I'm sitting at the dining room table, my mom has set out a beautiful meal. We're waiting for my dad to leave his office, we can't eat without him. I feel my phone buzz. I quickly pull my phone out and hide it under the table so my mom doesn't see it, I see Luka's name on my screen. Luka Rodregiez is my best friend, my favorite person in the world, aside from my German shepherd Dingo.
"Evan put it away," My mom sternly tells me, I look up before I read the message and shove my phone in my pocket. My mom's sitting at the other side of our round table from me, her big reading glasses on, and her long blonde hair pinned up into a pleasing-to-look-at messy bun. I hear my father's office door open and close. He makes his way down the stairs and we all straighten ourselves out for him. He makes his way to the table and sits in his seat.
"Hello sir," My sister, Eliza greets him, I repeat what she says. My mother starts making his plate, it's spaghetti tonight. When he has his plates we all take hands and pray. I don't necessarily believe in praying, or God, but I don't not believe in it. My family is heavily catholic so it's not a me thing, it's a them thing, and I go along. We say amen, and start making our plates.
"So, Evan, basketball tryouts are this Friday," My father begins, "I shouldn't be worried you'll mess it up?" He asks it's not a question, this is him reminding me not making the team isn't an option. That's ok. I'm the best player we have, even if both my legs were broken they'd still put me on the team.
"No sir, of course not," I reply, that's the end of the conversation, my sister clears her throat.
"Father, Marie wants to know if I could go shopping this weekend," Eliza asks, my father is mid-spaghetti swallow, he grabs a napkin and wipes his face before he answers.
"Marie? Isn't that the freaky emo girl?" He enquires, and Eliza doesn't answer immediately, making him mad. "Elizabeth answer me when I ask you a question."
"She has...an alternative fashion sense," Eliza replies hesitantly, father looks disgusted. I look away and continue eating my spaghetti, I'm almost finished.
"I don't want you hanging out with those people," He answers shortly, Eliza sighs deeply, and he puts his fork down, I can feel him staring at her without even looking up. "Amanda hung out with those kinds of people, see where she is now? I don't need another mistake happening." He explains he's angry, but he sounds calm.
"Amanda is doing great for herself actually," Eliza protested, "It's not her fault YOU kicked her out," Eliza added, yeah, she's done for. She can kiss her phone, car, and goodbye for at least two months.
"Amanda left because she decided she wanted to live a life of sin instead of with her loving family," He explains, I finish my spaghetti.
"Could I be excused please?" I ask quietly, my father gives me a nod before he continues to tear into Eliza. I leave as fast as possible.
I go upstairs to my room, I close my door, and fall on my bed. My phone buzzes again I remember Luka had texted me. I pull my phone out, he has texted me again, and I open the messages.
Luka: Evan are you busy?
EVANNNNNNNNN please meet me at Acorn Fields
Me: Do you want me to pick you up?
Luka: Yessir!
Me: Be there in 10
I let out a laugh and put my phone in my pocket. I grab my car keys and head downstairs. My parents are now in the living room, Eliza must've stormed off to her room. I tell them I'm leaving to get Luka and they tell me to have fun. I get into my car and start for Luka. His house is a few streets over so it only takes ten minutes. I pull into his driveway and honk my horn, he's out in a few seconds. He gets in my car and greets me loudly.
"WHAT IS UP DAWG?" He greets me, I laugh and shake my head as he buckles up and I back out of his driveway.
"Hey Lu," I say, I begin our drive to Acorn Field Park.
"Dude, these basketball tryouts are getting me so stressed," Luka begins, he's also on the basketball team. That's how we became friends about five years ago and we've been unseparated since. I agree with him, we've been nonstop practicing for months, Luka scoffs at me. "You have nothing to be stressed about," He laughs.
"Well, I mean it's just a lot of pressure," I inform him, he snorts and rolls his eyes, "You know how my dad is," I remind him, and he lets out a fake gagging noise. He was the first person that opened my eyes about my dad. I thought how my family interacted was normal, but I guess it's not. So I guess it's safe to say he hates my father. We turn into the park and I head to our normal parking spot next to the playground.
"Your dad needs to get a grip," He says, I chuckle, and we get out of my truck, I grab blankets from the backseat and we go to the bed and hop up in it. We like to sit in the bed of my truck and talk, stare at the sky, or do nothing. We just like being with each other, as friends do. "You think you're gonna go to the Snowball?" Luka asks I hadn't thought about it, school dances aren't my thing, and it's only the beginning of November.
"I don't know, probably not," I answer, "I don't really have anyone to go with," I continue, I've never been the dating type. I've had girlfriends but they've liked me way more than I've liked them. I like being close with people like that, but I guess I haven't met the right girl. "Have you?" I asked him, he let out a small, airy laugh.
"I was hoping you'd be taking a hottie with a best friend," He laughs, he playfully punches my shoulder, and I laugh along, I look up at the sky, the sun is setting and the stars are peeking through. I let out a long exhale as I fixate on the sky. Luka looks up too.
"The sky's so pretty at night Lu," I say softly, he stifles a laugh, I look down and shoot him a confused look, he looks back at me and covers his mouth as he laughs. He starts to lay down and forgets trying to hide his amusement with what I said.
"That-oh my god," He begins, "Gayest thing I've ever heard," He spits out, his laughter calming down, I scoff, he always does this, I'll say something that could be taken as not so masculine, and suddenly I like kissing boys.
"Is there something wrong with being gay?" I protest jokingly, he clears his throat, he's still lying down but he's on his side, his arms propping him up.
"Of course not, it's 2024 for God's sake Evan," He says with another chuckle, I join him in lying, and I face him while lying on my side. Our faces are inches apart, and his freckles are more visible from this angle, he has big brown eyes that are protected by his square black glasses. Our laughter dies out and we're just looking at each other now, he goes to say something but bites his lip.
"What?" I press, and he shakes his head and lays on his back, "Dude you can't keep shit from me," I joke.
"I know, trust me I know," He agrees, it's not a lie, he tells me everything, and since I know him so well even if he doesn't tell me something I'll figure it out. He opens his mouth for a second, and hesitates before he speaks, "Do you wanna stay the night tonight?" He asks, "I know it's a school night but-"
"I'll tell my parents I'll be home tomorrow," I tell him, he smiles, I text my mom I'm staying over at Luka's and she doesn't care.
We make it back to Luka's house and make our way to his room. He gives me a pair of his sweatpants to sleep in so I can change out of my jeans. I head to his bathroom to change and come back to his room.
"Do you wanna watch a movie?" He asks, "I can rent any on my laptop," He adds, he already has his laptop open next to him on his bed. Who am I to deprive this man of his movie time?
"Yeah sure, what movie we thinking?" I ask, his face lights up, he's the biggest movie fanatic, I swear the staff at every movie theater in the county knows him. Hell, probably every one of them in the state. I lay next to him in his bed, as he puts on some movie I don't recognize.
"It's called Dead Poets Society," He says, it looks old, but it looks decent from the start. We get comfortable in his bed and continue watching the movie. Luka's bed isn't big, so we're pretty close to each other, which is fine, I don't mind being close to him. It makes me feel safe in a way, that sounds super gay, but I'm not gay, he's just my best friend. In the middle of the movie Luka wrapped his arm around me, he said it was getting squished and falling asleep. I didn't mind, I inch closer to him, and his arm hugs my shoulder. We continue the movie like this. Whenever we do this I always get this feeling in my stomach. Like TV static but in a good way, it's warm, and it's nice. I notice he's fallen asleep. I can't help but smile at him, I close his laptop and lay it on the floor. I'm about to get up to sleep on the couch, where I normally sleep when he wraps his other arm around me and snuggles himself more into me. I get this weird feeling in my face like it's getting warmer, part of me wishes we could stay like this forever, it's nice, it's safe, it's warm.
I begin to fall asleep. It hits me as I'm drifting off that maybe I shouldn't feel this way. This is how girls describe how it feels to love their boyfriends. Why am I feeling like this about Luka? Why do I want to cuddle with a boy? Maybe I'm just touch starved. Maybe it'll pass when I meet a pretty girl.