September 23rd, 8:12pm
The warm showers I take always leave my mind empty and refreshed. But I can't help but still feel guilty this time. It's inescapable how bad I feel. It's like I ripped out my heart somehow, just by looking at her disheartened face after yelling at her. I hate it.
I never knew I would eventually hurt her, make her avoid me like this. I don't want to scare her. Sometimes my anger gets the best of me when it involves my boys though. My family.
Knocking on the bathroom door interrupts my thoughts of guilt. I turn the shower off.
"Who is it?" I call out.
"It's me."
I let out a soft sigh of relief. Now I can finally speak with her.
"Give me a second." I step out of the shower and grab my towel, wrapping it around my waist and tucking the end in. I dry my hair with my smaller towel quickly before making my way to the door. I take a deep breath before turning the knob and opening the door.
Just seeing her face makes my heart soften. "What is it, Y/N?"
My eyes trail down to her hands twisting the hem of her shorts. Her fingers had bandages because of cuts gained from practicing archery. I wish I could heal her injuries with just a kiss.
"Chan."
My eyes snap up from my trance, keeping focus on what she has to say now.
"I... I'm sorry for going against what you said. I won't do it again."
I feel like my heart is chipping away piece by piece at her words. I take her hands in mine and gently squeeze.
"Don't be sorry. I should be sorry. I had no right to last out at you like that."
She looks down at our hands, not reciprocating the squeeze like she usually does. "I just feel really bad for not listening."
I keep my hold on her hands, wanting to just listen to her right now.
"I forgive you for lashing out at me, Chan. But I want to let you know how it made me feel at least. I didn't expect it for one...and I was a little scared and hurt. But I won't hold it over your head because I know you didn't mean it. You just have a lot of concern for the guys and I get it. You have a stronger bond with them that I won't understand. And I don't want to be the reason for them being put in danger. So the next time you tell me to go for them first, I will."
I pull her closer and wrap my arms around her tightly. Her face tucks into the crook of my neck and I nuzzle her hair, taking in the fresh scent of blossoms and tulips. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way. And I'm glad you'll listen to me next time, but I won't be mad next time if you have a good reason to not listen to me."
I pull back a little to look down at her, one of my hands reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.
"You're smart, and I'll give you credit for any good thing you do. You took responsibility on your own to save me. I'm proud of that. I'm proud of you. Always. And I shouldn't set your feelings aside because of my worry for the guys. I don't want you to feel left out or like they mean more to me."
A small smile cracks upon her lips, and I can't help but smile widely now.
"You're so cute." I kiss her forehead tenderly. "Never stop smiling."
She shakes her head. "I can't promise that."
My hands run through her hair gently. "Well, I promise to try my hardest to avoid hurting you ever again. Okay? Then you can smile around me more often."
She nods her head. "Okay, I trust you."
She trusts me.
I notice her eyes then trailing down my still slightly wet torso, her hands still pressed against my pecs.
"Like what you see?"
Her eyes snap back up to meet mine, flickering to my lips just once. I take that as a sign to seal her lips with mine, muffling her gasp.
I flick the tongue out to tease her lower lip before her lips part slightly, giving me a chance to slip my tongue inside.
The heat between us grows as we continue to make out, my hands touching every single clothed and unclothed inch of her body as I push her towards the bed.
Once she lays on the bed, I pull away from the kiss to look down at her. Her chest rises and falls with every pant.
"We haven't done this in a while..." My hand slithers down her thigh.
Her thighs squeeze closed in response, making tempting me to just spread her legs apart.
"Do you want to do it right now?"
She nods immediately. "I want to."
Her arms wrap around my neck and I kiss a trail down her neck to her collarbone, leaving tender, wet kisses. I nip and suck occasionally, leaving love bites.
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