Die For Me
"Why should I die for you?"
The school ceiling looked at me, they were blue, even though I was sure they were white.
Here, in this school, in the darkness of this night, I sit, watching blue cardboard meet plaster join ceramics. In my hands, this paper, bears many burdens, bears many hopes, bears many disappointments, suffering, bitterness, sadness, death.
"Did I write this?" I lowered my head, hitting it on the table
"God.." I said softly
I raised my head, looking at the classroom ceiling which was an uneasy blue gradation.
Plink
Tears fell
I opened my eyes..
"Why am I alive?"
Plink
"Why?" Sob..
Plink
"You could have taken my life during that earthquake, right?" Sob.. sob..
Plink plink
"You could have taken my life in that bus accident too, couldn't you?" Sob...sob...sob
Plink plink plink
Sob sob sob
"Why make me lose everything? Sob...sob"
Plink plink
"What do you really want to do to me?" sob sob sob
Plink plink
Sob sob sob
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Sob.. sob.. sob
"HAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAA"
I shouted loudly so that God would hear my screams, so that He would immediately end my story. The echo of my screams echoed throughout the school.
I cried loudly, my hands tightly gripped the paper I was holding, crumpling it until it was no longer shaped...
I am angry
I'm sad
I'm vengeful
I'm fragile
I'm tired
I'm excited
I want to die..
"Lord.."
"Help.."
"Clean me.."