Golden sunshine flows into the bedroom like a cascading waterfall. Bathing everything in warm, ethereal light. As Elon opens his eyes, his breath catches in his throat, flooded with feelings of happiness and relief. Ariana is lying beside him, her tiny hand gripping his arm as she sleeps. The sun shining on her blonde hair makes it glow like a halo.
She's a vision. A beautiful daydream, but so wonderfully real. Tears well in his eyes making the image of Ariana waver like a dream. He blinks them away. She's here, she's actually here. Not a dream or fantasy or wishful thinking, she's right here. Images of last night float through his mind. A kaleidoscope of beautiful memories. And the hope of a future together.
Elon remembers her words. We could be good together. He wonders what she meant by that. Are they an official couple? Or is it still yet to be decided? By nature, he is not a patient man. He will work harder than anyone to meet his goals. But that doesn't work with relationships. It has to be mutual. And he can be too much. Too intense and too demanding. So many ruined relationships in his past.
He is afraid of pushing too hard, but even more afraid of not making his feelings clear. He can't bite his tongue. He'd rather die than be silenced. If he doesn't tell her how deeply he feels, if he sits in complete silence, then he can never be free. He would be trapped like when he was a quiet, lonely child. No, he won't go back to that. He'll have to find the balance.
As softly as he can, Elon gets out of bed and heads to the restroom, grabbing his phone on the way. With the door closed behind him, he faces the barrage of notifications. He opens up X and scrolls through his feed. The sheer volume is staggering. He sees their first kiss from nearly every angle. The response is overwhelmingly negative. Where he saw their differences as complementary opposites, yin and yang, everyone else saw oil and water.
There were the typical speculations. That he was paying her and she was putting on a front to get her Tesla stocks or cash or whatever. There were people guessing that they were both trying to make their exes jealous or going out as a pure publicity stunt. Memes on how rad that new roadster must be to be willing to go that far with Muskrat. Classic. Jokes about checking off 2024 insanity bingo. And oh so much more.
Elon was ready to pop off on some of the more colorful insinuations, but he really has to pee. His internet sparring would have to wait. The momentary break from social media helps clear his head. Maybe best not to write anything without talking to Ariana first. Not that he was used to checking in with anyone before his posts, far from it. Countless board members practically begged him to curb his social media usage, and all to no avail. Fuck those guys. But this is different. This isn't just about him. It's about Ariana too. And the fragile bond between them.
Like so many things in his life, it is a delicate balance that could fall apart at any time. And so Elon did for her what he would not do for all the S.E.C. or board members in the world. He would wait, and make sure she approved of what he would write. Hopefully her thinking of him being hot when he's mad would also apply here. A man can only hope.
Sleeping naked definitely has its perks he thinks as he hops into the shower. Although he hates to wash off her scent, he definitely doesn't need to go to work today smelling like sex. Once finished and dressed in clean clothes, he steps back into the bedroom. Ariana is sitting up in bed, the sheets pooling around her tiny waist. Her brow is creased as she scrolls through her phone. Elon feels a pang of guilt and sadness. He cannot protect her from the internet's harsh words and criticism. Even as those thoughts threaten to bring him down, she looks up and smiles at him. Just like that his heart soars.
"Good morning, beautiful," he murmurs. Coming over to plant a kiss on her forehead.
"Hey there, big boy." She responds, setting her phone back on the bedside table.
Elon doesn't want to talk about public opinion right now. No creased brow or down-turned lips. Instead he caresses her golden hair. "Are you hungry? What do you want for breakfast?"
Ariana shrugs. "I usually just do a smoothie in the morning."
He nods. "I can do that. Do you like bananas, oranges or strawberries?"
Those beautiful eyes smile up at him and he knows he's the luckiest man on earth. Her voice is so vibrant and joyful. "Strawberries! They are my favorite!"
He chuckles. "Good. I'll go heavy handed with the berries then."
She stretches languidly. "Thanks, I'll be right out. I think I better take a shower too. I feel like I need scalding water to wash away all that negativity online."
Elon nods and hums in agreement. He heads to the kitchen to give her some privacy as well as make breakfast. As soon as he opens the internet, he sees their images on the news. Yikes. His impulsive kiss had felt so right in the moment, but in retrospect he should have waited. Not the consequences of his actions coming back to bite him, again. Fuck it. He may have regrets in life, but kissing Ariana sure as fuck isn't one of them. Doggedly, he refrains from social media as he looks up a smoothie recipe.
When Ariana joins him at the kitchen table, Elon thought she was wearing a white dress. With a laugh, he realizes she has one of his dress shirts on. The starched cotton went all the way down to her knees, and she had cinched one of his belts around her waist for a more form-fitted look. It actually looped around her waist twice, and he wonders if that says more about how tiny she is or how big he is.
Ariana sips her smoothie as she scrolls through her phone. "Have you seen the internet? It's insane. We're even on the local news."
Elon nods his head in confirmation. "Yes, it looks like we've created quite the sensation."
Ariana glances out the large windows. "I'm surprised they haven't sent out helicopters to swarm your house."
Elon shrugs. "This isn't my house."
Her eyes snap back to him. "What?"
He grins and shrugs again. "The house belongs to Larry Ellison. I sold all my mansions and most of my belongings in 2020. Larry lets me stay at his houses when I'm in California or when I visit him in Hawaii. We've been friends a long time."
Ariana nods slowly then sets her phone down, a serious look in her eyes. "We need to talk."
Oh no. Elon feels his heart lurch. Their tenuous relationship is already under fire and she is having second thoughts. No more postcoital oxytocin to make everything seem rosy.
She clasps her hands and continues. "I think we need to define our relationship, both with each other and what to say to the media."
"What would you suggest?" He tries to keep his voice calm and not betray his nerves.
"To be perfectly honest, I didn't think we'd get this far. I thought we'd both kind of use each other for sex, then go our separate ways. But after we met, things escalated..."
"Yeah, that's one way of putting it." He really wishes his heart would stop racing.
"So after we started talking then I was thinking that we could be friends with benefits, or something like that."
He hates the idea. Friends don't have sex. At least he doesn't. How can you separate those feelings? Can't pretend like she doesn't mean more to him. "My friends don't know the way I taste."
Ariana bites her lip. "Or how you feel inside them."
His dick twitches but he's too stressed for anything more to happen.
Ariana shakes her head as she continues. "You're right, we're past the point of casual. We can't be friends."
Elon hesitates, unsure if he should tell her the truth. How deep his feelings are, how much he wants to be with her. He is afraid that his words will be twisted and turned into an argument. It happens so often in his life. The thoughts in his head don't always translate well to words. Words can't convey everything he thinks and feels. It is all too much, overflowing in him until he feels like he is drowning. He manages to swallow past the lump in his throat. "So where does that leave us? I'd like to be more. To be serious. I'm not afraid of commitment."
She looks up at him and there's tears in her eyes. It breaks his heart. Her voice is small as she says, "I'm afraid of loving you."
"What does that mean, Ari?" He hates that his voice cracks at the end, but he can't help that now.
Ariana sighs and wipes away her tears. "In all my relationships, I'm trying to escape being alone. I shouldn't be that way but it's true. I don't want a boring life but I also don't want a lonely life. I'm afraid that I'll fall in love, but you'll be so busy with your companies that you'll have no time for me. I'll be lonely again."
Elon feels his heart plummet.
It is the same problem that has plagued every relationship he's ever had. "You're right, Ari. I spend much more time on my work than I do on my relationships. I've given so much of myself to my companies that I'm inextricably bound. They're part of my identity. Linked to my mission. I want to create a hopeful future for my kids, and for humanity in general. I can't give them up, not even for love. I try to make enough time for my partner, but it's never enough."
Ariana stares at him. "I don't think I was expecting you to be so real with me. Most people make all sorts of promises early in a relationship, then reality hits and things change."
Elon shrugs. "I'd rather us be on the same page. Think about it this way, would you give up music for your partner?"
She shakes her head. "No."
He leans forward. "Exactly. You're so supremely talented and your voice is truly inspiring. You have a gift. It would be a tragedy if you didn't share your gift with the world. It's not just a job. It's part of you. It's a passion and no one can take that away. Maybe it's not a perfect comparison, but that's kind of how I feel with my work."
Ariana nods slowly. "I didn't think you'd understand me."
Elon sighs. "I may think differently than most people, but I try to understand where people are coming from. And I do understand feeling lonely. When I was a child I said to myself "I never want to be alone." That hasn't changed. I don't want to be alone. I hate going to bed alone. I hate not having someone to love. And I. I–I really want to love you." Is it too much? He hopes he's not pushing too hard.
Ariana looks out the window, contemplating his words. "Even if we understand each other. I don't know if that will be enough. We're both not very good at relationships even at the best of times. How can we make this work?"
He swallows, trying to think of the right words. Maybe there are none. There are no guarantees in life. "I–uh I don't know. We'd have to work together. And I admit, it will be a lot of work. Being with me is not easy. I'm constantly busy and putting out fires, some of which—okay, many of which— I create. Men like me should come with a warning."
Ariana gives him a sad smile. "Men like you. I don't think I've ever met anyone like you. How do I even navigate this? I want to be with you, but I can't deny that a part of me is trying to protect myself from getting hurt. Telling me that I should just let this story die."
Elon's shoulders slump. He didn't think his heart could feel heavier. "So, you want to pretend like last night never happened? Just forget me? I can't do that. I can't forget you. If you need time or space, that's okay. I'll wait for you." It sounds pathetic even as the words leave his mouth.
Ariana shakes her head. "You misunderstand me. I do think we could be great together. I really like you. I'd like to be your girlfriend and see where this relationship goes. But I am afraid. I'm afraid of being left alone. Afraid of not being a priority in your life."
Just as a bubble of hope grows, it bursts when his phone chimes. No, no, no! The timing couldn't be worse. Highlighting her concern in a very real way. Elon feels crushed as he pulls out his phone and sees the message. A problem at SpaceX, one that will require his time and attention. He isn't able to hide his despair. Ariana is able to read it on his face, confirming her worries of what life with him would look like.
Her voice is sad. "You have to go?"
It isn't fair to make her feel sorry for him. This is the life that he chose. Elon forces his voice to stay even. He can cry later. "Yes, I have to go. An issue at SpaceX..." He trails off. He can't really explain right now. He looks down at the floor trying to force his eyes to not spill over with tears. He really needs to get better control over his body. He doesn't like to be this exposed.
"Well, if I'm your girlfriend then I get to go with you, right?"
Elon's head snaps up so fast he nearly kinks his neck. "What?! Wait, what? Ari, please don't play with me. My heart can't—" His voice cracks again and the tears he had tried to force down well up again.
"I'm not playing. I want to be with you, but I don't want to be left behind. If I'm your girlfriend then I want to go with you. Wherever you go. To all your factories and all your business trips. From your conferences at the White House to your shareholder meetings. If you go to fucking outer space, then I want to go too. I can deal with chaos, but I can't deal with being lonely. That's my offer... So, do I get to go with you?"
For a moment, Elon sits there stunned. Then something breaks inside him and the next thing he knows he's holding Ariana in his arms. Unsure if he's sobbing or laughing or both as he keeps repeating, "yes." He finally manages to expand his dialogue with a, "yes, please stay with me."
Fortunately, Ariana is equally affectionate, crying and kissing his cheek. He picks her up and spins her around the room, stopping only to kiss her breathless. When they finally break apart, both their faces are wet with tears of joy. She sighs and buries her face in his neck.
When her lips brush against his skin as she whispers, "you're my man," Elon seriously considers delaying their departure in favor of fucking her right there on the kitchen counter. His dick does a hopeful twitch before his brain can enforce reason. There will be plenty of opportunities for that in the future. Now the issues at SpaceX are more urgent. Sometimes he really does hate his logical side.
Gently, he sets her down, careful to not allow her body to brush past his groin. He's barely suppressing his primal instincts that are urging him to ignore his responsibilities. He clears his throat and tries to stay focused. "Alright, we need to fly to Florida. There's an anomaly with the Dragon capsule during testing. I need to look over the capsule and review all the findings with the Dragon team. I can drop you off at your home to pack while I sort out a few things with the design engineers. I'll have my driver pick you up and we'll meet at my plane."
Ariana nods in agreement. "Sounds great. I can pack quickly."
Elon pauses and looks at her intently. "Uh, look, I know it's pretty fast, but you're going to meet my son, little X. He's with his nanny right now, but they join me on most of my travels. I would have liked to introduce you slowly, but..." He trails off and shrugs.
She looks equally serious and places her hand in his. "I understand. It is fast, and I'm sorry I kind of forced that on you. But I'd be honored to meet your family as long as you are comfortable."
He nods earnestly. "I'm comfortable. I guess I've always moved fast at pretty much everything in life. I've come to realize things I think are okay are not for other people. I know I'll do that to you, but please know it's not my intent. Just let me know how you feel. I don't want to push you into something you're not comfortable with."
Ariana smiles and squeezes his hand. "Thank you, I'll keep that in mind. I'm good with fast. That's what I prefer too."
Elon sighs in relief, bending to kiss her. Even as their lips meet, he feels his dick give another hopeful twitch and he wonders if he will ever be able to control himself around her. It only gets worse as she cups his face in her hands, pressing her tongue between his lips. She tastes like sweet strawberries, and he thinks it really couldn't hurt to delay their trip. When they break apart his breathing is heavy. He swallows thickly and she raises an eyebrow.
"I think you need to call your driver and your plane if we're going to leave on time."
Elon groans in frustration. "We can be a little late."
Ariana giggles and playfully pushes his chest. "Calm down, big boy. You have a business to run."
Even as part of his brain agrees with her, another part really doesn't. "I'd rather make love to my girlfriend instead."
She looks pointedly at his groin. "Yeah, I can see that. It's pretty obvious. And honestly I'd love that too, but I'm not about to start this relationship off with me making you late for work."
His voice is almost a growl. "It's my company. They can't say shit. They wouldn't dare. You think anyone at SpaceX would question my timeliness?"
Ariana laughs and shakes her head. "No. I don't think your employees would risk their job with a question like that, but I do think they will put one plus one to get two when they see us together. I imagine you wouldn't normally delay an urgent issue."
"Ugh, fine. Touché. But we're going to revisit this conversation tonight."
Her smile is extra sweet as she whispers, "Oh I'm counting on it, my big boy," rubbing her hand along his erection. Then she turns and starts cleaning up their glasses as she calls over her shoulder. "When you talk to your driver, make sure they drive the Model X. I'll need the extra space for my luggage."
As Elon stands there, painfully erect and cursing his work obligations, he slowly shakes his head. Nope, he is pretty sure he will never be able to control his body in front of her. It's going to be a long, hard day of work. In so many respects. He can only take so many unlaunched rockets in one day.
XxXxXxXxXxXx
Ever since Ariana's album, Eternal Sunshine, dropped I have been all up in my feelings. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've listened to it. Apologies for another angsty chapter, but I promise it's just a set up for sexy in the next one.