"Some friendships die away but that doesn't mean they didn't hugely touch you or have an impact on your life. Cherish that." I smiled as everyone did the same. Belle Adams, the other writer who sat across from me smiled at me fondly.
"But I understand that it's hard. All that is easier said than done, right?" I asked as I got swept away in my speech. Everyone nodded watching me intently as I got lost in my thoughts.
"It's bittersweet because of course it's okay that you're both thriving. But he used to be who you'd call if you had a secret. Someone who would always make you laugh when that was the last thing you felt like doing. Someone who made you feel seen when you were invisible to everyone else. And now he's... someone else and so are you. And now your friendship is... complicated." I expressed as everyone hung onto my every word.
"The poets, the singers and the authors write about romantic love when it ends. But never about friendships. That's what motivated me to make this book and to have these characters go through hardships that many of us may face." I finished trying to turn the subject back onto the point of this huge event as people began to clap.
"How do each of you deal with rejection?" A teenage girl asked us as I gave the opportunity for Belle Adams to answer not wanting to talk and answer more questions than her.
"Being rejected is much better than never taking a risk and thinking 'what would've happened'. It's better to be honest with them and yourself and to try and fail than to regret never trying at all. Life is meant to be lived; we all can't worry about getting our heart broken. It's inevitable and that's what true creativity and inspiration stems from." The other author, Belle, answered as I felt a grip on my heart from her words.
"You both write a lot about healthy and unhealthy relationships. What quality do you think is the most important in a loving relationship?" Another person asked as I was beginning to become overwhelmed with all of the romantic and life questions and the feelings it caused within me. I thought I was ready to jump back into my life here head first but clearly I was mistaken.
"I believe many relationships would be a lot healthier if we romanticized honest, open and direct communication. You don't need someone who can read your mind, you just need someone who's willing to listen when you speak. Who knows everything about you and notices the little things about you. When you're frustrated and upset and know how to make you smile and can take away some of the burdens." Audrey Wickham, another writer sitting in the plush chair explained into her microphone.
Tears collected in my eyes as I began to get choked up.
"Just like my characters, Lola and Steven when she was going through problems with her parents and Steven was the only one who noticed something was troubling her at home." She turned the conversation onto her book.
I looked down into my lap as I struggled to keep myself together and focus on the things around me rather than Aaron.
"So, this really isn't book related but I was wondering if Bethany was seeing anyone new yet. Seems like there's something about your new book that's different than the previous ones you've written. Has anything in fact changed?" A young woman asked with an intrigued smile as everyone nodded and muttered in agreement.
The question took me by surprise as I thought intensely on how to explain away my sudden heartbreak with Aaron.
"I am perfectly fine on my own. I don't need anyone to live a good life. Relationships aren't for everyone and shouldn't be the main goal in everyone's life. And it's okay to be single." I started as she began to frown clearly, not appreciating my honest answer.
"But sometimes... Yes. I-I do wish I had a partner who would be there for me. Someone who would let me sit in the passenger seat from time to time, someone who would take me in their arms when times get tough. Instead of it being me on my own I would like to have someone who would make dinner when I am too tired or too preoccupied with work to get up and eat. Someone who can remind me of the positive things when I'm spiraling. Someone to marry and start a family with. And someone I can hold onto and share my life with. Everything that everyone dreams of having." I reminisced as everyone cooed and looked up at me fondly.
"But there's also nothing wrong with being alone. You shouldn't constantly look for another person as if you're missing something from your life. They aren't your missing piece and we don't need to be made whole. We already are whole all on our own." I finished sternly as someone else came up behind the woman at the podium.
"What if you've already found them?" Aaron's voice boomed throughout the audience.
His wide eyes met mine as I struggled to see him through the bright fluorescent lights. "Aaron?" I squinted, struggling to see him as the lights shined in my face.
"What if you don't have to look for that person in your life? What if she's been standing right by your side your whole life?" He spoke anxiously into the microphone. "What- What is this? What are you doing here? Did you travel all the way here?" I looked around nervously at all of the confused, murmuring people.
"Please just be quiet and let me get through this. I've practiced this the entire trip coming here and I've been dreaming of this moment since we were kids." Aaron confessed as my lips parted looking around anxiously.
"Bethany Loughrey..." He smiled up at me fondly as my heart fluttered. "You have been one of my closest friends since we were five." He began.
"And just maybe if any of you here can look yourselves in the mirror and know that you have been half as good a person to someone else as Bethany has been to me... Then you too can be considered great." He began never tearing his determined eyes away from mine.
"What are you talking about? What are you doing?" I continued to question him, frustrated. "Since the moment you made me laugh, you've had this effect on me. I was an idiot for keeping my feelings to myself for all these years." Aaron ignored my questions.
Everyone in the audience murmured to themselves with wide smiles staring at him. Aaron never took his eyes off of me as he took the microphone off from the stand.
"But you intimidated me." He laughed breathlessly as if he had sprinted here all the way from Alabama.
"You've always been this sarcastic, hilarious, confident person who never cared for what other people think. Every time I saw you I lost my mind. Looking at you makes me stupid." Aaron smiled in complete adoration of me.
"You don't need me to make you stupid." I retorted almost involuntarily. Aaron chuckled into the microphone making my mind go blank.
"I told you to be quiet." Aaron pressed low into the microphone making me fill with heat. Rolling my eyes trying to hide my emotions. "The whole point of this event is for me to speak." I retorted.
"What are you doing here?" I repeated frustrated hoping this wasn't another game or another opportunity to argue. The was not the time and definitely not the place.
"Doing what I should've done years ago." He answered, coming closer to the stage. Everyone "aw'ed" making my lips part. "What-"
"I love you. I'm in love with you." Aaron cut me off with a determined look on his face. My heart swooned as my mouth hung open never before hearing those words come out of his mouth. I've imagined it so many times but I never thought it would ever actually happen.
Am I dreaming? Is this just a cruel joke from my subconscious?
"I'm in love with the smallest things you do. How you look while reading and how your hair frames your face perfectly." Aaron jumped on stage effortlessly as he inched closer. "The way you bite your lips when you studied. Your comforting laugh that always seems to make me forget all my problems. How perfectly your glasses used to rest on the bridge of your nose. You're wonderful and enchanting." My heart raced, our eyes fixed on one another.
"You're almost unnoticeable dimples when you smile. The wrinkle on your nose when you're angry or have been thinking too hard. Like right now." He continued as he ignored everyone around us staring at him.
"Do you want me to call security?" Belle whispered as Aaron inched closer to us onto the stage. All I could do was shake my head weakly, unable to speak.
I was tangled up in awe and longing unable to comprehend what was happening but I definitely didn't want it to end.
"You are my first love, I saw you thoroughly and truly fell in love with every part of you. I had the biggest crush on you when we were toddlers and it only continued to grow stronger. No matter how much you drove me absolutely insane and your insistent need to always be right... I still couldn't keep my distance from you. You've always been in the back of my mind wondering if you're happy here." He continued to speak into the microphone for everyone to hear.
"All the things that could have gone differently. It just took me decades to realize and gain the strength to finally tell you. And although I tried to keep you at a distance, I have never forgotten the impact you've had in my life." Aaron inched closer to me as I slowly stood.
"What... What about Tara?" I asked, looking around at everyone's eyes on us. "We broke up. We didn't want the same things." He explained loosely his desperate eyes trained on me.
"How could we ever be together? All we do is argue." I asked softly. "We drive one another crazy. Every conversation that we have ends in a fight. How could we ever be happy?" I continued looking up at him full of heartache.
"Desire is often tied to extremes of emotion. The quickest, easiest, and dirtiest of emotions is anger." Belle smirked into her microphone making me turn to her in disbelief. "The sexual tension while fighting is something we all have read about!" The woman who previously asked a question yelled through a bright smile.
I scoffed wishing Aaron and I weren't having this vulnerable conversation in front of hundreds of people. Aaron smiled, ignoring them as he continued.
"I looked for you in every relationship I've ever been in. But you're the only woman I've ever loved like this. You're the real thing. All these miles away with the memories of our time together. It's been so frustrating and painful. But my only regret is that I didn't tell you that I love you sooner."
"I'm crazy about you, Bethany. And that has not and will never change no matter how many time we may argue with one another about stupid things." He confessed as a soft smile formed my face at all of his kind words. I've never seen Aaron this nervous or vulnerable before.
"And I would love to finally take you out on a date." Aaron finished, his eyes were fixed anxiously on me waiting for me to say something. Looking around at everyone's eyes staring up at me wondering what I would do or say.
"Please say something. I don't think I've ever seen you at a loss for words." Aaron smiled nervously. "Who knew this would shut you up I would've told you a long time ago-" Aaron said before I grabbed his face and kissed him.
Eliminating the distance between us holding his head and pushing his neck closer wanting to feel every inch of him. Aaron's hands grabbed my waist, clutching my back pushing me forward into him.
For once, I allowed myself to not think. Grabbing Aaron's shirt and pulled him towards me, closing the gap between us and kissing him passionately with everything I held for him.
It wasn't a light kiss, not at all. It started that way, but we deepened as much as we could. He eagerly touched me, pushing my hair away from my face. We both smiled into the kiss, and I wondered if I ever knew a better feeling. I've never kissed anyone like this before.
I felt his strong hands roam my waist as I continued to hold his face. We only stopped kissing when we were both out of breath, but didn't break apart. He put his forehead on mine until we heard applause making me jump.
"Oh, God." I couldn't help but smile pulling away from him slightly to cover my mouth. "Let's get out of here." Aaron growled into my ear as I turned to Audrey and Belle, the other two authors being questioned.
Their mouths hung open staring at us, mostly Aaron in his attractive fitted t-shirt and jeans. "Uh.. I-" I stuttered. "Go with him!" Dylan, my assistant yelled from the sidelines. Everyone in the crowds clapped and agreed, making me laugh. I breathed grabbing his hand as we ran out of the event.
I couldn't stop giggling as we rushed to the car and drove off. Turning to him, unable to take my eyes off him as he drove, concentrating on the road with a wide grin on his face.
Our end hadn't been pretty, but now, being with him and looking in each other's eyes, it didn't feel strange - it felt right. Like I was finally where I belonged. Unable to hide my foolish, lovestruck smile I broke the comforting silence.
"Now what?"