The penthouse was suffocating, and its opulence was mocking me. All the wealth in the world couldn't bring me the peace that I sought in Luna's laughter. It still echoed in the corners, haunting me like a ghost. I couldn't stay here knowing it was mere hours ago that I had her in my arms, happy, radiant, and full of love. The desperate cries of her moans stirred my hunger for her. She had a soft, gorgeous body that always drove me to my knees. Her smell marked me in the most primal ways possible and yet it was never enough.
She had been distraught over information that had come to light. For me looking after her was as natural as the next breath I took. Now she shut me out, her silence an abyss I couldn't seal.
I needed to escape. The city's heartbeat pulsed below, and I descended from my isolation. Work became my refuge as it always had been. The office buzzed with activity, a distraction from the ache in my chest. I buried myself in reports, emails, anything to forget her. The sun dipped low, casting long shadows across my desk.
At six Manuel strode in as per his usual carefree self. I envied that. I used to have it back when I was only Ares and had no worries that came with the Rafaelli name. His eyes, sharp as a hawk's, locked onto mine. He knew. Manuel always did. We'd been through hell together, our loyalty forged in blood. He asked me about my mood, but I brushed it off even though I could tell he didn't believe me. He was an aid in my mission to grab any information I could about Luna. Like a starved man I used to yearn for just the sight of her, just her voice, perhaps even seeing her from afar would quench my thirst but I didn't trust myself to not fuck it up and had settled for photographs and updates on her whereabouts instead. Over the years the dossier I compiled on her had grown extensively. She was never supposed to find out and now that she did, I struggled to accept her outburst. I understood her reaction and was more than prepared to make it up to her in any way I could. If only she'd come back to me.
Manuel iterated about the latest news on our ventures. My enemies were extensive and dangerous. There was always someone hiding in the shadows to have a pound of my flesh.
I nodded absently, my mind elsewhere. Luna's face swam before me, drowning out Manuel's words. I listened, but my heart wasn't in it even if I knew the Russian mob he spoke about was not to be treated lightly.
"You're oddly calm today. Is everything okay?" I nearly scoffed. I was disoriented. "I haven't seen a day of calm ever since I took over." My father's messes costed me everything included the woman I loved. Still, I had managed well, taking on the challenge and fighting back against those who held danger to my family. They had got to me before, stabbing me where it hurt the most and taking away the people who mattered the most to me. My hands were still drenched in the blood and their faces flashed across my eyes whenever I closed them. Too painful, too haunting.
"The Russians need to be dealt with. With Dominik and Ivor dead, our bases have weakened, and they have seen it as an opportunity to capture our bases. Thankfully there was none of our inventory there but who knows when and where they're planning a next attack on us."
I blinked, refocusing. The throbbing at the back of my head was dull now but I knew I had to deal with the problems at hand first before I could wallow in my misery by myself. "They won't be able to get to us. I don't believe they got to our bases on their own. Someone from the inside tipped them off." Once I got hold of whoever it was, I was going to make them wish they were dead.
Manuel's eyes widened, "Could it be Christopher?"
"I can't be sure, but he has probably something to do with it. He's must have aid from someone in our circles."
Manuel took in the information and nodded. "Keep a close eye on him. I want to know his every move. Find out what he did and where he went, who was with him in the past week. Have it here by morning."
"Yes boss."
I dialed my desk phone to my secretary who promptly answered. "Get me Sokolov on the line." Manuel nearly jerked back in his seat when he realised what I was going to do. If the Russian mob boss wanted to yank my chains, then I'd directly have a word with him. There was a pause on the other line and then Valentina spoke, "Got it, boss."
Fifteen minutes later I had the gruff heavily accented voice of Anton Sokolov. The enthusiasm in his voice told me he I was right about him expecting my call.
"Rafaelli, you didn't have to take the trouble of calling me. I would..."
I cut him off, "You wanted my attention, Sokolov, you have it." The chair creaked on the other side, and I heard him speak in thick Russian to someone. But it was lost to me.
"I was displeased to hear your men waltzed into my territory last week and took off with Dominik and Ivor. I thought you wanted to keep peace?" Ah, so that's what he was after. Dominik and Ivor looked after my Russian operations and worked in territories controlled by Sokolov and other local gangs. I paid them money and an assurance to keep peace as long as my business ran smoothly. But knowing those fuckers were betraying me I had pulled them off site. Their death had roughened things with the Russians.
"So, you ambush my bases? Don't forget, Sokolov I am not a man you want to piss off. If you try to attack my men, you'll find me at your door and that is not going to turn out good for you." I let him hear the warning in my tone. My first and only one. Next time he'd find his head under my feet.
"Are you threatening me?" his voice took an edge, but I wasn't deterred.
"Consider it a caution. You know what I'm capable of." My own hands had been stained by blood of countless people. I wasn't proud of it, but I protected what's mine.
There was cursing and muttering from his side. I let him absorb. "Fine, I'll stay back." I smiled pleased with his intelligence. After a long moment he spoke again, "I was thinking I'd come to New York soon and renegotiate our terms. Maybe you'll introduce me to your lady too."
He hung up and I resisted the urge to slam my fist into the table. Dread crept up my spine. Luna was exposed to everything I feared, and it threatened me more than anything. That slimy bastard had got to me through the woman I loved. "Damn it." I picked up the paper weight that glowed in the artificial lights of my office. Hurling it across the room I saw it shatter into a million pieces much like Luna had done not too long ago. We were similar in that way. The thought almost warmed me.
As night fell, we left the office. The city's neon glow painted the streets, and I climbed into the car. Jason glanced at me in the rearview mirror. His eyes held concern, but he knew better than to ask questions.
"Take me to Luna's," I said, surprising even myself.
Manuel stiffened. "You know you can't go there."
"The hell I can't." I needed to hold her and touch her to calm my heart. I also needed to make sure she was safe. She lived in the part of Brooklyn than was out of my reach, outside my territory.
"Her apartment building falls under Christopher's territory. You'll only give him reason to plot his next move." I understood Manuel's worries but damnit, I didn't care what it costed me. What was important was securing Luna and making sure we were sorted.
The helplessness took me down to a dark place and sent my mind into motion. The previous few times I had shown up at Luna's apartment I had done so discreetly and without caring what it would cost me. My need to have her had overpowered my senses.
I leaned back, watching the city blur past. I reached the penthouse at nearly nine. Jason took Manuel home and I sat in solitude. Not too long ago I had preferred it. The silence provided me a moment to dream about a future I no longer deserved. But now everything had changed. Luna's face haunted me—the curve of her lips, the fire in her eyes. I'd risk everything for her, even if it meant stepping into the jaws of the shark.
Love and danger collided, and I wondered which would consume me first.
Standing outside the door I preferred to call rather than knock the door and frighten her at this hour. I hoped she'd answer and not ignore me like she had been doing to my calls and texts all day. Fuck! It reminded me of us in college and how she'd get mad at me for reasons lost to memory now. But I'd always made up to her. She couldn't stay mad at me for long.
"Ares?" The groggy-sleep laden voice told me I had woken her up from sleep.
"Luna, I'm outside. Let me in, please." I'd beg if that's what it took.
"Outside? What..." I heard sounds of sheets rustling and switches turning on. A few seconds later I heard her footsteps arriving towards me. Relief flooded me when she opened the door. But chest tightened at the sight of her red eyes and tear stained cheeks. My poor, sweet love had cried herself to sleep. All because of me.
"My God." I breathed her in by taking her in my arms. I felt alive again.
"What are you doing here?" She asked rubbing her eyes. I smoothed a hand over her untamed hair and drew myself in. "You shouldn't come in." I gauzed her reaction and saw annoyance on her face.
"I know, but I can't be seen here. We need to talk." I shut the door behind me. While I moved in Luna stayed rooted to her feet. She was so stubborn. It was always a pleasure of mine to melt her resolve and give into me. Not because I forced her but because she voluntarily gave herself to me in every way.
She frowned but I distracted her from focusing on the reasons I couldn't be in this part of the city. "I can't stand you being so away from me. Tell me how I can make this up to you." It had only been a few hours since she had left me but the torture seemed like it lasted an eternity.
"You've had practice. I'm sure you can manage it again." The taunt was more than deserved.
"Luna, I love you, I always have. Can't you see it is shredding me?" She inhaled a sharp breath, her eyes falling to the floor. I hated seeing her in so much distress.
I grabbed her hand and placed it over my heart. We were connected through our hearts, and I hoped it'd be enough to make her realise how much I loved her. She yanked her hand away as if it burned her and put a distance between us by sitting at the far edge of the couch. I followed her but maintained the distance she had put because I knew I was only going to make her madder if I didn't pay heed to her boundaries.
"I don't doubt it, Ares. I know you love me. I'm not mad about that. It's the whole secrets and spying thing which is making me uncomfortable. If you can't explain it to me then please don't expect me to forgive you." Her voice was soft. She didn't sound angry, just exhausted. I could work with that.
It took me a lot of time to come up with the right words. But she waited patiently without making any sound. I felt her gaze on me, and it encouraged me to open up to her.
"I was fucked up after our breakup. I was angry and didn't know how to manage my feelings. I was also desperate and starved for you. I thought of coming back to you, several times. One time I almost called you just because I wanted to hear your voice." My fists balled remembering the pain I endured from having my whole life being turned upside down.
She was silent and unmoving waiting for me to go on. "I was obsessed with you, I still am. When the desperation got too much, I asked Manuel to keep an eye on you and make sure you were safe. He'd bring me occasional photographs and it soothed me. Before I knew it, I was tracking your movements like a man possessed. There were also people who wouldn't think twice before coming after you to get back at me. I was ensuring your safety as well. I wanted to protect you." My body was shaking with remembered agony. It was a hell I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
I couldn't look at her. I knew she'd be horrified. My own people had looked at me with concern and voiced their doubts by questioning my rationality. I remembered days of drowning in liquor and staring at Luna's pictures imagining I was with her, and she was in my arms. Maybe a kid or two as well. She'd be my wife and I lived the life I always dreamt of.
"Why didn't you just come back to me? Why ask Manuel to spy on me?" Her question was expected.
"Because I had no will power. I knew if I ever saw you, I'd give up everything to have you back."
"Would that be so bad?" Her question was followed by a single tear rolling down her cheek. My chest tightened. I lifted my hand to wipe her damp cheeks but couldn't touch her.
"I wasn't going to choose between my own happiness and your safety, Luna. If my enemies knew what you meant to me, they'd hurt you. I couldn't risk that."
"But you did choose. You chose to leave me naked and alone in our bed. You didn't even say a goodbye." The pain in her voice killed me. What I wouldn't give to change what happened to us. Still, she was right. I had made a choice to protect her and if I had to do it again, I would.
"I sent you an email..."
"Not until a week later." A week of devastation and painful memories shoved aside to write an apology for abandoning the one person who meant the most to me. I knew it wasn't enough but that was all I could offer.
I had resigned to the fact a long time ago that Luna would always resent me for what I did. It was a price I was willing to pay for her life. Now some asshole who was after me had gotten wind of her and was attacking me through her.
"I can't change what happened. I can only beg for forgiveness." Even if it took the rest of my life for her to forgive me, I wouldn't stop crawling to her. She was important to me, and I wouldn't hurt her any more than I already had.
Gripping her fingers in mine, I saw the shiver that ran through her body. I felt the same. Every touch was electrifying but that was how it was between us. I hoped she knew that.
Taking the gun out of my holster I placed it on the palm of her hand. Her eyes widened. "Punish me."
"Ares, no!" She pulled her hand away as if it burnt her, but I didn't let go. "You're crazy. What the hell is the matter with you? You can't manipulate me like that."
She saw right through me, and I admit I was playing every tactic in the books to get her back with me. "Either forgive me or else free me from this torment, Luna. I'd prefer the later." My voice was firm and clear.
She slapped me with trembling hands and yet the firmness of the sting left me furiously turned on. Goddamn it, this was not the time for it. But she noticed like she always did and grabbed my cock in her hand through my denims and I instantly hardened. Only Luna could arouse me by raising a hand to me. If it were someone else's hands hitting me, I'd be breaking their bones right now. She had that power.
"Don't you fucking dare say that. You're an asshole. The biggest jerk I've ever seen. God, I'm so mad at you, I want to seriously pull that gun out of your hand and shoot you in the balls. You piece of shit!"
And just like that I knew I had my girl back.
. . .
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