Nathaniel Voughn Villegas POV
"Bro check this out" akbay sakin ni Riyu at pinakita ang picture ng babae na may madaming followers.
"I already dated her" sabi ko sakanya. Madali kong pinagsawaan ang babaeng yan dahil sex lang naman ang habol nan sakin at para may maipagmalaki sa iba na may boyfriend siyang kagaya ko.
It has been my same routine for over the years. Find an attractive woman, flirt, date, sex but I only do it to girls who are worth it, break up. I never get bored dahil araw araw nakakakilala ako ng mga babaeng alam kong makukuha ko.
"Hoy Nathan!" napabaling ako sa babaeng tumawag sakin at isang malakas na sampal ang natanggap ko. Napahawak ako sa pisngi ko at napangisi.
"You should've slap me harder woman." Sabi ko.
"Hayop ka break na tayo" sabi niya sakin, parang paiyak na siya anytime. Hayst, hindi na bago sakin ang may sumampal dahil nalaman na nambababae ako.
"Okay, see you" sagot ko sakanya.
"Wala ka talagang puso noh." My smirk faded.
My heart? Yeah I guess.
"So noisy, let's head out." Aya ko sa mga tropa ko at iniwan yung babae sa bench.
"Sheesh pre may pinaiyak ka na naman." Sabi ng kaibigan ko.
"They should know, I'm just playing no deep relationships" sabi ko at nagkibit balikat. Nang mapa-daan kami sa building na may mga babaeng naglilipat ng canvas. Building of arts I guess.
"Zid patulong naman oh"
"Ah sure" napalingon ako doon sa babaeng papunta doon sa tutulungan niya.
"Pare first years palang yang mga yan" sabi ni Riyu samin.
"I don't mind flirting with naive students" nakangising sabi ko habang nakatitig doon sa babaeng ang palayaw ay Zid.
"Dude bago yan ah." Rinig kong sabi ng kaibigan ko pero hindi ko iyon pinansin dahil sinusundan ko ng tingin yung babae.
"Cute" unconsciously, I uttered. Well, I don't mind tasting a new freshly snack from arts department.
At first, I already forgotten that woman from arts dahil bukod sa tuloy-tuloy ang paglapit ng mga babaeng grasya sakin ay busy din ako sa pag-aaral ko. I can balance both my studies and hobbies.
But one day I bump into her again sa canteen. She is wearing a girls uniform so neatly, her eyes were light brown with a pair of almond eyes, her lips were kissable and she looks innocent that I can see blush on her cheeks.
Did you already fall for me?
And I was right, she really did fall for me. Before I started to date her, palagi ko siyang makikitang nasulyap sakin sa canteen since iisa lang ang canteen ng business at arts department. It made me want to persue her and try to experience having a relationship with her.
I found out that her name is Zideya Ann Corpuz, a familiar surname. Same as my brothers friend, Corpuz din ang apilyedo. And then to persue a woman of course as usual, I brought her flowers and date her until she said yes. Akala ko ay magpapakipot pa ito pero mali pala ako. It was easy. She was easy to get.
I realize that she was naive, and I'm her first boyfriend. I tried to act like I am inlove too but I don't know much about that dahil isang babae lang ang minahal ko pero iniwan niya ako at pumunta sa ibang university, that woman also hurt me.
Attempting to seduce her was hard, akala ko ay ibibigay niya na sakin ang gusto ko pero hindi pa daw siya handa. Cute. But my patience wasn't that long so secretly I flirt with other girls outside the university to satisfy my desires that Zideya wasn't giving to me.
We broke up and come back together many times at siya palagi ang nagaaproach. Natatawa nalang ako, she's like my other affairs. Womans are the same I guess. Pero pinagbibigyan ko siya, wala lang bored lang din kasi talaga ako, at kahit na girlfriend ko siya ay nakakapaghanap pa naman ako ng mga bagong babae ng hindi niya nalalaman unless may mga rumors na hindi maiiwasan.
Until Sarah came back. My anger rose up and plot my revenge by bedding her and leaving her right away. Para maramdaman niya ang pakiramdam na ginamit pang one night stand. I was mad while having a sex with her at my condo and swear that I won't let her come in again. Yes she turns me on but its because I am sexual active but my feelings for her are long gone.
After bedding Sarah I didn't talk to her after that and go to the bathroom to wash myself. "I missed you V, seriously." Rinig kong sabi ni Sarah sa labas ng banyo, but I didn't respond back, mas lalo lang uminit ang ulo ko.
"Get out." Walang ganang sabi ko, a long silence happened and I know that she left my condo. But I notice something inside my room. My closet was open. Hindi ko alam kung makakalimutin lang ako pero I don't leave my closet open. I go to the kitchen and saw a bouquet of almost dried flowers on the table.
Zideya... Did you come here first?
My mind was analyzing everything. The closet was open, and there's flowers on my table. "F*ck" napamura ako. I came to a conclusion na baka... Baka nakita niya ang pakikipag-talik ko kay Sarah.
My heart was racing and felt the heaviness on my chest. I felt guilty. She don't deserve to see what I did to Sarah on my bed. Naka-ilang beses na mura ko.
Though I am confuse too. Bakit ko nararamdaman to. Dapat wala akong pakeelam sa nararamdaman ng mga nagiging babae ko.
Zid
Magkita tayo ngayon sa fountain sa likod ng school 3pm.
I have an idea about the topic we will talk about. At walang araw na hindi ako naguilty, hindi na ako makapunta ng bar dahil kahit na pumunta ako doon ay madidistract pa din ako at hindi ko maeenjoy ang gabi.
"Pre are you still the Nathan that we knew?" Tanong ni Andrew sakin habang nakaupo kami sa desk.
Napakunot ang noo ko, "yes. Seriously. Why would you ask that kind of question?" Sagot at tanong ko din.
"Nothing, we just don't see hanging out with girls again. Or did that freshman girl changed you" nakangising tanong niya, "yiiieee, nabalik na siya sa pagiging lover boy" asar nila sakin.
They even mimicking some girl tones and intimate me, "baby kumain kana"
"Hindi pa sabay tayo, subuan moko"
"shige, mwa mwa mwa"
"Bro y'all making me sick" I was not impressed by their acting. It also doesn't help the heaviness inside my chest.
It made me realize that I was not really the guy who usually go to bars and flirts with girls for 2 days. I have to get it together, no strings attached. Don't give any sympathy to any girls you date Nathaniel. Don't ever.
Dumating na ang hapon at nagkita kami ni Zideya sa usual spot namin. She was serious this time, I don't see her eyes sparkles whenever she see me.
"You never love me do you?" Yun agad ang tanong niya. Some parts of me feel so heavy. Her eyes are teary too, it makes me want to wipe it with my thumb.
Get it together Nathaniel, show no empathy and care.
I listened to every words she said. Right, I also never expected na tatagal ako sakanya ng isang taon. Wala naman talaga akong balak na magtagal na kasama siya but I don't know.
"Ganun ka na ba talaga katigang at sa iba ka nakikipag-sex? T*ngina Nathan akala ko mababago kita, I hope and prayed that someday you'll change and be better. But no, you didn't." She uttered looking so mad at me, her bright brown eyes are now looking so scary.
I was right, she saw everything inside my room doing it with Sarah. I gulped. I hate this feeling, I will end things with her now. I should hurt her more.
"Katigang? Shut the f*ck up Zideya! Nakipag-relationship ka sakin dapat alam mong kahit na girlfriend kita, may iba pa din akong hahanapin. And you're right, I never loved you," nakangising sabi ko, "but don't worry sa dami nang putahe na natikman ko, ikaw pa din ang hihintayin at paborito ko. So don't throw tantrum anymore, ang ingay mo." Pagpapanggap na reklamo ko.
In able to not feel this guilt and ache, I must do this. She can hate me all she can. I have to protect my feelings. I don't want to show it anymore.
At mukhang mas lalo nga siyang nagalit sakin, good. I even pretend to expect her coming back to me after 4 days but I know after what she saw between me and Sarah, hindi na siya babalik. Good, that's right angel, go away from this devil.
"I will never ever go back to you. After what I saw? That was my limit. Let's end this f*cking relationship now. Ayaw na kitang makita pa, malaya ka nang gawin ang gusto mo. Goodbye." Sabi niya at umalis na sa harapan ko.
I was left alone, the whole place was quiet. Hiwalay na kami and permanent na. Well, I should get back on what I really wnat to do.
Nag-aya ang kaibigan ko mag-club daw kami. Kaya pumayag ako. I wore, black short sleeves, sakto lang para ma-flex ang muscles ko at hinayaang nakabukas ang tatlong butones ng damit ko at gray jaggers at nag-sneakers. I also fix my hair revealing my handsome forehead leaving some strands on my hair at nagpabango. To attract feminine species.
It's time to forget Zideya and start playing once again. Its gonna be fun just like before. Yes, that's right.
A bunch of girls sworn around us that night, and I was unexpectedly entertained and drinks keeps coming.
I push the woman against the wall while kissing her neck, leaving marks on her. "Nate" somehow it doesn't sound good to my ears.
"Call me V woman" I told her and continue touching her.
"Nathaniel" nanlaki ang mata ko at napatigil, my heart skips at tinignan ang babae na hindi ko naman kilala. Parang nag-dalawang tao nag paningin ko at nakita ako mukha ni Zideya sa harapan ko.
What the f*ck!?
"V, V why did you stop?" Natauhan ako at nawala na ang mukha ni Zideya sa babae.
I clenched my jaw and move back. "Get out" naiinis na sabi ko.
"What the hell? Urgh! I hate you" sabi ng babae at umalis na sa harapan ko.
Is it because of the drink kaya nagdadalawa na ang paningin ko? No, I am high tolerance. I can't get drunk that fast. Pumunta ako sa banyo at naghilamos ng mukha, at tumingin sa salamin.
What did you do to me Zideya...
TO BE CONTINUED...