"Ciao, tesoro. How are you doing?" Gabriella says.
"Ciao, Gabri. How are you?" Carina says with a bright smile.
"Nuh-uh. That smile is not good." Gabriella notices the bright smile of Carina's is her pretending-everything-is-good smile.
"Share your life with me, Gabri. Yous is much interesting than mine." Carina whines, "I wanna know how's thing between you and the sexy trauma surgeon going? Are you moving into with her?"
"No, cause her family was in an accident. Our plan to live together is on hold until her family is full-recovered."
Gabriella says and raises an eyebrow, "And now it's your turn. What's with the deflection, tesoro? Maya gets worse in bed?"
"No, sex is still good, but it's more like just sex." Carina rolls her eyes and leans against the headboard, breathing out.
"I don't know if it's because of me, Maya used to be more affectionate during sex. And now, I can't feel her affectionate but just releasing our desire."
"What do you mean you don't know if it's because of you?" Gabriella asks.
"When we made our deal of hooking up, we're kind of in a good place and she loves me. I can feel it's more than just sex for her. And I enjoyed it, Gabri. I love that she focus on what I need. But since she's running for captain, she's been going to work earlier and coming home a bit later, saying she wants to prepare for the day, improve her paperwork, and make sure everything's in order."
Carina sighs,
"When she talked about her day, her smile is less, replaced by more complain, blaming someone give the wrong call and which order is not the best option at that moment. The only thing remained constant is her care and love for the baby and me. She's always smiling when we talked about baby or asking about my day. She bought me a massage cream and gives me foot rubs every night, you know."
"But you're not happy with her when her mind is in work space." Gabriella says.
"Yes... I can't feel my adore for her and then sex is just sex." Carina breathes out.
"Even though just a moment ago I was amazed by her affection for the baby, feeling the desire to make her squirm under me, the next moment I found myself pulling away from her when she started talking about work."
"Well, her boss should be making a decision about the captain position soon. Just hang in there, girl." Gabri sighs, "If your sexy firefighter can't handle not being promoted, I'm only one phone call away."
"Thanks, Gabri." Carina takes a deep breath and switches to gossip mode, says cheerfully "Now, tell me the flower you got from your ex."
---
"I can't believe you don't have a dress for the ball. You've know about this for months." Maya sighs when Carina walks out of the closet with a plain one piece dress.
"Hey, I didn't know all of my dress is too fit to put on." Carina gives the blonde a knowing look, "Thanks to your baby girl."
"Don't say that! It's not her fault!" Maya turns and places her hands on Carina's belly, exclaiming "It's not your fault, either. I just...don't want to be late."
"Can we go home after Warren's awards ceremony?" Carina sighs and frowns slightly.
"I'm not in the mood of dancing or socializing. I just want to show my support for him. Besides, they're leaving as soon as the ceremony is over to catch their flight to the Catherine Fox Awards."
"Yes, we can. We won't stay long." Maya says gently with a smile.
"Thank you." Carina says and turns to search for a proper dress for the ball.
Maya notices a piece of clothing in the corner, wrapped in a dust cover. She unzips it and her eyes lighten up. "It's your wedding outfit."
Carina glances at it and shakes her head, "That one is tailored. There's no way I can fit my 18-week pregnant belly into it now."
Maya zips it up with a little pout, "I love that outfit. It looks amazing on you."
The frustrated Italian sighs and gets impatiently, "I'm just put on one of my work outfit and a coat. We'll leave soon. No need to put on a formal evening gown." she says and starts changing.
"Seeing that wedding outfit of yours brought back a lot of memories." Maya whispers while watching Carina putting on clothes.
"I remember how excited and nervous I was. I forgot to write vows and you found it amusing cause I planned almost everything on the clipboards." Maya lets out a soft chuckle, "I was panic that I only said my love for you and I choose you forever."
Carina puts on her coat and says nonchalantly, "But then you chose the captaincy over me."
"What?!" Maya exclaims innocently, "I didn't."
"You told me that you just want your job back when I was at the hospital. You threaten chief Ross to get your captaincy back." Carina says and slides her phone into the pocket and puts on the heels. "Come on. We're late already."
Maya is speechless cause Carina is not wrong. She did blackmail Ross.
But I'm not not choosing Carina. I'm been taking care of her after accident.
Yeah...I did avoid her after that night at the rooftop, but that was because she kept pushing me. That's not not choosing her.
The couple stayed silent on the way to the ball, having a lot of thought in their own minds.
When they arrived at the ball, they witnessed Vic telling everyone that Andy's the new captain and Ruiz walks away in frustration.
Shit...the new captain has been announced.
Carina can't help but worry about Maya. She holds Maya's hands and whispers softly, "Are you OK?"
Maya doesn't say anything but takes a deep breath in and out.
Carina knows that Maya doesn't want to make a scene at the ball. However, she can feels the disappointment, sadness, anger, and frustration radiate from the blonde.
"Come on. Let's get a drink first." Carina says and lightly pulls Maya to the bar outside.
"Do you want to talk about it?" the Italian whispers after coming back to the table with two glass of water.
"To talk about how disappointed I am?"
The blonde lets out a huff and says disdainfully, "Chief Ross must be holding a grudge against me, so she chose Andy over me. My performance isn't worse than Andy's."
Carina strokes the blonde's back to comfort her. "Chief Ross not choosing you doesn't mean that your dedication and hard work go unnoticed. I saw it, your team saw it, and the people you saved from the scene definitely saw it."
"You still get to do what you love. You get to help people, save cute puppies, carry people out from a burning building." Carina wraps her arms around the blonde's shoulders as she speaking, leaning against on it. "You're a hero, and you don't need to be a captain to be a hero."
Carina's words effectively lifts Maya's spirits and lessened her frustration.
"At least Andy is the one who becomes the captain. She's better than Ruiz and Sullivan." the blonde firefighter breathes out heavily.
"Do you want to go inside? Or stay here a little longer?" Carina asks softly.
"Let's go inside." the blonde says and takes Carina's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze with small smile.
She's here. She's back.
We might still be good after this.
Carina is happy and hopeful cause Maya's reaction is not as bad as she thought. She doesn't know if Maya really accepts Andy being promoted, but right here and now she feels the woman she likes is back.
And maybe she could opens her heart eventually.
The couple find their table and congrats Warren to be awarded. And they're dragged to the dance floor by Vic.
"Come on! Let's have some fun!" Vic says and drags their hands, "It's our party!"
Maya looks at Carina who nods with a helpless smile, "We can use some fun."
Just before they're stepping into the dance floor, Jack stops them. "Carina, we need your help."
"OK. Nanette takes a deep breath in and slowly breathes out. Can you do that for me?" Carina asks.
"I'll go get an ambulance." Vic says.
"Squeeze my hand when you feel contraction, OK? Keep breathing." Carina says gently and turns to Maya, "Take your phone and time for her contraction."
Maya nods and follows Carina's order.
"13 minutes." Maya whispers after Carina's hand being squeezed by the waitress.
"Aid car's ETA is 3 minutes." Vic walks to them and whispers.
Carina says in soft tone to comforts Nanette, "We're going to get you to Grey-Sloan. I'll ask my colleague to wait for us. Don't worry."
Nanette nods while sobbing and breathing heavily.
"OK. We should go now. I'll call Jo." Carina whispers to Jack and Maya. They nod and help the waitress standing up from the chair.
"My bag is in the kitchen. I want to call my mom." Nanette says and Maya nods. "I'll go get it."
"Let's go." Jack whispers to the waitress and walks to the entrance while Carina follows behind.
And the next moment, the floor collapsed. A lot of people fallen.
Maya quickly walks back to find Carina, Jack, and Nanette, only catching a glimpse of the Italian standing on the edge of the floor.
She rushes to her, but people are all panicked and walk backwards without paying any attention.
Carina is pushed and loses her balance, knocking her head backward and falling to the ground.
"Carina!!"
Maya screams and kneels between Carina and the others, shielding Carina and checking her injuries.
"Maya..." Carina whispers and then passes out, losing consciousness.
Maya picks up Carina and rushes outside. Just then, Andy and Vic burst in with other firefighters.
"Carina hit her head and lost conscious. I'm taking an aid car!" Maya says anxiously. "I didn't see Jack and the waitress. I don't know where they are."
Vic nods, "Go! We got this." and Andy starts giving orders to the people who are safe to help. "We need to find a safe access point! Setting up triage! 46's squad is outside. Grab tools, med gears and starts rescuing!"
When people are busy at rescuing the others, Maya takes Carina to an aid car and calls Amelia immediately.
"Amelia! it's Carina. She hit her head and lost conscious. We're 5 minutes away. And get Jo for me. I don't know if she hit her belly."
-----
The regular beeping sound from the machine is never helping to calm the blonde firefighter's down.
Even though the noise means the woman she loves still alive.
But she's been visiting the hospital a lot recently.
She's been pacing at Carina's office while waiting for Amelia and Jo examining Carina's injure. Her head is already screaming and replaying the moment Carina fell backwards.
Her belly didn't bumped, right?
She fell backwards slowly. Her head should be fine and maybe a minor concussion?
What if there's bleeding in her brain? Did she hit her head hard?
I shouldn't had left her alone. I should have ran to her faster.
If I had run a little faster, I could have caught her.
All the assumptions and guesses swirling in her mind finally faded as Maya breathes a sigh of relief after Amelia and Jo telling her that Carina and the baby are both OK.
And now, she's sitting in a chair, holding Carina's hand and waits for her wife to wake up.
"Mmmm..." A low humming sound startles the blonde firefighter.
Maya quickly stands up and places her hand on Carina's cheek stroking it with her thumb.
"Hey..." she says in a raspy voice.
"Maya?" Carina opens her eyes and blinks couple times to wake herself up a bit.
"Hi." the blonde firefighter breaks out a smile, whispering to the Italian.
"My head..." Carina sits up and rubs her head, "Where are... Why are we at Grey-Sloan?"
"You hit your head at the ball." Maya helps Carina sitting up and sits at the edge of bed holding her shoulder.
Carina pauses for a second and sighs, "...Right. We were at the..."
"Where's the pregnant waitress? Did she get to Grey-Sloan and give birth? How is she?" Carina places her hand on Maya's thigh and asks.
"I don't know. I didn't see her and Jack. I only heard a huge sound and the floor collapsed. I saw you was pushed and hit your head, falling on the ground. I took you to the aid car right away. I didn't pay attention to them." Maya says softly. "Is your head hurt? Do you need me to call Amelia?"
"Yes, please." Carina makes a face while rubbing the back of her head, "And find out if Jack and the waitress are safe, will you?"
"Yes, of course." Maya replies gently and calls Amelia right away.
"It's been a while seeing you putting on your class A's. I didn't get to see the whole suit last time." Carina whispers, leaning against the pillow.
"Yeah, captain Herrera is..." Maya paused halfway through her sentence, her mind drifting to other question, "I didn't put on my class A's after your accident. How did you see me wearing that suit?"
"What are you talking about? You put that on at Andy's dad's funeral. You called me afterwards." Carina says with confused look.
"You got your memory back?" the blonde firefighter exclaims, extremely surprised that Carina got her memory back.
"Carina, you got your memory back!" Maya wraps her arms around the Italian and hugs her tightly, "Finally! You remember everything!"
Carina gives her thrilled wife a loose hug and asks, "What do you mean I got my memory back? And you mentioned that I had an accident?"
"You don't remember that you lost your memory? But you remember that pregnant waitress..." Maya pulls away from the hug and says. "Let's ask Amelia about your head. At least I'm sure that you remember me and our love story."
"O...Kay." the Italian is still puzzled by what Maya said, but she feels like her memory is a bit blurry.
She puts her hand on her belly and strokes it, surprised at the growth of it.
"We're having a daughter, right?" she turns to look at Maya and asks in hopeful voice.
"Yes." Maya whispers and looks back at Carina's eyes with love and affectionate. She places her hand on Carina's. "We're pregnant. 18 weeks."
"Hi, sorry. There's a lot of patients coming from the ball." Amelia opens the door and says quickly, "How are you feeling, Carina?"
Maya puts down her hand and stands up to give Amelia some space to examine Carina.
"Sore and hurt. The back of my head." the Italian makes a face. And the neuro steps closer to check.
"Amelia, Carina got her memory back. She remember some things from the past, but she's not sure what happened recently. After her accident, I mean." Maya explains, "She remembered that we're pregnant and she was helping a pregnant waitress."
"That's great, Carina!" Amelia says, "It seems like you're getting your memory back, but it might takes a while, probably hours or couple days, and then you remember all of it."
"OK." Carina nods, "Thank you, Amelia."
"Although your memory is coming back gradually..." Amelia continues, "but I want to keep you here tonight and discharge you tomorrow just in case. I'll come check in with you tomorrow morning."
"Yeah." Carina nods. "Thank you, Amelia." Maya says.
After Amelia leaves, Maya sits back on the edge of Carina's bed, holding her hand. "Can I get you anything?"
"No. I'm just..." the Italian rubs her forehead and lies back on the bed, closing her eyes with a sigh, "A lot in my head." She sees a scene after scene playing in her head. She knows that's her memory recently cause one of them is Maya was putting on her class A's.
"Take a rest. I'll go get you some water and blanket." the blonde firefighter says softly and presses a kiss on Carina's forehead before leaving.
The Italian lies in bed. She keeps seeing one scene after another in her head even when her eyes are closed.
Her voice...Maya's voice...echoing in her ears.
Maya stood at the door, awkwardly said hi to her. They sat on the couch, asking if she wants to divorce, asking for joint custody, asking for start over for the baby.
She, herself, talked to Gabri, telling her that Maya being honest with her. She listened to her.
Maya asked for the baby's ultrasound picture, excited to hear baby's heartbeat, being goofy and energetic talking about baby's stuff.
...And Maya beg me not to control her to seek for help.
I left... I left Maya alone at 19's parking lot.
Maya's texts... She tried meditation for me?!
She ran for 10 blocks to Grey-Sloan to check in with me... Her ankle...
Yeah...of course I was mad at her ignoring her well-being.
She stopped when I said we're not stable... She listened and respected me...
Captain again...She wanted her captaincy...
Her face... She was in competing mode and being a cold bitch again. I hate it. That's not the woman I married.
The woman I married... She said she chose me forever... Our wedding...
I've never wanted a wedding and marriage, but I'm so in love with her, my Maya.
Carina couldn't help but sobbing as she thought about how much she loved her wife, feeling overwhelmed by the mix of familiarity and strangeness in the person she loved.
And that's what Maya sees when she enters the room with water, Carina's Italian chocolate bars, and blanket.
"Hey. Hey." Maya quickly puts down everything and sits on the edge of the bed, softly asking "Carina, what's going on? Why are you crying?"
The Italian shakes her head and keeps sobbing. She can't talk right now.
"Is your head hurt?" Maya asks and holds Carina's cheeks with both hands, "Should I get Amelia to check with your injure?"
"...No." Carina struggles to mumbles an answer between sobbing.
"Not your head? Do you feel any pain anywhere?" the blonde firefighter asks.
It's her heart. She's heart-broken.
Carina can't say the real answer. She just shakes her head and letting her tears falling down.
"OK." Maya confirms that Carina's physically well, so she lies on the bed and holds Carina, wrapping her arms around her, "Shh...Shh..."
"I'm here. I'm here with you." Maya whispers gently and presses a kiss on Carina's forehead. "I got you, love. I'm here."
And the way Maya calling her love. It breaks Carina's heart into million pieces cause she knows that she needs to take a gamble with their relationship.
If she wins, she'll get the woman she married back and they're all win. If not, she lost the love of her life and they all lost this game.
Maya may never hold her like this again.
Carina grabs Maya's clothes tightly and buries herself into the warm hug of the blonde's.
Maya, on the other hand, lets out a soft chuckle, "I'm here. You can tell me everything, Carina. I got you." She has no idea the struggle in Carina's mind and only focus at this moment that Carina's being clingy with her.
After about an hour, Carina cried herself to sleep, exhausted.
Maya gently strokes her wife's hair and kisses on her forehead, "I love you. Sleep tight."
After being discharged by Amelia, the wives went home. They didn't talk much on the way home.
Carina seemed in a mood, not up to talk. And Maya just assumed that she's still processing her amnesia and Nanette's death.
Until they're home, stepping into the living room. The Italian stands in the middle of the entrance, taking a deep breath, hesitating to speak up.
The blonde is putting down their breakfast take-out and takes out the plate. "Breakfast is ready."
Carina gulps and her voice is so light and uncertain. "Maya?"
"Hmm?" Maya tilts her head up and looks at her Italian.
"I want to continue our arrangement, sleeping in separate rooms."