Thoughts

What I want to say...

I didn't get to ask if you're happy. I didn't get to ask your meaning behind the words you said. I talked too much, was afraid that if I asked and listened you'd tell me you exaggerated, that you're perfectly fine without me, that it was all a joke. But now I'm looking at going to your school because I want to be close to you again. Realizing that jumping into another relationship was never going to help me get over you. I don't think I can. Do you know she doesn't trust you? I trust you. I wish I was where she is. I miss you. I want to tell you about my life, and to be a part of yours. I hate that we're always forced apart. I said you're my person, but am I yours? Or did she take my place? She's in front of you, I'm not. I know this, but I can't help but wonder who it is you really want. If I was there, would you choose me? Or would you stay with your "fiancé"? Sure we have obstacles, but you and I both know there's a reason we agreed we could never be just friends. If you meant what you said, if you think that leaving was a mistake, that it should never have happened, why wouldn't you come back? Why stay with her? Why stop talking with me? Why leave again? I never got to tell you that I'm always here for you. That I will always pick up when you call. That if you ever needed anything, I'd be there in a heartbeat. Because I still love you. I never stopped.