𝑯𝒆𝒚 𝑫𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓
𝑮𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝑰'𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒏𝒎𝒐𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒅
𝑪𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓
𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓
⁂
Forks was exactly as Juliette remembered: perpetually wet and unrelentingly gray.
Granted, she'd been away for only two years, chasing a degree in Anthropology in the sunny California. As beautiful and lively as California was, beautiful, it lacked the familiar, comforting gloom of Forks. And she needed a break. Just the year prior, her younger sister Bella had finally moved back into their dad's home, reigniting Juliette's longing to connect with her sister.
Their dad, Charlie Swan, wasn't just Juliette's father, he was her best friend, her hero. She was only two when Bella came into the world, completing their family. But shortly after Juliette turned four, their mother decided she'd had enough of being married and ripped their family apart. Renee left, taking Bella with her and leaving Juliette behind.
The betrayal by their mother was something she could never forgive. It created a chasm between the sisters, one that time and distance apart only widened. As an adult, she knew it wasn't either of their fault. They were just kids caught in the wake of adult decisions. But time had done little to soothe the sting of abandonment when she thought of the estranged other half of her family.
When her dad let her know Bella was finally moving in with him, it sounded too good to be true. Juliette's first instinct was to drop everything and fly back. That impulsiveness was unfortunately a trait she undoubtedly inherited from Renee. The rationality that came from her dad told her it was too good to last and Bella would be gone before she even landed.
To her surprise, a year had passed, and Bella was still in Forks.
"How's she doing?" Juliette asked, wedging her phone between her shoulder and ear as she packed.
Charlie hesitated, a silence filled only by the rustling of clothes. "She's, uh, she's good," he finally said, unconvincingly.
Juliette stopped packing, a frown forming. "She's good? Is she sleeping through the night?"
"Well- no."
"Then she's not good." She concluding, rolling her eyes in frustration. "I don't get it, they didn't even date that long, right?"
Forks was hardly a hotbed of excitement. Before leaving for university, the most noteworthy event was a hot doctor willingly moving to their little town. How Bella managed to not only find a boyfriend, but also go through an apparently catastrophic break up was beyond her.
"It was five months, right dad?" Juliette pressed, her voice laced with exasperation. "When Sam and I broke up after a year, I didn't break out in night terrors."
To be fair, they were both 14 and 15, maybe the dating game had changed intensities since then.
She knew she was being harsh. Four months post-breakup seemed ample time for Bella to begin healing.
Unfortunately for her, her dad was still trying to salvage the broken father-daughter bond between him and Bella. Ever the peacemaker.
"You know how Bella is, she's... delicate."
Juliette could only sigh. She wouldn't know how Bella is, they only saw each other during court mandated visitations. There wasn't much time for bonding during those.
She didn't want to start off her gap year on a sour note, choosing to agree, albeit reluctantly. "Yeah, I suppose so."
They didn't have much more to speak about, the conversation shifting to her upcoming flight. In just three hours, she'd be home, back in the embrace of Forks eternal grayness.
←✥→
As the taxi pulled up to the familiar, yet somehow different, Swan residence, Juliette's heart thudded with a mix of excitement and nervousness. She stepped out, her eyes scanning the front porch where Bella stood, almost as if mirroring Juliette's apprehension.
For a moment, they simply looked at each other, each taking in how the years had changed the other. Bella had grown; no longer was she the little girl in Juliette's fragmented memories, but rather, she stood there as someone who had lived a whole segment of life that Juliette knew nothing about.
"Bella," Juliette finally broke the silence, her voice softer than she intended.
"Juliette," Bella replied, with a small, uncertain smile.
There was a brief, hesitant pause before Juliette took a step forward, her arms opening slightly-an invitation rather than a presumption. Bella moved at the same time, and they found themselves in an awkward yet sincere embrace, the kind that speaks volumes of the years lost and the hope of years to be reclaimed.
"It's been too long," Juliette whispered, surprised at the emotion welling up inside her.
"Yeah, too long," Bella agreed, her voice muffled against Juliette's shoulder.
As they stepped back, there was a shy awkwardness in the air. This was new territory for both, a opportunity to discover the sister each barely knew.
Bella looked, for lack of a better term, rough. She seemed withered away, more than just tired, but truly exhausted. Dark circles under her eyes, limp hair, and she felt frail in Juliette's arms. The guilt from Juliette's last conversation with her father stung behind her eyes.
Taking another look over her sister, she attempted to bridge the unease. "Your hair's shorter."
"Is it? I think it's grown out since the last time we saw each other." Bella halfheartedly tugged the ends of her hair as she spoke.
"Right," Juliette clicked her tongue, nodding. "So, um, done anything fun lately?"
She immediately cringed, remembering the reason behind Bella's haggard appearance.
Bella didn't seem to notice. "I was just telling dad that I'm going shopping tomorrow with a friend."
Juliette couldn't help but feel the gap growing between them. She didn't even know Bella enjoyed shopping now. During one of their last visits, the girl had seemed vehemently against any form of retail therapy. They had filled that day with a long lunch and a quick goodbye instead.
"I'd invite you, but it's with a friend from school."
Ouch. The implied rejection stung, though Juliette hoped her discomfort didn't show.
She forced out a laughed instead, "I get it. I'll probably be too busy unpacking anyway."
They both glanced down at the single carry-on duffel the elder sister had brought with her.
"And, uh, you know maybe shopping- actually not shopping, but reorganizing my stuff." She couldn't stop, hands moving haphazardly in front of her. "Because, you know, there's clothes in my room. That's why I packed light."
Bella nodded her head, avoiding Juliette's gaze. "Right, yeah, I get it."
They exchanged near identical half-smiles.
"Dad's not here, he's at work." Bella told her, nodding to the driveway that was missing the usual police cruiser.
Juliette pursed her lips, "I know, he told me he was doing the night shift. We talk daily."
The sharp unintended slight visibly affected Bella.
"Sorry, I didn't mean it that way." Juliette apologized, softening her tone. "Do you, um, have any dinner plans?"
It was a clumsy attempt to change the subject, exploiting Bella's inability to decline.
The two didn't linger outside after that, entering the house after a brief confrontation of "you first, no you first" standoff at the door.
As the Swan sisters experienced their first day together in years, Juliette couldn't shake the nagging sense of foreboding anxiety that this awkwardness might be the best it would ever be between them.
⁂
Juliette after she talks to bella: