"𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲
𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐈, 𝐈, 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐚, 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐚?"
This was it, the day you had been waiting for for the past month. It was one of your very first official award shows, and you were so nervous you swore you were going to pass out. The hotel you were getting ready at was overcrowded by dozens of people waiting outside, hoping to get a glimpse of some of the actors staying here. You found this hilarious, as you had learned quite early on in your career that a ton of the famous people you were going to meet on your way to the top, weren't even half as great as the internet made them out to be. In fact, some were even rude, for no particular reason at all.
For you, it had been an easy decision to remain offline, and out of the public eye for most of your career. With barely any press, you had fought your way through the premiere of season one of the show you were on, House of the Dragon. Stepping into a universe with such a large fanbase was possibly the scariest thing you have ever had to do, and it was hard not to study every bad comment people made about you online. After one of your friends finally managed to get you off of Twitter, everything else felt easy to delete. Sure, there were a lot of press questions about you fully disappearing from the internet, and you were certain that a lot of people were speaking up about it online, but it didn't really matter to you anymore.
Instead of spending every spare minute of the day contemplating every single one of your life decisions, you often found yourself picking up a book, or going for a walk. Being stopped by fans in your local Tesco wasn't a huge deal to you, as you always tried to imagine that it were you meeting one of your favourite actors. That made it a whole lot easier to remain calm, and kind in those kinds of situations. Even though you had been in the industry for a small while now, you never got socially used to it. The forced conversations and small talk were never really your thing, and being an actor didn't change this.
Which is why you were day drinking in a hotel room, the only other person in the room being Sofia, your stylist. The event didn't start until at least another three hours, and the rest of the people who were supposed to help you get ready were going to arrive any time now. She gave you the okay to drink a while ago, but you were pretty sure neither of you expected you to drink this much. To be honest, you were never much of a drinker, and the fact that you were halfway done with a bottle of wine even managed to surprise you.
It wasn't like you were taking shots every five minutes, but you could still feel yourself begin to get dizzy. You had no idea what kind of drunk you were, as you had only ever made it that far once or twice. All you knew was that this was the most nervous you had ever been for anything, ever. It was your very first 'big' award show, and you had absolutely no clue as to who were going to be there.
The producers of House of the Dragon decided to send both you and one of your colleagues, Emma D'Arcy, on behalf of the show. Why this could possibly be a good idea, you didn't know. You were publicly known for being the clumsiest of the entire cast, but since you had barely done any of the press they wanted you to do, you couldn't bear yourself to turn them down when they asked you. Besides, this could be fun, right?
Not having Emily, one of your other co-stars around, was going to be hard during a night like this. The two of you got one another on a level you felt was unique from anything you had experienced before, and it felt good to be known so well by someone. You couldn't hide from Emily, the way you hid from everyone else, including yourself. The both of you being young, queer actors didn't make it any easier in the industry.
As much as every project was looking for 'diversity' now, many showrunners still had a tendency to allow straight cis people to play the small amount of queer roles there were in the industry. It had always seemed like a dream to you to play a queer character, but you knew this chance was highly unlikely. Though a lot of people loved making up rumours and assumptions about your character, Rhaenyra Targaryen, and her possibly having feelings for Emily's character, Alicent Hightower, you knew they were never going to create explicit gay relationships in a show like House of the Dragon, as it was located in the same universe as Game of Thrones, making anything outside of the heterosexual norm unacceptable to the rest of the characters.
You played the younger version of Rhaenyra, and as Emma played the older version of the character, the two of you didn't have much contact with one another during the shooting period. Emily was the only one you truly bonded with on set, which was fine to you as her friendship got you through the long days of filming, and made it a little more bearable to work on barely eight hours of sleep, which was far too less for you.
Snapping you from your thoughts, the door to the hotel room opened, both your assigned makeup artist and hair stylist walking in. You had never experienced this level of treatment before, and it made you feel as if you were on top of the world. Sure, you had spent hours in makeup on set, but that was different. It was far too early to process what was happening when you were in the chair, and it became a standard procedure at some point. These were strangers you had never seen before putting you in full glam. You greeted the two middle-aged women politely, quickly putting aside the glass of liquor you were holding as you didn't want to seem like the basic Hollywood snob, because you were the exact opposite of that.
The alcohol had found its way to your brain, leaving you unable to think clearly, which took away a huge part of the stress that had taken over your thoughts. One of the two women requested you to sit down, which you quickly did. You may have lost your ability to think, but you were still polite enough to obey the older woman. With perfect timing, your phone buzzed the second you sat down. "Excuse me." You apologised as they were just setting up to get started with your hair of makeup.
The noise that was coming from your phone was highly distracting, and you quickly grabbed it from your pocket. Not to any of your surprise, it was Emily trying to facetime you. Without a second thought, you hit accept. The brunette popped up on your screen, a smile spread across her face before she took in where you were. "Are you busy? Should I call back later?" She immediately asked you, causing you to make eye contact with the woman who was currently spreading her makeup across one of the dressers in the hotel room. She gave you the go ahead, and your eyes found their way back to Emily's.
"You're fine." You giggled, shaking your head. The younger woman looked at you suspiciously, almost as if she was looking for something. "Are you drunk?" The brunette guessed, barely half a minute into the call. You scoffed, oblivious to the way you were acting. "Is it that obvious?" You raised your eyebrows, almost unable to believe you had hit that level of drunk already. "Only to me." She reassured you, and as your eyes scanned the screen, you were able to detect several of her plushies, confirming she was in the comfort of her own bedroom. "I miss England already." A long sigh left your lips as the first brush touched your face, applying the rather cold product.
Emily giggled at this, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. "You're such a British snob." The brunette teased, leaving you with your mouth opened. "Am not!" You attempted to defend yourself, but as always, it came out completely wrong, your voice sounding more posh than ever before. Your friend shook her head as the same smile she had at the beginning of the call appeared on her face. "Anyways, one of my friends is also going to be there tonight. Maybe you can say hi?" The last sentence came out hesitantly as if she was trying to convince you.
An immediate feeling of guilt entered your body as the expression on your face grew apologetic. "Sorry, but I'm so anxious already, I don't think I'll be able to talk to anyone other than Emma and Sofia tonight. And you know how much the entire Emma thing freaks me out already." You were far too much of a people pleaser to reject requests like these, but you knew that if you were to say hello to this friend of Emily's, you would be so nervous you might accidentally make a fool of yourself, which caused even more anxiety to creep up on you.
The dark-haired girl tilted her head as a frown appeared on her face. "Don't apologise! If you're not up for it, you're simply not. You'll probably get the chance to meet them in the future, so it's all fine." She reassured you, making you feel at least a bit better. The words slowly began to process as the makeup artist was busy blending what you guessed was foundation. Them? This could either mean Emily didn't reveal the mysterious friend's gender on purpose, or that they were non-binary. Either way, you somehow felt nervous about meeting them, even though you had no clue as to who they were.
"Thank you, Em. I'll promise I'll make it up to you soon." You couldn't help but remain apologetic as you still had a large sense of guilt in you. The brunette smiled at you, the dimples in her cheeks making an appearance. "I'll call you later, okay? Please at least try to have fun tonight, and please for the love of God, stop drinking." The smile didn't fade as she said the last sentence, causing you to let out a small chuckle. "Alright, alright. Talk to you later." A feeling of relief managed to make its way to you as you hung up the phone.
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Even though both the hair stylist and the makeup artist did an absolutely incredible job, you couldn't help but feel powerless and intimidated surrounded by so many big names. Sofia assured you that your co-star, Emma, should be there any time now, and that you would be able to make your way to your assigned table soon. The behind the scenes of the Golden Globes were hectic to say the least, with staff practically running through the halls as if they feared for their lives. You stood on the side of the red carpet awkwardly as you waited for your colleague to arrive.
Getting your pictures taken gave you such a huge confidence boost for a moment, but that confidence faded the second you stepped off of that same carpet. For some reason, the only thing that had kept you calm while intoxicated were the camera's pointed at you. The insecurities all seemed to suddenly return to you as you were met with reality again, and everything and everyone became way too overwhelming out of nowhere.
The panic began to set as you felt yourself nervously fidgeting around with the dress you were wearing, which wasn't exactly the most comfortable thing you had ever worn. As much as you wanted to push aside the nerves, you had no choice but to be nervous as a new celebrity you had obsessed over at one point passed by every minute. At one point you were even sure you saw Pedro Pascal, and Sofia had to force you to stay quiet as you let out squeaks of excitement. You usually weren't this audibly or energetic, so you once again assumed this was the alcohol.
It wasn't until after your eyes met with a familiar face when your nerves started to calm down. Emma was wearing an oversized suit, making you jealous with the comfortableness of their outfit, which looked absolutely stunning on them. They called out your name out of excitement before giving you a small hug, being careful not to ruin any of the makeup you were wearing. "I thought you'd never come, thank God." You let out a sigh as you let your shoulders drop, allowing yourself to slightly relax.
As they pulled back, Emma tilted their head as if they were realising something. "You're drunk, aren't you?" They grinned, causing a large frown to form on your face. "How could you immediately tell?" You seemed so surprised at the revelation, that Emma let out a chuckle. "Let's say you're not the best at hiding it. Besides, you're not used to liquor, you like never drink, ever." The smile never left their face as you let out another sigh of defeat.
Instead of continuing to tease you about being drunk, Emma signaled for you to take their arm, and you curled your arm into theirs as you started to walk away from the people. "Want to go find our seats?" They suggested, almost as if they had read your mind. "Yes, God yes, please." You let out a nervous and relieved chuckle as you continued to walk. "You better hope we don't win tonight." They let out a chuckle at the thought of you getting on stage all drunk and dazy.
The two of you were now walking through a bunch of still crowded halls, which you assumed led to the main room where the awards would be presented later tonight. Emma came to a stop all of a sudden. "I'm heading to the bathroom, but you should get there if you keep walking straight forward. I'll be there in a minute." They let go of your arm, and smiled at you before disappearing out of your sight.
Now here you were, all alone in a random hallway in a building you had never even entered before today. You decidedly kept walking forward like Emma told you, keeping your eyes down to avoid being spoken to by anyone. This seemed to be a bad idea, because before you knew it, you felt a cold drink splash all over you as someone unfamiliar bumped into you.
Looking down at your dress, you could see the damage was minimal, but it was still very much there. "Fuck's sake." You rolled your eyes as your gaze traveled over to the person who had just spilled their what you assumed was a normal coke on you. "Thanks a lot." You said sarcastically before walking past them, purposely bumping into their shoulder on your way.
You didn't even attempt looking back as you tried to withhold the tears. This was your very first event, and you were already making a fool of yourself. The stain in your dress was probably very easy to get rid of, but your mind couldn't think clear as you kept your eyes focused on whatever was before you. What was supposed to be one of the best nights of your life, had already been an absolute nightmare.
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By the time your category got announced, you were so drunk you could barely stop yourself from constantly giggling. The table you were seated at waited with patience, and the yells and cheers that suddenly came from both Emma and the others at your table most likely meant your show had won. You don't remember much about getting up there on stage, but you were certain it looked anything but elegant.
Your legs felt wobbly as you tried to get on the much to tall staircase that led to the stage, and once on there, you couldn't stop the grin that was spread all over your face as you clinged against Emma. The thoughts that were going through your mind all seemed irrational, giving you a headache.
As much as you wanted to enjoy the moment, and remember it all, the amount of alcohol you had consumed stopped you from doing any of that. Your gaze scanned the room as you wondered whether anyone could notice you were drunk. This continued until your eyes met with a vaguely familiar set of eyes, it was the person who had bumped into you before.
Not rolling your eyes right then and there seemed impossible as you fought the screaming urge to. The rest of the world seemed to go mute as all they gave you was a smile. A sweet, kind, and probably even genuine smile. It almost made you even angrier, so you decided to look the other way, over to Emma. They were, as opposed to you, actually paying attention to the speech that was being given as your show accepted the award.
It all felt so blurry to you, that when the entire crowd began clapping, your brain didn't seem to make the connection that you had to leave the stage. Emma curled their arm into yours as they got you off of the main stage, and at that moment you swore all the eyes were on you, causing you to grin again. It all seemed too sureal to process as you found your way back to your seat.
☆☆☆
𝘿𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙫𝙤𝙩𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩!
𝙄𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙨 𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥𝙨 𝙨𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮!
AN: Can't believe I finally get to share this story with you all! After all of the support on the last fanfiction I wrote, I decided to ask some of the readers what type of story they would like to see next, and this is what came out of that!
I'm estimating that this story will have about fifteen chapters, but I haven't had the chance to fully work this fanfiction out yet. Just expect around a three hour story in the end. Instead of pressuring myself into posting every 1 to 2 days, I will now be uploading a new chapter on both Wednesdays and Saturdays, which should also give you guys a heads up as for when to expect new content!
Wordcount: 3123