"Hey, you wanted to see me?"
Mingi startled and almost dropped his phone onto the grass of the playground he was waiting in as a joyful familiar voice rang through his ears far too close than he could manage and before he knew it his body stumbled forward with the additional weight of another body on his back.
Once he was released from the other boy's grasp he turned around to face the one whom his heart had swoon over without him noticing until his head started hurting from how much he thought about it.
Because Mingi had thought about it a lot.
He had thought about it even before his brain could aknowdeledge his love for Yunho, and even more when he finally noticed. He though about what to do with this whole situation. If he should have told Hongjoong, if he should confess to Yunho, and if his feelings were actually what he thought they were.
And they were indeed. After a couple of months reminishing in his head Yunho had came a little too close to his face on one of their practices and his heart had beaten in his chest as if it wanted to break through his ribcage and be set free. That's when he had realized his feeling of love towards Yunho was real and genuine, and he could avoid it no more.
He had wanted to talk it out with Hongjoong before it got to the point it actually reached in the end, but he couldn't bring himself to talk to Hongjoong about it without the fear of hurting him, so he had procrastinated on the matter until Hongjoong had found out on his own and Mingi had regretted every single time he had had the chance to tell him and he had chickened out instead.
When his eyes met Yunho's bright ones his heart did a little happy flip and the corners of his mouth turned upwards. Yunho had this effect on people. He had always had.
With one single smile he was able to wash away each and every single worry from the people surrounding him. It was one of the many reason Mingi had happened to fall for him.
That's why Mingi had decided to confess. Because he knew that Yunho wouldn't judge him.
"Hey Yuyu, yeah. How are you?" He spoke quietly. He loved to see Yunho smiling.
"I'm fine. How about you? Are you sleeping fine after the break up?" A faint tone of worry underlined Yunho's words as he spoke. Mingi smiled sadly at the reminder of the current broken relationship with Hongjoong, but he was determined to voice out what he had came for in the first place.
"I am, Yu," He let out a breath, "I wanted to talk to you about that actually. Well, partly." Mingi ratiated nervousness with every fiber of his body. Every word that lingered though the air was gingerly spoken, every move was cautious and it was obvious that he wasn't as comfortable as usual. That had Yunho draw his brows together in what could only be indentified as confusion.
Mingi attempted to give a reassuring smile, it was weak, yes, but it seemed to help Yunho's confusion at least faintly. He nodded to an empty bench in front of the yellow slide, a few children were playing in front of them and the children's parents were watching over them.
Mingi sat on the bench first, patting the spot next to him for Yunho to sit. For a few moments they remeined silent, the only sounds being heard being the laughter of the children in the playground. Yunho sat next to Mingi.
Mingi tried to ignore at the best of his possibilities the way their thighs brushed against each other, it was not the time to swoon over his crush now. Well, not that he could really stop doing that of course, but he had something important to say, and he needed to focus all his thoughts into how to translate in words what his heart was aching to say, to show, to feel.
He jolted when Yunho's hand came to rest on his shoulder. The warm touch seemed to set his skin on fire and his mind was diverted once more from what it should have poured all his attention on.
"Mingi, you seem overly tense. Is everything okay?" Yunho's concerned voice reached Mingi's ears once more to ground him back to reality as Yunho tilted his head to meet Mingi's zoned out gaze.
Mingi had to blink a couple of times for his brain to register their close proximity. Yunho wasn't so close to his face that he could feel his breath, no, but he was almost as close to. Mingi's body froze as he observed Yunho's gentle brown eyes, his teal hair held back by a thick red headband, his nose that even if some people would consider not one of the most beautiful in Mingi's eyes was absolutely perfect. His eyes lingered when Mingi's gaze reached Yunho's lips, the beautiful bow of his upper lip, their pink reddish colour. They were oh so kissable and Mingi would sell a liver if it ment he could lean forward and capture them with his own.
Not literally obviously. Maybe.
When Yunho nudged his shoulder once more Mingi got finally out of his trance. He embarassedly looked to the side opposite of Yunho in an attempt to hide his blossoming blush.
"Sorry, I was thinking." He breathed out. He really hoped Yunho didn't pick up the trembling of his voice, even if he would find out why either way once Mingi would finally gather the courage to confess.
Yunho's gaze relaxed considerably at Mingi's words, even if he didn't seem less on edge.
"What did you want to talk about, Min?" Yunho smiled reassuringly even when Mingi could easily pick up on the concern hidden behind his eyes.
Mingi's mind immediately got reminded of his reasons and he turned hastily around to face Yunho, who leaned back startled by the sudden movement.
"You know, about the break up..." Mingi took a deep breath. His whole body tingled with nervousness, but he had to do this.
"...What about it?"
"Me and Hongjoong... I didn't like him anymore. We broke up because of that. And I..." Another deep sigh left his lips in his attempt to mantain the most of his determination as he could. "...I realized I love someone else."
The expression of shock on Yunho's face almost made Mingi reconsider, almost made him give up and run away to hide in the comfort of his apartment. Because how would he explain to one of his bestfriends that he had developed feelings for him. And Yunho had never even mentioned if he actually liked someone, Mingi suddenly remembered.
If Yunho already had feelings for someone else it would make Mingi's every attempt futile.
"...Yunho I-"
"You love someone?"
Mingi hesitantly nodded. With every second his determination seemed to lapse and slide away from his grasp.
"I do. And I called you because-"
"Oh my god you never even told Hongjoong that you loved him! I'm sad for him of course but this is huge news Mingi! Have you told the person-"
"I'm trying!!"
Yunho's mouth abruptly closed shut. Mingi could almost see his brain working behind his wide eyes. Part of him hoped Yunho wouldn't realize, but the other part was waiting just for that. He could feel his stomach acting up, his anxiety wouldn't leave him alone. He just hoped he wouldn't feel the need to throw up now that he finally managed to say it.
"...You love... me?"
Yunho's voice was barely above a whisper, laced with confusion and probably even fear. Mingi gave a weak nod avoiding Yunho's gaze with all his might. He couldn't bear to see the look on Yunho's face. Not when it seemed so obvious that what was awaiting him was a rejection.
It was horrible. Anxiety was pulling at his insides like a rough beast, tearing him apart. Why was it so hard to confess to someone? It was the first time Mingi had been the one confessing his feelings, every other time it was someone else confessing to him. He suddenly felt respect towards all the people that ever confessed to him, it must have took great courage.
"Min... are you serious...? You're just joking... right?" Yunho breathed out, eyes wide in astonishment. Mingi by now was just a bundle on nerves. He couldn't bring himself to talk, nothing that made sense could get out of his mouth anyway. He slowly shook his head, meeting Yunho's eyes again with his own.
Indecision was evident in Yunho's expression. Maybe it was because of the suddeness of the situation. Mingi was sure Yunho was just contemplating on how to turn him down kindly, he knew however that no matter how gently a rejection was given it would hurt like a bitch either case.
He gripped tightly on the hem of his shirt, bracing himself for what was to come, when Yunho's voice filled the air once again.
"Mingi... I- Thank you... for telling me... and for loving me... I- I'm sorry I- I like someone Min. Sorry."
There it was. The rejection he was expecting and dreading at the same time. He forced a smile on his face, altough it would probably look pained and distorted. His eyes were stinging, but he couldn't cry. Not with Yunho present, because it was not his fault Mingi's heart seemed to want to rip itself apart without any pity, and Mingi knew that.
So he pretended it was fine, that it wasn't hurting as much as it actually was and that everything was alright.
"I'm sorry..."
Ok maybe Mingi wasn't the best at hiding his true emotions.
"It's Alright Yuyu, I expected it. You don't have to worry." His attemtps at trying to rid the other man of the concern that was so evident in Yunho's eyes seemed not to work, so he rose to his feet and turned back to Yunho, putting all his resolve into his grin. "I'mma head home now, bye Yuyu, be safe"
And with that he started strolling through the playground toward the little gate that faced the street to his house.
Needeless to say as soon as he was outside of Yunho's range of sight the tears he was trying to contain so hard just a few moments before immediately started floading from his eyes, rolling down his cheeks, and dropping down from his chin, leaving little occasional wet spots on his shirt.
They didn't leave him alone until he reached his apartment and dropped himself on his bed between sobs.
Until, even with the sun still high in the sky, sleep decided to take him away from his hurtful reality, lulling him into a peaceful slumber.
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Turbulence started playing while I was writing the end of the chapter I-