Hibakusha
被爆者
Shöwa era. Hiroshima 1944
The ink has dried
We are bound, you and I,
In blue water colours.
I reflect on when
You last played with my hair.
Dec 25
The snow is unspoilt
Along the path to Mitaki-dera.
You never visit anymore.
One year older then,
Too old to see Kami.
Dec 26
I do not like the look
Of this winter crow.
Do you find me to your liking?
No ochazuke for you!
Unless, it's taken from my mouth.
Dec 27
You blame me
For not lying with you.
All is fair!
It's too early
For cherry blossoms.
Dec 28
Ten thousand Nakajima,
Dragonflies skimming the sea.
How do you live
With your divine wind?
Did Hokusai paint these waves?
Dec 29
A widow smells my hair,
To satisfy her curiosity.
How rare a moment,
To notice her sigh,
While she undresses me.
Dec 30
Being capricious,
I perform a piece of Kabuki
At the year-end party.
Spirit me away, my darling!
I'm blushing, does it show?
Dec 31
Shöwa era. Hiroshima 1945
It is as the black rain
would have me tell it.
Fire stole away poor Chō.
Her beauty was not without
A sense of grandeur.
Jan 1
Yesterday,
A chill overcame me
And ash got everywhere.
Winter crow is impatient
To gouge out my eyes.
Jan 2
I am
Cherry blossom.
Not to be mistaken
For plum blossom.
That, my love, is a different fruit.
Jan 3
Plagued
By the winter crow.
"Cawa-cawa!"
"Save yourself, Heian!"
I am not dreaming.
Jan 4
I colour my eyes
A dark blue.
It will wash off in the rain
And all will wonder
What on earth am I doing?
Jan 5
I keep myself hidden
Unable to tie an obi,
My uselessness shows.
I cannot let you in
When my mood is like this.
Jan 6
It is forbidden to say,
I consort with Kami,
From places you cannot see.
The wearing of white
Is a double edge sword.
Jan 7
Through me
You learn nothing.
Find yourself another,
Who will teach you
The art of lovemaking.
Jan 8
The emperor's voice
Has lost its fragrance.
Son of heaven
Claims the battlefield.
Ten thousand cheers.
Jan 9
I stole a rice cake,
Hinata saw me do it!
His silence moves me.
A modest bow,
Offers the illusion of love.
Jan 10
Samurai! War!
Have you forgotten
How to fight?
Oh, you no longer are,
You are merely myth.
Jan 11
I am summoned.
Shikibu's tears blacken
At her passing beauty,
Why? Let those things
Be what they are.
Jan 12
Yes, overcome, I ate
Hinata's burning heart.
He left it there
For me to find
And I was hungry.
Jan 13
It's not on purpose
That a tear – should
Ruin me, or consume
This much beautiful ink.
How dark my childhood is.
Jan 14
In empty spaces
I let in the cold,
Also, the snow
Just to watch my breath
Escape my mouth.
Jan 15
My love, unable
To make up his mind
Whether to stay or go
Knows where he belongs.
So why doesn't he feel it?
Jan 16
Junko is cold -
Aoi no longer writes her.
Heaven's sake, patience!
If you must, grieve
What might have been.
Jan 17
I wish for someone
To compose poetry
For the morning after.
Help me overcome
This blue fever.
Jan 18
Oh, to slip and fall
In snow as others do.
Oh, for the shame
Of making fools of ourselves.
Today was so much fun.
Jan 19
Women of colour
Concealed in paint
What lies beneath?
One of you murmurs
Endearments in my ear.
Jan 20
How sure am I
What I am becoming
Keeps you away?
Shall I comb my hair – become
Someone you will like?
Jan 21
Beauty –
Is not so miraculous
Though few ever see it.
Have you never chased
A butterfly, fluttering?
Jan 22
Far flung are my travels,
I've walked this path before,
Frozen footsteps deserted.
A free spirit, wandering
Mt. Senior-ji is a great friend.
Jan 23
Is this my life
Or someone else's?
In various stages
Of undress – I
Am lost in thought.
Jan 24
To be strong
Is a gently paced climb
Woven delicately – bittersweet.
That's what my father
Needed to hear from me.
Jan 25
Things fall apart,
Do they not?
There is an ending
To this fleeting life.
Let new things grow.
Jan 26
A celestial light
In the eternal ink sky.
A soothing pull,
Flying majestically alone.
A young kamikaze warrior.
Jan 27
This evening,
I lost a game of kumikō.
Is it necessary to complain?
The incense had spoiled
And my heart wasn't in it.
Jan 28
All I want to do
Is close my eyes
And quietly disappear
For no reason – other than
To faint – tired and stupid.
Jan 29
In the mood for love
I promised myself
To whoever wanted me.
Best to forgive and forget
Now that I have flowered.
Jan 30
Raise the blue lantern!
The way of the kami!
My mother scolds me:
'Those spirits are too old –
Old and cruel.'
Jan 31
You did not look at me.
This deep sorrow
Will eventually heal.
I sense – you want
Nothing to do with me.
Feb 1
A geisha
Is careful and discrete
What man – she lets
Flower inside her.
It requires discipline.
Feb 2
To take one's life,
On Mt. Senior-ji,
Is a suicide – is it not?
I disagree!
It is a transcendence.
Feb 3
Tears are not enough
For Shikibu – how it felt
And what it meant.
She took her own life
And laid to rest the past.
Feb 4
On such an occasion,
Where all is true,
A woman undone
And made see-through
On a visit to the bathhouse.
Feb 5
Winter crow -
I don't have anything
Against you – only that
I don't always see
The scars that you bear.
Feb 6
There is nothing
More banal than
Lighting a candle
For an old flame – as he
Choses a different path.
Feb 7
Masuyo wastes hours
With the same man.
I am groomed
To tell a similar tale
In the nights to come.
Feb 8
I've taught myself
To live a shadow life.
It is a promising start,
This new experience
Known only to me.
Feb 9
A blissful end
To the lunar new year.
A blue lantern floats
In its dying moments
Face down in the river.
Feb 10
Forbidden love
Is the pleasure of being
Transformed when eaten.
Surely then, the taste
Is all that matters?
Feb 11
All I want to do
Is make one more
Beautiful thing – before
The snow turns black –
It's ugliness frustrates me.
Feb 12
It has been an age,
Since a well chosen
Ghost story scared me.
Masuyo does her best,
But I am worthy of better.
Feb 13
How miserable!
I match Junko's beauty
But fall short of her spirit.
She keeps herself young,
Whatever her age.
Feb 14
Your coldness
Forces me to move
To another room.
Am I not the Heian
You asked for?
Feb 15
Unlike Chinese apples,
The taste of yuzu fruit
Makes my skin crawl!
There is more on my lips
Than what there is in my mouth.
Feb 16
Sakura won't return
My comb she so admires.
The indiscretion
Never crossed my mind
Until I stroked her hair.
Feb 17
I wonder,
Are we a pale imitation
Of our ancestors?
What is it about them
That makes my heart ache?
Feb 18
The waters of old Ōta
Is especially harsh.
At this hour – I must face
The river – for the sake
Of my best kimono.
Feb 19
Rarely out of sight,
Winter crow lives
According to his prey.
He knows I may not
Be around forever.
Feb 20
You hang on every word
Be it sung or spoken.
How precious might this
New love be - were
Our lives to end now?
Feb 21
I don't know what you
Were after – chasing me!
There is no farewell,
No taboo worth breaking
To make me care about you.
Feb 22
War –
A silk butterfly
Set alight
Vanquished
Burns itself out.
Feb 23
I am not always here
To answer the door.
Though you spent
The night knocking,
I was truly elsewhere.
Feb 24
A young girl
Brought in after dark
Is a thing of exquisite
Beauty – especially if
It is her first time.
Feb 25
The fruit
Of the morning
Is eaten first.
Less so the evening,
After it has soured.
Feb 26
Whatever I wish for,
You cannot blossom
Until the first fruit flowers.
This is why – our love
Will always – perish.
Feb 27
Blue –
Wherever it is found,
Loosely relates
To my family name –
Seiyama!
Feb 28
This endless rain
Makes a fool of me.
Sakura think so!
With nowhere to go,
Why chase after spirits!
Mar 1
Trapped by rain,
I play the koto.
I do so - knowing
I shall grow tired
Of the melody.
Mar 2
Your voice
Is beautiful
Not from singing,
But by your scorn.
Or have I misspoken?
Mar 3
We love and die.
But to die – forgotten?
What's left?
I find myself back
Inside your head.
Mar 4
If you wish –
Come close,
Play with my hair.
I don't bite!
Unless I want too.
Mar 5
The sadness
At the passing of things
Causes my ink brush
To run warm and thick
With honeyed memories.
Mar 6
You seem out of place
In this sacred temple.
No longer winter crow
But spring – and so what
If you have a nice bite!
Mar 7
Aren't you
Tired of exploring me?
Aren't you burnt out?
My emotions – are
Volcanic landscapes.
Mar 8
A love poem
Written as blackmail
Arrives this morning.
You start promisingly,
But life goes on.
Mar 9
Sakura doesn't care
What man she ruins.
In every gesture –
It shows – I pray
She has a chaste month.
Mar 10
It is unusual
For spring crow,
To show his affection.
Left on my pillow
A small dead rosefinch.
Mar 11
You mustn't lose sight
Of heaven – you will not
Find me in another life.
Reincarnation is not
Meant for people like us.
Mar 12
Half the things I do
Are violently blue,
Impulsive and rushed.
Why consort with me,
If you forbade bitting?
Mar 13
What I look like – depends
On when you look.
The world is not as you wish
It to be – yet I do more
Than just awaken in it.
Mar 14
A woman knowing
Her beauty's worth,
Coerces others into
Her strange goings on
But she bruises easily.
Mar 15
To my shame
I've seen an awful thing.
A mans orgasm
Happening in plain sight
Is not easy to laugh off.
Mar 16
Chasing a simple thrill,
In the wild woods
Sloping Mt. Misen,
We were but a breath away.
Instead, you just said – No!
Mar 17
A plum-pink Maiko
Makes a fine impression.
But tread carefully!
There's a sting in her tail
Whenever she sighs.
Mar 18
Such indulgence!
I'm not keeping
Secrets from you.
It is the rain that keeps
You from reaching me!
Mar 19
Kimiko has vanished,
Her mother insists
She was taken by spirits.
It is a worn out tale
Spun finely from white silk.
Mar 20
A landscape
Of spring blossom,
But winter will not
Go quietly away.
It's coldness bites.
Mar 21
Sakura
Need you flower
For so short a time!
I wish away
The time left to me.
Mar 22
Chō is tamed
By an unwonted pregnancy.
(Does such a thing exists?)
Drawn to her blue sleeves
I idle on the colour.
Mar 23
Yes, if she sighs
She is keeping
Something from you.
Isn't what you already have
Good enough for you?
Mar 24
Out of nothing
Comes solace.
I hold my breathe
To the very last gasp
Hoping I would die.
Mar 25
Yes, we are all hungry.
I might run to Hinata,
And beg of him
To spare us some rice.
He is without mystery.
Mar 26
All of us, together
Went to a shallow river
To wash our uniforms.
We are becoming fewer
By the error of our ways.
Mar 27
When you must
Break bad news
To a loved one.
Do not busy yourself
With romantic feelings.
Mar 28
You are the first
I have ever spoken to
About seeing spirits.
My life is pulled apart
By scandalous chatter.
Mar 29
A way into
A woman's heart
Is to heal the wounds
From injuries
You have caused her.
Mar 30
My lack of care
Often brings to light
The smallest lie.
It can turn out well
If tended to beautifully.
Mar 31