'Is it normal to notice the enormity of everything and just go blank.' Amy M. Homes.
season 2, episode 8
nebraska
day 71
How many gallons of blood has the Earth soaked up? Enough to fill a lake, or maybe the ocean? Years and years of war and suffering had to have pained Mother Earth that she had to do something. A punishment or a blessing, Sadie hadn't known.
Not that it mattered. The sunlight was still beautiful as it scattered through the crooked branches and leaves. Birds hopped between the trees above Sadie. They had families and the trees were their home. Bugs lived on the trees, on and in the ground at peace.
They weren't bothered by the change in the food web, they lived as if it were any other day. They just were.
Sadie thought maybe that's what humans were supposed to do. They were just supposed to be. They could live without destroying the Earth. Destroying each other or other animals was a part of nature as a means of survival but destroying their home? What was the point in that?
She laid in the center of the cluster, gazing at the sky through the leaves. This is all she wanted to be, all she wanted to do. Maybe the end of the world was a blessing.
"What do we do?" Alyson's faint voice inquired. Her voice cracked which was unlike her. She would appreciate the way the world looked from Sadie's eyes; she wouldn't have a reason to cry.
"We get through the day," Isaac answered, nearing Sadie. She met his eyes as he crouched beside her. His face was soft and without stress, almost like when they were younger and dumber. "We'll get through today?"
She smiled gently, allowing him to grasp her hand with his. Calluses no longer existed on him, only tender hands that weaved her thick hair into braids. "We'll get through the day."
In a blink he was gone, but Alyson still lingered like a ghost, contained in one spot until she was freed. Sadie thought she had freed Alyson, but she guessed she only brought her into a new prison.
Sadie turned, observing Alyson without her knowledge. She rarely kept her hair down, but she let it envelop her face at that moment. With her eyes glued onto the grass, her body relaxed.
She could experience the world the way Sadie was. Alyson could just be.
Sadie had never known of a time where Alyson's face was gentle and pure. Not in photos, not when she smiled. There had always been a sort of roughness to her.
She deserved to be soft.
Sounds erupted from the Greene's house, startling Alyson. Her first move was to check on Sadie. Only she was watching the sunlight.
People rushed inside and out. They were louder than any other thing in the world.
They covered the natural noises of the world. The way the wind brushed against the branches, causing them to shiver and shake. A leaf or two would fall softly to the ground. Winter was coming.
"What's going on?" Alyson asked someone who exited the house.
"Beth collapsed," Lori said. She paused, stepping towards Sadie. She only knew from the sound of a leaf being crushed. "Is she okay? What's wrong with her?"
A sigh came from Alyson. "I don't know. She should be fine-Isaac says she'll be fine but-where's Hershel?"
A thought came to mind: how beautiful would the ocean sound now? Without people crowding the beaches, without boats clogging the seas. Waves crashing onto the land would be like a lullaby.
"I need you to get up, Sadie," Alyson stated, towering over her. She covered Sadie's view. "Please, get up."
Sadie turned over, gazing at the lushish hills that glowed green. She imagined waist-high flowers growing as she ran through them. She would lay with the flowers, watch as the bees pollinated them, pausing to rest on her to say hello.
"Sadie," Alyson said again, this time sitting in front of her. "Beth passed out. Hershel's gone and Isaac went after him with Rick and Glenn. I...I need you to get up."
But she didn't want to get up. Not yet, not now. She closed her eyes for a few long seconds. When she opened them, Alyson was gone. All that was around her was nature.
Back in the field of flowers, Alyson's head eclipsed the sun. A glowing ring surrounded her head like an angel. She smiled as brightly as Sadie imagined an angel would do. The green in her shimmered without the need of sunshine; Alyson was light reincarnated.
Oftentimes Sadie wondered how reincarnation worked. Isaac told her about its connection with Buddhism, and how he viewed it. If she could pick what she became in her next life, she would be a tree. Before she probably would have picked a worm, or flower, but now trees wouldn't be touched by people. They could spend hundreds of years growing, never to be touched with such roughness as they were before.
She would house generations of birds, watching as they were born and watched as they died. She would be a place for animals to store food for the winter. She would be something that lasted forever.
How great would that be?
Her eyes looked up, finding the sun had moved, causing its rays to fall elsewhere. She rose to find where but noticed Lori instead. The woman was dressed in a thick coat, carrying a map in between her side and arm, as she messed with a gun. Lori didn't like guns but understood that they needed them sometimes. Why would Lori need a gun if they were fine?
Were they no longer fine?
Lori, alone, entered one of the cars. She was alone, with a gun and a map. What was Lori doing? She was pregnant and had a child.
Sadie glanced at the spot of sun just a few feet away. It called for her, and she yearned for it.
The sun would fall and rise again, meeting her in this very spot again. She didn't know if she would be able to say the same for Lori if she let her go.
She knocked on the passenger side window, signaling to Lori to unlock the door.
"Oh, sweetheart, what was going on? Are you okay? We should get you inside, you need to eat and drink some water," Lori stated, unbuckling her seat belt.
"Are you going after Rick?"
Lori stopped her movement, meeting Sadie's eyes. She opened her mouth to let out some excuse for being in a car, alone, with a map and a gun. But nothing came out.
"I don't think it'll be a good idea to read a map and drive. I'll come with you," Sadie claimed, climbing into the passenger seat as if everything was normal.
The woman thought about it before nodding. She reached over and pulled out a dead leaf from Sadie's hair. "You stay in the car, no matter what, okay?"
"No," she argued. "If you and Rick get hurt or worse, who will be there for Carl?"
The two shared a long, painfully silent stare before Lori admitted defeat. "Fine. But you stay right next to me."
Sadie smiled, taking the map into her hands. "Deal."
Sadie quickly realized she had no idea how to read a map. All the lines went in different directions in different colors with different numbers on them. It took her at least five minutes to find what street they were on, only to lose it when she searched for the town.
"Why did my Geography teacher think it was such a bright idea to skip map reading?" she groaned to herself, forgetting that Lori could hear her.
"Hand it over." Lori motioned for her to do so with a smile she tried to hide.
"You're driving, Lori, there may not be cars but you gotta pay attention to the road!"
Lori sighed, snatching the map. She laid it against the steering wheel. She flipped it over. "You're on the wrong side. This is where we are, and this is where we need to-"
Sadie glanced up at the road, spotting a walker crossing the street. "Watch out!"
Lori let out a gasp as she swerved to the right of it. The walker was already attracted to the sound of the car and moved towards it. Lori drove into it, sending the walker into the windshield and over.
She tried to gain control of the car, stomping into the brakes but it didn't work. The car drove into the ditch, sending the car upwards. Sadie shielded Lori and her face as the car flipped over a fallen branch.
Dwindling sunlight shone through the broken windshield as wind blew against the car. For a moment everything was still. For a moment, Sadie just was.
Shadows devoured the road, crafting an endless nothingness without form. The moonlight blended with it, softly illuminating upon the wreck.
Flipped on its side, the aged car had no way of alerting of its troubles. It could only flash its emergency blinkers; click, click, click, click.
The crickets found it to be a metronome for their melody. Chirping the same notes like a broken record. But the being with a determination to feed clawed at the windshield that cracked in the shape of a spiderweb, producing its own song.
Dissonance troubled the unconscious mind of Sadie Fontaine. She no longer fell prey to her concussionness that spoke of dreams that were just that: dreams. She only fell prey to the walker on the other side of weakened glass. Gnawing at the cracks for its price.
Her eyes fluttered open. A faint yellow glow scattered around the vehicle. It was too small to be in sunlight, too insignificant. She closed her eyes.
She wished to turn over to search for the sunlight. Agony refrained her body from doing so. A groan escaped her chapped lips. Where was her sun? Where was Alyson?
The walker groaned, pushing harder onto the glass to reach its meal.
Its meal opened her eyes.
Sadie had met the eyes of death before. They haunted her dreams; they stalked her from afar; they craved to ruin her. Everywhere she turned, those eyes followed. Darkness that only gorged insatiably.
She had faced the eyes of death once before.
There's a reason why Sadie Fontaine still stands.
Blood followed the sculpture of Sadie's nose bridge, falling at the hands of gravity. Below her, Lori laid an unconscious victim to gravity, bleeding against shattered glass.
Click. Click. Click.
Her first instinct was to inhale, to breathe and ensure she was alive; she couldn't become a ghost. All Sadie could release was a strangled gasp.
The next instinct was to scream, but nothing came out.
Hands flew to her neck. Shadows crept around her vision. Gravity forced her against the seat belt made to protect her. Any attempts to free her esophagus failed. Stupid safety buckle. With every shift of her neck, her protection held her down, almost becoming as dangerous as a knife. The more she fought, the seat belt fought back, restraining her hips against the seat.
Any hope of disabling the safety mechanism dwindled.
Lori gasped as she awoke, being the lucky one out of the two. Her eyes forcefully shifted from the walker to where Sadie was supposed to be.
Suppressing her reaction in fear of the walker was difficult for Lori. She pushed against the agony that rang in her head and bones for Sadie.
As darkness devoured Sadie's sense of sight, she began to fall.
Slamming her torso against the driver's seat, air forced its way back into her lungs. The overwhelming amount of air that entered her seemed to counteract the nearly crushed esophagus. She gasped from the back seat, hands comforting her bruising throat.
"Are you okay?" Lori frantically whispered; her hands attempted to guide Sadie's head over the seat to face her. She winced from the weight of the teenager, attracting the walker.
Still chugging on air, Sadie nodded.
Her body cried for her to stop, to stay still, to relax. Tears pricked at her eyes. Yet her hands reached for the broken passenger window. Glass stabbed her palms. Sadie gripped harder and tears turned brutal against the chilling air.
Lifting her frail body in the predicament she was in was easier than her attempts in gym. She climbed out, staying on top of the door.
She reached out for Lori, who was scrambling away from the walker. Its decaying skin tore against the glass shards. It felt no pain, all it wanted was to ravish.
"Lori!"
The woman clasped onto the girl's bleeding hand, pushing herself up with her legs. Doe-like eyes that she gifted to Carl and would be given to her unborn child pleaded to live. With all her strength, Sadie pulled Lori up, digging dented metal into her abdominal skin.
With all its strength, the walker got ahold of Lori's leg.
The sudden pull startled her and Sadie. Lori slipped out of Sadie's grasp, falling back onto the glass and into arm's reach of death.
Sadie's strained attempts to attract the walker failed. She slid off the car, cutting her abdomen as she reached the ground. She had no experience killing the dead, nor did she want to. There was no time for her to contemplate what might remain in the dead.
Lori's screams filled the night.
Grabbing the walker by its legs, Sadie yanked it back. The glass trapped it from moving any further, but Sadie fought. She pulled and pulled and pulled, until the walker came out.
No longer with a gluttonous desire to eat, but with the blinkers switch drilled into its eye-socket.
Click. Click. Click. Click.
They were alive.
Sadie stabilized herself using her knees, inhaling deeply from her stomach. Discomfort grew with each exhale, churning slowly. "Jeez."
Lori busted out the trunk. The easier way out for a pregnant woman. Once her feet found stable ground, she tried to catch her breath.
"You okay, Lori?" Sadie moved towards the woman before her vision fully cleared. The blinking yellow lights bathed her figure and her shadow. No. The light curved around the second shadow. It moved, nearing Lori.
Involuntarily, Sadie flung herself at the shadow. Shoving it into the bumper, her forearm pressed against its bug-infested neck. Blood saturated her sleeves.
It snapped at her with rotted teeth. Dead eyes drunk on hunger bore into hers. There was once life that lit up those eyes. Her canvas lost grip, aiding the walker. It resisted her hold.
Rather it be interested in her than Lori. Rather she died than Lori.
"Duck!"
As told, Sadie ducked.
Blood sprayed the girl. Not a single part of her was clean; she was tainted. Alive, but tainted.
She stumbled backwards onto her ass. A rim clattered on the asphalt. Blood and guts sloshed atop of Sadie's shoes. Dirty brown became red; not to mention her socks were now soaked.
After Lori triple checked Sadie, assuring that all cuts and scrapes were her own and not caused by the dead, she scolded her, "You could've died doing that!"
"It was going to kill you," she argued back in a hushed whisper. Her eyes glued onto Lori's abdomen. "You can't die."