❝ NEPO BABY ❞
© sillygoosesuz, 2024
tills sat down on the porch with legs pulled to her chest, trying to take deep breaths and calm herself down. but her anxiety was too much, and she started having a full-blown panic attack. her heart was racing, and she felt like she couldn't breathe.
how the hell was her body supposed to stay calm when she came face to face with chris after three months of no contact?
"tills?" she turned to see chris quickly walking out of the door. of fucking course.
she quickly turned away from him. this was the last person she wanted to see her in such vulnerable state. chris approached tilly quickly and placed his hand on her shoulder but she just pushed him back and leaned over, putting hands on her knees.
she shook her head, unable to speak.
literally all she could do was shake her head.
chris looked down at her with a scared expression "tilly, you have to sit up straight. you're compressing your lungs. sit up, please" he said sternly as walked over to her again putting his hand on her back.
"chris, go inside" tilly managed to muster out
"no" he said instantly "sit straight" chris almost demanded, grabbing her arm and moving her to the grass next to them.
matilda didn't have the energy to fight him at this point, so she just sat there with chris next to her, his hand still on her arm. his other hand placed on her knee, as he stared deeply at her face. his touch was burning her bare skin. she glanced to him and then back in front of her.
tills face scrunched with pain and confusion as held her head back trying to feel the cold air around her.
"tell me what's wrong. what hurts?" he asked quickly, not looking away from her face for a second. he was so soft. almost like nothing bad happened between them.
shortness of breath came out of her mouth, over and over like she had just run a marathon. her hands shaking as she pointed to her chest over and over, not looking at chris.
chris grabbed her shaking hand and matilda turned to look at him. this was so fucking humiliating for her. but that's not what was running through her mind. it was the little oxygen running through her lungs.
"chris, i can't breath" she said harshly "fuck, it's scary"
not another second passed before he spoke again "tills, tell me three things you can see right now, look around. focus" chris ordered squeezing tills hand so she sat up and looked at him and the concern in his eyes.
matilda nodded and looked around "clouds" she whispered, attempting to breath and he nodded "grass" she said shaking my head. tills heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest "fuck i don't know, i'm so scared" matilda said closing my eyes.
chris shook his head "no, no. you're doing so good. just one more thing daisy. you can do it. what's one more thing you can see?" he said quickly.
"daisies on my dress"
"good, now three things you can hear" he said and tilly attempted to take a deep breath, but failed "don't try to focus on you're breathing. focus on what i'm saying and listen to my voice" he said calmly looking at her struggling.
"your voice. i can hear your voice. and nick yelling at conrad right now" she chuckled lightly.
"good job baby" he smiled at her and brushed hair away from her face "one more thing"
baby. it probably hurt more than a dagger stuck straight into the heart.
"don't call me that chris. you lost your right to do that long time ago"
"i'm sorry. it slipped" he said but it felt like he didn't only apologize for this, more like for everything that happened in the span of the last few months "do you feel better now?"
"yeah i guess.." tills says softly as she wiped mascara from under her eyes "i'm sorry, that's humiliating"
"do not apologize for shit like that ever again" chris said quickly "do you want to go inside now?"
"can you give me a minute alone?"
"yes, i will wait inside"
matilda in fact spend next thirty minutes sitting on the grass outside of triplets' house just overthinking every second of whatever just happened.
ivy and conrad decided that it would be for the best if they all stayed at triplets house that night. tilly was too exhausted to even object to this idea.
after a long and hot shower she was laying on the couch in random let's trip shirt and nick's purple sweatpants, unable to fall asleep. her friends were already asleep in nick's room.
matt suggested several times that she could sleep in his bedroom and he would go to chris' room, but tilly chose couch in the living room. the last thing she wanted was to take away the comfort of his own room.
something definitely kept stopping matilda from sleeping. the bright phone screen was the only source of light in the room when she had been mindlessly scrolling through tiktok for several minutes.
her brain was melting because of the five-second videos of funny cats that her dad kept sending her.
after the earlier incident, everyone started to worry too much about her. ivy and matt kept looking at her with that compassionate look and connie and nick were talking like crazy just so she wouldn't have to sit in silence for even a moment. chris was the most worried and the most guilty at the same time.
this feeling of being a burden was so hard. a huge weight on her shoulders when all her friends were worried about her because she couldn't do the simplest human interactions.
and suddenly the notification makes the girl freeze in place. just the name of the contact hurts her heart.
matilda : daisy🩷
chris : deer🧡
deer🧡
are you awake?
daisy🩷
yeah
deer🧡
you okay?
why aren't you asleep?
it's 3 am
daisy🩷
i don't know
can't calm down for some reason
deer🧡
do you wanna sleep in my room?
daisy🩷
chris
i don't think that this is a good idea
deer🧡
i know
but we can just sit in silence and watch gravity falls
i will go to matt's room later
daisy🩷
i'm not sure
deer🧡
pls
let's forget what happened
for one night
daisy🩷
okay
but we are watching rick and morty
author notes .ᐟ
i wasn't planning on doing double update today but there were comments that you would like it, so here you go🩷🩷
also sorry we're on a bit of a cliffhanger now but that means we are also closer to the end of the angst era too🫡🫡
this is the last double update for a while because now i seriously have to do my best for the exams on which my future depends(i'm scared of growing up i'm just a girl)
thank you so much for 80k reads i love every single one of you🩷🩷
all the love, suzie🤍