My head was spinning. A voice was humming. The birds were singing. The people were dancing. A fire was burning. A storm was brewing. The world was spinning around. Time slowed down. There he was. The only person whose face that I could see. My heart was beating. My breathes were uneven. Harps were playing. People were dancing with smiles on faceless faces. Half my hair was pulled back. The rest laying on my skin. Down my back. Down my chest. He was smiling. One that could bring light to the dark. The void of darkness was beating. Begging me to come closer. Torn apart from him and the void. A choice had to be made. But how could I choose. I needed both. So, I didn't choose. I let him walk up to me and I took him to the void with me. It accepted. Normally it would decline.
"Nova, look at that waterfall. Isn't it beautiful." Neir said with a smile.
"The water is said to heal." Meria says as she dips her fingers into the waterfall.
"Always with your husband aren't you." Neir said with a laugh.
"You know we like to be close." Aiden replied with a laugh.
I had a smile on my face. But this time it was mine. Confusion consumed me. I realised it was fake. But why am I seeing this. I didn't say anything. Afraid I'd lose this moment of peace. I observed not wanting this to end.
"No, you like to make sure the other is still alive." Neir said as he playfully hit Aiden in the shoulder.
"You two never stop." Meria said with a laugh.
She looked at me and stopped laughing. I think she knew that I was an imposter. Neir looked over at her and then me.
"Meria why are you looking at our daughter like that?" He questioned.
"Because she's going to die." She said in a really deep voice.
She lunged at me, but nothing happened. Everything stopped. It was like time froze.
"You come searching for answers." A male voice said.
That voice was familiar. When I turned around, I saw a man wearing dark clothes with beautiful black wings.
"I'm assuming you're nothing like Abelia." I answer.
"Of course not." The man laughed. "Let me introduce myself. I am Donovin the leader of dark angels. You may know my son Azrael."
"Ah, so you're his father." I said seeing the resemblance.
"Indeed I am. I've heard a lot about you Nova. Azrael holds you in high regard." Donovin says.
"What's happening?" I ask.
"It's a mix of familiarity and the past." Donovin started to say.
He looked at my mother and back at me.
"They are combining." He finished.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"I mean your death date is near. Your past's death date. You will have a feeling of death. But you'll awake." Donovin said shaking his head.
"It wouldn't be the first time." I said more to myself than him.
"No, but this time it's different. He'll think that he killed you. It's like his curse. But you will never actually die again. That's one of your gifts." Donovin said with a small smile. "You were blessed Nova, and he was cursed. The Gods saw your worth. We all see your worth. It's radiating off your skin."
"When the time comes, we'll be one." I said remembering that train of thought.
"You'll be one. But you won't change too much. You'll still be you. But with a bit more violence. The old Nova would be proud of you. She used to tell me so much about you. How she could feel you. That you'll be so much better than what she was then." Donovin said with a pained smile.
"I hear her voice sometimes. I did what she wanted me to do. But I still feel like I'm missing something. I think that something is her. Something clicked the last time I lost control." I said weighing all the information that I had.
"You connected." Donovin said confused.
"I felt like I knew more about myself. But I didn't know about the angel side. That I'm still working through." I answer.
"That shouldn't have happened. You were meant to connect when you 'died'. Not before." Donovin said pacing.
"Maybe our threat is bigger than what it needed to be?" I question.
"Or maybe since you're stronger, you are getting your answers quicker." Donovin said resolved.
"Maybe. I was raised that way. I always needed to find answers to every question I ever had." I sigh.
Donovin gave me a small smile sensing my emotion of unease. He walked up to me and put a hand on my shoulder.
"Why would she attack me?" I ask.
"Because you weren't participating. You figured out it was fake, but you wanted to enjoy that moment. If she attacked you, you'll be taken out of it." Donovin answered.
"Why did my father ask her that question though?" I ask.
"Because she can see death in your eyes my child. The past you had it and the present you has it. She thought she could get rid of it. But she couldn't. She tried to the point where she went to Abelia. She thought that the leader of the light angels could expel the dark within you." Donovin replied.
"But it's a part of me." I say confused.
"It is. But the dark overlaps the light. You're more like your father in both versions. But this one you are more." Donovin answered.
"I felt more of a connection to him. I still feel the connection." I said with conviction.
"And you would. He never let you down. He tried to help you with the dark. But this you will accept his help." Donovin said.
"Where is he?" I question.
"I can't tell you. But he waits at the table of dark. There's an empty chair just for you. Join us when you're ready. For a seat at the table of dark is reserved for you." Donovin said as he walked away.
I close my eyes letting myself be returned. Hoping that the void speaks to me. I knew it would for the words were surrounding me. They surrounded me until everything went black, and I could hear them.
The void of darkness surrounds me. It weaves in and out of my soul. Heal my body. Heal my mind. Make this connection stronger. The void of darkness swallow me. Let me see the answers that I seek. Darkness surrounds me swallows me in. The table of dark has reserved my seat. Enter the dark and take a seat. But only after you die. Let him free his binds and then join us at the table of dark. We wait for you. The empty seat is yours to take. You seek our help. We'll answer. But you must let the darkness swallow you, Nova. I wait for you at the table of dark. Hoping to be reunited with my only daughter.
I open my eyes slowly knowing that I would be back in my room. I turn to face Aiden and see that he is still asleep. I run my fingers through his hair. Admiring him. I run my finger down the side of his face. I then trail it along his jaw. I tap his chin gently before I kiss him on the side of his mouth. I smile to myself seeing that he's still deep asleep. I slowly move the blanket off my body so that I could get up. But I felt a hand wrap around my arm and pull me back into his arms. He made sure that both arms were wrapped around me.
"Where are you going darling?" Aiden questions.
"I was going to go for a walk." I say gently.
"Without me?" Aiden asks.
"I didn't want to wake you up." I said knowing very well that I attempted to wake him up.
I didn't get an answer instead he trailed his hand up and down my arm. I felt my heartbeat quicken at his touch. I took a deep breath and moved so that I was facing him. He opened his eyes and looked straight into my soul. I was finding it harder to control myself. I wanted to kiss him, to touch him but I reframed from doing that. I saw a smile creep onto his face.
"What are you thinking about darling"? Aiden questioned.
"Why does it matter love?" I ask.
Aiden started to trail kisses down my neck, before he pinned me down onto the bed.
"Just curious." He said in between kisses.
He was making it harder for me to breath. His scent and just everything about him was triggering me. He knew this. And he thought it was amusing. He places his hand behind my neck and pulled me up to his face. Smiling as he placed his lips against mine. That's when I lost it. He let go of my hands. I Pulled his face closer to mine with one of my hands whilst the other moved down his chest. I could feel his heartbeat. I was relieved it was going at the same pace as mine. I pushed him off me. And moved so that I was half on top of him. He moved his hand that was in my hair and trailed it down my body. Until it was placed on my waist opposite from his other hand. I couldn't take it any longer and I knew he couldn't either. I felt it in every bit of my body. It was running through my veins like blood. He moved me so that I was back on my back. Never once did we break the kiss. And when he did, I felt them burn with desire.
"Fuck, I need you." Aiden said as he rested his forehead against mine.
I gave him a slow and tender kiss. Knowing that it made him grow with want.
"You know exactly what you're doing to me." He said with his voice low.
He placed a kiss on my neck. His hand went under my shirt. That was in reality his shirt. He left his hand on my waist not moving closer. My body needed him to move his hand upwards. But I knew he wouldn't. But he did tease me when he moved his hand slightly closer. I knew he was amused. I moved my hand down his chest stopping at the band of his pants. Now I was amused by the way his body reacted to mine. He kissed me again with desire. My body felt warmer. Unintentionally I pressed my hips against his. The sudden contact made both of us break the kiss. Aiden looked at me with so much desire in his eyes and I knew that I was giving him the same look.
"Take this off." He said with his voice low and husky.
I removed his shirt from my body and threw it somewhere onto the floor. His eyes travelled down my body and back up to my eyes.
His hand moved down from my waist to my thigh as he wrapped it against his waist. After he did that, he lent down and kissed me again. The contact was driving me insane. The skin contact that we had didn't feel like it was enough. It didn't even feel enough when both of our clothes were on the ground. Our bodies moved in sync and reacted like it already knew every curve. Our body heat combined. As one. Sweat dripped down our bodies. I felt complete. Like our souls had intertwined.
When I woke up again, I was still dripping in sweat. Our bodies radiating so much warmth. A feeling that I loved. I turned over in Aiden's arms to face him. I wrapped my arms around his back. Letting my head rest on his chest where I could hear his heartbeat. Somewhere along the lines of night or early morning I fell asleep again.
"Aiden." I whispered as I stirred awake again.
"Mm?" Aiden asked.
"What time is it?" I ask as I try to bury my head deeper into his chest.
"Six o'clock." Aiden replied running his fingers through my hair.
"I need another hour or two." I said sleepily.
Aiden laughed. I felt the vibrations from his laugh and my body seemly became calmer than what I was already.
"Honestly, I could stay here all-day darling. Like this." Aiden said as he kissed my forehead.
"Mm." I replied enjoying his warmth.
"I wish we didn't have to get out of bed." Aiden said.
"Me too." I replied.
Everything went silent. All I could hear was one heartbeat. I could feel his emotions running through my veins. Our heartbeats were one. I knew it was probably best to get out of bed and dressed. But that wasn't what my body wanted. It wanted to stay in his arms. Like this.
"One more hour." Aiden said resolved.
He held me closer to him. Tightening his hold on me. He rested his chin on top of my head. His body pressed against mine. Our warmth seemingly combined again. But this time different than the time before.
"I feel whole." I said with a sigh.
"So do I." Aiden replied.
He kissed my forehead again before he rested his against mine.
"I love you, my Nova." Aiden said with a mischievous smile.
"I love you too Aiden." I said sleepily.
I closed my eyes and I felt like I was being rocked by waves. But when I opened them, I felt nothing. I looked directly into Aiden's eyes. The love I had for him couldn't compare to anything else. I felt him in my veins. My heart could explode from his love. It fills the darkness in my soul. The darkness in my heart. The one that is now my own. We were both free. His heart next to mine. All we had to do now is free our souls.
"Aiden." I said getting lost in his brown eyes.
"Nova." He replied running his hand through my brown hair.
"Do you think we'll meet my parents before or after Zagen?" I ask genuinely curious.
"Probably after." He answers. "It'll make sense if it happened that way."
"I have a seat at the table of dark." I said remembering the words. "It waits for me to take my place."
"But only after you help me." Aiden said kissing me slowly.
"Only after I know you're safe." I said kissing him again.
"Only after your soul and mine are joined." Aiden said laughing.
I loved his laugh. I smiled at him. Loving the way his smile came after his laugh. The way a certain stand of his hair sits on his face. I brush that stand into place. I look deep into his eyes. Knowing that I was home. I kiss his forehead. His temple. His cheek. The side of his mouth. Until he claims my lips with his. I kissed him with nothing but passion and my love for him. My body needing to be closer to his. Even though there was no possible way to get closer. It wasn't until I was on my back with him hovering over me that I knew we had to get up. That we couldn't get closer. I knew he knew it too. He can feel what I can. And I can feel what he can.
"I hate this." Aiden sighed. "Every damn time."
Aiden kissed my forehead before he got out of bed. He passed me my clothes. But I grabbed his hand and lead him into the bathroom. We might not be able to do anything but at least we could still spend time together. Under the warmth of shower. I let the droplets hit my skin. Rejuvenating my soul. Aiden wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. He kissed my shoulder gently. I looked at him and smiled.
Blood can easily be washed off. But pain. Pain likes to stick around. Even when you scrub so hard that blood starts coming out of your pores. Blood can easily be washed away. But the scars stay. Whether deep in your skin or on the outside. Blood can easily be washed away. Sometimes the blood lingers. Sometimes it stops. But at the end of the day blood can easily be washed away. You can scrub the scars so hard, but it'll only bleed. The blood will go down the drain. But not with the pain. For the pain, the scars, they can't be washed away.
I sigh as the thoughts come in. Alone but never truly alone. I felt his heartbeat in my ear. Calming my mind. I pace around my room wondering when he'll return. I look over at my bed. And the memories come crashing in. I needed to stop myself. But once it starts, it never ends. Death in my eyes. Old as time. My father waits for me at the table of dark. My seat is reserved. The void of dark calls out to me. But only I decide whether to answer. It's giving me answers. The future that I want. But I can't help but think about how my own mother tried to get rid of my dark. The past me loved her. Trusted her. Admired her. Had a connection to her. And she betrayed us. She didn't deserve to die. But she still betrayed us.
"What are you thinking about?" Azrael asked when he walked through the door.
I turn to face him. Wishing that Aiden was with him. That he would return to me.
"A lot, but nothing at the same time" I said with a sigh.
"What's bothering you?" Azrael asked as he took a seat at the small table in my room.
"Where's Aiden?" I ask needing to know.
"Nick wanted to talk to him." Azrael answered.
I nod my head. Now I knew what was taking him so long.
"I met your father." I said answering his question.
"He is bothering you?" Azrael asked concerned.
"No, he's not. But he's left me with a lot to think about." I answer as I walk towards the table and sit across from him.
"Well, no secrets, so tell me." Azrael said.
"He told me that my mother went to Abelia to get rid of the darkness in my eyes." I said with a sigh.
"Shit, well that sucks majorly. Why would she go to Abelia?" He asked confused.
"Because she's a light angel. Maybe she felt that her leader could help me. When in reality I didn't need help at all." I said trying to answer my own question about it.
"Even so, why did she think it was a problem. She married a dark angel. What did she expect?" Azrael asked rhetorically.
"I have no idea Azrael. All I know is that the table of dark has reserved my seat. The void has answers for me." I said wishing I knew the answer.
"The void of darkness has claimed your soul." Azrael said.
"What?" I asked confused.
"You should have told me when this first happened. This wasn't meant to happen yet." Azrael said concerned.
"I didn't know you when it started." I answer.
"When did it start?" Azrael asked.
"At the party when I lost control for the last time." I answered.
Azrael's expression was unreadable.
"I thought you knew?" I asked. "When you told me that my soul wasn't trapped."
"It blanked on me when I was reading your mind. I didn't think much of it. Clearly the void didn't want me to know that it had your soul." Azrael said surprised.
"Why wouldn't it?" I asked.
"Did my father know?" Azrael questioned.
"No, he didn't, not until I told him." I answered.
"The void clearly has chosen you. Especially since it's reserved your seat at the table." Azrael said shaking his head.
"What does this mean?" I ask.
"It means that it's chosen you." Azrael said running his hand through his hair.
"Should I be worried?" I ask unsure on how to feel.
"No, I mean it makes sense that it's you." Azrael said with a small smile.
"Azrael, I need more than that. Please." I plead.
"You're the chosen one Nova. The gap between light and dark. The void chose you to fulfil its place. You technically are the void of darkness. It's just a place now for it has a person. When you take your seat at the table it will give you it's power. You will be as strong as my father and Abelia. We will have the winning advantage." Azrael explained.
"I guess it makes sense." I say as I run my hand through my hair.
I only do that when I'm frustrated or confused. Why me. I guess those answers are hanging in the void of darkness. They will come with answers.
"I know Abelia tortured you Azrael." I say treading carefully.
"I'm not surprised." Azrael said not wanting to talk about this.
"No secrets remember." I said repeating what he said to me.
Azrael sighed. I knew this pained him. But I wanted to ease his stress. Take his pain away.
"No secrets." Azrael repeated.
"I know how much it would mean to you if you killed her." I say choosing my words carefully.
"It would mean everything to me. But I can't kill her. I've tried. I'm not my father. I can only kill her if he dies. But I would do anything to torture her for what she did to me." Azrael said with pain to his words.
"Then we'll torture her. But we won't sink down to her level. But we won't give her mercy. She doesn't deserve it. You deserve to have your justice and I deserve to have mine." I say with righteousness.
"We won't let her go down that easily." Azrael said with a smile. "I know what would hurt her more than anything."
"Losing her power." I say finishing his sentence.
"Not what I had in mind." Azrael answered.
"No one else deserves to suffer for her actions. Her loss of power will ultimately destroy her." I said irrefutable.
"How are you so sure?" Azrael asked.
"Because Azrael." I say leaning over the table and placing my hands on his shoulders. "Those who seek destruction use fear to gain their power. Once they have that power over you or anyone, they'll use it to their advantage. But if they don't have that power, they lose everything. They can't hurt anyone. Take away the fear and their power will diminish."
"Take Abelia's power away from her light angels. You know it makes sense that she uses fear." Azrael said.
"It does. They are afraid that if they don't act a certain way that she'll kill them. Help them see through her lies." I say directing him.
"They won't listen to a dark angel." Azrael said.
"They will see your father's leadership, or your leadership be completely different to hers. You earn your people's respect. You earn their loyalty. Abelia demands their respect and loyalty. And if they don't give it. There will be consequences." I said trying to get him to see my view.
"She tortured me Nova, took everything away from me. She had me chained against their light wall. Trying to drain all of my light out of me. But I gave it to you before. But it proved her point that dark angels can't have light within them. She took all that I had left. She tried to manipulate me into giving myself up for your life. But I knew you wouldn't have wanted me to do that. I tried to stay strong. But the pain was getting too much to bear. But then you saved me. I was covered in so much blood. I had gashes that ran so deep it touched my bones. But you didn't see the blood. The scars. You saw me for who I was. You never told me I was weak. If anything, you built me back up. Took all the pieces and glued them back into place. Like they were never destroyed." Azrael confessed. "You were the only person who kept me going. You were my other half after all. When you died...I lost that. I lost our connection. That feeling. I felt hopeless. Alone. I felt all the pieces come apart again."
I could see the pain in his expression. The tears fall from his eyes. I walked over to him and hugged him. Hoping that I could ease his pain. But pain can't be washed away.
"I'm here now. And I will never leave you again." I promised him. "You won't have to endure any more pain. I won't let it happen."
"You being here helps me. Nova, you've helped me in ways that I don't think I'll ever be able to repay." Azrael says.
"Azrael, if I truly helped you, you would never have to repay the favour. When I help you, you owe nothing. All I want is for you to be okay." I said trying to comfort him.
"You make me a better person Nova. The only person that I have met that brought the light out of me." Azrael said with a small smile.
"That's not true Azrael." I answer with a mischievous smile.
Azrael raised an eyebrow and looked at me curiously.
"You have Asra." I answer.
"Asra and I never got to be anything." Azrael said with a sigh.
"That doesn't mean anything. Azrael she still brought out the best in you. Don't miss the chance in this life to be with her. I know she feels the same way about you. I also know that your feelings for the other have never changed." I say letting him go.
"You are always so sure." Azrael said with a smile. "It's like a gift you have in this life."
"That's because it is." I say with a small smile.
Azrael sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. I took a moment to study him. Seeing that he looked stressed.
"We probably should be heading to the hall now." I said breaking the silence.
Azrael nodded before he got up. As we were walking to the hall. It felt calm. For the first time in a while there was nothing serious going on. It felt peaceful to a degree. And I thought about Aiden and I's future. I don't want to live here. I stopped in my tracks.
"What's going on?" Azrael asked concerned.
"I don't know." I answer truthfully.
"Nova you're acting strange. What is it?" Azrael questioned.
As he grabbed my shoulders the world went black. My body just shut down. I couldn't move but I could feel. I could hear. I had felt Azrael catch me and place me gently on the ground.
"Someone help!" Azrael yelled out.
I heard footsteps running over to me.
"Nova!" Jason exclaimed.
He touched me shoulder as shook me gently.
"What's going on?" Jason asked Azrael.
"I don't know. She just fell. Blacked out." Azrael said talking quickly.
"Go get me Nick and Aiden." Jason ordered to someone.
"Nova, wake up." Azrael pleaded.
I needed Aiden. Right here. Right now. Where are you Aiden? As I was pondering, I felt someone pick me up. Who it was, I didn't recognise. I didn't know.
"We need to get her to Aiden quickly." The voice said.
It was only after he talked that I knew who it was.