L POV
Ryuuen: "Well well, you do remember her after all, monster, kukuku."
Manabu: (Finally. The good part.)
Everyone: "Continue already!"
L: "Yeah yeah wait a bit god damn it."
Dearest, Suzune
I hope this letter finds you well. It has been a while, and I apologize for not responding to you sooner. It might be a little late, considering it's been 3 years since we last spoke. And in those same 3 years you've written and sent me a letter weekly. But now I can finally make it up to you, so allow me to respond to your most important questions in this letter.
I'm doing well. My cooking has actually improved quite a bit, I could likely compete with you now. And what is that about me being dull? Still mean as ever, aren't you. But perhaps it would be much stranger if you were more considerate with yours words since that is not the Horikita I'm familiar with. Anyway, regarding my birthday, please don't worry about never greeting me. At the time I didn't really think of the event as anything important to celebrate personally, so it doesn't bother me at all. And my dream occupation? Well, I'm still thinking of it to be honest. I don't know what I want in all honesty. And on that note, I can already feel your face scrunching in disappointment for such an underwhelming answer but then again you would have expected that from me, wouldn't you?
Thank you for sharing the news to me about Airi. I'm quite glad she's doing alright. I'm not sure if I'm ready to visit her yet though, it might be awkward, so that might be put on hold for now. And hey, you're getting along with Kushida even outside of school? That's... quite unexpected. According to all your letters that you mentioned her, it's a close relationship compared to before. I'm happy for you. And the news about your brother is wonderful, him being CEO was not a suprise, but it was about time he and Tachibana-senpai got together-- or is it technically going to be ' Horikita Akane ' - senpai now? Nonetheless, send him my good wishes for their future.
There's a lot more I wish to say, but I'll continue to tell you in other upcoming letters. And maybe I don't have the right to ask anything of you, especially after what happened back then, and right now ( where I've kept you waiting for so long ) but....
Suzune, please don't let this be your last letter.
Sincerely,
Kiyotaka
Girls: "SO CUTE!!!!!"
Tsukishiro: (How out of character.)
Hosen: "Hah, who knew the beast had that kind of side."
Kiyo: "It's not me, Hosen."
Kei: (N-no way! the Kiyotaka over there put that much effort?!)
Nanase: "Aww, he don't want it to be her last letter, how cutee"
Haruka: "That side of you is clearly better than the colder one, Kiyopon. Not gonna lie."
Suzune: "Oh, you're longing for a letter from me? how interesting, Ayanokoji kun."
Kiyo: "In your dreams."
Nagumo: "Don't worry, Ayanokoji. Eventually it will happen here as well."
Kei: "NO!"
Manabu: "We never know, Karuizawa."
Kei: "Not you too!"
Koenji: "fukufuku, it seems pikachu girl is afraid that her boyfriend will get stolen by Horikita girl."
Suzune: "Stop that, Koenji kun. I'm not stealing anyone's boyfriend."
Yeah sure. Y2V11 would like to prove otherwise tho.
It can't be.
It couldn't be.
Really, it shouldn't be, but-- As Suzune subconsciously traces her index through each paragraph, each word, she knew. This was his handwriting. Pristine, simplistic, yet masterful. She can still faintly recall his throwaway comment of being good at calligraphy back then, and this shows. She pursed her lips, brows furrowed, along with feelings that wandered in between happiness and uncertainty.
..........
Two days after she received the letter, Suzune meets up with Kikyo at the cafe.
" Huh, he actually responded?" Kikyo asked, the suprise evident on her face.
" Yes. It's unexpected, isn't it?" Suzune said.
" Truthfully, I thought he died or something. But paint me suprised."
Random: "Well he did dissapear just like what Horikita san said in her letters."
Random 2: "Why did he come back tho? I mean, it's all so sudden?"
Kiyo: (Judging by the time gap, it's probably that I finished my training in white room. Or I run away. Or I destroyed the white room. Well, anything's possible but let's just wait for further information.)
Ryuuen: "Kukuku, that response is so Kikyo-like."
Ike: "The hell are you saying Ryuuen!"
Hondo: "Kikyo chan will never say something like that!"
Simps: "Yeah!!!"
Arisu: "How simple minded."
Katsuragi: "I can't believe these guys actually trusts a person so easily."
That unnecessary comment irked Suzune much more than she'd ever admit. Kikyo then asked if she could read the letter itself, and Suzune gives her permission, albeit not without adding a small threat that if she were to crumple even the littlest of corners-- she'll have her scalp ripped off from her head straight. Kikyo rolls her eyes at the threat, but still gingerly opening the letter, not willing to test Suzune's wrath. Some things stay the same, she supposes.
Koenji: "My my how cute, Horikita girl. You loved a letter from him that much?"
Suzune: "Shut up!!!"
Hosen: "Your reaction says otherwise, Horikita."
Amasawa: "You're getting easy to read, Horikita paisen~~~"
Ibuki: "Hah! simp!"
Everyone laughed at Suzune while Manabu smirks at the development.
" Ha! He's totally whipped! " Kikyo says after reading the whole thing. That earned a raised brow from her friend.
" He's what?" She asked. Kikyo snorts in amusement, shaking her head. " You don't know what that means? He's whipped for you. Like... he's ' charmed ', ' captivated ', ' infatuated ', with you--" As Kikyo continued to spur out each synonym with exaggerated gestures of her hands, Suzune's frown deepens.
Manabu: "Never knew you're that dense, Suzune."
Suzune: "I'm not that stupid, nii san."
Fuka: "Look who's talking, senpai."
Akane: "I agree with Kiryuin san, Horikita kun."
Manabu: "What are you guys even talking about?"
Kiyo: (And they call me the dense one. Poor Tachibana senpai.)
" I'm not an idiot, Kikyo." Her tone was unimpressed. " I know what that means. I meant to ask why you would imply that he'd be feeling such a thing for me, when him and I haven't spoken in years." It didn't make sense, Kikyo was already assuming too much. Ayanokoji was already a confusing individual at base, adding feelings into the equation will only complicate him further. It goes against Suzune's intention with speaking to Kikyo about this in the first place-- which is to gain her opinion on what to do with this letter.
Suzune: "See?"
Manabu: "Good then."
Mashima: (Kushida's action does make some sense. Ayanokoji is being weird right now.)
Papayanagi: (I guess if he fell in love he will indeed become a confusing person.)
" Well..." Kikyo finally seems to be in thought, actually taking in her words seriously now. " I mean, it makes sense to me he must hold something dear for you. Like you do for him." Immediately, Suzune cuts in. " Like I do for him? What do you mean--" Kikyo cuts back in, leaning chin to palm as she smirks and says, " You're gonna sit there and tell me that you don't hold something dear for him after writing a letter you never knew could even reach him for 3 whole years? "
Girls: "SHE'S IN LOVE!!!!"
Suzune: (Internal screaming)
Immediately, the raven haired girl was put to silence by that. She couldn't think of an excuse as the moment, and so Kikyo takes this as her chance to continue. " Look at this interesting bit here," she directs her attention to the last text. " ' Please don't let this be your last letter. ' How romantic~"
Girls: "AND HE'S ALSO IN LOVE!"
Kiyo: (I can't even be bothered to stop these guys anymote....)
" But what's more romantic is over here--" She traces her finger to the first text. " ' Dearest, Suzune '. Now I may not be as good as you are in our English classes back in high school, but I know damn well this was intentional." Kikyo immediately sends a pointed glance. " You don't just put a comma after dearest unless it was purposeful, or a mistake."
And they both knew Kiyotaka wasn't the type to make basic mistakes like this. But if Suzune were to really just accept that it wasn't some fluke, then that would mean Kiyotaka held Suzune in a regard above all others. Holding her dear over everyone else in his life.
Girls: "HE IS!"
Ryuuen: "Kukuku, the monster's in love!"
Hirata: "How sweet, Ayanokoji kun."
Honami: (Somehow I'm jealous even tho it's not the same him.)
Kei: (Why am I strangely annoyed....snap out Kei! it's not the real him!)
Snek: "Way to go king!"
Shibata: "You rock!"
Albert: "NOT BAD, BRO."
That didn't sound like the Kiyotaka she knew.
Utomiya: "It is different than the usual him."
~~~~~~~~
In the end, Suzune was sent with home with more questions than answers. It was early in the evening, usually she'd study at this time, but she can't help but sit down at her desk simply staring at Kiyotaka's letter. Kikyo insisted to write a response, but that would mean that once again Suzune breaks her own promise to herself. How many ' last letters ' has she made for the past 3 years, huh? She was certain the previous one was going to be definite-- if not for him actually responding.
She was really ready to just give up.
Hosen: "Yeah yeah sure give up. Everyone says that but in the end they didn't."
Kikyo: "Yeah sure, give up. Sureee."
Suzune: "Shut up Kushida san..."
"...."
Why did he respond?
She didn't expect he'd care about her all that much, even if she knew he'd read all her letters. She never expected he'd bother to make a respond letter, but he did. And he's added these small tidbits that gives her these weird feelings of happiness, relief, and.... ugh. She wants to rationalise around this, maybe the writer of this letter isn't even Kiyotaka but someone else, who found it funny enough to try and mess with her because he/she had the same hand writing as him. That's plausible, isn't it? As plausible as this being Kikyo's entire prank scheme just to tease her. Yes, that is plausible too.
Random: "Isn't it easier to conclude that Ayanokoji loves her?"
Manabu: "Overthinking that much is just like you, Suzune."
Suzune: "If it's him of all people, it's worth overthinking about."
Going in that direction, it's best not to respond at all and fall for such trickery, no?
Yes.
So why is she already drafting another stupid letter then?
Everyone: "Bet."
Kiyo: "How cute, Horikita."
Suzune: "Shut up."
Dear Kiyotaka,
You've read all my letters? I'm suprised. I didn't think it would reach you... and honestly, I was just about to give up on writing. I don't wish to write more than this, so apologies for keeping it short. I'd like to see you be the one writing the long paragraphs this time. You owe me that much, you ghost.
Sincerely,
Suzune.
Random: "Famous last words."
Dearest, Suzune.
A ghost, you say? Well, I suppose that's fair. I sense that a part of you refuses to trust that I am real, is that right? I can't exactly prove that I'm the real Kiyotaka yet, but I'll set that aside for now and focus on slowly trying to respond to your major questions. You can judge if I'm real or not by then.
Perhaps to start off, would be to answer the question of where I've been. The truth is... not something I can entirely reveal to you. No matter how much you prod, the best I can give you are the small vague pieces. So let's just say I already had a place to go to once my three years at Advanced Nurturing High were up, my future path was decided for me, and I was raised to walk towards that. But as a growing teenager at the time, I of course, tried to rebel against that idea. I wanted to make my own decisions. This could answer your question from long ago where you asked the reason I joined the school in the first place; It was to run away from the future set for me.
Advanced Nurturing High offered the freedom I desired, even if it was only for a short three years. Admittedly, things didn't go to plan as smooth as I initially thought it would-- after all, I met a certain ambitious girl who was out to reach the top where her older brother watched from with scrutiny. A couple of coincidences later, and I was forced into a work relationship with such a person, and she was quite mean and mincing with her words. Like a slave-master dynamic. Till this day, I am still traumatized.
[ Suzune felt both irritated and amused reading this paragraph ]
Being forced into revealing my abilities slowly throughout the years was never in the playbook. And I was truly adamant on showing off as little as possible, but overtime, even I begin to realize that I was slowly getting out of that mindset. Slowly, even I began to develop different ambitions. That's why... I did what I did in the final year. Do you remember that? You looked so angry at the time it was almost funny ( maybe I shouldn't be saying this lest you manifest right behind me or something and then hit me with your water bottle hand..... orrr maybe I shouldn't have reminded you of that either. )
[ I'm going to kill you, Kiyotaka. She thinks. ]
And in spite of my original plan in the school not going so swell, I still made friends in the end. A lot of enemies too. And you were always there somewhere in between the two. I never quite knew where to place you, and if I may confess, I'd perhaps pulled a couple of strings behind the scenes to prevent any possibility of you being expelled. Sometimes without any justifiable reason as to doing so. Only because I wanted to. Not because I was saving you for what was bound to happen in the final year.... but because I wanted to keep you around, selfishly. Maybe the feeling is similar to what you have felt for me? Maybe it is love.
Even if it isn't, I'd certainly like it to be.
I know this doesn't answer the question of where I've been. But the past never really mattered much to me. Nor did the future. It was always the present, because that was the only moment I could move and do as I pleased.
But if you were to ask me where I'd like to have been? Perhaps the place at your side again wouldn't be so bad.
Sincerely,
Kiyotaka
[ Suzune's heart beats at an all too familiar pace now. A red hue adorning her face full of scorn, she utters half-hearted curses at this dastardly letter.... ]
Kanzaki: "I see. It made sense why he dissapeared now."
Katsuragi: "A future set in stone, huh."
Ryuuen: "Never mind that. What's with that water bottle hand, kukuku."
Arisu: "Agreed, I'm also interested in that."
Suzune: "Not in your dreams."
Haruka: "Horikita san, you're deeply in love."
Suzune: "No."
Dear Kiyotaka,
You should watch what you write next time. I appreciate you being honest about where you've been, even if it's not the complete truth, I've learned better to take what I can get from you. I do not however appreciate the way you seemed to describe me as some sort of monster when you are much much worse. And for mentioning that godforsaken incident I thought would have left your head after all these years.... you better sleep with one eye open for the rest of your life. Someday, you will receive due retribution.
And stop saying stupid things. Don't play with my feelings. You'll make me misunderstand you.
Sincerely,
Suzune
Kiyo: "But you are a monster, Horikita."
Suzune: "Shut up will you."
Kei: (I mean if the one saying it is him, it does look like he's being playful.)
Manabu: (He's being sincere, not playing with you. How dense can you be, Suzune.)
This fucker....
Dearest, Suzune
I'll be sure to plaster the place I'm temporarily staying in with talismans to protect myself ( Yes, I am calling you an evil spirit. )
And I'm not saying stupid things. And you are not misunderstanding either. It is, what you read. I said what I said and meant it. Did you also mean it that you ended your previous relationships with other guys because you couldn't stop thinking of me? I'm quite flattered, and would like to hear further details.
Sincerely,
Kiyotaka
Girls: "HE IS SERIOUS!!!! KYAA!!!"
Ayanokoji Fanclub: "WRITE A LETTER FOR ME! AYANOKOJI SAMA!"
This is messed up...
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Dear Kiyotaka,
Since when did you develop an ego for this sort of thing? Assuming what you feel for me is indeed ' love '. Then are you perhaps jealous of my previous attempts at romance? Well, not like there is any real reason to be, since my experience with them was not as joyful as I would've hoped. It was worthwhile at least, gathering experience is forever crucial in any case. So I'm thankful.
I think the other girls hold romance in a high regard, sometimes too high to even be all that believable. But Akane-senpai's romance with my brother has proved itself to be an exception. I guess I've only yet to find a person like that for myself, someone I could see with adoration and similar.
Don't assume it's you. You'll only be disappointed.
Sincerely,
Suzune.
Nazuna: "Aww, how cute~~"
Fuka: "Never knew you can be like that, Ayanokoji."
Ryuuen: "Quit being a tsundere and date him already, Suzune."
Suzune: "No thank you."
Arisu: "But you're the one who said that you miss him."
Suzune: "NOT ME!"
Manabu: (Keep saying that, you'll eat those words later, Suzune.) Manabu smirks.
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......
Dearest, Suzune
Don't pretend like you're not an egoist yourself. You talk about me being jealous, yet that's conversely implying that you're something worthy to be jealous for. I think it's in line for me to say to not flatter yourself either. But in any case, it's truly suprising to hear you've had your experience in the dating field. I thought you'd never date till you were 30.
[ Suzune rolls her eyes ]
But let's switch topic. What have you been up to this week?
Sincerely,
Kiyotaka
Ike: "To be honest, I share the same opinion, Horikita san."
Haruka: "Yeah, never knew you would try to date someone."
Suzune: (Is my image that broken?)
They continued exchanging letters. It became a daily routine, though not unfamiliar to Suzune since she'd done so for the past 3 years. But this is quite special, now that Kiyotaka is responding. She felt content like this.
Each letter she waited for held a deep rooted excitement for what's to come. It was strange. She'd never felt like that for a boy before. Perhaps there really was a thrill to this sort of thing, letter exchanging required time to make and time to send, it's not like texting where everything can be said in just a few clicks and it'd only take a moment for the receiver to see it. No, this one has delays. And sometimes their letters wouldn't be able to arrive on time.
Everyone: "She's in lovee~~~~"
Suzune: "No I'm not!"
Everyone: (Tsundere.)
But neither complained. It only made the other person's letter, even worth the wait.
They learned more about each other. More than what they've known of each other from high school. It was awfully easy for them to unravel themselves so openly, through such an outdated way of expression; a simple old letter exchange. But Suzune understands the sentimental side of things to this ordeal, each letter was written with care and expression, it's something a text or email could never replicate. An AI can never beat something written by the human hand. It is far too valuable than anything artificial can create.
Girls: "So romantic!!!"
Boys: "I wish I can do that with someone."
Virgin readers: (Us too!!)
Yare yare these single mfs.
.......
" You should ask him to visit." Kikyo suggests. " Exchanging letters like you're Romeo and Juliet is cute, but seeing someone in person is a different feeling altogether."
Random: "Finally they point it out."
"....I don't know." Suzune twirls a lock of her black hair, stunning Kikyo a bit. In no way is the Horikita Suzune acting so.....girly right in of her right now!
Ryuuen: "Kukuku, how cute, Suzune."
Hosen: "Hah! that suits you more!"
Akane: (Suzune chan so cute!)
Kei: (No way...that looks like a main female lead! a last boss material!)
Everyone: "Cute."
Kiyo: (Oh my God.)
Suzune: "Ayanokoji kun, are you perhaps thinking of something rude?"
Kiyo: "No. Not at all."
It felt oh so wrong to witness, yet so damn adorable. Kikyo smiles. " Are you scared?"
" Exchanging letters is fine with me," Suzune honestly didn't trust her own answer there. " I don't need to see him."
Kanzaki: "Honestly, just be honest that you love him."
Shibata: "Right?! Horikita san is playing tough, hahahaha."
It's a secret, so don't ever tell a soul. But quite the large percentage of their exchanges consisted of subtle flirting too. Suzune didn't want to mention that to Kikyo since she'd already figured the end result would be her annoying teasing, and a subsequent twist on the ear as retaliation.
If Suzune were to tell the truth, she does want to see him in person. But she's afraid of what she might do. She might sucker punch him right in the gut for going in radio silence for 3 years. She might just give him a hug for coming back to her after 3 years.
Or both. She might do both.
She'd....like to do both.
Ryuuen: "Or she'll kiss him they fuck."
I bonked Ryuuen.
Ryuuen: "what the fuck?!"
L: "Language, Ryuuen. It's Ramadhan."
Oh yeah, for all my Muslim readers, have a good Ramadhan!
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Winter break was soon to begin.
Already, a decent amount of snow had begun falling onto the city, painting the streets in its soft white texture. Decorations were put up to celebrate the coming winter holiday, and the mood was certainly joyful as always.
While many were out and about with their friends or whatnot, a boy leaves the post office with his hands stuffed in his jacket pocket. Each breath he exhales was cold. Ah, yes. Cold. He'd been associated with the cold, both figuratively and literally, for an innumerable amount throughout his whole life. Especially the past 3 years or so.
But this time it was different.
Because as of right now, he could proudly say, that his heart was beginning to warm this year.
Random: "Is that?"
L: "Yes, it's Kiyotaka."
He sends one more glance to the post office, and a small smile accompanies his usually stoic face. It's been a while since he'd began to look forward to something like this. He might just lose sleep over it.
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A day later, a girl receives a letter.
Its contents nearly making her spill her cup of hot choco onto her floor.
.........
Ike: "Oi oi, does this means...."
L: "Yes, Ike."
Dearest, Suzune.
I understand winter break must be coming soon for you. I'm assuming you'd usually spend that with either your family or with Kushida, but may I ask for your time this year instead?
No, we will not spend the day sending letters for your break. That'd be unfair. But I'd like to reserve your time on the 21st.
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L: "They are going to meet."
Because I could no longer wait to be by your side anymore.
I'll see you around your place by then, Suzune.
Sincerely yours,
Kiyotaka.
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To Be Continued
Part 2 is here! 2 more to go!
Tmi, I finished this chapter while I'm on my class, here's the proof
Ayt see you guys on part 3!
Published date: 21-3-2024