"More! More!"
Helene's voice has never been sound so sharper than now.
Mauve has been performing a routine of difficult ballet movements like fouette, grand adage, pirouettes and more. The woman is extra merciless than she was before. She did made it clear how she'd punish Mauve for running away when she arrived yesterday evening.
Helene's calm demeanor when she welcomed Mauve was coupled with her piercing silent glares but obvious rage and disapproval. She didn't said anything but the next morning, Mauve found herself being woken up at 4AM her hearing aid ready for her to wear for her practice with Helene which eventually turned into a punishment.
She was kept in that practice room the whole entire day practicing. She was only let out an hour before Mr. Jung was supposed to arrive from work.
"She has gained weight do not give her food only water. Our body can survive without food but water is needed. Let's start."
She remembered Helene say while holding up her face to inspect it. Mauve can't remember the number of times she almost collapsed during practice. The water would help a little but dancing without food to fuel her up she can only perform half of what Helene expects from her.
Dinner was the only time she would be allowed to eat since its been a custom for the daughter and father to eat together. Mauve didn't dare fight off Helene's disciplining. If before she's doing it to appeal on her good favors, now she's doing it to show Helene she can conquer the challenges she'd throw at Mauve.
What is truly bothering Mauve is the competition. As she stares at the small calendar on her vanity table with a star on the 29th. She had written a cute little note at the bottom of the number that said, 'Competing with Bada-nim! Fighting!'
Its the day of the competition and seeing how its already the 27th today, it means the competition is just two days away.
In all honesty, Mauve is more worried about the nearing date of the competition than Helene. In fact Mauve is already plotting a way to attend the competition with or without Helene's permission. She already promised Bada she won't let all their efforts go to waste and she's going to fulfill that promise.
Mauve made her way to the empty dance room where she would practice ballet with her mom when she was still alive, when she was still happy. She loved ballet because of her mom, she truly did and she tried her hardest to be like her that's why she has the fundamental knowledge and skills of a ballerina but... Things happened.
As she stood in the middle of the room while staring on the mirror she realized the sadness of remembering her life with her mother in it was truly overwhelming. Its amazing how she's still able to smile everyday like all of those things did not happen.
Mauve snapped out of that little pool of sadness in her brain with a shook of the head and double slap on both cheeks which she regretted immediately with how it stung. She then reached for her phone on her pocket set it up on the speaker and played it on lower volume in hopes that Helene won't hear it.
The beats that ran through her body was weak but it was enough for all the muscle memory to get her moving with the music almost automatically. She did mistakes here and there but all she had to do was remember Bada's advice and guidance. When she does it she feels more motivated to practice.
Then suddenly in the middle of finishing another round of practice the door of the dance room bursted open and Helene came in with a scowl. As their distance drew close, Helene raised her hand to show Mauve the girl's own calendar.
"What do you think are you doing?"
Helene asked with so much disgust with the mere idea of Mauve competing in such low class talent shows and worst its with Bada!
Mauve's eyes moved her eyes from the calendar then to Helene then back to the calendar. She can't believe that Helene entered her room without permission and rummaged her stuff!
She snatched the calendar from Helene's hand with all her force and for the first tims since she got home Mauve spoke up for herself.
"Yes! I'm competing for a competition with Miss Bada! We are most definitely not dancing ballet and you can't do anything about this!"
Mauve may not have the normal pitch of voice like other people and her French may have sounded like a broken cassette but she spoke the language perfectly. Her anger was reaching the rim of its cup and she doesn't care if she's talking back to Helene. She's done playing a lowly sheep.
This treatment, this leash that Helene has a hold on her is too much that it's only proper to cut it off now.
Her defense was only met with a slap from Helene though. The woman was clearly fuming mad.
"This behavior, this... Insolence! You think I can't do anything? Young lady you are wrong!"
Helene steps closer to Mauve, grabbed the young girl by the arm and spoke to her with conviction.
"You will not be able get out of this house young lady. Not on my watch."
Helene said then she turned around to exit the room, hand still wrapped on Mauve's arms to drag the girl out of the studio and down the hallway leading to her room.
"You can't do this to me!"
Mauve shouted as she struggled to follow Helene's steps as she tries to draw her arm away to no avail, the woman was strong enough to hold her still which was surprising knowing full well that the woman is in her late 50's.
Helene successfully dragged Mauve to her room and when she opened the bedroom door the woman harshly pushed Mauve inside and made sure to block the door frame with her body to stop Mauve from escaping.
"You've disgraced me enough Loviel! Me and your mother!"
Helene made sure to emphasize every word. Although her voice was low her words felt like they were being screamed at the top of her lungs. Bringing Mauve's mother once again though made Mauve snap. Her mother. Her dear mother who took away her own life.
"Mama wouldn't want this for me! She would want me to be happy and not to be like her! Unhappily following your goddamn legacy!"
Mauve answered back to Helene. All her fear for the woman completely erased from her system as the tears swelled from her eyes.
Her words must've stung Helene because after saying those things she slapped Mauve again for the second time tonight.
It was too late for Mr. Jung to stop it but he was right on time to witness the horrendous scene.
The whole night was chaotic. Mr. Jung and Helene argued and fought while Mauve was successfully banned from going outside of her room until the day after the competition. Helene forcefully persuaded Mr. Jung to the situation with a threat.
"Loviel will stay in her room until the day of the competition and you will agree on this or I will drag the little woman back to France with me. You know full well I can do that and you will have no power against it."
She had the power, the connections, the wealth to do just that and Mr. Jung can not let Mauve be away from him so he agreed and now Mauve is in her room crying after hearing the decision her father made just right outside her bedroom door.
On her bedroom floor with her back leaning on the door, Mauve wished to be saved. She wished this nightmare would just end. Just like how her mother did years ago.
•
There's this new feeling in Bada's chest. It was familiar but relatively new at the same timw. A hazy heat that crawls around her chest has made her feel an unsettling heaviness although she was sure that there was a gap somewhere inside her. Something was lacking. Missing.
What is this lacking thing? That is something Bada is not entirely sure of. It started on how empty her own apartment felt to her. In the span of three days space was alive with her and Mauve in it.
It is weird to be feeling this way when during her young adult life she's been living alone in this apartment. That's 4 years! Mauve only stayed for three days but now.... its different. Her bed feels too big, her kitchen empty, her mornings idle, and her day lonesome.
The next four days she spent by herself was frustrating for her as that heaviness bugged her from the inside. Bada was getting worried for her own self for feelings this way! Its so heavy it was suffocating and she hates it but what she hates most is that she can't find the right reason why she's feelings this way?!
She's also worrying about other things. Like the competition they're suppose to compete at. They only have 1 day left for the competition. Bada hasn't received any word from Mauve and she's already expecting the worst case scenario. Mauve being grounded by Helene and cutting off all her connection from whatever's outside of that house which includes her.
The thought was enough to send Bada into an emotional frenzy. That heaviness on her chest would worsen and the walls of that emptiness on her bleeds more that it hurts. For three whole days, this is what Bada is feeling and she is so pissed with it so much.
She tries to separate her personal feelings from work though. As much as possible she's avoiding from zoning out and just keeping herself busy. She can't have herself behaving the way she was before.
"Bada unnie are you listening to me?"
Lusher who was sitting across the table asked Bada who was clearly zoning out while nibbling on the straw of her iced Americano.
"Oh? Me? Yeah... Yes, I was listening."
The way she stammered and delivered her words in a mumble was enough evidence that she is not even on the same place as Lusher and the rest of their friends.
Well she is physically there but mentally? She's probably floating on the orbit of a planet named Mauve. Atleast that's what Lusher thinks. Actually its not just her but also Hyein, Howl, Tatter, and Young J thinks the same thing.
The rest of the gang already knew about the Bada and Mauve running away thing and Mauve's situation.
"Poor girl, being forced to do what she clearly doesn't want to." Tatter commented.
"Is she really being forced? Doesn't she come from a family of ballerinas? Isn't it like an automatic thing for her to be a ballerina?" Young J asks.
"Well she did ran away with Bada just to escape her controlling grandmother who seems to be the black swan in personification. So yeah, I think she's being forced." Lusher makes a point.
"What does the swan even have to do with anything?" Hulk asked with that zoned out look on his face.
"I was trying to compare her– you know what, it feels stupid to talk with you." Lusher is clearly not having the energy to handle this level of stupid at this time of the day.
"Will you little children calm your feels? Mauve is being locked up by her grandmother in that house to learn ballet. That's all we know for now. We don't know the other half of the story so let's all just keep our opinions to ourselves."
If it wasn't for Hyein interfering on that nonsensical discussion they must've strayed away from the main issue and into a complete topic that ends up in stupid but friendly banter. Well it happened an hour ago and they were already talking about other things but obviously Bada is still stuck on thinking about Mauve.
"Why does Bada look like a concerned wife?"
Hulk asks before sipping from his four season fruit juice.
"I was thinking the same thing."
Young J commented and the two shares a high five. The rest of the people on the table just shook their head with how stupid these two looked.
They were kind of making a point there though. Bada does look like a worried wife. Restless, she looks annoyed but actually she's just thinking and worried about Mauve.
"If I didn't know any better I'd think that Bada and Mauve were a thing already."
"Can't it be just deep platonic friendship? Sisterhood." Tatter shares her thought.
"Well we have been friends with her for years now but she hasn't been that worried when any of us would go quiet for weeks. Sure she'd call and visits but she's never like.... this."
Lusher answers and they collectively nodded to agree.
"Well maybe their not in a relationship, just in a complicated emotional state."
The group just agreed on any possible theories as to why Bada is acting like this and what is up with her relationship with Mauve? Someone from them obviously has to ask and do an intervention with Bada to help her walk through all those thoughts in her head that's making her zone out.
And Howl took it upon himself to do so. This whole situation just keeps getting ridiculous with their equally ridiculous conclusions.
"Bada."
He called out to her and at first she didn't responded, not until he knocked on the table to get her attention. She snapped her head to the direction where the familiar gesture came from. The group saw the disappointment splash on Bada's face as she saw them.
"Wow I'm offended." Young J whispered while Tatter snickered with his remark.
"Hey are you okay you've been zoning out a lot lately."
Bada straightens her posture and leans back to her chair before exhaling. She's hoping the ill feeling would go away with the air but of course it didn't.
"Yeah I am."
A total denial, of course. She's not alright but she doesn't want to burden her friends with the confusing things she's been thinking about. Howl saw through all that. They've been friends for quite some time now so he has seen this side of her a couple of times. Its just that this one is worst than the last time.
"You're not." Howl adamantly said.
"That's true. You've been mumbling things and just zoning out you know." Tatter seconded.
Her friends stared at her, they are clearly eagerly waiting for her to speak her mind out. Bada thought they looked ridiculous, but then she remembered that they're an equally ridiculously persistent group. Denial won't work with these people.
"Alright."
Bada sighed as she gave up and let's her defenses down to properly discuss her thoughts and maybe feelings to her friends.
"I... I don't know what I'm feeling."
She started with uneasiness in the tone of her voice. Whatever will come out of her mouth, its going to be the truth and it scares her now that she's speaking of and thinking of it at the same time.
"Well I know that I'm worried about a lot of things... I'm worried about the competition, its two days away and my partner is not with me for practices. I mean Mauve and I, we were perfectly in sync already but you know me I have the nerves before big events. So not being able to prepare properly is just not my thing, so yes I'm worried about the competition."
"And?" Howl urges her to speak more. C'mon! By now they both know its not just the competition that Bada's worried about.
"And... Mauve. I'm worried about her. I haven't received any news about her. I treat her as a sister you know."
Howl raised an eyebrow with obvious suspicion on her words and Bada saw that.
"That's the truth Howl."
She defended her own stand bluntly. In response to her, Howl just shrugged his shoulder and said,
"If you say so. But you don't worry the same way with Tatter and Lusher and you've been friends with them longer than Mauve."
Howl said with an oozing 'matter-of-fact' tone in his voice. It made Bada take an emotional step back. Is she really not the same way with her friends? Bada thought carefully for a while, her eyebrow knitting together.
"Well they're older than Mauve and can take care of their selves. I know them so much and I know they can take care of themselves."
Bada answered almost automatically as the reason occured to her.
"Is that a compliment or a low-key way of telling she doesn't care about us?"
"All I heard was old. We're old."
Tatter and Lusher huddled and whispering together. Seeing the two acting like that made Bada shake her head in disbelief.
"I'm not saying I don't believe you. But what is it exactly that you need from Mauve?"
Bada was getting confused with all of Howl's cryptic question. It's like his trying to say that there's something more about than her concern for Mauve. She's not dense. It was getting annoying though why Howl is being this way but she still answered.
"I don't need anything from Mauve. I've just been constantly thinking about her, what she's doing, if she's practicing, if she's alright, if her the scratches on her feet bothering her–"
Her thoughts escaped her mouth like a latin mantra of someone possessed the longer she talked. Bada was lost on her own thoughts that she started to not realize what she was saying anymore.
"– I wonder if Helene is punishing her for running away, if she's sleeping well, if she's eating the food she wants to eat at the moment, if she's smiling. . . . Does she miss me too the same way I miss her?"
The words that she let go after that short pause shocked everyone on that table, including Bada herself. There was no denying it. She does miss Mauve. But there's nothing wrong with that anyway. She has been good friends with the girl. They lived in the same house for three days, hanged out, went to her classes together, ate together, talked. What's not to miss?
"Wow. I was just thinking the same thing and then you said it." Young J commented.
"If she's not head over heels yet then I don't know what that is anymore."
Hulk seconded. The way they said it is like their implying something else which made Bada scoffed at their comments.
"Have you guys lost it? Mauve is a very good student of mine. We became good friends and all we have is sisterhood."
Bada explained. Finding everything totally ridiculous.
"Why are you being defensive we we're just saying you miss Mauve its not like we're teasing you about your crush."
Lusher said with a suggestive tone. Bada only rolled her eyes in annoyance with how her friends are behaving like children.
"Seriously you guys are being ridiculously annoying. I miss a good friend of mine. That's it. Cased close."
They all agreed to stop with the topic with small nods and taking a sip of their beverages. They we're quiet for a while, listening only to the music playing on the stereo of the cafe. Maybe it was just plain coincidence but at that moment 'Let Me Love You' was the one playing.
Bada tightly closed her eyes as Mauve's image dancing flashed in the main stage of her mind.
"Are you guys not attending the competition anymore?"
Hyein asked and Bada snapped out of her daze.
"No."
She immediately said. She sounded resolute and determined. Afterall Mauve did promise to not give up on this competition, so she's not giving up.
"Okay, do you guys have a plan?"
"What plan?"
Bada questioned Tatter back.
"Well duh, with the sound of it her grandmother is a very strict woman and then you two had the eloping thing so getting Mauve to attend the competition will be hard."
She's correct. How will Mauve come to her? If Helene is on guard how can Mauve compete with her?
Later that day Bada found herself in front of the Jung residence. The house feels distant, not that homey anymore. Not after Helene arrived.
She wanted to see a glimpse of Mauve. Just anyway of seeing her would be enough to settle her heart but the house looked like a deserted place. Quiet, grey and empty.
Not until a music played through a piano played from inside the house. She's sure it was from the direction of the dance studio of the house.
"Mauve."
Bada whispered what should've been a call, a desperate one. Fuck all this emptiness in her chest! Right there on that moment in time, Bada devised a plan to take Mauve out. They will compete and she'll make sure they do, one way or another.
🌊🌊🌊
The long awaited update! Look out guys because this is going to be a triple update tonight! This is my way of saying sorry for making you guys wait so long and my way of saying thank you!
See you in ch. 16!
- Shiena🤍