Firstly let's catch up on what's been going on this following week.
As usual nothing much is happening except life and work. Work tends to be tiring. Trying to do what I love and get my dream career is starting off rocky. When you don't get any more time than 5 hours (with Wednesday and Sunday being an exception) to draw or enjoy life things start feeling like it may not go the way we want it too. That we may end up no longer enjoying what we like because working tends to be draining and motivation sometimes lacks.
My motivation is like a light switch. Sometimes it's on and sometimes it's off. The on side of me is a fox waiting to gallop away and take the path of a journey. The off side of me is a bear just wanting to relax and sleep mostly. It's an endless fight. One side will win the battle but never the war.
Sometimes I feel like what I'm doing is pointless. I love drawing and I want to become a concept artist by the time I'm done with my first job. But I also want to be my own boss at it too and obviously I have to start at the bottom.
The first steps of a journey are usually the hard part and it's only going to get harder as I go. Some parts might get easy but even then it'll become more chaotic in the future.
I'm struggling to survive and practice living on my own after all. I constantly get tempted to spend my money, I can't resist snack foods (not that there's anything wrong with enjoying a snack) and I have to worry about driving especially.
But I constantly remind myself that I'm only going to feel unmotivated if I let it happen. No one can defy how active I should be except myself.
Sometimes you just need to get up and do something. Whether you become successful or not you just need to go for it, take the leap of faith and go the route you think is best... not what everyone feels is best for you.
My brother often tells me I should put my talent off to the side and focus on what I need to do. Well... what if one of the things I need to do IS to do art? I don't just want to draw I need to.