Chione's PoV
The ticking sound of the clock beside my bed kept me awake from dusk until the sun rose up.
I cried myself again.
I probably look horrible right now.
The attic was warm, and the sweet singing of the birds could be heard from my bed.
The Lazuellan Mansion was three stories up and three stories under, but the trees were gigantic enough to still reach the window of the huge attic.
It felt like a perfect day for everyone else that is awake during this time, unlike for me.
This is the day I cursed again and again. The day that I woke up from death.
The only escape I have from an abyss only to wake up to another.
And like every day, no one even came to serve me.
This time, everything feels real, real.
I sat on the bed, feeling the moist air behind me, I let my feet touch the familiar dirty carpet of the bedroom.
It was something I almost forgot about, as I had successfully left this exact room and lived with Zephyr in my last life.
Seeing it makes me remember where I came from.
I need to take a bath and clear my head.
Even though I am perfectly fine now, I feel as if there is blood around me. Relentlessly flowing from my neck down to my feet.
That fishy stench whose color is bright red.
As my feet entered the water-filled bathtub, the coldness traveled from my feet and slowly up to my neck.
I held my head up high even though there was no need at all.
There was just this one time when I died on the water out of overthinking.
I unconsciously fell asleep in the bathtub and didn't know that I had already drowned until I opened my eyes in the room I woke up in earlier.
The feeling of drowning is the very same feeling of dying but with less pain.
Or maybe my mind was too clouded so it was less painful.
I woke up like I did earlier.
After that, it took me a long time and I found it very hard to convince myself that I needed to wash myself even when it's hard.
Just like that, I enjoyed the bath and continued to overthink. Truth be told, in this lonely life, overthinking became my hobby.
If I escaped now, I would have enough jewels to sell.
Bringing them all will look suspicious that's why it may be better if I wear simple but pricey earrings, rings, or necklaces.
I should also put a bracelet on my ankle.
Even when it can't be seen, I can still pawn it for immediate money.
The Lazuellas won't even notice a penny gone from their riches. It is because those were still accessories from a very long time ago, accessories from when I was still a beloved child.
If they forgot about a person like me, surely they'd forget a mere piece of jewelry.
All I need to do is just to run far away from this family and place.
Who cares about being their daughter anymore?
If they'll take an orphan in and throw it just like garbage, they shouldn't have reached out for me in the first place.
When I was a beggar, I starved all day long, I even went as far as drinking rainwater. That was why when they asked me to be with them, I didn't think twice about accepting their hands.
They treated me well... the Duke and Duchess are such great people.
I didn't know what happened but my brothers broke the picture of those two people.
They never accepted me as their sister.
For them, I was just a substitute meant to be thrown away once the Duchess and the Duke rid of their miseries when they lost their first child.
But the Duchess and the Duke loved me so much to the point that they reprimanded Kaiver and Keister for their actions and treatment towards me. And the two hated me more and more.
"Lady Chione." I opened my eyes when I heard the stutters coming from the doorway.
When I raised my head to look at the door, it was already opened without my permission.
It makes me so irked and irritated but I am not in the position to reprimand her.
I flipped my hair towards the back and looked at her irritatingly.
But the fact that I am just a person who wandered and was lost within this house, that I don't own anything, and knowing that they own me allowed the maid to act nonchalantly.
"Hmm?"
"The Duke and the Duchess asked for your presence during breakfast." I blinked.
I forgot about that.
I was so caught up in reminiscing about my last death that I completely forgot about the next day of my death.
Every first day of the month, the Lazuella Family always holds their breakfast, dinner, and lunch together. It was to make sure that even during their hectic schedule, they could still see the faces of one another.
"Sure." The maid didn't bother answering me back, she didn't even bother serving me or at least taking care of the essentials. "Dea."
"Yea?" An irritated tone escaped her mouth.
How impolite. Really.
"Prepare the carriage. I'll be riding to town."
"Yes." Is the word 'yes' all that she can say?
It's not like it matters anymore since I am gonna run away.
But imagine talking to a broken phonograph record.
It seems like I'll be fixing myself up all alone again.
Maybe it's also a blessing that no one helped me clean up after myself.
Because of the cold treatment from the Lazuella family, their personnel treated me as an outsider rather than a master.
With that level of care, no one will even notice the plans I wanted to make.
Or if there was any change in how I acted.
In this house, my existence is really less than the garden worm.
Will they be happy?
I will be gone from their lives, from the life that was meant to be their real daughter's. I will make sure that we won't meet, and that I won't leave any footsteps behind.
And that Chione, myself, will surely grow old without a half-sister, she'll be with her loved one that is herself, and she'll accept death lonely but happily. Without drama, worries, or competition.
In the first place, all of these were hers. I just borrowed it, and soon, I will return it.
Maybe it's also what she really wanted in the first place. Which is for me to step backward.... and that she created that curse so that I will change and humble myself.
If I do this, maybe I will die without being problematic about waking up on this day again.
I left the bathtub with scattered thoughts and proceeded to prepare in the bedroom.
*****
"Tch. Why should I even do this? If you weren't here I would have been free from this."
The familiar clicking of the tongue, the hostile voice, and the red hair that was reflected in my mirror made me heave out a small sigh.
Keister Lazuella. The second son of the Lazuella family, the one who hated me the most, the first one who killed me. Hotheaded and always hostile, his blazing red hair fitted his personality.
"You shouldn't have bothered then," I said after putting on the plain necklace with a diamond pendant.
Amongst all my belongings, it was one of the most expensive ones.
"Hah! You think I can, you trash??" He shouted, not trying to hide the fact that he hated me and my existence. "That diamond doesn't even suit you. You're too dull." He smirked as he leaned by the door frame.
"Oh really?" I looked at Keister's reflection in the mirror. "I guess that does make us twins then."
Similar to mine, Keister's hair was a deep shade of cardinal red, and his and mine's eyes were like polished pink rubies.
"I am not delusional like you." He hissed. "Just go down now! Do you think you're that important?" He said through gritted teeth. "No one will even look at you."
And yet you had the time to look at me and comment on what I wore.
I breathed. I need to control myself. I don't want this ordeal to be lengthened.
No matter what I answer him, he will treat me the same. I'm cold when he's hot, and when I'm hot, he's cold. We always had a conflict of personality.
But I must stop myself for now.
I planned to erase myself in their lives, I should start by lessening my reactions and presence when they are around.
He might be the first one to party upon knowing that the 'fake' child of the Lazuellas suddenly disappeared leaving no traces behind.
"That will end soon Keister."
"Hmm?" Kei gave me an arrogant glance. It looks like he didn't catch what I said. That's better.
I stood up from the mirror where I fixed my appearance and walked towards where Keister was.
He walked away first and I followed behind him.
His large strides and my short strides widened the gap between us.
The path that we walked toward the dining room was super quiet. The fact that it was one floor below didn't make it any better.
Creeks from the old house resounded with every step.
It was like that, and yet, the silence was echoing all over, almost defeaning.
But it didn't matter.
If one of us speaks, it would be another clash and we'll probably trash this place out once again.
We broke a door in one of our worst fights.
Kei knocked on the acacia wood leading towards the dining room.
I curtsied while he walked straight into his seat without even giving a greeting.
"Good morning." I greeted them simply, not daring to call them by name.
Ever since the day they decided to turn their backs away from me, I never felt as if I was even worthy of accepting the privileges they gave me.
But I did spend their money a lot.
As I said from earlier, I hoped they'd show care by pointing out my mistakes.
However, it looks like I was the only one who thought like that.
"Take a seat Chione." The duchess said dearly.
Even when I am not her real daughter, she's educated enough not to stoop as low as these bastards with us.
How did she live in this house with such an angelic attitude? How was she able to smile amongst these devils?
That was because the devils in front of me love her.... cares for her.
Just looking at them makes me see how I do not fit in with the people in front of me.
I always held them dear, but not all feelings can be reciprocated.
For sure no one would even think about my existence once I leave. And if there would be one, what would be their reason to find me?
No one wanted to keep me in this family. It also looks like they forgot about me even when I was still here.
Once Challie is back,
They would be a happy family.
I sat on one of the chairs, following etiquette properly and trying to hide my annoyed expression.
The food that we were supposed to eat together became a theatrical play wherein they were the actors and I was the only watcher.
Kaiver was talking about business, as for the other son, he was talking about how good he is with his sword skills.
Then the Duke and Duchess of Lazuella happily listened to their musings.
It was always like this. I was the sole audience who needed to stay seated until this boring movie ended.
"Ahh, the princess's coming-of-age ceremony will take place soon." The duchess suddenly said. She turned to look at me. "We should buy a new dress for you to wear Chione."
I gulped up the tender meat I was chewing when the other three pairs of eyes shifted towards me.
"She already has a lot of dress mother! Don't you think that it's just a waste of money to dress up trash like her?" Keister retorted as if on cue.
Oh? Someone like me?
"Should I wear a garbage bag?" I can't help but answer sarcastically.
"You should." Keister replied, finding it funny.
"As much as that fits you, it can't be helped." Kaiver added.
"Everyone!" The Duchess gave a warning tone. Her fork clacked and clung as it landed on the table.
"Tss!"
"Don't address Chione like that!" And as if nothing happened, she looked at me again. "Me and Chione will go downtown later. That's final."
It's like they are talking about a doll meant to be dressed up only for show. For them, I was an object.
Look at them talk without even hearing me speak.
"Maybe a dress is enough to cover that uneducated being."
"Kaiver." This time, it was the Duke that called him out. I frowned.
Will it be me again who will be the cause for this show to end?
"But it's real, isn't it? We let her study as a child but she still acted like that at the last ball."
Ahh.. so it was about that again.
He surely can't move on.
At the last ball held within the palace, I poured a cup of red wine into the head of Marquis Hollieveimer's daughter.
The current princess of this empire is my closest friend, the only one who had not betrayed me in all of my lives.
As we talked in the sitting room, the daughter of Marquis Hollieveimer dared humiliate my friend in front of the other ladies, telling about how she is a child of a second wife.
But my friend was too kind to even give a fuck about those bitches.
So I shamed her in front of everyone during the ball.
Of course, I told her that it was an accident. But as she left, I also stepped on her dress which caused her to kiss the floor with her red luscious lips.
Quite the befitting sight since it's as low as her.
I had an earful from Zeta after, saying how I approached the situation wrongly and saying that I should have just let it be.
She was so harsh and yet embraced me for defending her.
I was already prepared though, saying that,
"What's the loss if I, a duke's daughter will lose face? It would be much better for someone who already had a bad track record."
I was just solving a scandal with another scandal—while helping my dear friend in the process.
But of course, I could not escape the eyes of the octopuses that kept following that girl. They made it look like my fault and they ganged up on me saying that I did it on purpose.
What could one girl do against that many?
Then again, our reputation was tarnished. The princess tried to explain but I stopped her. I do not want to bother explaining since all ears are closed off already.
Like these people in front of me, my words are already useless.
"It's fine Mother."
Mother... such a sweet word but I feel numb whenever I speak of it.
"I can reuse some of my dres—"
"I don't want to hear any of this." Kaiver cut me off. "What would be the next talk of the town? We can't even dress the leech in our house?" He snickered.
The moss green eyes turned darker by the passing minute.
"Enough Kaiver!" Shouted the Duke, he then looked at me with the same green eyes Kaiver had, but unlike Kaiver's, his was dark and devoid of any malice nor fondness.
"You should shop with the Duchess, Chione. Many nobles will be invited. You should be there as well."
I breathed. It seems like there's nothing much I can do.
And so it seems we will be going out.
I played with the food on my plate as a scenario played out in my head.
Fine, I guess. They won't see me after today anyway.
That just makes my life easier.