A/N: As promised, here is the book of deleted scenes/ one shots. Please note that these are not in chronological order because my brain is like a sieve and I'll be sure to leave something out and ruin it anyway😂 but I will highlight where about in the main story it's in relation too at the start! For those of you who may be new here, howdy and enjoy! As usual all views, votes and comments are greatly appreciated and as mentioned before, I'm open to requests! Anyway, let's kick things off with some smut and protective Joel!
Trigger warnings for this one shot:
- Smut
- Mentions of fertility issues
- Mentions of infant loss
- Canon typical violence
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Set three months after chapter 49 (Till Death Do us Apart Pt2)...
The crisp ground crunched coldly beneath his heavy leather boots as he soundlessly made his way through the darkened streets, the insulation within not doing much to prevent the numbing of his toes. The frigid late November air whipped across his bitter cheeks, lashing at his already chapped lips- Not that it particularly bothered him at this stage. A seven day supply run will do that to you, numbing your senses toward the volatile climate that being this far north brought with it. Winter was coming in hard and fast. Each lampshade extinguished leaving just the early morning twinkle of the stars and the glare of the moon to illuminate his path. His path home.
It hadn't been his intention to creep back into his house at the ghostly hours of three in the morning; his initial scheduled plan to hit the gates by early evening squandered by a reasonable sized horde that had begun their migration south (at least that is what they all assumed it to be, with the increase of larger groups that always seemed to appear around this time of year) around ten miles out... and so here he was, doing everything in his power to not awaken his Wife at this ungodly time as the wooden slatted porch steps creaked under each of his movements.
As soundlessly as he could, Joel flicked the lock on the front door with a quiet click before kicking off those damn boots that had barely left his still frozen feet for the past week, the item of footwear starting to feel like an unwelcome extension of his limbs as they begun to grate the skin of his heel raw by the fourth day. It was an instant relief as he padded his way into the living room, throwing a few logs of cedar into the fire place along with a lit match before finding himself at his stash of bourbon. Anything and everything to help thaw out his otherwise frosted body - a thought spared to Ava as he considered the fact that she wouldn't be best impressed if he jumped into bed beside her as a block of ice.
A pacified sigh escaping his lungs as he kicked back into the comfort of the couch. A week out in the wilderness being a stark reminder of the luxuries he would always come to take for granted a short while later.
The heat radiating from the fireplace warming and mollifying his stiff limbs. Weary and rigid muscles finally easing to a state of calm after days on end of being on high alert. Joel lifted the glass tumbler to his lips, taking a large sip of the deep amber liquid. A deep inhalation breathed in as the alcohol burned down his throat, heating up each organ it passed through before settling pleasantly in his gut.
He had never intended on going on this run, it wasn't his scheduled turn but after Greg took a fall from his horse just days before and subsequently fractured his ankle, as head of patrol, he wasn't left with much of a choice. It was the last big outing before the winter storms fully kicked in and they couldn't afford to send the group out with one less.
It wasn't even that he particularly minded heading out on supply scouts, usually he didn't but this time was different... With Ava finding out that she was pregnant just weeks ago, he didn't want to leave her side. Especially not after last time... He hadn't wanted to let her out of his sight, hadn't wanted her to lift a damn finger just in case something horrific were to happen. He couldn't bare the thought of losing another child... That was reason number one as to why his presence on this run was reluctant at best. Reason number two? Reason number two was that he'd be stuck within close proximity of Lewis Burns for a whole damn week.
There had only been two other men within Jackson that had any previous sexual relations to his now wife, two relationships that seemed to have ended quickly and bluntly from his understanding. The first had left Jackson off his own accord just after Joel had arrived- absolutely nothing of his doing what so ever and then there was Lewis fucking Burns... He was tall, dark with piercing blue eyes, in his mid- thirties... oh and a complete and utter wank stain of a man. A rather envious man that was seemingly still bitter about his and Ava's break up- even now, over two years later...
Joel had heard the gossip from around town, the stories that the piece of shit spread as he caught onto the notion that Ava had moved on. The rumour that Joel had stolen 'his girl' from beneath his nose... it was laughable really. Immature. Ava was soon to set the record straight, reminding him that they had ended their short lived relationship four months prior to her even meeting Joel after seeing one another for only two months. Perhaps if he treated her with the respect she required instead of as an object- a trophy, he wouldn't have lost her...
Ever since, it had been a mirage of snide comments and sharp narrow eyed glares that had been fired at Joel whenever both men found themselves within the same space. He didn't care for the childish behaviour, he was too old for such drama and so he'd usually let the snarky comments and envy laced stares glide off of him like water off a ducks back to prevent him from snapping the younger man's neck but my fucking god, an entire week of this blokes bullshit? Now that was a tough fucking task.
After enduring the first couple of days, it had almost become a form of entertainment to watch Lewis seethe silently at each time her name was brought up. It was a well known fact that the blonde was now Joel's girl, his wife in fact. If he wanted to talk about her, then he fucking well would.
It was on the journey home when the five of them were huddled around a small fire, one of the younger guys of the group piping up and breaking the silence to ask 'what is the first thing you're gonna do when we get back?'. Most answers consisted of something along the lines of 'take a shower' or 'eat a decent meal' and in any normal circumstance, Joel would have opted to respond with something similar, never being one to divulge into his personal life but he couldn't help himself, his brain unable to pass up on the opportunity to rub salt into a still seemingly open wound as he shrugged nonchalantly with the same stoic expression he usually wore and responded with "my wife." A not so discreet glance in Lewis's direction was more than worthwhile to see the vermilion of his broken ego seep out across his face with bouts of steam billowing from his ears among the bemused snorts and approving chuckles of the others- a priceless expression.
Joel found himself smirking smugly just at the mere recollection of the moment, another sip swigged from his glass as he gazed vacantly into the flickering flames ahead. His attention suddenly piqued by the quiet creaks of the staircase, his head turning toward the sound as he anticipated the assumed presence of the dog coming to greet him... but it didn't sound like the padded thuds of his paws. Instead, it was Ava that sauntered around the corner and into room. Her movements fluid and calculated as she meandered over to him without breathing a single word, dropping the baby blue cotton night robe she had wrapped around her figure into a heap at his feet to reveal the dusty pink satin nighty beneath. The black laced hem just brushing the tops of her plush thighs as she climbed onto his lap. The warm orange glow of the fireplace being the only source of light illuminated each of her soft features, the innocence and serenity of the atmosphere shifting into something less virtuous.
"Hey, baby..." He murmured lowly as the tip of her nose brushed his, his palms gently but instinctively finding the swell of her hips that straddled over him.
Finding himself already cast away within her captivating hooded gaze, honey flecked irises warmed by the glow of the flickering flames penetrating his very soul and those parted lips... oh lord, those pretty plump lips that fanned his own with her minty warm breath... It really was no wonder as to why she had Lewis so fucked up. Shit, he was determined himself to be the very last man to ever enjoy her in this intimate way. If he ever found himself in a position where he could no longer have her then he'd ensure that no one else would either - he'd make damn sure if it.
It was oh so tender as she leant forward and carefully captured his lips with her own, so delicate yet somehow provoking. Her hips beginning to grind down onto his crotch as she took lead and deepened her kiss, tongue slipping past his teeth to taste her husband for the first time in a week. A small quivering breath exhaled into his mouth as his thickening length still clad in denim, pressed against her already dripping core.
"Sweetheart..." His stammering heart causing his breaths to become heavy as he leant forward to place his tumbler down onto the coffee table, "I ain't even showered."
Ava's lustful voice was almost desperate and she was, just that. Desperate. A surge of hormones flooding her system all thanks to the new inhabitant that had made its home within her womb and yet he hadn't been there to satiate her suddenly increased libido... There was only so much her own hands could achieve by themselves, weak releases that didn't at all compare to the sweet ecstasy her husband could bring her to. They couldn't reach that beautifully soft spot that only he could find and neither could they rub her in the same nurturing way that he would. That spot that almost itched from sheer deprivation... How could he leave her alone in such a way? Not to say that she hadn't at least once tried to force her digits far enough into her white hot cunt in a hopeless attempt at bringing herself to that heated release throughout the week she found herself alone. She raised the index and middle finger of her right hand up to Joel's lips, her arousal from her most recent attempt still wet and glistening in the warm glow of the flickering light. "I don't care..."
Joel's eyes shifted into something darker, his gaze not leaving hers whilst accepting her slick fingers into his mouth and accepting his cursed fate. To fuck with the shower... that could wait. The familiar bitter yet candied flavour of her delicious arousal on his tastebuds firing shockwaves into his brain to jumpstart something so carnal, so instinctive. His lids momentarily fluttering shut as he indulged in her divine taste. His very own testosterone sky rocketing after sucking her fingers clean before tugging her wrist away from his face and licking eagerly into her mouth, allowing her to experience the taste of her own essence.
Palms finding the globes of her ass and grasping a harsh hold, fingertips digging into her tender flesh as he dragged her back and forth over his now painfully solid erection that required any sort of relief.
Lips, tongue, saliva and teeth. It was all so feverish and hungry, sloppy almost as Ava's palms glided down his broad chest and towards the buckle of his jeans. Yearning fingers desperately fumbling with the leather of his belt before fighting with the button, the breadth of her hand coming to gently palm him through the material of his boxers, earning her a low growl of a noise as she freed him from his restraints.
His movements not being any less rash as he grappled to hike the silky material of her nighty up and around her waist, a frantic second spared for his other palm to grope at her full breasts, unable to settle on what part of her body to touch first. He wanted all of her, all at once. It had been a long week away from her. His hands roamed fervently before urgently clutching at her waist, fingers clinging onto the meat of her hips as he dragged her over his cock. Her wet folds saturating each solid inch of him as he guided her movements, his jaw clenching and chest thumping as the yearning... the craving to be inside her became too much, "Need you to sit on it, darlin'. Gotta feel you, now."
There was no objection, no argument even considered as she lifted her pelvis and steadily sank her heat over him. One fluid movement as she relished in that familiar stretch, that perfect burn as he made his home within her channel. A tremor to her lewd whimper as his tip instantaneously nudged into that spot that she had been so hopelessly trying to reach herself. A moment was needed for herself to adjust to his intrusion, her body requiring a few seconds to mould to his size, her face falling forward into the crook of his neck as she remained stationary and full on his lap.
The warmth of her canal so wet and soft, comparable to the silk that still adorned her figure. He could feel it, the constriction around his length slowly easing, gradually giving him the space to sink just that little bit deeper before finding himself pressed against her cervix. The nudge to the sensitive organ causing her to contract so suddenly and so deliciously around him. A deep breath sucked in as his hands gripped her waist that little bit more, willing her to move as he could already begin to feel himself fighting the build up of pressure, his voice low with a husk, "Gonna need you to start movin', baby... ain't gonna last a minute with you sat like that..."
Ava's back straightened as she begun her steady movements, lifting her hips up so that just his tip remained notched inside before gliding back down his length to sheath him fully inside her once more. With every impact of her ass hitting his thighs, him hitting a place so deep and untouched that it almost felt spiritual, sending her lust clouded mind into a new uncharted world, little squeaks of contentment left her lips. Her pelvis grinding down to ensure every last millimetre of him was stuff inside her tight channel, slowly and meticulously rolling her core into figures of eight as his grip only tightened on her.
He could watch her for a lifetime, the way she moved so elegantly and fluid atop of him. How she could set him alight with just a simple look and render him a mess. How she knew exactly how pleasure him, just how much pressure to apply and when. The little noises of pleasure that escaped her with each stroke like a pretty song to his ears. Fuck Lewis Burns... This woman was made for himself, he was sure of it.
His eyes scanned over her figure, stopping to focus over her abdomen. That tight little waist of hers, the very start of a small swell just starting to make an appearance beneath her belly button. It wasn't noticeable to anyone else but he had, something that seemed to have grown whilst he'd been away. Pretty, pretty girl, all full of his baby. Their little secret for the time being. A sense of pride and accomplishment as he mindlessly grazed his fingers over her womb before lowering to the crease of her thighs. The pad of his thumb coming down to rub delicate circles onto her sensitive nub. A wanton yelp expelling from her at the very moment he applied the slightest of pressure, her walls already twitching around his cock that was still shoved deep within her gut.
"Joel..." Ava whined with her eyes squeezed shut as her motions became more and more unraveled at the relentless attention he provided her clitoris with.
The coil within her abdomen spinning so tight that it almost hurt. Her mind so hazed over with his touch, overwhelmed by just how much this man had of her. He was everywhere. His breath on her neck, her body in his hold, his thumb on her pearl, his cock deep in her cunt, his ring on her finger and his child in her womb. He was everywhere, around her, inside her, she was his- in her entirety. Sultry whimpers breathed into his ear as she pummelled towards her release at an alarming speed, the muscles of her walls already spasming and her entrance beginning to flutter. "C-can't h-hold it. Gon- mmm- gonna..."
"S'okay... Come for me Darlin', know you need it...Let me feel you..." His shaky words low and gravelled as he continued his appreciation of her body, his fingers slipping to a V shape around his girth, holding her folds open so he could watch as he disappeared into her. A mixture of pre-come and slick spilling onto his skin before wiping the fluid onto her bottom lip. Watching as she sucked it in between her teeth with a moan.
Slamming down onto his cock one last time, the shudders of impact snapped that tightly wound coil as if it were a rubber band, a deluge of endorphins washing over her dazed thoughts, taking control of every sense as a pornographic cry yelped from her lips. Every ounce of energy stolen to fuel the strength of her release, her mind suddenly feeling as light as a feather as her ears rang. Her weary face dropping back into the crook of his neck, buried into his red hot skin as her entire form slumped forward onto him, no strength left to hold herself straight.
There was no mercy from him. There never was as one of his arms snaked around her back whilst the other palm cradled the back of her head into him. Filthy mutters of how good she was, how good she felt spilled into her ear as he took control. His hips bucking up into hers, deep and languid strokes as he worked her through her orgasm, laboured breaths whilst he fought the carnal and primal instincts that seemed to come all so naturally to him.
Her small overwhelmed, overstimulated whimpers quivering into his throat being that final straw to dissipate that self control he had tried so hard to hold onto, the snap of his pelvis becoming faster, harsher, stronger. The lewd reverberation of wet skin slapping against wet skin echoing in the room around them, her unvirtuous jagged cries bouncing from the walls whilst he refused to relent. That prurient possessiveness playing out in full force as he cooed into the shell of her ear, "Shhh, baby. I know, I know... just so full of me, ain't ya?"
Red eyed and dewy she nodded. Unable to get enough air into her lungs to form a verbal response.
"All mine. Always gon' be mine... bet fuckin' Burns didn't love you like this..."
"N-n-no...j-just you. Only you."
Her cock drunk words doing everything to inflate his ego. A prideful smirk tugging to his lips as he continued his ruthless pace, the clench of her tight walls pulling him right into her over and over, "He didn't deserve you. Never fuckin' deserved you... Always meant to be my girl, my wife..."
His climax arriving suddenly and unbridled as his hold on her tightened, fingers digging into her soft tender flesh. His raw thrusts slowing to enunciate each of the words that were hissed between gritted teeth, "Fuckin' mine."
Ava's body so sensitive and fragile, her used channel so tender to the touch that she found herself acutely aware of each and every throb of his cock as he once again filled the deepest part of her with his untainted release. Each slick slide of his length felt so severely as he fucked his own spend up into where he deemed it belonged, into the space that he had already so successfully occupied on a previous interlude.
The room fell quiet. Filthy words and lewd sounds reduced to nothing but breathless pants as she curled into his lap, his arms pulling her into an intimate embrace as her lips pressed a delicate kiss to the column of his throat. One returned to the top of her head as they held onto each other so closely.
The low burnt glow from the fireplace shedding a whole new warm light on the moment as her face tilted up to Joel's. A sleepy smile curved across his lips as he gazed into those perfect umber eyes, all hooded and spent yet so full of love and devotion. Her voice so soft and sweet, "Missed you..."
The adoring smile not reducing as his fingers delicately pushed the lose hair from her clammy forehead, "Why're you still awake, darlin'? T's gone three in the morning... Baby needs you to rest..."
Her nose nuzzled back into the soft space between his jaw and shoulder, the steady flutter of his pulse enough to resolve each thread of trepidation at his absence, "Can't sleep when you're not home..."
Joel raised his hand to cup beneath her chin, angling her face away from his throat and instead towards his own. His expression soft and doting whilst pressing an attentive kiss to her mouth, her lips still so warm and soft and inviting. Counting each and every one of his blessings that he had the chance to claim her as his own, despite deeming himself no more worthy than any man before him. He was no stranger to the love of a woman but never had it felt like this, never had he reciprocated that devotion quite like this, with her. "M' home now sweetheart. C'mon, come to bed."
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Ava would hardly sleep when knowing he was not within the safe embrace of Jackson's seemingly impenetrable walls. It never used to be this bad, not until she had been reminded so viscously of the treachery and heinousness that now resided so naturally within the wilderness. How morality was something that belonged to a world that she no longer lived in. The dark hours of the late night spent staring helplessly at the ceiling whilst clutching ahold of the vulnerable flesh that protected her womb. Her mind forcing her to recall how one miscalculated, poorly judged move could tear everything away from her, tear him away from her. 'I know what I'm doin'.' He'd tell her, 'Done it for years.' He'd say. None of it would stop her from worrying relentlessly. She couldn't lose him... not now... Her breath never fully released and lined with tension for every second he wasn't accessible to her. The air from her lungs only truly releasing when he was back home, his heated presence wrapped around her fragile frame so warm and protecting. Just like he was now, with her head tucked beneath his chin, her leg slotted in between his own whilst his arms held her so securely to his chest as his unconscious breath fanned across the pale hairs of her head.
He was exhausted- she couldn't blame him. These supply runs, especially the big ones were more than taxing. Having to travel further and for longer whilst remaining on high alert at all times and battling the elements. He wasn't a young man anymore either, no matter how much he'd argue it, no matter how he'd prove himself more efficient and stronger than the others every time, his recovery time would always be longer. She didn't want to wake him as the blinding beams of morning trickled through the threadbare curtains, casting a shadowed light over the bedroom furniture.
Carefully and considerately she attempted to manoeuvre herself from his hold, every measure taken to not wake him. It was a hopeless mission as his grip around her form tightened, pulling her back into him with a low incoherent grumble. She couldn't help the soft chuckle that left her as she pressed her lips to his jaw, her own voice hoarse thanks to the few hours of deep undisturbed sleep, "Joel, honey. I gotta get up. I'm meant to be at the shop in an hour."
A deep deflated sigh forced through his nostrils as he loosened his hold, releasing her from his embrace. She wasn't prying herself away by choice, not at all. In fact, after being deprived from his touch, there was nothing she wanted more than to spend the entire day drowning in his safe and comforting hold but needs are a must... He may have been deemed as deserving of a day off but in the eyes of Jackson, she had not... not for another couple of days, anyway.
"Call in sick..." Joel grumbled lowly. A last ditch and selfish attempt in keeping her to himself.
Ava sat upright on the edge of the bed, her back facing him as his arm reached out to trace a feather-light line down the vertebrae of her spine. The motion sending a pleasant shudder vibrating through her as she offered him an incredulous glance over her shoulder, "You know I can't do that..." Her palm gently resting over her stomach, "Not when I will potentially need a chunk of time off in the summer..."
He arched a brow at her. The uncertainty in her voice causing his eyes to snap open, "Potentially? You will need time off in the Summer."
It was her time to sigh as the fretful noise was breathed from her lungs. She stood up from the comfort of the mattress, peeling the satin nightly over and off her body before depositing it back beneath her pillow. A small grin playing across her lips as she felt his now very much awake eyes ogle shamelessly at her, "Quit staring."
"Never. Too damn beautiful for you're own good..." He praised, propping himself up onto his elbow to get a better look at her.
He was only met with a roll of the eyes as she clasped up her bra and shimmed into a fresh pair of panties- the joys of marriage, not that he cared. He watched as she rounded the end of the bed, positioning herself in front of the full length mirror. Her brows furrowing as her eyes lingered on the reflection of her stomach. He understood the trepidation she felt, probably better than anyone. The brutal loss of their unborn son, the baby that never got to experience the chance at life, hit them both like a ton of weighted bricks. Not only the loss of their first child but the unwanted sympathies that came with it, the traumatic experience having to be relived over and over with each time the subject was broached by someone new.
It had come as an unexpected surprise when she had blurted out her desire to intentionally try for another baby. One that he had initially shut down out of his own fear, a notion that eventually grew on him upon mourning the second chance of parenthood that had yet again been ripped away from him. A want that eventually turned into his own desire as he watched his, at the time fiancé, stand and stare absently at the abandoned nursery, a woman that actually wanted to bare his children. A woman who he could already tell would make the perfect mother... the mother his Sarah would have deserved.
She was so determined to have this baby, and it came as another shock at just how quickly it happened after considering the previous concerns that surrounded her fertility. He had expected her to be ecstatic when those two little lines appeared once again a little over five weeks ago but instead she had barely acknowledged the life growing within her. Her use of the word 'potentially' only confirming his assumption that her indifference was her way of not becoming attached to this new baby, out of fear that the child would be stolen from her before even having the chance to meet them.
"Ave, Darlin'?" He called out, waiting for her to turn to face him, his expression softening with reassurance, "It's gon' be alright. We're havin' this baby. I know it..."
She smiled weakly in response, turning to face the mirror once more. She angled her body to the side as she relaxed her stomach muscles, a palm gliding over her abdomen then rubbing over where their developing infant resided.
"Size of a strawberry apparently...." Ava pondered, her brow furrowing as she inspected her reflection more closely, "Thought I was going mad the other day when I first noticed, blamed it on bloating... but... I think- I think I'm already starting to show... just a little bit."
Her brows shot up as she glanced up towards Joel. Her palms cupped over the very, very subtle swell. A swell that would be disregarded as bloating to anyone other than the expecting couple, "Look."
He smiled warmly at her. It had been the first time she really said anything positive about the pregnancy since initially finding out, although he knew it was only due to her understandable anxieties. "Noticed it last night when you came down the stairs..." He snorted, "Actually dreamt last night... dreamt that you'd given birth n' we were in the infirmary all cuddled up. Just me, you n' our baby... Ain't ever been so excited 'bout anythin'... Can't wait to make you a mama..."
"Just six and a half months to go..." She crooned before moving away from the mirror and stepping into her cargo's, the material disguising the start of her bump perfectly as she buttoned them up, "What's your plans for today?"
Joel huffed, rolling onto his back, "That fuckin' creaky floorboard in the kitchen has been doin' my damn head in. Already tried to fix it once. Just gonna go ahead and replace it now... Drinks happenin' in the Bison later. Y'know to celebrate a successful run or some shit. Was gonna drop by for a bit with Tommy, you wanna come?"
Ava scrunched her nose whilst pulling a sweater over her head, "Uh.. No. I'll give it a miss... people will start asking questions if they see I'm not drinking. You still go though... you're probably the only reason why the run was so successful."
He hesitated for a moment, brows drawing together, "When are we gonna tell people? Only a few more weeks 'til you hit the three month mark..."
"I want to hide it for as long as possible." She responded very matter of factly before letting out a deflated huff of air, her shoulders slumping slightly, "I know you want to tell Tommy but... I just... I can't deal with it at the moment- with people knowing. I don't want the sympathy or comments... I'm terrified that something will happen... that I'll...." She trailed off, unable to even bring herself to speak the dreaded words out loud. Lose the baby...
"I know... Wasn't tryna push you. Just wonderin', s'all." His voice uncharacteristically empathetic as he nodded, "Hey, look at me. You're all that matters, Tommy can wait to find out like everyone else. Will happily wait 'til you're ready."
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Unsurprisingly the bar was packed as the daylight hours dimmed into the darkness of eve. Each table and booth occupied as a commotion of laughs, cheers, glass clinking and song reverberated in the surrounding atmosphere. Something upbeat in the air as a small band played a range of traditional Irish folk music in the corner of the room whilst people kicked and danced in the very little remaining space surrounding.
Joel found himself sat around a circular table just to the left of the crowded bar, joined of course by his brother as well as Rich and a few of the guys that had accompanied him on the supply run that all this was in aid of. His glass never running dry as each new comer joining took it upon themselves to top it back up along with their own.
"That fucking bloater man- Jesus Christ! Thought y'all were fucking with me- didn't think they actually existed!" Harry was one of the younger and less experienced members of the group, only recently turning nineteen. It made sense as to why he may have been just a little bit distrustful from the descriptions that had been provided. He'd already fallen victim to the very much made up walking toad stalls with shark teeth that would shoot spores from their eyes.
Ciaran, another one of the slightly more seasoned of the group snorted whilst providing a firm slap to the kids shoulder, "Shoulda seen your face man, shat your damn pants!"
"Nah, not lying. Genuinely thought I was gonna be that mushroom cunts lunch!"
There was a huff of laughter all around before Joel nodded his head towards the young man, "But you didn't. Took the fucker out and dealt with it well in the end..." The alcohol tugging a menacing smirk to his lips whilst taking yet another sip as it altered his brain waves to a lighter state, "Dealt with it better than you did with them ones with fangs that squirt spores from their eyes, anyway..."
"Oh fuck off, old man!" Harry light heartedly jeered, a chuckle rumbling from Joel in response. The much younger man shaking his head in amusement at the back and forth banter, "See this is probably the reason Burns don't like you, bet you bullshitted him and all!"
Tommy scoffed clapping his brother across the back, "Nah, that ain't the reason..."
Joel slammed his eyes before turning his attention to Rich who's vision narrowed whilst asking, "Where is your wife anyway? Ain't much like her to miss out on somethin' like this..."
His brows furrowed ever so slightly before softening, his attention falling on to the dregs of whiskey swirling around in the bottom of his glass. All of a sudden becoming very self aware and conscious to not give them any sort of indication of the true reason. His shoulders twitched into something that almost resembled a shrug as he kicked back into a more relaxed, unfazed position, "Said she ain't feelin' too hot. She don't sleep when I'm out... probably jus' run down."
Harry mischievously bobbed his eyes brows whilst shovelling a handful of pork scratchings into his mouth, "If she's sick, guess you didn't get to bang her as soon as you got back then, boss..."
"Jesus Christ," Joel muttered beneath his breath, a palm rubbing over his forehead to avoid the surprised expression of his sibling beside him. Two days ago huddled around that fire with Lewis's blood visibly boiling, he may have responded with a simple 'course I did' but that moment of boldness had long passed and all of a sudden there was a small amount of minor regret in antagonising the situation in that way, in giving any of these men any sort of inkling into something he deemed as being so very private.
Rich hunched over his glass, a clear snigger jostling his shoulders at his friends uncharacteristic indiscretions being outed.
"Jackson's changed you, brother... that or a good woman did." Tommy winked whilst sipping from his beer.
Joel sighed with a shake of the head, "Definitely the latter..."
The nineteen year olds face scrunched up as he swallowed his mouthful of dried pig skin, "I mean, I know Ave is like still youngish but shit, didn't think people your age still... Y'know, did that..."
The younger Miller brother choked on his alcohol, almost spluttering his mouthful across the table before forcing it back in a strained gulp, "How fuckin' old do you think he is?"
Harry just shrugged with a small grimace.
"I'm fifty one not goddamn dead!" Joel chastised with an incredulous look pulling at his expression, "Little fuckin' shit."
"Sorry, boss..."
He had warmed to Harry over the past few months of mentoring him out on patrols. The kids mannerisms reminding him of Ellie albeit being a couple of years her senior and not even half as smart but still, his remarks had pulled a chuckle out of Joel on more than one occasion.
He stared down into his now empty glass. Praising the lords above for the opportunity to remove himself from the rather unsavoury discussion of his sex life. Joel made no hesitation before heaving himself back onto his feet and grabbing for his tumbler, "Gettin' another..."
The place hadn't died down in the slightest, if anything it just felt more suffocating, as if they were all packed into this small building like sardines in a can but that could just be the affect that the abundance of straight whisky was having on him, his eyes already feeling that little bit hazy. He pushed his broad frame through the crowd before reaching the front of the bar. That was the only thing about this damn town, nobody truly feared him and for the foremost it was a pleasant observation. Were people intimated by him at times? Yes, but not fear. Not like how it used to be in Boston where he'd step into a room and a clear path would be made for him without even having to breath a word.
He reached behind the surface, his fingers moving towards his usual choice of bourbon. The clasp he planned on the bottle almost secured before another seemingly boldened hand shot forward, hoisting the same very bottle away from his reach. His brow furrowed. Rude.
He straightened his posture whilst his hardened stare followed the path that the bottle had taken. His jaw clenching upon settling onto the face that had appeared beside him, with the bottle in hand.
Drunken blue eyes narrowing in on him, almost daring him to take the bottle by force. Joel couldn't control the disbelieving snort that huffed through his nose, "You really gonna do this, now?"
Lewis's glare didn't shift, not even a fraction. His nostrils almost flaring as his knuckles turned white from the grip he had on the bottle head, "You think you're so fucking high and mighty, don't you? Waltzing on in here, throwing your demands around... Taking what you want. You ain't shit without Tommy, Y'know that? Just another fucking stray dragged in..."
Joel's demeanour hardened, his shoulders squaring as his jaw grew taut. His voice suddenly lower and more severe in the way it sounded, "What the fuck is your problem?"
"She was mine." The other man seethed through gritted teeth, his spare fist balled at his side. Anyone would think that him and Ava had been together for years from the way he would go on, that Joel came along and caused some type of adultery, an affair - which was really not the case.
Joel scoffed with a shake of the head. This was ridiculous... more than ridiculous actually. It was delusional. He married the girl for crying out loud, had a baby on the way even - not that it was common knowledge yet, of course... but he really hadn't expected to have to still be dealing with this pricks obsessive behaviour almost two years down the line all for a relationship that had lasted no more than two months at a push! There was absolutely no questioning on why Ava had chose to end things with him. He'd admit it to himself that perhaps it was a bit like pot calling the kettle black but it was clear that this kid had a couple of screws loose... Joel was at least partially self aware of his mental state. This guy? Didn't seem to have a clue...
"Jesus-Fuck me..." He found himself muttering beneath his breath before giving the man a rather pointed look, "I'm too damn old for this shit. You need to sort yourself out, kid."
He went to turn his back and head back to his table. He wasn't that desperate for a drink, he'd rather endure Harry's curiosity about his private life than spend another second humouring this ass wipe of a man. He found his feet glued to the floorboards as Lewis brashly called out to him, surrounding heads snapping to attention at the slurred, taunting words snarled.
"All fucking week, I've had to listen to you and your snide fucking remarks but let me tell you something, Joel!"
Joel didn't turn to face the other man, not yet but his shoulders tensed and his neck straightened as he stood froze in place. The tone of voice being used slowly heating his intoxicated blood up to a boil.
He could hear the sneer behind the next words spoken without even needing to glance at the bloke, "The other evening, whilst you were out hunting down some food for me to eat, you know what I did? I went and had the best wank I've had in a long time... nd' you know what image I had burned into my head the whole time?"
He could feel it, the vermillion rushing to his face as he hurled his body around to finally face Lewis. All sense of composer draining from his intoxicated body and allowing his whisky red hazed mind to take control. A threat laced into his own voice that he hadn't used-hadn't had to use towards anyone that resided in this town since his arrival. Joel's jaw clenched, his own fingers curling into fists with a stare so hostile, "Say another fuckin' word and I'll break your damn neck."
Maybe it was the lack of sobriety or shortfall of frightful stories that Lewis had been privy to in relation to the older man that stood before him. Either way, it was clear that the thirty-something year old did not recognise the severity of the moment as a bemused smirk tweaked at his lips. Challenging the very authenticity of the violent threat as he continued on with his mockery, "The vivid memory of my dick shoved down your wife's throat as she gagged on it, stuffed in her cunt as she cried out my name. Watching her fucked out eyes cry as I pushed myself up in her guts. Sensitive crazy bitch sometimes, just had to fuck her through it though... Could also be a filthy little slut when she wanted to be- but you already know that, don't you old man? Probably the only-"
Any poise and self control he had left remaining vanished within an instant and suddenly Joel had found himself transported back to the man that had survived in Boston. The softness and resolve he had come to embrace within the couple of years he'd spent in Jackson was nowhere to be seen. His chest heaved as his cold glare darkened to black. The heat of his blood ringing so loud in his ears that it tuned out everyone else in the room whilst he lunged forward in an unhinged movement, the hand of his right arm clenched into a tight fist as he smashed his knuckles square in the others man face. A ghastly crack splitting upon the impact as Lewis stumbled back into the stall behind him, just about holding himself upright as he grasped onto the bars surface to steady himself.
The vision of fresh oozing crimson trickling from his nostrils and seeping between his lips should have been enough. The sight of his now crooked nose and angry skin confirming the brutal break should have been enough... but it wasn't, not for a man like Joel. Too blinded by his own rage and the protective need to defend Ava in her absence, he couldn't see the consequences that would come with keeping true to his threat. He was far from done with the guy, stalking straight back over and harshly clasping at the chest of Lewis's shirt, the fabric balled into his fist as he brought his face down so that their foreheads were almost touching.
Lewis had made a futile attempt at forcing Joel off, a few weak strikes that did no more than bust his bottom lip as the older male grappled and held him still. Joel clocked the bottle still within the other man's grip, how he raised it menacingly with the intention to bring it down across the back of his own head. Stupid, stupid man was the thought that swirled within his mind as he stealthily swiped the bottle from Lewis's shit grasp, pulling it from his clutches within a second.
Joel held it as his side as his grip on Lewis tightened, the man's failed attempt at inflicting damage only adding additional fuel to the already blazing fire. He spat through gritted teeth, "Disrespectful cunt."
"Go on then," Lewis sneered, his bared teeth stained yellow from the blood that continued to pool into his mouth, "Don't be a coward now... make good on that threat, I dare ya! Let's see where it gets you."
At that point he should have stepped back. Should have been the bigger man. Should have contemplated the fact that by killing this man, it would only lead to his own exile and how he'd have to leave the family he'd created behind. There was no way that he'd have Ava raising his baby anywhere other than Jackson... but he was too far gone. A red flag raised in front of an enraged bull as Lewis goaded him on, challenging his capability of following through. Lewis didn't know him though... didn't know the heinous crimes he had spent years committing, didn't know that his body count was most likely higher that hot dinners consumed by this point. He'd soon learn though but by that point it would be too late...
Joel heaved the man forward, severely slamming his face down onto the oak surface edge of the bar, pinning him down by the back of the throat as Lewis coughed and spluttered. Joel remained unfazed, calculated and cold- not even an ounce of remorse seeping in as he spiralled dangerously into that mindset. The still half full whiskey bottle clasped in his fist suddenly swung mercilessly, him allowing it to come down hard with a harsh shatter just centimetres from Lewis's head. The younger man's body flinching beneath Joel's grip only served a very minimal amount of satisfaction. The sticky spray of the spilled alcohol splashed over the immediate area, sweet amber dripping from the counter top and pooling to the floor alongside the splintered shards of glass. The bottle head still clasped in his fist now all jagged and razor sharp, it's intention to cause despicable and irreversible damage as he began raising it to the vulnerable flesh of the incapacitated man's throat that resided trapped inside his firm hold.
"Fuck! I think he's actually gonna kill him!"
The voice was a hazy blur, muffled by the ferocity of his temper that had boiled and bubbled over creating an untameable scalding mess. He could barely make out the words, hardly paying mind to them let alone decipher who the voice belonged to.
The vermillion mist clouding his mind taking its time to fade as two sets of familiar hands grasped ahold of his shoulders, attempting to haul him off of Lewis's now trembling form. His irrational mentality still very much being pumped by the adrenaline coursing through his veins fought the tries, hopeless but vehement attempts at shrugging the encroachers off but their grip on him was forceful in tugging him back.
"Joel! Shit!... You're gonna fucking kill him! Can't let you do that!" It was a recognisable strained voice that growled into his ear.
"JOEL!" and suddenly he was able to place that familiar drawl to Tommy. The only voice other than Ellie or Ava that would be capable of snapping him out of a mental state such as this.
That's all it took for Joel to relent. His breath aggressively panting whilst his crazed glare cleared a small amount as he glanced over to Tommy. Both him and Rich acting as a human barrier as both men stared wide eyed at the man before them.
Joel dropped the bottle head to the ground, his focus glued to the floorboards as his face continued to twitch from the exertion. He could now sense every eye in the room spotlighting him but he dare look. The dregs of his fury gritting from his teeth as he shook his head, his hard stare only lifting to meet Tommy's, "I ain't done with him."
"Yeah you are." Tommys tone arrogant as it was authoritative, his stance firm and unwavering as he blocked his brother, "How many goddamn times do I need to tell you, brother? You get one chance here. It don't matter if you're blood! Now go the fuck home so I can clear this bullshit up."
—————————————————————————
Ava's evening had been much less eventful. A last minute decision to invite Maddie over for a long overdue girls night. The pair of them snuggled beneath the burgundy threadbare throw on the couch, one that was usually draped over the cushions and a classic chick-flick, 10 Things I Hate About You , playing on the television. She had tried to persuade Ellie to join them, an opportunity declined as the teen slinked out of the front door. A more tempting offer elsewhere, it would seem.
Maddie had bought over a bottle of red which ensued a slight panic as the blonde desperately tried to scramble for an excuse on why she couldn't have any. She meant it, she didn't want anybody knowing yet. She'd hide her pregnancy right up until birth if it were up to her, but that just wasn't realistic- not when her stomach was beginning to swell already... She settled for a passing comment of feeling out of sorts, something that Maddie seemed to contently accept without any further prying.
The pair nattered between themselves discussing everything and anything; how Carlos had proposed to Gemma, how Mr Bamber sadly passed and of course the ever so hot topic of Darla having a suspected affair with Eric from the vegetable stand. The chatter eventually fading out as they became heavy lidded, sleepy eyes focused on the screen.
"Their outfits are so cute..." Maddie mumbled lazily, her head tilting towards Ava, "Why did the apocalypse have to destroy all of the cute clothes?"
The moment the brunette enunciated her last word, the front door swung open. The partition whooshing as it cut through the air audible to their ears before it slammed back shut with a heavy bang that vibrated through the walls.
The two women shared a knowing look, one with a mixture of concern and apologies. That very clearly wasn't a happy enthusiastic entrance into the home and the pad of boots stomping into the kitchen were far too heavy for it to be Ellie.
Maddie grimaced as she began to peel herself from the couch, "That sounds like my cue to leave..."
"I'll walk you to the door..." Ava sighed airily, folding the throw back into a square before squeezing down the power button on the television remote. Her mind already trying to make a guess on what had changed her husbands mood so quickly, he was more than fine when he left earlier that evening... A falling out with Tommy, maybe? They had both been drinking...
The blonde bid her good nights to Maddie along with an apologetic smile, gently closing the front door behind her and flicking the lock. Gingerly she padded towards the kitchen, lingering in the archway as she focused on Joel's broad figure braced against the counter with his back to her, his shoulders slumped and head dropped.
"Joel?" Her voice soft as she alerted him to her presence.
She could see him visibly taking a deep breath as his form straightened and turned to face her. Her eyes widening and brows pinching at the sight of his busted lip, all red and angry. His expression was an odd thing to describe, mostly apathetic but there was something else in there that he was trying to hide... affliction?
"Jesus... What happened?" Ava gasped, all previous cautions long forgotten as she rushed towards him. Worried eyes searching the rest of his face for any further damage, he winced beneath her touch as her thumb grazed over his bottom lip for a better look.
She watched how his brows furrowed, his head weakly shaking from side to side as his jaw feathered, grunting his response whilst making as attempt to pull away, "Don't matter- t's nothin'."
Her fingers clasped around his arm, tugging him back to her before forcefully dragging him over to the dining table, pulling a seat out for him and asserting her authority on the matter, "Nuh-uh, sit."
Surprisingly he obeyed without any immediate protest, his body slumping down into the wooden chair with a huff. Ava moved towards the sink, pulling a clean cloth from the cupboard before wetting it beneath the faucet.
"Nothing my ass..." She grumbled whilst moving back towards him, she stood between his thighs before crouching down to his level. Instantly noting how his scowl seemed to focus on anything other than her, "You've split your lip. Something must have happened..."
The grinding of his teeth and reluctancy to provide any details didn't fill her with any comfort. She sighed once more, taking a light grip of his chin then pulling him to face her. She kept her expression soft as she delicately dabbed the warm dampened cloth over the abrasion, the crimson soaking in and staining the white material blood red. She could feel his eyes on her now, perhaps almost remorseful as he allowed her to tend to his wounds.
He huffed, wiping a palm down his face, "I..." he shook his head before landing his focus back onto his wife, "Just had one too many to drink, someone said the wrong thing and it turned into a bit of a scrap..."
"Who?" Ava pried, her brows raised and hand falling onto her hip.
It took him a second to respond, already anticipating the reaction. They'd talked about this, how it was best just to let the bloke make his comments and ignore them, how what he says doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things because they both love and trust one another... but what was said tonight- there couldn't not be a retaliation. "...Lewis..."
The blonde straightened back to her full height, expression exasperated, "Seriously, c'mon... we talked about this.... How bad?"
The eye contact broke once more. Honestly, he couldn't currently confirm the physical state of the other man... all he did know was that if it weren't for Tommy and Rich, they would already be talking about Lewis in the past tense and his own ass would have been thrown straight out the front gates. He couldn't tell her that though and so he didn't answer at all.
Her concerned stare didn't falter, "Is Maria gonna be knocking on the front door in the morning?"
"He had it comin'..." Joel grumbled, fingers tapping on the tables surface.
Ava couldn't control the disconcerted breath that slipped from her lips, her eyes dancing up to the ceiling, "Joel... you know how this place works. If you get kicked out, then what? We can't raise a child out there..."
Damn right she wouldn't be raising his baby out there. She would be staying put, in this very house but now wasn't the time for that blow out. He'd cross that bridge if he comes to it. Instead he sighed, wrapping his arms around her middle and pulling her into him. He pressed a kiss to her stomach before glancing up at her, "I'll fix it baby, I promise... I just couldn't let him get away with it this time, not with what he was sayin'."
"What did he say?" Her voice small as she carded her fingers through the loose greying curls on the back of his head.
Another thing he wasn't willing to tell her. She'd mentioned the reasons why she so desperately ended things with Lewis. Apparent blurred lines that she felt uncomfortable bringing up... That was only confirmed in the way he spoke about her tonight. 'Just had to fuck her through it,' The words making his own skin crawl and blood simmer once more... She'd be mortified if he gave her the details, "You don't wanna know, darlin'. Nothin' at all nice..."
There was a moment of silence as she wrapped her arms around him, his nose resting just beneath her rib cage as he pressed his lips to her clothed abdomen once more, "I couldn't let him get away with it this time. He crossed a line n' it's my job to defend you, Ave."
She held onto him that little bit tighter. I was nice to have someone so fiercely protective over her, someone that not only loved her tenderly but constantly had her back, even when she was absent.
Ava pulled back, a meek smile to her face whilst settling herself down onto his knee, her head lulling to rest in the crook of his neck. His face shifted, noses intimately brushing before allowing their lips to lock in a gentle kiss. An act so delicate and soft compared to the brutality he proved earlier.
"Does this mean I get to beat up your ex's if they ever show up in Jackson?" She asked, a small grin tugging at the corners of her mouth.
Joel snorted, fingers grazing over her cheeks to tuck the loose hair behind her ear. "I love you with all my heart but if Tess were still here, she'd eat you for breakfast if you tried such a thing."
She giggled, body relaxing back into him, "Hmm okay... someone else then..."
His chuckle reverberated through his chest, "How many ex's do you think I have?"
"Oh come on, cowboy. You're not fooling anyone..."
"M'serious. I didn't really do relationships before outbreak. Too much hassle with tryin' to raise a kid as well. A few dates here n' there, yeah but shit, couldn't even tell you what they looked like now." He explained.
Ava rolled her eyes playfully, a taunt to her smirk, "Oh I see, 'dates', huh?"
"Shut up." He grinned almost boyishly, "I'll let you beat the shit outta Louise, how's that?"
The blonde pretended to ponder on the idea, "The woman who abandoned her own daughter... deal." She snuggled herself in, a hesitancy to her voice, "You didn't kill him, did you?"
Joel pressed his lips to her forehead whilst almost cradling his wife within his hold, he let out a deflated sigh, "Unfortunately not... Made sure he understood his place, though."
"Good."