getting back to it. So when I was sitting in my usual spot in the library with the history book I was doing my project on at that moment and I got a text from my favourite cousin, you can assume my attention to my project had flown completely out the window.
Favourite Cousin
Matt
Hey, Lottie, up for a pint?
Me
Up for a pint? What do you mean? Are you in town?
Matt asking for a pint made my heart jump out of my chest, if he was in town I would jump at the chance to see him again. He was always so much fun to hang out with and I haven't seen him in a year.
Matt
I'm in town! Not too scholarly to hang out with me now, are you?
Me
Course not! When will you be here?
I felt a grin rise up my face. I'm so fucking excited now, no more studying could possibly get done today.
Matt
I can go out tonight if you want, we could go to a pub
I don't care how tired I am, I'm not missing out on my only chance to see Matt.
Me
It's a plan.
Matt
The nudge?
The fucking nudge? Who the fuck does he think I am.
Me
First of all, you think I have the fucking money for the nudge? Second of all, why so posh?
Matt
Alright alright lol The same place as last time with the nice Fish and Chips I had
Me
Better, that place is do-able
Matt
Great, see ya tonight then, 6?
Me
Six it is
End of text stream
I didn't know I let out a squeal until I looked up and saw a few other students staring at me. I quickly shut my phone and turned to my books but found I was unable to read now with all the anticipation. That was truly it for studying today. At least I got a decent amount done. My books and papers were messing shoved into my bag after they'd been stubborn to go in and I lost my patience I threw my wool coat on before my bag and made my way out of the old library with a slight skip in my step.
~
Before going to the pub I dressed a bit warmer and a bit cozier, in one of my dark grandpa-patterned sweaters tucked into my wide-legged trousers and a belt, along with my black boots to go with them. It was bloody cold and rainy so I also wore my black trenchcoat but I never bothered with an umbrella. I walked to the pub, knowing exactly where it was in town and it was only 10 blocks from my flat. We went to the same pub last time, Matt and I, when he'd come to visit two years ago since then I went down for a Christmas and that was the last time I saw him. Although it was a year ago, I knew where it was and I didn't get lost. The place was crowded and so loud I didn't know if I'd be able to find him in the crowd but he was fucking tall so after a scan of the place I guessed that he wasn't there and took my seat at an empty stool at the bar.
"'Ello 'Ello, love. What may I get you?" The bartender asked a red-haired man with the sleeves of his shirt rolled up who seemed terribly busy with everyone asking for drinks. I felt on the spot all of a sudden and blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
"A-A Guinness? A half-pint, please," Surprised by my own answer as I'd usually go for a glass of red, the man just smiled and served me before the other men waiting. I smiled back and glanced around the bar another time before taking a sip of my drink.
"Hi," A deep voice sounded from rather close to me that I didn't recognize. A man came and stood next to me, he seemed around my height or taller with brown fluffy hair in a quiff with a curl on the top of his head and a sharp jawline with big brown eyes that could only be described as puppy dog eyes. I've got to say, the eyes almost didn't match the mostly black outfit he sported; black jeans, a white t-shirt and a leather jacket. But it fit together nicely, you could say he was cute at the very least and the 50s greaser look was actually hot. I met his eyes but quickly looked away as I knew a small grin was rising to my cheeks along with a blush.
"H-Hi," I returned and tried to suppress my smile as I looked back at the man in front of me. He smiled back at me and leaned an arm on the bar.
"I'm Alex," He introduced himself, holding his hand out for a shake and I took it.
"Charlotte," His hands were soft but his callous fingertips brushed against the base of my palm and I guessed he played an instrument or worked with his hands a lot. What was crazy was that I hadn't broken eye contact yet and usually by now I would've shied away into the corner away from their eyes. But holding contact meant that I noticed when his expression changed to one of confusion with a raised eyebrow and I knew the next question.
"Are you from here?" I smiled to myself. Not only was I right but he had such a perfect voice that it made me giddy to hear the same question I get asked every time I speak.
"Um, I'm from Canada, but I live here," I shrugged and remembered I was still holding his hand.
"Oh, wow, that's a long way from here," I nodded along laughing. He licked his lips, glancing away before looking back at me and popping a question. "Listen, I'm here with some mates of mine, wanna join us?" He offered, making my eyes widen and I almost felt bad for having to say no.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm actually waiting for someone to meet me here," I finally let go of Alex's hand and I saw his smile slightly fade.
"They can join us too," He offered once again. I laughed feeling flattered.
"I don't think-" As I was telling him I didn't think so I saw Matt's head over the crowd and I smiled widely. "Actually, I see him right now, I've got to go," I looked back to Alex and saw him frown slightly and I felt even worse. I smiled sadly at him. "Maybe another time. It was nice meeting you," I hopped off my stool, half-pint in hand and weaved my way through the crowd to Matt who was looking in the opposite direction.
"Matt!" I called, he saw me and I hugged him tightly and he laughed hugging my small frame back.
"Lottie! Come, we've got us a table," I didn't address the 'we' when he said it and just let him guide me through to his table where there was less of a crowd but two other boys sitting in the booth. "Lottie, this is Nick and Jamie. Boys, this is Charlotte, my baby cousin," Matt pointed to them as he named them and I smiled, reaching out to shake their hands, Nick first as he was closest to the edge and Jamie next.
"Hello, favourite cousin," I corrected and they laughed as Matt let me scoot in before he did. I was between Jamie and Matt now.
"And we're missing another, he'll be back though he was ordering the food," Matt finished introductions and I smiled.
"You must be the bandmates then, right?" I asked and they both nodded smiling.
"I'm on the bass, Jamie's on guitar," Nick cleared for me.
"Matt, I hardly think she's a baby, she's drinking a Guinness," Jamie joked, making us all laugh but Matt simply glared at him.
"She's my baby cousin," I looked at Matt with furrowed brows.
"I'm not even the youngest of the cousins, Matthew," Nick and Jamie laughed.
"I like her, we can keep her," Nick declared making me giggle.
"I agree!" Jamie said cheerfully.
"Ah, finally the chips are here," Matt said and I couldn't lie I was starving, my stomach grumbling and everything but I didn't look at where he was looking.
"Eh, where are you from?" Jamie asked.
"Oh, Canada! I was born there and all but my mum's Matt's aunt," I explained to the two and they nodded with oh-shaped mouths. A tray with two massive bowls of chips was placed on the table. I looked up expecting to see a complete stranger but instead, I saw the same guy from the bar, Alex. He was watching me closely and I could tell he was wondering what I was doing here.
"Al, this is Charlotte, my cousin. Charlotte, this is Alex, our frontman, singer and another guitarist," Matt introduced us and we nodded to each other reaching out to shake each other's hand and I smiled at him. He sat down in the seat across from Matt and next to Nick and glanced at Matthew before taking a sip of his pint, they all had pints when I'd arrived already.
"Nice to meet you," He said over the sound of the pub and I smirked slightly.
"Nice to meet you too."
"Alright, boys- and lady," Matt said and I grinned at him. "Why don't we make a toast?-"
"To Charlotte!" Nick said making me laugh and we all lifted our glasses and they said 'To Charlotte'. I couldn't help laughing at how ridiculous hearing others toasting myself was.
"Do ya live here then?" Nick asked.
"I do, yeah, I got to the university," I nodded.
"Not failed yet?" Matt asked and I shoved his shoulder though I knew it was his way of asking how it was going.
"No, not failed yet. No, it's going pretty good."
"What are you studying?" I heard from the other side of the table from Alex. He looked at me like it was the most interesting thing and I grabbed a chip to help distract myself from his gaze.
"Um, Majoring in History, minoring in Classics," I smiled, glad he was talking to me still.
"Classics as in literature?" Jamie asked quickly and I glanced at him.
"No, Classics as in the ancient Greeks," I sent him a reassuring look so that he'd know it wasn't a stupid question.
"What are you gonna do with that?" Nick asked. I shrugged with a shy smile at all the attention.
"Work at a university or in a museum or something. Now, enough about me," I rolled my eyes playfully. "Matthew, have you got yourself a bird?" I looked at him with an inquisitive brow raised and the group chuckled as he laughed nervously.
"Maybe..." My jaw dropped.
"No... That's crazy!" I exclaimed and heard the others laugh. "Matt, you do not," I shook my head.
"He does," Nick answered and I smiled and hugged my cousin.
"That's great! What's her name?" He patted my arm and I scooted back.
"'Er name's Breana," He blushed slightly and I awed. "Shut up," I laughed with the rest of the boys and we turned the topic. The night went well, I asked them about their music, their albums and how the band was doing.
"What's your favourite song?" Alex asked.
"Well, I've only got your first two albums, um Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not and Favorite Worst Nightmare. Out of those, I'm not really sure, though," I laughed shaking my head. "I love Mardy Bum but I also love A Certain Romance, Fluorescent AdoleAdolecenty Ones Who Know and 505," They all smiled at me making me laugh, it wasn't much of an answer. "I'll have to listen to the rest of your albums and get back to you on that one, I guess," I conquered, nodding to Alex who only smiled at me and took a sip of his pint.
"Let me get them for you, eh? You're family so you get them for free. You only have the first two?" Matt asked and I nodded with a big smile. I was defindefinitely happy I got to have the rest of their albums, I didn't have the money to buy two more albums but I've been wanting to listen to their new music because I loved the songs I'd listened to.
"Thanks, Matty," The whole night Alex and I would steal glances at each other, every time I'd look at him he'd already be looking at me. We'd send each other smiles and smirks that made me blush. I couldn't help smiling the whole time, the boys were so much fun, I was with my favourite cousin and Alex made me giddy like a schoolgirl, I knew I'd still be smiling tomorrow and that my cheeks would hurt so much. The Guinness stopped at my second or third half-pint, I really didn't feel like drinking much when I still had to walk home.
"How long are you in town?" I asked Matt as he and Alex came back with more drinks.
"Um, just a few nights, unfortunately," I felt my face fall. "But we're staying in Scotland for a bit, Glasgow is next, before heading over to Ireland," He sat down and threw his arm over my shoulder.
"You should come to the gig we're playing tomorrow," Jamie said loudly, Nick and Alex agreed.
"Yeah, we'll make a little VIP spot for you in front of the crowd even," I haven't ever seen them play in person and this way I'm sure I'll get to hear some of their newer songs.
"Are you sure it won't be a hassle or anything?" I bit my lip in anticipation.
"Course not!" Matt, Nick and Jamie said in unison making me laugh lightly. They then went on to tell me stories of odd gigs where someone would throw something at them or yell something absurd or of a crazy fan and we had a right good laugh at that. About an hour or so in I had to go to the washroom, leaving the boys at the table to shove my way past the small group of people that were up to leave but were taking their time. The bathroom was small, and dark, it didn't have any windows and the toilet looked a bit dodgy to sit on. After doing my business I realized just how hot and stuffy it was in the pub, deciding I needed to get some fresh air. That's exactly what I did, I shoved through the doors of the pub and took a deep breath, the chilli air flooding my lungs and blowing against my face. I closed my eyes and just breathed for a minute.
"D'you smoke?" Alex's voice startled me out of my thoughts, making me jump. "Didn't mean to scare ya," He chuckled and I looked at him, he had a cigarette between his lips that I so desperately needed between mine, standing with a small smirk.
"I do actually," He held out a cigarette from his packet and I walked towards him. "Just-" I cut myself off, looking inside but I knew Matt would see us if he looked over. "Come over here," I waved him to come closer to the edge of the pub and I stood against the wall and Alex stood in front of the window so that they didn't think he ran off. "If Matt found out, he'd kill me," Alex laughed and handed me the cigarette, quickly lighting it and I took a deep drag, letting it go and leaning against the wall. "Thanks."
"Any time," We stood in silence for a minute as we both took a drag and I realized how close we were standing making me blush. Then it hit me. They're best friends, what if he tells Matt?
"God, please don't tell him! He'd kill me!" I panicked lightly and he laughed a bit more.
"I won't tell him, I won't tell him. Your secrets are safe with me, love," The word 'love' sounded so different coming from him. It was smooth and soft and I wanted to hear it a hundred more times as long as it was to me. "As long as you don't tell him about what I was doing back at the bar," He smiled at me and I quirked an eyebrow at him, knowing very well what he was talking about but wanting to hear him say it. "Don't tell him I flirted with ya, 'e'd 'ave me 'ead," I grinned and giggled as he laughed slightly.
"That was flirting?" I joked back and he smiled shaking his head. He blew the smoke of his cigarette away from me and I thanked him silently because it meant I'd smell less of smoke.
"Well, I admit it wasn't my best flirting," I raised my eyebrows at him, I thought it was great flirting, if he'd asked for my number I would've given it to him in a heartbeat.
"I'm not worthy of the best of your flirting abilities?" I continued on and he licked his lips, knowing what I was playing at.
"Course you are, I was just stunned by how beautiful you are that I couldn't push my flirting abilities to be better," I blushed looking away, trying to contain my smile and he smiled widely back at my reaction. I bit my lip.
"Well, I hope I get to witness the true power of your abilities someday," I continued on joking and he made a sharp inhaling sound.
"I'd love to show you them but I'm not sure how your dear ol' cousin will take me full-on flirting with his baby cousin," I laughed, shaking my head.
"That's a shame, I would've given you my number back at the bar if you'd asked," I found myself admitting before I could stop myself and my cheeks flushed with realization. Where did all this confidence come from? He licked his lips once again, something I was quickly becoming addicted to watching him do.
"Did I miss me chance?" He asked slowly, leaning in closer. I smiled widely.
"I mean... with dear ol' cousin inside...," He shook his head laughing. I knew I probably shouldn't give him my number. He was Matt's best friend and I'm not sure if he'd forgive me for it, not only that but I'm not sure he'd forgive Alex for asking me for my number.
"Right," He nodded and looked away but he was still smiling despite basically being shot down.
"How about I give you my number as your best mate's cousin instead of someone you met at the bar?" I knew what I was doing and I almost didn't want to do it. I was basically pushing us into the friend zone, worse even probably, best mates family member zone. He sighed dramatically.
"I'd love that, darlin'," I nodded smiling and took another drag as I held out my hand for his phone. He gave me it with a new contact already open and I quickly typed in my information, putting my name as 'Charlotte, Helders' cousin'. "I don't think I need 'Helders' cousin' to remember who you are, love," He said once I'd given his phone back to him. I smiled back at him and stubbed out the last of the cigarette before throwing it in the bin near us.
"See you inside, Alex. Thanks for the smoke," I smiled at him and waved as I pushed myself off the wall and wondered back into the noisy pub. That was probably the best part of the night for me, Alex came in soon after and smirked at me slyly. We resumed conversation as normal and I'm not exactly sure what time it was when I remembered I had work the next day and that I should be heading home to get some rest.
"Everyone up for another pint?" Nick asked and the boys all agreed and as he was standing I stopped him.
"Actually, I should be getting home, have work tomorrow." Nick, Jamie and Matt made a resounding sad plead for me to stay making me laugh. "I do, I've really got to go," I said again as picked up my coat off the bench beside me.
"D'you walk 'ere?" Matt asked as he stood from the seat letting me slide out.
"Yeah, its alright though it's only a ten minute walk," I shrugged my coat on and looked around at the boys, Jamie and Alex then getting up too. "It was nice to meet you all," I was sad to go, it was so much fun with them.
"It was nice to meet you too," Jamie pulled me into a hug, taking me a bit by surprise but then Nick did the same after Jamie let go.
"Yeah, we're looking forward to seein' you tomorrow," I smiled at them and looked to Alex who looked a little less happy than before.
"Nice meeting you, love," He said and shook my hand again. It felt more appropriate than a hug for some reason.
"See you tomorrow, Lottie," Matt pulled me into the last hug and when he let go I waved to them all and made my way out of the now somewhat quiet pub into the completely quiet street.