༄｡°
For the first time that day, Shi Qingxuan finally managed to score some quality time with He Xuan (which was the entire purpose of the project in the first place!) Xie Lian and Hua Cheng had already finished their dinner, and now they had run off to god knows where, leaving her all alone with the man she had been pining after for months now. It was not like Shi Qingxuan was complaining.
He Xuan was still helping himself to his nth serving of pasta and Shi Qingxuan found herself refilling her wine cup over and over again.
"Y'know," already heavily drunk, she slurred over her words, "we make a good team, you and I."
He Xuan swallowed and looked at her emotionlessly.
"Right, but slow down on the drinking."
" 'M glad I partnered up with you," she leaned back on the chair, nuzzling her face against the soft cushions and making herself comfortable. He Xuan thought that she looked like a cat, a really cheerful and friendly cat. "It was fun. I don't really like your friend, but working with you was fun."
At her words, He Xuan's fork froze midair. He turned towards her, his gaze curious. Shi Qingxuan was absent mindedly twirling strands of her dark hair around her finger, the other hand clutched the wine glass that had her lipstick stains all over it. Her white blouse contrasted deliciously with her wine flushed cheeks and she looked absolutely gorgeous. Her eyes were lowered and her long lashes almost brushed against the underside of her eyes, casting shadows on her cheeks. He Xuan was filled with a sudden impulse to brush his thumb just below her quivering lashes and against the soft, delicate looking skin. Would her eyes flutter open, the blue hue of them twinkling with mischief? Would she reciprocate his touch with teasing ones of her own?
Startled by his own thoughts, he hastily hid his hands away beneath the table, his veins straining slightly against his clenched fists.
Oblivious to his inner turmoil, Shi Qingxuan yawned widely. A small pink tongue peeked out before tugging back in behind her teeth. Her wide eyes crinkled around the edges and teared up sleepily. He Xuan almost broke character and smiled at the adorable sight.
Okay, what the actual fuck?!
He shuddered at the thought. He Xuan could not remember the last time he had smiled genuinely. And yet, he now found it increasingly difficult to maintain his trademark detached, straight face. This seemed to happen a lot in her presence. His usually aloof countenance always crumbled and softened ever so slightly in front of Shi Qingxuan and Shi Qingxuan alone.
As a general rule, his fellow classmates always avoided partnering up with him. Despite being quiet and studious, he was not your typical nerd who would meekly comply and personally complete everyone's part of the work. People knew better than to mess with him, the infamous Black Water. And no one had ever called him fun. If anything, Hua Cheng often said that fun died around him. That one still stung He Xuan a little.
Yet Shi Qingxuan, the sister of the man who had wronged him, always seemed to behave the exact opposite of everyone else. While the others would nervously avoid his eyes, she held his piercing gaze all the while beaming in that annoying (read: breathtaking) way of hers.
Not a day at the campus started without Shi Qingxuan's 'good morning, He Xuan! How are you today? ' or the occasional 'I read your paper on so-and-so, it was really good as usual! Well done He Xuan!'
While such overly familiar behaviour was unwelcome, He Xuan had to grudgingly admit that it was tolerable when Shi Qingxuan was the one doing it. Since when had she become so special ? The thought honestly scared him, so he acted cold and indifferent towards her, as he would have with anyone else. But in his defense, what else was he supposed to do? For one, he still did not know how to feel about her involvement in the incident with Shi Wudu. Second, he simply was not used to feeling seen or heard.
When he tried imagining his day without her cheerful interruptions, he was not surprised to find that it would feel empty and bland without her. Shi Qingxuan was like a force of the nature, strong and unrelenting and impossible to ignore. He Xuan had tried to, and failed miserably. He was a weak man in comparison, easily carried away by the winds as if he weighed nothing.
Partnering up with Shi Qingxuan for the project, and spending time with her for the past few days had turned out to be a welcome change. Her juvenile behaviour, as irritating as it was, was like a balm that soothed the ache of loneliness which often tormented him. Which was perhaps why he subconsciously gravitated towards her, longing to be soothed and comforted. But He Xuan would rather die than admit to something like that! Hua Cheng, the devil in disguise, had noticed his slight change in behaviour, and teased him mercilessly about his 'dates with the Shi sister'.
"It— it is not like that," He Xuan had slammed his aquatic encyclopedia shut as he glared at Hua Cheng.
"You never voluntarily hangout with anyone unless you have ulterior motives," Hua Cheng quirked his eyebrow in that annoying trademark way of his. He Xuan briefly contemplated shaving the offending eyebrow off. What a sight that would be, one eye covered and the eyebrow of the other missing!
"And judging by the way she is texting you, it is easy to guess what exactly that motive is."
"Why the fuck are you reading my texts you fucking creep!" He Xuan said, feeling genuinely unsettled. Suddenly struck by an idea, he continued. "Also, I do have an ulterior motive. It is all a part of my grand revenge plan."
That bastard Hua Cheng actually had the audacity to look bored of a conversation that he started in the first place. "Oh?" he yawned, exposing his sharp, feline canines. "And what exactly do you plan to achieve?"
"Easy, her brother dared to switch our places and land her my seat back in high school. So I will sabotage all of her projects to get back on her."
"..."
"I will delete all the pictures that we take for the photoshoot!"
"You," Hua Cheng actually looked at a loss for words, "are the biggest fucking idiot I have ever seen. And I've seen a lot."
.
Now that the photoshoot was actually done, He Xuan was not going to delete the pictures. For one, Hua Cheng would actually kill him. And two, Shi Qingxuan seemed genuinely so proud of herself and... AS IF THAT MATTERED AT ALL! No, He Xuan was just not particularly in the mood for revenge, yes. Come to think of it, deleting photos did not sound very intimidating. He resigned himself to come up with a better plan. Somehow, he couldn't bring himself to think about revenge when Shi Qingxuan sat right next to him.
Thus, he did what he was best at— distracting himself from his complicated feelings by stuffing himself full with all sorts of food.
"I'm done," he declared to no one in particular, pushing his empty plate away from himself.
"I'll get the bill then," Shi Qingxuan languidly sat up straight and stretched her hands. A waitress noticed their signal, and hurried over with their bill. She had been eyeing He Xuan the entire time and she eagerly jumped at the opportunity to approach him. When she reached their table, her eyes flickered between the two of them, and she smiled in satisfaction when she noticed the tell tale distance between the two customers that suggested that they were no more than mere acquaintances.
"Was the food to your liking, sir?" she ignored Shi Qingxuan's existence entirely and batted her eyelashes coquettishly at He Xuan. Unfortunately for both Shi Qingxuan and the waitress, He Xuan was unbelievably dense when it came to matters of the heart.
"Yes it was," He Xuan said indifferently. When he noticed that she was still looking at him, he smiled in a polite, and fake way that he specifically reserved for unimportant strangers. Next to him, Shi Qingxuan's eyes widened, then narrowed.
"Can we have the bill, please? " Shi Qingxuan's smile didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Ah yes," the waitress still had her focus trained on He Xuan, and she slid the bill in front of him. Shi Qingxuan scoffed. Before anyone else could react, she stiffly fished out a wad of notes and stuffed it in the little booklet.
"Both the food and the service was incredible, keep the change."
They left the dumbfounded waitress and walked towards the exit. He Xuan noted that his usually noisy and talkative companion was much more somber than usual. Of course he was grateful for the silence, but it still seemed unsettling. Out of the corner of his eyes, he watched as Shi Qingxuan fuddled with the hem of her blouse, her full lips were pouting and her brows were pinched together in worry. He Xuan's fingers trembled with the impulse to smooth her upset brows.
"What's wrong with you?" he asked. Though the question was seemingly directed towards Shi Qingxuan, He Xuan felt that it would be more accurate to ask that to himself .
"I... back there," Shi Qingxuan peeked at him from below her long lashes and bit her lips, as if she was hesitating over her words. He Xuan was momentarily distracted by the action, his gaze lingered on her worried lips for half a second too long, before snapping back up to meet her eyes.
"Yes?" in his attempt at nonchalance, his voice came out colder than he had expected. Shi Qingxuan flinched.
"Haha it is nothing. It is just that you are such a gloomy person, I have never seen you smile at anyone before haha. Was that waitress too pretty to melt off that cool exterior of yours?" Shi Qingxuan laughed as she teased him. But something about her tone seemed off.
"Is that all what you think about?" He Xuan grumbled and walked faster, leaving Shi Qingxuan slightly behind him.
Indeed someone had almost melted his stoic exterior, someone who was too pretty and adorable for him to not be affected. But it hadn't been the waitress who did that.
"Smile... You never do that with me," Shi Qingxuan whispered, barely audible over the noisy chattering of the crowd. He Xuan continued walking, never once turning back to look at her.
The distance that they had managed to close a little, widened even more than it had before, stretching continuously under the strain of all of the misunderstandings that bloomed between them.
🌻
Xie Lian didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
His newly formed theory that Hua Cheng was the same little kid who he had once met years ago sat heavy in his mind. Associating that shy teenage boy with the confident and alluring man in front of him made his head swim. It further complicated the vague feelings of attraction he had been feeling towards the man the entire day.
The faithful meeting had taken place on a late winter night eight years ago.
Xie Lian had been a bubbly and energetic young man who had just turned eighteen. The young man in question was the very image of a sheltered and naïve youth who knew too little of the world's oddities and suffering. Being the only son of his ridiculously rich parents, it was no surprise that he was endlessly pampered and doted upon.
He was rich enough to get his hands on anything that he desired, and he was talented and capable enough to succeed in whatever career path he chased after. But the young man had a dream, something that even his parents' fortune could not grant him: He wanted to save the common people.
As a child, when he boldly declared his ambitions in front of others, they would always laugh and pull his cheeks. Having such noble sentiments at that age was not rare after all. Xie Lian's feelings, however, did not change, even when he grew up and became an adult.
Instead of treating himself to an expensive vacation during his break from college like his friends had, Xie Lian found himself in a run down, little orphanage. The entire place was shabby at best, but seeing how generously Xie Lian had donated to their funds, renovations would now not be a problem.
"I will be staying here for a month, I would love to interact with all of the children!" Xie Lian addressed the old lady who ran the orphanage. "I apologise, for I will be imposing on your hospitality."
"Nonsense! You are welcome to stay for as long as you like! We cannot thank you enough for your help, Mr. Xie," the old lady smiled, the corners of her eyes crinkling.
"Oh please ma'am, call me Xie Lian!"
"You are such a fine young man Xie Lian," the old lady chuckled, then sighed as she looked out of the window. "There is no lack of beautiful people in this world, but to find someone who has an equally beautiful soul is very, very rare."
Xie Lian felt extremely embarrassed for being praised so heartily, but he was also touched.
"There is one child I must warn you about," the old lady continued. "We only recently took him in. He is a... bit troubled. Teenagers are usually difficult to deal with, but his case is extreme. I did not want to overwhelm him since he just got here, so I left him alone. He has a tendency to get violent, so I thought I should warn you."
"Oh?" Xie Lian's heart ached for the boy. The violent ones were usually neglected and scorned upon, and understandably so. Never receiving the help that they needed, their behaviour only got worse. And thus, the vicious cycle of self-destruction never ended.
"What is his name?"
The old lady hesitated. "I... don't know."
Xie Lian blinked. "Huh?"
"He has refused to speak at all since he came here, and we don't know anything about his background yet. He says that he's an orphan, and he was picked up by the police when he beat some grown men up in the streets."
That was quite the story. Xie Lian carefully stored the information in the back of his mind for later, and put on his usual smile to greet all of the children. He had bought boxes full of little gifts and trinkets for everyone. The smiles of the kids when they received their little presents, were contagious. Only a mere ten minutes had passed, yet Xie Lian found himself laughing alongside the children. He already felt attached to all of them.
Most of the kids were young, being in elementary school at most. The scarce few teens did not warm up to him as easily as the younger ones did. They accepted their gifts with a quiet thank you and walked back into the shadows.
Xie Lian carefully scanned their faces. Seeing how they were conversing amongst themselves, he ruled out the possibility that the boy who he was looking for, was among them.
A small girl tugged at his sleeves, demanding his attention. Xie Lian smiled softly and turned to indulge her.
.
There was a beautiful meadow a few minutes away from the orphanage. Xie Lian had discovered it accidentally.
He stared of by randomly walking in any direction that showed the best signal. It had not even been a few hours away from home, but he was missing his parents already. And spending time with so many orphans had made him anxious to thank his parents. He wanted to make a call, but the breathtaking sight of the meadow once it came into view erased all coherent thoughts from his mind.
He had always loved flowers, it was a trait that he picked up from his mother. Back at home, he and his mother maintained the most beautiful garden where flowers blossomed all year around. It was one of the places he missed the most after moving out to college. The untamed and wild greenery of this meadow, though so different from his garden, had its own appeal.
Xie Lian was sure he had a big, stupid smile plastered on his face as he entered the meadow. He spent a long time examining all of the flowers and humming appreciatively as he took some pictures. He would be sending them to his mother, and Feng Xin and Mu Qing, though the latter two likely wouldn't be much impressed by it.
He felt something soft and furry scurry past his ankles, and he let out an undignified squeal.
Rabbits! At least a dozen of them! Xie Lian watched with utter delight as the bravest one of them inched forward, its pink little nose twitching adorably as he sized Xie Lian up. It seemed that he had passed the test, for the rabbit hopped forward and let itself be carried up by Xie Lian. Before he could even pet the little fluffball, all of the rabbits hopped towards him and surrounded him from every side.
"Ah! Ah okay calm down I'll hold all of you!"
Alas, the lone human was inevitably overcome by the army of bunnies. Being a seasoned martial artist did not help him at all. They constantly pounced at his feet, tickling him so much that he fell down, all the while laughing heartily. He rolled around the grass with his hair in a disarray, his clothes dirty and he was sure that grass and flower petals sat stuck on his hair. Xie Lian didn't care. He was in heaven.
That was, until he noticed that he had company. A scrawny boy in his teens sat huddled at one corner with his back pressed against a tree. His dark clothes almost camouflaged him perfectly, which was why Xie Lian had failed to spot him in the first place. His features were difficult to make out, half of his face was wrapped up in bandages that covered his right eye. The other eye was a deep, obsidian black. It was blown away and opened so wide that the boy looked positively dumbstruck. His mouth was hung open too, and Xie Lian wondered sadly if he looked so weird that the boy reacted that way.
Feeling extremely embarrassed, Xie Lian sat up straight and cleared his throat slightly, trying his best to look dignified. He was pretty sure that he had failed, seeing that a flower fell down his hair as he sat up, and he still had at least five bunnies hopping merrily on his lap. Oh well, it was better to look silly than threatening. The boy froze at his movement. His earlier soft expression had vanished, he now looked tensed, as if he was preparing himself for something. Xie Lian's hurt squeezed painfully. This was the boy that the old lady had spoken about.
Xie Lian stood up to dust himself, and walked towards the boy. He acted oblivious to his very obvious flinching.
"Do you mind if I sit in the shade with you?" he asked him, as gently as he could.
The boy continued staring at him as if he was transfixed. He blinked once, seemingly snapping out of his daze, then nodded as he averted his gaze. He shifted to make space for him, and Xie Lian took that as good sign.
Xie Lian was careful to not sit too close, but he was close enough to speak comfortably with him.
"Is the network here always so bad?" he frowned as he asked, his tone conversational. The boy looked at him, his gaze still wary. The lack of answer did not bother Xie Lian. He was very much used to making one sided conversations with Mu Qing after all.
"Ah well, it doesn't matter. This place is so beautiful, I can hardly complain about the lack of network!
"You...," the boy rasped, sounding as if he had not spoken for days. "Are you from the orphanage?"
"Technically no. I am a college student who is currently on a vacation. I have some spare time on my hands, so I decided to help out here."
"You came here voluntarily?" the boy said, sounding incredulous. Xie Lian laughed at that. The boy's eye seemed to widen again, staring at him in wonder.
"Why's that so bad? I met up with some of the children and all of them are absolutely adorable! Plus, didn't I get to discover such a beautiful place by coming here? I think I am very satisfied with my decision."
The boy still looked a little dazed, but he attentively listened to each of his words.
"Gege—" the boy started to say but then flinched, before freezing up in fear. He looked up, seemingly horrified at how Xie Lian would react to the overly familiar address.
Xie Lian's smile was broad and genuine. "Go on, this Gege doesn't mind," he teased.
The boy looked shy and he struggled to continue.
"Does... G-Gege really like flowers? And bunnies?"
Xie Lian laughed loudly again, lightly clapping his hand against his thigh. The boy seemed to relax at the sound, his shoulders were not that taut anymore. and there was even the smallest hint of a smile on his lips. For the first time someone was laughing kindly with him, not cruelly at him.
"Ah, I suppose earlier I must have made quite the sight! A full grown man rolling around in the ground with bunnies in his hands! How silly!"
The boy shook his head vehemently, looking visibly distressed.
"nogegelookedbeautiful," the boy mumbled incoherently.
"What?"
"I said that the flowers and bunnies look beautiful!"
"I agree," Xie Lian said, looking amused. "Speaking of which, one of them is behind you."
The boy yelped as one particularly fat rabbit pounced on his lap. It sat facing its back to the boy. Its tiny pink nose twitched as it made itself comfortable on his legs. The boy looked at Xie Lian helplessly. Xie Lian only smiled encouragingly.
"It is a compliment to be liked by animals. They have sharp senses and they don't warm up to just anybody," Xie Lian said. "You must have a very kind and gentle heart."
The boy's head shot up towards Xie Lian. He blinked, trying to shake away the mist in his eye. Xie Lian had no way of realizing just how heavy the impact of that sentence had been on the poor boy, who had rarely heard words of kindness before. As if on cue, the rabbit turned around and poked at the boy's stomach with his nose.
"Oh, it has red eyes!" Xie Lian said suddenly. The boy froze, with the look of absolute terror on his face. But Xie Lian was not paying attention to him. He tickled the rabbits with his finger and nudged the boy.
"This is very rare, especially for one out in the wilderness!"
"Is it not creepy?" the boy's voice was bitter. "Disgusting, even?"
"Stop that! You will hurt its feelings!" Xie Lian chided playfully. He inched closer, scooping up the rabbit and nuzzling his nose against its soft fur. "It is beautiful! Look how adorable he is!"
At that, the boy's eye twinkled meaningfully. The conversation flowed smoothly after that. Xie Lian refrained from asking too many questions, especially not anything related to his background or the orphanage. He let him decide the flow of the conversation, and went along with it.
"You never told me what should I call you." Xie Lian said after a while.
The boy chewed on his words for a moment.
"Gege can call me San Lang."
"San Lang," Xie Lian smiled. "Nice to meet you!"
🌻
"Here you go," a soft, gentle voice brought Xie Lian out of his reverie. The voice overlapped with the one in his memories, only it was much deeper and more confident than before.
"Ah," Xie Lian blinked, undoubtedly looking as dazed as he felt.
Hua Cheng bent his knees slightly and lowered himself to level their faces together, all the while the bells in his boots jingled pleasantly. To think that Xie Lian would have to strain his neck so much to look up to San Lang now in the future!
The soft breeze lazily blew against Hua Cheng's shoulder length hair, and Xie Lian had to resist the urge to comb his fingers through his dark and unruly tresses. The sharp lines of his features made him look cold and harsh, but the tenderness in his eye and the softness in his smile made his countenance the gentlest to behold.
He held two popsicles on either hand, the frost dripped down his long, pale fingers and the little droplets ran down the length of his strong, lean forearms.
Xie Lian had seen many beautifully sculpted bodies in the martial arts studio where he worked part time, but something about Hua Cheng's physique was especially pleasing to the eye. Despite having broad shoulders and well toned muscles, his tall height made him appear leaner than he actually was. His waist was surprisingly tiny and he had long, strong looking legs. This slender build further emphasized his adorable, youthful air. And then there were those rock hard abs that contrasted perfectly with the aforementioned carefree youthfulness.
"Gege?" Hua Cheng prompted. Though his tone was still gentle, there was an unmistakable mischievous twinkle in his eye. He looked smug having caught Xie Lian staring at him yet again.
Xie Lian cleared his throat and graciously accepted his popsicle, acting as if the one who had been caught checking Hua Cheng out for the third time that day hadn't been him.
"Is there something on my person, Gege?" Hua Cheng's brow quirked up. He casually leaned against the wall of the ice cream shop, his shoulders crossed together. The bulging biceps and triceps made concentrating on his words difficult. "Is there a reason why you are looking at me like that, hm?"
Xie Lian did not know whether to laugh or cry.
So sly, San Lang! You are just fishing for compliments!
"No, it is just that San- Hua Cheng has such a nice build, I am impressed," Xie Lian said truthfully. Hua Cheng slipped ever so slightly from his place against the wall.
"Ah the wall is slippery," Hua Cheng mumbled in a low voice then cleared his throat. "Gege, please continue. You were saying something about my build?"
Xie Lian was stunned at the man's shameless fishing for compliments, but he found his shy reactions adorable. He resisted the urge to pull his cheeks.
"I teach martial arts, so I am very much knowledgeable in these kind of things. Are you interested in it too?"
"Really? Gege, that's impressive!" Hua Cheng's awe seemed sincere, and Xie Lian basked under the rare attention.
"There was a time when I myself learnt a little bit of martial arts. But that was when I was young. I couldn't really pursue it later," Hua Cheng said as he concentrated on eating his popsicle. "The person who taught me was extremely skilled, I greatly admired him back then. Still do. Which is why I hold such a high regard for martial artists."
"Really?" Xie Lian's curious expression was completely fake. He knew who this 'extremely skilled martial artist' that Hua Cheng spoke about was. Himself! He had been the one who had taught the kids of the orphanage martial arts after all!
"He Xuan and Shi Qingxuan must be worried, we have been absent for far too long. Your friend would be especially upset if he finds out that we went to eat ice cream without him!" Xie Lian said, trying to divert the conversation from the risky terrain.
"That free-loader is no friend of mine," Hua Cheng said unsurprisingly, as the two began walking back towards the restaurant. "But I have to say, spending time with Gege here was more pleasant that all of my past interactions with those two combined."
"Sa- Hua Cheng!" Xie Lian slapped Hua Cheng's shoulders with no real force behind it. He was smiling so fondly that Hua Cheng internally screamed and cheered at his success.
At this point, it was more than certain to Xie Lian that Hua Cheng was San Lang. Clearly, Hua Cheng had recognised him long ago too, but for some reason, he made no efforts to remind Xie Lian about their past shared history.
San Lang had been the kid with the obvious crush on Xie Lian back then, the entire orphanage knew about the young boy's affections. The current Hua Cheng also had been flirting with him nonstop.
So that noble, gracious, special someone that San Lang spoke of earlier tonight is... me?!
All of the dots smoothly connected, and pointedly answered that yes, this man has liked you all these years! Can't you see it?! He's not even subtle!!
Xie Lian felt greatly honoured to be held in such a high regard, though he could not help but feel that he was undeserving of such sentiments. Hua Cheng was truly the finest of men, he deserved much more and he was capable of attracting that 'much more'.
Despite only just having been reunited with each other, Xie Lian felt an undeniable spark ignite deep within him, and each second spent getting to know the man only fanned the flames to burn brighter. He may be inexperienced when it came to romantic matters, but he was not an idiot. He had never particularly been interested in anyone, but he somehow instinctively knew that he was into men. He had been confessed to, by both of the genders, more times than he could count, and he had never felt anything other than indifference towards those people. This time though... it was different.
So this is what it feels like to have a crush?! Xie Lian wondered giddily.
Xie Lian still thought that it was a little weird associating the man in front of him with the kid from his memories.
It felt... wrong! There technically were no issues. Both of the men were in their twenties and their age difference was only five years, so there was nothing wrong, right?!
There was another matter to ponder about.
His feelings though sudden and intense, were definitely not strong enough to classify as anything other than a small crush— yet. He found Hua Cheng attractive and he enjoyed his company, but that was all. A beautiful bond had already been developed, but it would take many more meetings and actually getting to know each other for the tender bond to blossom into anything meaningful.
That being said, that certainly was not the case for Hua Cheng. Xie Lian could see that the younger man's feelings were way stronger than his own. After all, Hua Cheng had eight whole years to let his crush marinate and develop into something much more intense! To lead Hua Cheng on, when there was such a difference in their feelings, and when Xie Lian himself was not very sure of his own recently discovered attraction towards the other... was just wrong.
Therefore Xie Lian had to tread cautiously, and not respond to Hua Cheng's flirting carelessly. He owed him that.
Xie Lian's thoughts were messy, and his head started to hurt.
Lost in his thoughts, Xie Lian remained silent the entire way back and concentrated solely on finishing his popsicle.
Hua Cheng took his distraction as an opportunity to drink in the view of the man he so ardently liked.
The slight furrow of his smooth and elegant brows. His long lashes that fluttered oh so delicately. The gentle curve of his nose, the soft brown hue of his beautiful eyes, the slant of his sharp jawline and the pointed jut of his chin.
Unfortunately, Hua Cheng was not able to appreciate the finer details of the handsome man in front of him. He was too preoccupied battling with his... inner demons, so to speak.
What had started off as a completely innocent peeking at his beloved's face, soon turned into sinful ogling. But Hua Cheng was only a human after all, he couldn't help himself. The way Xie Lian's flushed, plump lips stretched around the popsicle sent shivers running down the man's spine. Noticing Hua Cheng's intense gaze, Xie Lian cocked his head to one side and looked straight into the taller man's eye.
"Hm?" he hummed curiously. The almost obscene smack that followed after Xie Lian pulled the popsicle out of his mouth made Hua Cheng clench his fists tightly. He really had wanted to take things slow, but each moment spent with Xie Lian was like adding twigs to a campfire, and its flames were ever growing and all consuming, burning away all of his rational thoughts. It did not help that Xie Lian's lips were all plump and shiny from the popsicle, Hua Cheng oh so desperately wanted to cup his face and kiss him silly.
He wanted to run his fingers through his long, soft hair and pepper him with soft and chaste kisses. He wanted to trace his every curve and line and worship his body like the devout believer that he was. He wanted to wrap him up in the softest of blankets and pull him into bed with him— only to spend the entire night listening to him talk and laugh, memorizing each word and sound forever. He was mesmerized by the man, he always had been, ever since their very first meeting. He was absolutely weak to his charms, and he could only surrender to his one and only beloved.
He oh so desperately wanted to kneel on one knee and confess his desires. His desires to become Xie Lian's and Xie Lian's alone.
He wanted spoil him rotten as his, boyfriend and as his lover.
And oh, Hua Cheng wanted so much, all of which he did not, and would not ever deserve.