𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡
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It was all just too overwhelming.
Yiseul didn't know how to feel about this sudden new development in her life. She was so conflicted. On the one hand, she could already feel the connection in her heart and soul to the soulmates she'd met. She wanted to be with them, to feel their presence, to have that contented feeling filled with unconditional love and understanding. But on the other hand, she was terrified. The reality of her situation was settling in, and Yiseul was scared.
She was soulmates with idols. At the very least, with four of them, all in the same group. Not only that, but apparently a very popular group at that. That was a lot. And if any of their fans were to find out, it would be a bloodbath, it could end their careers... and if any of the media were to learn of her, or her pups– Yiseul felt a low growl rumble in the back of her throat at just the mere thought of the loss of privacy and how that could negatively affect her babies.
The urge to run away from it all hit her strong. But she couldn't do that.
Yiseul sighed, letting her head drop into her hands as she huffed out a strained breath from her stress. She currently sat at the island counter of her kitchen, nursing a cup of soju because she felt she deserved a little something for how stressed and worked up she'd gotten herself into in this last week and a half alone. Her pups were already put to bed, wanting to sleep in their own beds this night.
Her pups seemingly loved Changbin and Jeongin, while Taemi raved about all of the members if their names were ever mentioned. Her evening at dinner with Noémie and Rowan was proof enough of that. They'd indulged the girl, and themselves, gushing about each and every single member of Stray Kids, even showing her pups videos on them from YouTube. She'd purposefully ignored the pointed looks sent her way by her friends when she paid little attention to the videos.
She didn't want to learn things about them from these videos or anything. She wanted to get to know them organically. It felt wrong, almost like a breach in privacy to look them up or something along those lines.
What's worse, her friends had totally teased her to oblivion at the smell of Changbin's and Chan's scents on her, though faint as it was. And they'd freaked out when Taemi and Taeseong had told them of meeting Changbin that afternoon, which later led to Yiseul's own confession of meeting Chan when he'd come to pick up Changbin just as she was about to leave the park.
Worse, even, she couldn't get their scents out of her mind. Since meeting each soulmate, she'd yearned for their scents. She wanted to build a new nest of their scents, of Jeongin's refreshing rain scent, Changbin's calming sandalwood, Felix's sweet cream and citrus, Chan's clean eucalyptus. She needed to scent them, and wanted them to scent her. Until her head was fuzzy and she was but a limp pile of bones, sated and satisfied and utterly calm.
She'd missed that. Jamie had always taken her worries away and forced her to stop overthinking when he'd scent her.
. . .
"It's been a while since I've seen you," Felix murmurs into her neck when she opens her eyes upon falling asleep, finding herself once more in the dreamscape.
He's right. She had avoided seeing him in her dreams since she had found out about him, as well as just having a hard time sleeping. She hadn't known how to face him. What was she going to say? How was she supposed to act? It was different and awkward for her now that she knew he was actually a real person and not a figment of her imagination.
"I missed you," his low voice sends a shiver down her spine, so close to her ear, and he seems to find that amusing, by the chuckle that leaves his lips next. "You're so shy tonight."
"You're... real." she says softly, a little dumbly, but she doesn't know what else to say.
"I am," Felix hums, placing a sweet kiss into her neck, just above her scent gland, and she can't help the small whine that escapes her mouth. "I'm sorry for not telling you," Felix sighs softly into her skin, his arms around her middle tightening just a bit.
"Why didn't you... say anything?" Yiseul asks softly, turning around in his hold to face him, their legs now tangling together under the cool sheets. "All this time?"
Felix smiles a bit at seeing her face, then, but hums as he processes her question and thinks of the right words to say. In the meantime, Yiseul leans up and rubs her cheek into his neck gently, enjoying the small burst of orange-cream that seems to envelop her. "I'm glad you like my scent," He smirks a bit at her, and she flushes, averting her eyes away, but still enjoying the scent. Her own apple blossom scent mixing with his haplessly, happily.
She places a soft peck of a kiss into his neck, just below his scent gland, before pulling away. "You didn't answer my question," she insists softly, small pout pulling at her lips.
"I don't know, honestly," he admits delicately, "It happened so sporadically at first, it wasn't until a few years ago that it actually became such a regular appearance to my nights. It took me a little while to figure out that it was a dreamscape, a soulmate connection. And, since you didn't seem to realize... and I just wanted to enjoy our time together."
Yiseul nods, "Makes sense, it probably was because we lived in different countries until a few years ago," at his inquisitive hum, she continues, "After Jamie and I got married and I got pregnant, we moved to Seoul so that I could give birth here. My pups were born in June of 2019."
Felix laughs happily, nodding, "Yeah! Goddess, if only I could have seen you pregnant, you must have looked so cute waddling around."
Yiseul huffs, pushing her hands into his chest, and he just laughed into her neck, holding her closer as he curled around her. "Don't even joke about that, I was so big because I had twins. I looked like an inflatable ball with limbs."
He just laughs harder. She retaliates by nipping at his shoulder, which seems to put a stop to his teasing. "I'm sorry," he murmurs, smile still ever present in his voice.
"I met Changbin and Chan today," Yiseul says after a moment of silence.
Felix perks up a bit, eyes brightening at the sound of the names of his packmates and members. "You did?"
"You... They didn't tell you?" Yiseul's brow furrows.
Felix shakes his head. "We live in different dorms, and they've been in the studio all day and evening. I'll probably hear about it in the morning."
"They're also my soulmates," Yiseul says hesitantly.
"Seriously?" He exclaims, and his obvious glee shocks Yiseul. That was... not the reaction she had expected.
"It doesn't bother you?" Yiseul asks, surprised.
"Why would it?" Felix asks, "If I have to share you, I'd rather it be my hyungs and maknae, anyways. Admittedly, Jeongin had some reservations when he heard we shared a soulmate, but after we talked about it, he's kind of relieved. And honestly, I think I can say for the both of us we'd rather share you amongst our pack than with strangers."
"I have one more soul mark that hasn't been triggered, yet," Yiseul mumbles, avoiding his eyes, "So you never know, it might still happen."
"Then we'd cross that bridge when we come upon it," He says lightly, playing with her hair, curling some locks of it at the ends around his fingers. He waits a second longer, before asking, "What are your soul marks, if you don't mind me asking. You know, since we don't really have one."
"I have a small tattoo of a rain cloud on my wrist for Jeongin," Yiseul begins to explain, "A red string for Changbin, and the initials CB-97 on my wrist for Chan."
Felix nods, "That's cool. It makes sense, Chris was born in 1997, he's so old." The two of them giggle about it for a few moments, before he asks curiously, "What about the other one?"
"First words." Yiseul says, "Along one of my ribs." She hesitates for a second, before asking, "Tell me about your pack?"
Felix hums, smile brightening at the thought of his members, "In our group, Channie hyung is the Pack Alpha, but we're all alphas. We had actually thought Jeongin would present as a Beta, since he didn't present until after we formed the group, not long after we debuted actually. And Seungmin, too, since he was a bit of a late bloomer. On the other hand, Hannie was an early presenter, he presented as an Alpha when he was 16. I presented before I left Australia, which definitely helped convince my parents to let me come to Seoul." He giggled a little, before continuing, "Minho doesn't really talk much of his past, but he's also an Alpha. He's kind of Pack Mom, always taking care of us in his own quiet way. And Changbin really helped Chan when some of us were learning control over our subgenders. After Chris, Changbin and Seungmin have the best control, but in different ways."
Yiseul nodded, taking in the word vomit of information in form the enthusiastic young man. "How are they different?" Yiseul asks curiously.
"Seungmin is really good at controlling his scent, while Changbin is the best at controlling his instincts." Felix explains. "Jeongin used to have a hard time controlling his instincts, along with Hannie, but Chan spent a lot of time helping them out. And so long as Minho doesn't lose his temper, he's always in really good control over his instincts."
Yiseul hums, "I used to have a hard time controlling my Omega, so I get it. Jamie really helped me when we were teenagers, I was never really overly aggressive, but I used to have a hard time when I got overwhelmed."
"I can't wait for us all to meet you in person. You'll fit right in with us."
Yiseul smiles hesitantly, still a little unsure as she feels it wobble a bit.
"And I can't wait to see your pups," Felix smiles giddily, "Taemi was so cute, it broke our hearts when she had to leave the fanmeet, and I've heard some great things from Jeongin about your Taeseong."
Yisuel giggles, then, "I heard she threw a fit when it was time to go home, I'm sorry you had to deal with that. She's usually not like that with people. She likes making friends, but she's rarely ever so possessive like that."
"It was cute," Felix reassures, "And it wasn't too bad of a fit. She just didn't want the fun to end. And she kept clinging to Jeongin. But Chan handled her really well, he has practice dealing with kids, since he has seven of us after all." Felix and Yiseul break into laughter over his joking words.
"Can I confess something to you?" Yiseul asks after a long moment of their content silence, the two cuddling together in bed. It doesn't look like his room this time, instead being her own bedroom. But there's a shimmering at the corners and edges of the room, indicating to her that this was not real, but instead the dreamscape world where their souls were connected.
"Anything, angel." He breathes out, his deep voice still doing something to her so she has a small chill rush down her spine. "Oh? Did you like that?" He asks playfully, voice low, "Do you like when I call you angel?"
"I like your voice," Yiseul murmurs shyly, burying her head into his neck and shoulder.
"I'm sorry, I'll stop teasing." He giggles. "What did you want to tell me?"
"I'm scared." Yiseul admits, and his hold on her instinctively tightens.
"Of what?" he asks patiently, but she knows from his scent that he's protective of her and wants to keep her safe from whatever it is she's scared of.
"Of meeting you all, of being your soulmate." Yiseul admits, her eyes slowly beginning to sting as her throat feels clogged by something, or as if it's swelling, so she swallows thickly. "I didn't want to meet my soulmates. I was fine with Jamie. We were all we needed, and when we had Taemi and Taeseong, everything was perfect and complete. I didn't want to meet my soulmates, I didn't want them to ruin what I had... and then Jamie died, and I... I'm scared of moving on from him. He was the love of my life, and now, I feel these stirrings in my heart for you all, but I can't... I feel as if I'm betraying him, his love for me, his memory, our relationship we had..."
Felix ignores the ache in his heart from her confession, instead focusing on his hurt at seeing her so upset and crying, hushing her and cooing at her as he holds her gently, but close. He peppers kisses over her face, from her forehead and cheeks to her nose and chin and along her jaw. "Shhh, it's okay baby."
After she seems to calm down, he lets his hands cradle her face, forcing her to look up at him and meet his eyes. His thumbs rub her cheeks, wiping her tears away. He's not really sure what to say. So he just goes with what he feels, in his heart. "I wouldn't ever think that I was replacing your Jamie. He was your mate, and while he may not have been fated to you, he was still an important part of your life. He was the sire of your pups, that means a lot, and I wouldn't ever want you to think I was trying to steal that spot in your heart. And neither would the others."
"I know, I know that, I'm sorry, it's just... stupid." Yiseul sighs.
"Hey," a low growl enters his voice, rumbling from his throat, eyes narrowed, and his hold tightening ever so slightly. "It's not stupid. You're not stupid. Your feelings matter and are important, and they aren't silly or stupid." He belatedly realises his eyes glow red, his alpha coming to the surface.
Because Yiseul's eyes glow a beautiful golden.
He sighs, "There's my pretty omega." He coos at her softly, before placing a soft kiss to her forehead. When he pulls away, he continues gently, "I know this may seem scary and overwhelming, especially since instead of most people who only have like one or two soulmates, if they're lucky, you have more than that. But I want you to know, none of us would ever try to steal that spot in your heart for Jamie, and you're not betraying him or his memory or his love for you by moving on. You deserve to be happy, Yiseul."
Yiseul sniffs, nodding, "You're right," she agrees wetly. "None of you are taking his place, it just so happens that I have more room in my heart for all of you, not just for Jamie. I'll always love him, meeting my soulmates doesn't change that."
Felix smiles, "If only we met sooner." He sighs softly, a little mournful, but he shows her a smile that seems to brighten the room and her heart, lightening her mind. She doesn't say it, not wanting to voice this thought just yet, but she feels herself agreeing.
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