"See, you don't get it yet, but we're literally best friends," I inform Daryl.
"Keep telling yourself that," he scoffs.
I put my feet on the wall, my body upside down as I sat backward on the couch. My hair touches the floor and I take another drink of wine out of the bottle upside down.
Daryl sat on the floor with his back to the wall. I passed the bottle to him and he takes a heavy swig.
"Carol said I have PTSD," I add. "Whatever that is."
"PTSD? I got that, too."
"Oh, yeah?" I question.
"Yeah. PTSD- Push that shit down," Daryl figures.
"I question your validity, dude."
Daryl hands me the bottle back and tosses the cork up in the air, catching it as it falls.
"I feel.. trapped," I admit. "Like this place is a big cage."
"You ain't alone."
"I know. Carol said that, too, but-"
"Nah, I mean I get it. I feel the same."
"For real?"
Daryl nods once. "Like a prison."
I point at him with my free hand. "That's the one. I'm so used to doing my own shit. Now, I feel like I'm not in control of myself. My choices."
"Merle and I bounced place to place before all this. Motels. The truck. Parking lots. Campsites," he confesses. "Even the camp felt like a prison. Being tied down like that."
"I lived with Shane before all this. To be honest, I was kinda trapped there for a long time, too. I guess end of the world released me from the cage."
"Y'all go back to before all this?"
I nod. "Shane saved my ass. Rick, too. Back when I was Carl's age. Younger."
"That long?"
"Family was wrapped up in gang shit. Dad was killed. Mom went back to Korea to search for the killer. Sister went missing. Aunt was a bitch that beat the shit out of me," I list off nonchalantly. "Got arrested with a friend because we got caught in a sting operation. No guardian would answer, so the officer called Rick. He sent Shane to get me and bring me back. Been living with Shane ever since."
"But, y'all knew each other prior?"
"Mhm. Rick was the Tom to my Jerry," I recall. "I made their jobs and lives a living hell. They let me off with warning after warning."
"You been arrested more times than I have," Daryl jokes.
"No, shit?"
"Merle was in and out of prison my whole life. I didn't want to deal with cops so I didn't get caught doing shit."
I tap my fingers on my stomach, the alcohol and upside down position making me feel dizzy. "You still got those meds?"
"They're in the truck. I thought we would be able to go back."
"Maybe Jenner has enough," I decide. "Did you deal?"
"I bought for Merle sometimes. But, I wasn't hooked or anything."
"That's a goddamn lie," I snort.
"What?"
"Come on. I was around gangs and became an EMT driver. I know what a fuckin' detox looks like, Ahjussi."
Daryl quirks a grin. "Got high a couple of times. Just to take the edge off."
"No judgment," I swear. "Hell, if I had a joint I'd blow that shit now. I haven't had a hit in years, but damn."
"I was just thinking about a cigarette."
"Lightweight ass bitch," I tease, handing the bottle back to him.
He chuckles and it makes me feel happy to know that even though others didn't get Daryl, at least he let me see this side of him.
"Was it always just you and Merle?" I wonder.
"Mom was gone when I was a kid. Probably Carl's age, too. Dad was a piece of shit that only knew how to break things."
I wasn't stupid on the topic of abuse. I had lived enough of it to catch the signs. I was only angry that it took me a while to pick up on Carol's abuse. But, that was because I was always on runs or with Carl.
I comb my hair back, pulling my bangs taught. I point out the scar hidden by my hairline. "Coffee table. Crazy bitch grabbed my hair and I went face first."
Daryl's lips curl in the tiniest smile. He wraps his left arm around himself, showing a scar along his shoulder blade that was usually covered by his vests. "Belt. The buckle caught me and ripped."
I scoff at his competitiveness, but couldn't deny that his scar was bigger. I take another drink of wine.
"You said that you trust 'em but they're stupid," Daryl remembers. "Do you still think that?"
"I feel like a lab rat in here. There's hella past on evil scientists, so I'm definitely keeping an eye on Jenner. We're alive.. but, I still can't shake the feeling."
Daryl nods, hearing me out.
"God knows I think they're stupid as hell for fucking around behind Rick's back."
"Shane and Lori?"
I rub my lips together and nod stiffly. "Thought Rick was dead. Won't tell him the truth. Just some fucked up soap opera shit."
"That's why I don't fuck crazy chicks," Daryl notes.
"Nah, you're just a virgin."
Daryl laughs.
"I guarantee I have sucked more dick than you."
"Well, I don't doubt that."
"And I've definitely eaten more pussy than you."
"Now you're just being a hoe."
"You think I'm hot enough to be a hoe?" I joke, making him laugh again. "Thanks, Ahjussi. I appreciate that."
"You ain't right, Doll," he says, holding his hand out for the bottle.
"Nothing is right anymore," I note, handing him the bottle. "Just 'cause things are serious doesn't mean we gotta lose our sense of humor."
"If anything we can just make fun of this shit more," he agrees. "Gotta do something so it ain't dead everywhere."
After he takes a drink, he hands it back to me. I take a big drink and some of it leaks, falling down my face from being upside down. Daryl chuckles again.
"You make me feel normal, man," I admit. "Call it a drunk haze, but.. I'm thankful for you. Really. Honest to God."
"You getting sappy on me now?"
"I have to act like I have my shit together with Shane and the others. I have to at least pretend like I'm a functioning adult. Not with you. I can just.. be me. I haven't really had that in a long time."
He reaches over and lightly punches my shoulder. "We understand each other. It ain't like the others. It's different."
I nod in agreement, feeling an emotional bubble in my throat. I set the bottle on the floor, figuring I'd had too much.
"You got me and I got you. You need something, you just let me know," Daryl says.
"Thanks, man."
I pull myself up and plop against the armrest of the couch, feet on the couch as I look down at Daryl.
"Both ways," I inform. "I got you, too."
Daryl's lips go flat and he nods in acknowledgment. He looks up at me and laughs.
"Damn, your face is red as hell," he jokes. "I think you beat Glenn."
"Fuckin' racist," I call out with a lighthearted tone and smile.
𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇 𝓇𝒶𝓂𝒷𝓁𝑒𝓈--
i simply could not keep this from you any longer