(chapter xli - hey, i think i might be falling in love with you)
SELENE HAD A love-hate relationship with death.
Death had always been viewed as a looming threat — all of her demigod life. She's seen people die before — campers — kids — who didn't deserve the cruel fate they were met with. She's seen people get driven insane, driven hysterical — at the sight of their dead friend or lover, on the ground. Never to be heard from again.
She hated it. She hated seeing people mourn — seeing people cry, as the light of their life got taken away — just like that, the string cut. She felt it was unfair. She felt it unfair — because most of them were just kids, trying to live and grow up normally. They were just kids, forced into quests, prophecies, and fucking death sentences sometimes, to do stuff they didn't even sign up for.
Seeing shrouds getting burned this time around hit the hardest for her. In her opinion, there was too many goodbyes.
Among the dead was Lee Fletcher — head counselor for the Apollo cabin. As his shroud got burned into the sky, Selene hugged Thema even tighter — whispering comforting words in her ear as the girl kept sobbing, claiming it was her fault.
"It's not," Selene pressed her lips against Thema's cheek — a sisterly, comforting kiss, as tears started to roll down her own face. "It will never be your fault, Thema."
Thema just pulled her closer in reply.
Another lost camper — a son of Dionysus, Castor — his shroud was burned right after Lee's. It was purple, embroidered in golden grapevines. His brother, Pollux, tried to say a few words, but in the end he was unable to continue and just burned the shroud instead. It was the first time in a long time that the amphitheater was completely silent.
Percy, who was next to her, intertwined their fingers. She noticed he had been doing that a lot lately, and when she turned to face him, he just glanced down — avoiding her gaze. She could see a hint of guilt and frustration in his eyes — like he was mad and blaming himself for anyone he couldn't save. Without thinking too much of it — she threw an arm around his middle, bringing him closer — before resting her head on his shoulder, trying to offer as much comfort as she possibly could. Percy sighed softly at this — tension leaving his shoulders almost immediately, like she was the oxygen he finally got ahold of after drowning in his own thoughts.
All the faces of the dead she saw — all the shrouds that were burned — she silently swore to herself to never forget them. Never forget what they sacrificed for their parents — who didn't even seem to care. Never forget that they were people — most kids, who got thrown into a war that wasn't even their fault.
'Never forget,' Her mind whispered to her.
Never forget.
—
SOON AFTER THE shroud ceremonies were over, her friends instantly cornered her.
(Well, at least that's what it felt like.)
Percy, Annabeth and Thema practically backed her into the corner of Cabin Eight — her cabin. Which, normally, Percy would stay at least fifteen feet away from at all times — in case Artemis decided fuck it and launched a volley of arrows at him. So the fact that he was willingly standing near her cabin — she knew something was up.
"Whatever it is — I didn't do it —"
"Oh trust me you did —"
"Thema," Annabeth cut in — sending her a warning look before turning to Selene. "Selene — we really need to address, uhm...y'know who."
"No, I actually don't..." Selene trailed off — trying to guess who they were talking about based on their faces. "...Mal?"
Percy's face immediately twisted into a look pure hatred as Annabeth answered, "No."
"...Luke?"
Annabeth's face looked like she ate a whole lemon at that guess, "No."
"So close, though," Percy piped up sarcastically. Selene snorted at that — and tried not to laugh even more as Annabeth harshly slapped his arm.
She then tried again, "Uhm...Kronos...?"
Annabeth's eye twitched.
"I think we need to start acting it out," Thema suggested. "Like Charades. Maybe then it'll click. I'll go first —"
"Thema I'm trying to have a serious conversation —"
"Look, Sel, you watching? Fee-fi-fo-thum — I'm all great and powerful! They all bow down to me, for I am —" Thema stopped in her words — a certain expression on her face as she prompted Selene to finish her sentence. All she answered with was:
"You don't talk in Charades, T."
"Uhm, according to my rules —"
"What rules are you playing by —"
"You guys," Annabeth said tiredly — holding her hands up for silence like a stressed out single mother with three kids, "Gaea. I'm talking about Gaea."
Selene instantly stopped talking. She nervously glanced down at her ring — which looked a mix of purple and green — like a rare amethyst gem. She knew better though. She knew what it was.
"Selene," Annabeth's voice was softer now. "We need to talk about Gaea. Right now."
"I —"
"How long has she been...well, y'know, talking to you?" Thema questioned. "How long since you first heard her?"
"And Kronos," Annabeth added. "Is she working with him? Is she planning on waking up? How is she planning on doing so, if she is? Why hasn't this been mentioned? In the prophecy —"
"Hey," Percy spoke up. "You guys, stop it."
"I will not stop it, Percy. We need to know about this! Selene, if you know something, we need to tell Chiron right away. Hell, even Mr. D!" Annabeth put a hand on her hip — the other started to massage her temple. "This is horrible! Why wasn't this foreseen? When Percy first got the prophecy — like — what? How was Apollo not aware of this? How were any of the gods not aware of this!? Shouldn't we have been warned? Selene, you have to —"
"Stop," Selene whispered. "Please, Annie."
"No, no. You don't get to say that to me. Not after you kept this secret from us for — what? How long, huh? How long have you been in cahoots with Gaea? Huh? How long?" When Selene didn't reply, Annabeth's brows furrowed in anger. "How long, Selene? How long —"
"Okay, hang on, back up," Percy said — this time more forcefully than before. "Annabeth, stop. We're not interrogating her, she's our friend."
"If she's really our friend," Annabeth scrutinized her with thunderstorm eyes, "Why didn't she tell us?"
Selene felt her stomach drop at her best-friend's words — but she tried not to let it effect her too much. She knew this was going to happen — something like this, at least. That's why she held off telling them for so long. But there was also another reason —
She was scared. And she wanted to keep her friends safe. She didn't know Gaea's intentions — what her plan was. If she told her friends, would they have been taken away? Kidnapped? Killed? She could barely hold back the bile in her throat just thinking about it.
Annabeth had every right to be mad — all of them did. But Selene couldn't help but feel small — she couldn't help but feel judged by something she couldn't control. By a burden that was forced upon her. A burden — a secret — that was almost as heavy as the fucking sky she was forced to hold last winter.
"I'm sorry," Selene's voice was broken and bleak. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, you guys."
They all stared at her — absolutely silent.
"I...I first felt Gaea's voice in my head, last winter. Percy," She turned to him, "That spear at the junkyard I picked up? Right after that, she started to talk to me. Whisper things in my ear — it felt horrible — like someone was behind me, watching me, waiting for the perfect time to..to strike," She shivered at the memory. "I — I didn't even know it was Gaea, at first. It was just a voice — a voice that didn't belong to me — in my head, constantly driving me insane. Due to that new addition — the rest of that quest, I was jumpy. It's like — it's like I wasn't comfortable in my own body..." She trailed off — her face turning away slightly as she tried not to break down. Bringing last winter up again — it caused a whole new triad of emotions to wash over her — fear, sadness, anger.
Thema's brows furrowed. "When — when did you figure out it was Gaea, then?"
"She told me," Selene answered — biting the inside of her cheek. "Uhm...after a fight I had with Mal."
Annabeth tilted her head — like she was trying to read Selene's mind, "That's random—"
"Well it's what happened, okay?" Selene snapped — her feelings were brewing up in her mind like a tornado that was unable to stop. "Look I'm —...I'm sorry. Gaea told me she was...y'know, Gaea, before we took off into the labyrinth. I didn't mention anything to anyone because I was —....I mean, She's the goddess of the fucking Earth! I didn't know what she was capable of. So I just kept quiet and tried to learn more about what she was planning —...I...shit, you guys, you have to believe me — if I would've known she was going to try and possess—" Suddenly, her voice cracked. She couldn't speak — her throat was all scratchy, her eyes were blurry.
Fuck, she hated this. She hated this. She hated being questioned and looked down upon by her friends — even though she knew they had every right to do so. She felt like she was being interrogated for a crime she didn't commit — or put in a play she didn't even sign up for.
Fortunately — she wasn't pressed for answers any longer.
"Alright, that's it — C'mere."
Before anyone could say anything else, Percy took matters into his own hands — which means, he quite literally grabbed her hand and pulled her into his embrace.
Just his warmth alone felt calming to Selene — suddenly, she felt like she could breathe again.
Percy smelled like the sea — like he always did — however this time there was a hint of sandalwood in it — which only tripled the calming feeling that was washing over her like a wave. It was funny — before the whole labyrinth ordeal, Silena, the head counselor for Aphrodite, pulled Selene aside and gave her a bunch of perfume scents to rate — randomly, out of the blue. This one perfume that really stood out to her — Perfect, by Marc Jacobs....this is going to sound strange, but he smelled exactly like that perfume. Almost as if he stole it out of Silena's cabin and smothered it all over himself, or something.
Whatever the reason, she felt herself sinking into him. She knew she could relax slightly because Percy understood — the world was forced onto his shoulders at the ripe age of twelve, for gods' sake. He must know what she feels like, to some extent.
She sometimes wondered how he did it. How he killed the Minotaur with his bare hands — how he traveled the Sea of Monsters — how he held up the sky. She wondered if he ever felt tired of it all — if he ever felt like giving up.
She then realized even thinking that was stupid, because — Percy Jackson — well, her Percy Jackson — he never gave up. He never turned his back on people he cared about — even if he knew it was practically a death wish not to do so.
Loyalty.
His fatal flaw was loyalty.
Sometimes she thought if that should even be considered a flaw in the first place.
Selene didn't even realize Thema joined their hug until a wave of cinnamon hit her nose, "Gods of Olympus, I'm so sorry, Sel."
"Sorry?" Selene couldn't stop the tears now. She felt weak — no matter how many times she tried to reprimand herself — no matter how many times she tried to tell herself that people were worse off than she was — she would still end up crying. Crying — like a sorry excuse for a demigod. "I — I should be sorry, Thema! I — I kept this from you, because I was a coward —"
"Because you were smart," Annabeth corrected — she put her head on Selene's shoulder — she smelled like vanilla. "You waited for answers — you didn't push them. That was the best thing you could've done in that situation."
"Hey," Percy whispered, nudging her. When she turned to him, eyes full of tears — he just smiled brightly — reminding her of the moon's reflection in water, or the warmth of the sun in the winter. "You are the bravest person I know, Star Girl. I'm sorry you had to hide this for so long — gods, I'm so sorry. But...it'll be okay now, yeah? I've got you. No matter what."
"We all do," Agreed Thema.
"And I'm sorry I got mad before," Annabeth continued — squeezing her tighter. "I was just...I was just worried about losing you, Selene. With Luke being a traitor — and Thalia traveling across the world now, never stopping —...I — I can't lose you, too. I can't. I can't get you taken away too."
Thema sighed. "We're all a bunch of worry-warts for each other," She pointed out. "Like seriously. We need to stop scaring each other to death."
Percy laughed at her words. Discreetly, he pulled Selene closer. "C'mon, T, what do you mean? That's the fun part!"
"For you, maybe," Selene grumbled. "Mr. Risks Now, Consequences Later."
"And you just revealed an old Earth goddess has been trying to posses you since last winter — which scared me to death — so you have no room to talk."
"....Touché."
They all laughed. It probably looked insane — Kronos rose from Tartarus, Gaea assisting him in doing so — and yet here they were. Cracking up about it.
After her mother's death — back when she was young, Selene was always viewed as unimportant. A second option — an afterthought. A 'maybe later', or 'not right now'. Whatever sorry excuse her family had thrown at her, she found herself believing it — even after she ran away, even after she ended up at camp and started to make friends. She always had a taunting voice in her mind — even before Gaea — telling her she was impossible to love. Impossible to be cared about.
As she hugged all her friends — laughing, crying, and everything in between...she realized that voice was wrong.
She realized that when she was that scared little girl — hugging her pillow as she sobbed herself to sleep — she should've never accepted the hate that her family threw at her. The hate that was always masked as 'love'.
Because in the end...
You only stop believing that voice in your head until you get real love. You only push that voice away once you get pulled into someone's comforting embrace — whispering that everything would be okay, because they would always be there for you.
You should only accept the love that you deserve.
She realizes that now.
"Uhm...hey, guys..."
They all snapped out of whatever mopey, clingy trance they were in to turn towards the direction of a familiar voice. It was Grover — and he did not look in the best state mentally right now.
The satyr's ears dropped slightly — his eyes dim and full of exhaustion. She felt bad for him, really — imagine having to watch the god you've admired for years die right in front of you — only for all your friends and family to claim you're a liar without even hearing you out first. She knew all too well that Grover had sacrificed everything to find Pan — and in the end, all he got in return was a bunch of hillbillies calling bluff — and, well... a dead god.
"How long have you been standing there?" Questioned Percy — clearing his throat and hurriedly wiping his tears away. As he did so, Selene squeezed him tighter — causing him to wheeze at her grip.
"Enough to know I wanna join in," Grover shot back in reply — before getting practically thrown into their group hug by Annabeth. With the new addition, it started to get a little stuffy — but nobody seemed to care. They all seemed to be stuck in a...little happy bubble — weird thing to compare the moment to, but strangely — it fit.
That was until Percy suddenly pinched Selene's side — causing her to gasp and push him away. Percy started laughing — however his grin slowly morphed into a scowl as she smacked the back of his head in retaliation.
"THAT HURT, DIPSHIT!" Selene yelled — punching him again.
"SO YOU CAN BEHEAD THE GODDESS OF EARTH, BUT A PINCH WOUNDS YOU TO NO END!? —"
"YES BECAUSE THAT PINCH FUCKING HURT YOU...YOU..." She struggled to find a creative insult to call him — so she just called out a random word instead. "YOU PFERDEFRESSE!"
Percy faltered — he gave her a concerned look. "Uhm...sorry, what is that?"
"It's German, Barnacle Boy."
"Well that doesn't exactly answer my question — wait how the fuck do you know German? —"
Selene thought about it for a second — frowning. Her mind then seemed to blank — it was like someone had snuck into her brain, made her shout some random insult in German, and then dip. It was trippy. "Huh. I actually don't know where I got that from."
"It sounds like a name of a drug," Percy pointed out, "Which...is really concerning, I'm going to be honest —"
"It means 'horse face'," Interjected Annabeth — a smug expression dancing across her face as she looked in between the two, "She said your face looked like a horse."
There was a moment of silence as Percy's mouth fell slack in shock. He turned to Selene, and she just looked away — trying to cover her laughter as she did so.
"HEY! WOULD YOU STOP LAUGHING —"
"I'M SORRY IT'S JUST FUNNY —"
"Okay, you two," Grover — bravely — stepped in between them, holding his hands out. "As amusing as this is...people are staring."
"But she called me a — OW! OW OW! Annie what the fuck!? —"
Annabeth had pinched the back of Percy's neck — her arm then forcing him forward, towards the forest. "Grover is right," Annabeth agreed — pinching Percy harder as he tried to protest, "Forward we go."
"But I —"
"We have a meeting to catch, Percy. Walk forward, or I swear to the gods —"
"She called me a horse face, Annie! A horse face! —"
"Wait, wait, wait, wait," Selene spoke up — trying not to grin as she picked up on Percy's incoherent grumbling. "What meeting?"
"That uh — that satyr one," Thema answered — nudging Selene's side slightly as she did so. "The — The Council of Clovers? I don't know — uhm, Grov, help me out —"
"Council of the Cloven Elders," Grover looked like he had just been sentenced to die — just by saying their name. His ears drooped, and he avoided their gazes. "They're not even going to listen to me. Well, at least Silenus won't — I'll be sentenced to exile."
"Exile?" Percy scoffed, "They can't do that. They can't just kick you out of camp for something that wasn't your fault."
Selene nodded her agreement, "Yeah. Horse boy is right —"
"Can you quit it with the horse thing —"
"—Pan may have...well, passed on. But in what world is that your fault? Silenus shouldn't be able to blame you for anything. Why would he think you're responsible for killing the god of the Wild?...like...isn't that technically your dad?"
Grover fiddled with his Camp Half-Blood T-shirt — deep in thought. He looked really disheartened, and Selene couldn't help but give him a squeeze on the shoulder — trying to offer her support. The satyr gave her a forced, grateful smile.
"Whatever the case," Annabeth chimed in — determined. "We'll help defend you, Grover. He can't exile all of us. It wouldn't make sense statistically and —"
"Right, okay, Wikipedia."
"You want what he's having, Selene?" Annabeth muttered — glaring at Selene as she kept forcing Percy forward. Honestly, it was like she was handling a kid on a leash.
"....Well, no —"
"I'm sorry, I'd just like to bring up the fact that she called me horse face in German — and I'M the one getting pinched — SHIT!" Percy quickly hissed in pain again as Annabeth pressed down harder on his neck.
"It's because I like her better," Annabeth stated simply. "Now c'mon, dumbasses. Walk faster."
—
IT FELT LIKE an eternity until they got to the meeting area.
It was the same as Selene remembered — except for the fact that it wasn't. Unlike before, there were hundreds of naiads, dryads, and satyrs alike surrounding the clearing — all waiting with bated breaths as they walked forward.
Like Grover had anticipated, Silenus wanted to exile him immediately — but Chiron convinced him to at least hear the evidence first. So, Percy started to recount what had happened — the crystal caverns, what Pan had told them — the way he explained it all was surreal to Selene. Even though she was there — it felt different to hear from another perspective.
Once Percy had finished, Selene squeezed his hand. She was going to pull away right after — figuring he was still pretending to be annoyed at the horse thing — but he stopped her — gripping her hand tighter and pulling her closer to him. She felt her cheeks grow red.
"It was Panic," Juniper insisted — she had appeared not long after they all did, and she was standing proudly at Grover's side. "Grover, he — he must've summoned the power of the Wild god."
"I'm pretty sure we were all summoning panic at that battle," Selene shuddered, "Gods, especially when you know who showed up."
Thema snickered — nudging her shoulder. Selene grinned in reply — however her joking face soon turned into an annoyed one once she saw one of the satyr elders glaring at her. She glared right back — mirroring his expression comically, hoping he realized how idiotic he looked.
"Uhm, hang on, pause," Percy said, holding his hand up — the one that wasn't currently intertwined with Selene's. "What is a...panic?"
"Percy," Chiron pursed his lips, "During the first war of the gods and Titans, Lord Pan let forth a horrible cry that completely disbanded the enemy armies. It is — well, was — his greatest power. It was a power that assisted the gods greatly in helping them win, back in the day. The word — panic — it originated from Pan, you see. Grover...he used that power, calling it forth from within himself."
'So like...he's a god now?' Selene wondered — although she kept that thought to herself in order to not appear as stupid as shit.
"Preposterous!" Silenus screeched from his who-knows-how-many-years-old chair. "Sacrilege, I say! Perhaps the Wild god has favored us with a blessing. Or perhaps Grover's music was so awful it scared the enemy away!"
"Okay, you old goat, how about we all hear your music before you go around and judge Grover's," Selene grumbled. "Honestly — that panic thing sounded bad, sure, but I'd much rather take my chances listening to that again than having to hear your attempt at singing."
Silenus stuttered over his words, "How — how dare you, you — insolent...girl! I have the voice of an angel!"
"Dude — you are literally named 'Silenus'! Does that mean like — Silent in Greek!?"
Silenus turned as red as the strawberry he was eating, "You DARE —"
"Selene didn't mean that, sir," Grover quickly cut in — sending her a warning look, "But — uhm, what you were saying before....that wasn't it. Pan let his spirit pass into all of us. We must act. Each of us must work to renew the Wild, to protect what's left of it. We must spread the word. Pan...he's — dead. There is no one but us."
"After two thousand years of searching!" Silenus scoffed in pure disbelief. "This is what you try and force us to believe!? Never! We must continue the search! Exile this — this traitor!"
The older satyrs around him muttered assent.
"A vote!" Silenus cried. "We must vote! Who would believe this crazy satyr and his...annoying friends anyway!"
"Stop screaming," Selene hissed — wincing as his voice seemed to echo throughout the forest. "Gods, no wonder they named you Silenus. You never talk normally."
Silenus gasped. He tried to get up, but he couldn't without tripping on his own hooves and falling back into his chair. Selene giggled — slapping Percy's arm slightly as he started to laugh, too.
"You...oh, you insufferable —!"
"I wouldn't, Silenus," A new voice suddenly spoke up. "We wouldn't want you to injure yourself."
The crowd parted. There stood Dionysus — striding into the grove. He wore a formal black suit — a dark purple tie and undershirt accompanying it. His dark curly hair was carefully combed — his eyes bloodshot and his pudgy face flushed. He never really looked particularly happy — at all — but this time, there seemed to be reason behind his unhappiness.
As the god walked up next to them, he snapped his fingers — suddenly, a huge throne made up of grapevines seemed to grow out of nothing — it was way bigger and bolder than Silenus', which Selene figured was a petty way to say, I'm better, bitch.
Dionysus then sat on his throne — crossing his legs. He snapped his fingers again, but this time, two satyrs rushed from the crowd to kneel next to him — offering a plate of cheese and crackers and a can of Diet Coke.
Dionysus surveyed the crowd — rather unamused, "Well? Did you miss me?"
"Yes, sire!" The satyrs all exclaimed in unison — Selene was so freaked out, she hid behind Percy a bit. It sounded like a fucking cult. "Very much, sire!"
The god looked rather pleased with himself, "Yes, well..." Suddenly, purple mist seemed to gather around the forest. In less than a blink of an eye, Dionysus erupted — his rage thickening across the forest as he snapped, "I did not miss this place!"
'Wow,' Selene thought. 'He did a complete 180.'
"I bear bad news, my friends," The god of wine grumbled, "Evil news. The minor gods are changing sides. Morpheus has gone over to the enemy. Hecate, Janus, and Nemesis have joined him. Zeus knows how many more..."
At his words, thunder rumbled in the distance. It sounded different — more out of control than usual.
Dionysus waved his hand and scoffed, "My mistake. Scratch that, even Zeus doesn't know. Now, I want to hear Grover's story. Again, from the top."
"But, my lord," Silenus protested, "It's just nonsense! You can't possibly believe —"
Dionysus slammed his fist down on his thrown. He turned to the old satyr — his eyes dark and threatening. "I just heard that my son, Castor, is dead. I am not in a good mood, Silenus. You would do well to humor me."
Silenus closed his mouth immediately— it reminded Selene painfully of a goldfish. Begrudgingly, he waved at Grover to start.
Once Grover was finished, Dionysus lowered his head in thought. "It sounds exactly like the type of thing Pan would do," The god then murmured. "Grover is right. The search is tiresome. You must start thinking for yourselves."
"We must exile the traitor!" Silenus insisted.
"I say no," Dionysus countered simply — not looking up from his plate, "That is my vote."
"I vote no, as well," Chiron put in.
Silenus then set his jaw stubbornly, "W — Well fine! Who is in favor of the exile?" He and the two other satyrs raised their hands. He looked around, and stated — very proudly, "Three to two!"
"Ah, for sure," Dionysus didn't even spare the old satyr a glance, "But unfortunately for you, a god's vote counts twice. And as I voted against, we are tied."
"Outrage!" Silenus finally managed to stand as he screeched this — his ears flat on his head, "Dionysus — this council can not stand at a impasse!"
"Wait, what does impasse mean?" Selene whispered to no one in particular, "I'm too young for old people words."
Annabeth pinched the bridge of her nose, "Selene, it's not an old people word —"
"It sounds like a ballet move," Percy interrupted— the thought stewing in his mind, "Like, like — impasse, impasse! Perfecto, perfecto!" He spoke this in an Italian accent, for some strange reason — causing Selene to crack up, as Annabeth tilted her head to the sky, annoyed.
"That's not what it means, dipshits," Annabeth insisted. "It means — and I quote — 'a situation in which no progress or advancement can be made'. Some synonyms can be stalemate, dead end, standstill —"
"Thema why is your girlfriend a walking computer —"
"Don't ask me I have no fucking idea —"
"Thema Katz," Chiron warned — watching the group of them carefully, "Language."
"Sorry, Boss."
"....Boss—?"
"Dionysus!" Silenus screeched like a pterodactyl, "Are you listening to me?! This disagreement can cause a split in the nature spirits as we know it! Are you sure you just want to...be difficult and —"
"Do not call me difficult, Silenus," Dionysus rolled his eyes — playing idly with a grapevine. "It won't be difficult to kill you, that's for sure."
"Do it," Selene agreed, "I can make a sign to cheer you on."
"You know, Selica," Dionysus turned to her — a smug smirk on his face, "I believe that's a fantastic idea."
Silenus didn't look as confident now. Without another word, he and his two other old satyr friends bowed stiffly, before practically booking it out of the grove. As they did so, Selene had no time to stop herself as she yelled:
"NO ONE LIKES YOU! JUST — BY THE WAY. BUT HAVE A GREAT DAY! KISSES!"
Honestly, she wished she could see the dumbfounded looks on their faces. Naiads, Dryads and satyrs alike seemed to stare, mouths agape — but she couldn't find herself to care. Maybe Mr. D's I don't give a fuck attitude rubbed off on her — or maybe it was Percy's. Either way, she felt herself grinning as her friends cheered in agreement — Percy slinging an arm around her shoulders and nudging her softly. She laughed and nudged him back in reply.
Grover took this as his cue and shuffled forward to address the crowd. He looked nervous — but he pushed through it as he glanced at all of the nature spirits in turn. "Selene and Mr. D are right," He started, "We don't need old satyrs relying on a god to guide us. It's time we take action — and guide ourselves."
He told everyone again the words of Pan. Although he was technically repeating a speech spoken by the Wild god — the way he toned it — the way he sounded so genuine, so determined...it made even Selene feel different, and she wasn't even the one it was being directed to.
Grover then separated all the satyrs into separate groups — which ones would go to the national parks, which ones would search out the last wild places, which ones would defend the parks in the big cities.
Although Selene had only technically known Grover for a year — she had really seen him grow up. She could still distantly remember the Grover that was swooning over her mom, Artemis — the Grover that was timid, scared, and jumpy. Now? He had completely changed — ever since Pan's death, she could really tell that he had grown more comfortable in his role as a protector.
And Y'know what?
She felt herself grow a little more confident, too.
Percy then pulled her closer — his sea-green eyes watching her carefully. His arm, which was still draped across her shoulders, tightened — while his fingers started to trace shapes on her shirt. When he gave her that smile — that troublemaker, flirty smile — she suddenly became very aware of her heartbeat.
Selene brought herself back to what Rachel had said — had told her. That Percy — maybe...hopefully — liked her. And that...maybe — she liked him back. Honestly, she thought Rachel was crazy, but now...
Now she didn't seem so sure.
She wasn't sure if that was good thing or a bad thing, and it was freaking her the fuck out. Through out the quest, she felt herself studying Percy more — noticing more about him, staring at him when he wasn't even talking. She just wrote it off by saying she worried about him, but...
"Hey, Star Girl..."
'God, that voice...wait what the fuck?'
"Star Girl..."
'What the heck am I thinking? This is so weird. So, so weird. Curse Aphrodite —'
"SELENE!"
Selene flinched at the sudden interruption of her thoughts. Percy noticed this, and sent her an apologetic smile.
'The smile again...
Oh my gods. Mentally, I'm whipped, physically, I'm scared of physical touch, spiritually — I hate men.
...what the actual fuck is wrong with me?'
"Sorry, Star Girl. Didn't mean to spook you, but it looked like your head was up in space, so I had to pull it back down to Earth. Hope you don't mind," Percy teased — pulling her closer.
Selene managed to push her jumbled thoughts away to roll her eyes at him, "Think you're so funny, don't you?"
"Just a bit. But, uhm..I don't know if you heard this with your head up in the clouds, but Thema and Annabeth took off about...two-ish...minutes ago?...claiming that they were both going to take Fresco for a joy-ride while he was still in dragon form. Something about —"
"NO! THEY BETTER NOT!"
Percy laughed, "Well...you didn't really object to it at the time, and...they're already gone, pretty girl."
Selene was so used to Percy calling her 'Star Girl' that she didn't even notice what he actually called her, "WELL...— oh...NO, I WON'T ALLOW IT!" She started to rush forward, but Percy grabbed the back of her T-shirt and forced her back.
"Hang on, wait," He told her. "Maybe...you should just let them —"
"They are not making out on my fucking dragon."
"...When did I even say that?? —"
"You don't have to," Selene interrupted. "Because I know they're about to make out, on my fucking dragon!"
"Okay, okay," Percy tightened his grip on the back of her shirt — giving her an unamused look. "Let's calm down. Gods, you remind me of Ares —"
"Finish that sentence and I'll have your fucking head."
"Fuck, I'd be into that."
"Oh go suck a dick —"
"Yeah, yeah," Selene didn't even notice before, but Percy had intertwined their fingers — and as the Sun set, he started to lead her deeper into the forest — away from all the chatter. "Keep talking, Star Girl."
"I thought we talked about this," She huffed.
"About what?"
"About you not leading me deep into the woods at night, Barnacle Boy."
"You're acting like I'm forcing you to go," Percy chuckled — gripping her hand tighter as they hopped down a small ledge. "You can leave — you know you can."
"...Well, I can't exactly leave you, Barnacle Boy."
"Yeah?" Percy questioned softly — if it wasn't as dark out as it was, Selene probably would've been able to spot the blush on his cheeks. "Why's that, huh?"
Selene sighed — she felt some tension leave her shoulders slightly as Percy ran his thumb across her knuckles. "Dunno," She admitted with a sheepish shrug — feeling the twigs that snapped under her feet. "I just — I don't think I can ever leave you, if I'm being honest."
"Aw, Star Girl —"
"Also — even if I tried — I'd just be too afraid you'd blow up another volcano and get marooned on Calypso's island again, so ultimately, I would still stay with you in the end for my sanity —"
"Wait," Percy suddenly perked up — his eyes held an unreadable emotion in them. "You know about Calypso? But I didn't —"
"That's right," Selene huffed. "You didn't. But it didn't take long for me to find out — I mean, Percy, you said you were marooned. On an island. You expect me to believe you survived two weeks alone and didn't do anything stupid?"
"Hey!"
Selene gave him a look. Immediately, Percy relented.
"...Yeah, y'know what — fair."
"Yeah, I know," Selene grinned — rolling her eyes, "But anyways, like I was saying —"
"Hold on. So you're not mad?" Percy then asked — looking at her with wide, spooked eyes.
"Uhm..about?"
"Oh gee, I don't know — Calypso?"
"No. Why would I be mad about that?" Selene thought about it for a moment — her brows furrowing. "I don't own you, Barnacle Boy — I could never be mad at you for something that was out of your control and — wait... — did you fall in love with her? Shit..did she fall in love with you?" She suddenly felt that tense feeling from before rise up in her body again as she stopped in her tracks.
"What? Gods, no! No, no — you...uhm..no, no I didn't," Percy spluttered — trying to form words, but ultimately failing. "I — I didn't fall in love with her. She...well, from what I could tell, she didn't fall in love with me either. Well at least, not in that way."
"But isn't she cursed to —"
"—Cursed to fall in love with every hero that lands on her island?" Percy finished for her. "Yeah. Sure. But...when a raft came to pick me up, she and I both kinda shared that we...well, only really felt platonic love for each other. See, uhm...I told her about you. And how you're just — you're just great. And — and...wow....and she kind of listened to me like — like a best-friend would. Hyped me up, too."
"I'm wow?" Selene laughed with a teasing smirk. "And great?"
"Hey, shut up!" Percy smacked her neck softly — with the hand that wasn't currently intertwined with hers, "You're so cruel, Star Girl. Here I am trying to be nice —"
"Mm. Mhm, mhm —"
"And you're here teasing me for being nice —"
"Yeah, okay —"
"And you — are you even listening?" Percy noticed that Selene's eyes weren't on him anymore — his mood completely deflating as he huffed, annoyed. He found that Selene's eyes were now fixed on the sky above them, instead.
"The clouds," Selene whispered — a giddy smile forming on her face. "They're gone."
"...What?"
"That stupid thunderstorm from before," She explained — squeezing Percy's hand tighter. "It's gone. You — you can see the stars."
Percy followed her gaze. She was right — the clouds from before had cleared, leaving a beautiful, clear sky. Full of stars. Constellations danced across the sky — lighting up the darkness of the forest.
Percy glanced at Selene again — once he took in her awestruck expression — he grinned. "C'mon," He urged her forward. "This way."
Selene turned her head back down and tilted it at him — confused. "What?"
"Come on, Selly," He said again. "Our spot. Remember?"
Selene's eyes lit up in recognition. A sweet, soft smile highlighted her features. This time, when Percy pulled, she followed him without resisting. "Our spot," She whispered — her cheeks growing warm as she repeated it.
"Yeah," Percy chuckled in agreement — trying not to stare with how fucking pretty she looked. "Ours."
—
"NO, NO, PERCY, you don't get it," Selene whispered — leaning further into him as she stared up at the sky, on her back — using Percy's hoodie as a pillow. "That's Ursa Major, and thags Ursa Minor. It's literally called major and minor — big bear and little bear. How could you mess that up?"
"Because I'm not a space geek, maybe."
"You don't need to be a space geek to understand the difference between major and minor. You just have to be coherent."
Percy slapped her arm lightly. Selene snickered — her eyes feeling heavy as she shifted to be on her side — her body facing him, but her head still pointed towards the stars.
"There are eighty-eight official constellations," Selene told him. "Well, actually — ninety, counting Zoë and..." She trailed off — her eyes shifting towards another constellation. The one that she soon found out was based off of her mother — Artemis' lover — Klara. "Well...yeah, ninety total ones...uhm — in the old days, a lot of sailors used them to guide their ships at night — Y'know, when the Sun wasn't out. The word 'Constellation' actually comes from a Latin meaning, y'know? Set with stars."
Percy hummed — he had very discreetly slung an arm around Selene's shoulders — his fingers dancing across her arm. A lot of people would probably tell her to stop — stop ranting about fucking stars, or the night sky.
Percy would never, though. Sure, he may not understand half of what she's saying — but he listens. He listens because he knows she would do the same for him.
(Also partly because he just likes hearing her voice — but you didn't hear that from him.)
He listens because he knows it makes her feel appreciated— it makes her feel loved, listened to. He listens because he doesn't care what topic it is — as long as it's just her, and him, and her — yes, he already said that and no, he doesn't care.
He listens because he enjoys the way her eyes light up as she rambles on and on — how she seemed to glow with happiness whenever she talked about what season certain stars are the brightest, or what time of night you could have the best chance to catch a meteor shower. He listens because...
Because...
Fuck.
He listens because he loves her.
"Perce, look," Selene gasped — shaking his side, cutting him away from his thoughts. "It's Cancer! Holy shit, I see it!"
"What?" Percy was surprised he even managed to get a word out — his face was as red as a tomato.
"Idiot," Selene laughed — her laugh...gods, he loved her laugh, "Cancer — the constellation? It's said it's the hardest to spot, because the stars that make it up are so small, and dull — that's so weird...normally, it's only said to be spotted in Spring — like in March, April. Why is it showing up now...?"
Percy pulled her closer, "Gods, who knows. Maybe you're just lucky..."
"That's not how it works, dumbass," Selene told him — laughing again. Percy hoped he didn't creep her out by staring at her — but in his defense, he was completely whipped — what was he supposed to do? Not look at her?
Selene's laugher ceased with one final sigh. She leaned in closer to his warmth — her legs tucked in close to her body. Percy welcomed her — chuckling as he noticed her eyes drooping.
This — in his eyes — was perfect.
Fireflies danced across the forest — accompanied by the cricketing of bugs. It wasn't too hot, but wasn't too cold either — the thunderstorm from before didn't leave behind any strong gusts of wind, luckily — so they could lay here comfortably without shivering.
The stars seemed to glow brighter, for just a moment — all of them, as if they were noticing that Percy and Selene were stargazing and wanted to look prettier. He snorted softly at that ridiculous thought.
His thoughts then strayed back to Selene — he was tracing stars on her arm still, which he felt weirdly fit the occasion currently.
Star Girl. To be frank, he had always been watching her — even after she yelled at him in the middle of the Dining Pavilion when they were twelve. He just felt himself being drawn to her — like oxygen he needed to survive. He had always hated it, but now...
Now, he wasn't so sure.
Percy let out a deep breath. Before he could stop himself, he blurted out into the nice, fuzzy atmosphere:
"Hey...I think — I think I may be falling in love with you."
Fuck, what am I thinking? You don't say love, it's too early —
When he turned to fix his — messy confession — he soon realized that Selene hadn't heard a word he said in the first place.
Gods damn it.
She was asleep. Her eyes were fully closed and relaxed — subconsciously, she leaned in close to his side.
Percy felt himself breath a quiet sigh of relief. He fully relaxed once more — letting Selene snuggle up closer to him as he felt his own eyes grow heavy.
Before he was whisked away into the land of dreams, he softly kissed her head — discreetly, carefully.
"Sweet dreams, Star Girl."
And that night...
That night ended up being the first good night sleep he had had in a while.
—
END ACT TWO: THE BATTLE OF THE LABYRINTH
holyyyy smokes I did it bro
I loved that last little scene ... i giggled while I was writing that and I hope you were giggling while reading it too.
end of an era ... i actually can't believe it.
perlene is so cupid's chokehold by gym class heroes
if you don't know what that song is, LISTEN TO IT
now folks..we have one more whole book to go through, so get ready. tlo is insane, unhinged. you'll be crying, people will be dying, everywhere in between. (that rhymed omg shut up)
on a more serious note though — thank you so so much for supporting this book!! i know i say it a lot..but I genuinely mean it. All of you guys are so positive and always make my day with all ur comments and ur votes and GHSJSH.
i just love u all...kisses...
anyway !! i literally stayed up until midnight writing this so !! uhm !! gotta take my nappies
get ready for tlo !! ha...haha...im not paying ur therapist bills do it ur self
mwah 💋💋