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"Hey! Wake up."
As soon as he heard your voice calling out to him, he pried open his eyes to see you in a flustered state. Once you see him awake, you grab his arm and pulled him quickly, he was suprised. Your touch had always been gentle, but this time it is harsh and frantic.
"Come on. There's people, i'm scared.." you mumble and dragged him far away from your usual spot as beads of sweat appeared on your face. You passed through thick trees and crashed through pebbles and grass that served nothing but as a nuisance to you.
You hated this.
When you awoke at the sound of heavy footsteps, hushed whispers of armed men you were quickly terrified. The mere thought of your safe haven being crushed by them brought nothing but hatred that settled in your blood.
Maybe it was the effect of the prolonged isolation that you both experienced, maybe it was the twisted infatuation that you have over this grime situation that served nothing but a traumatic experience for the both of you. Yet the mere thought of being the only two, and the thought of having someone completely depend on you was too sweet to ignore.
You tried not to reminiscence at the familiar scenery that brought memories of the past few days with him.
The specific river where you both hunted for fish, the tree where you both had always rested under, and the grassland where you found him.
It was all such a sweet memory for you, to experience a bond that was formed so deeply in a matter of such a short time was something you had never expected to experience after the supposed tragedy that was your 'death'.
Now in moments like this, it didn't make sense at all, how you're able to continue on living with a healthy body with no signs of the incident in the past, or how you opened your eyes to find yourself in the remains of what's supposed to be a plane crash.
To you, this didn't seem like purgatory anymore.
It was more of a second chance of living, a reincarnation.
Alas, you had no time to think before you hid under the roots of a big tree where you both had played hide and seek in before, shushing him up as you shakily covered your mouth to keep quiet. It was quiet in midday, the only sound you could hear was the sound of crickets and the wind blowing the leaves.
You didn't realize that your mind has now entered a different state from reality,
"It-it would be okay.. it would be fine.." you comforted him, yet it sounded more like you're comforting yourself. You're on the verge of tears, but you didn't even know it.
You glanced upwards, peeking from beneath the roots to stare at the looming trees, as if it was mocking you and your pathetic attempt to flee from what was destined to be your fate. You took a deep breath and tried to calm your nerves, the boy beside you stayed quiet as he gazed at your frantic state. Noticing him, you tilted your head and looked at him, and he lifted his arm and gently brushed away the tears that had fallen from your eyes. Staring in each other in silence, your lips trembled as you released huffs of breaths from how panicked you are right now.
"Hey.. i've never told you my name right?" A bit rushed, the words spilled out of your mouth in a hurry.
You had not wanted it to end like this, for all you know this would be the last time you would see eachother.
Everything felt right but was wrong at the same time. The sky is high up the sky, so blue and bright, yet when you glance upwards there would be a cumulonimbus cloud looming over you. The scent of wood and the petrichor lingered, but there was still a hint of rust and iron.
You faltered for a second,
"My name is (Y/N)."
And he looked at you with the same silent gaze of a dead man.
"Stop looking at me that way." You wanted to say, yet you stayed silent.
"(Y/N)," he mumbled slowly,
"(Y/N), (Y/N)..." Again, and again. And this time you nod slowly at him.
Your name rolled slowly from his mouth, as if he was testing how it would sound from the tip of his tongue. It was so heartwrenching that you could cry.
You hummed, "i wanted to know yours, but it would be impossible."
"How about i give you a name?" With a crooked grin, you awkwardly chuckled. He stayed silent, as always, and looked at you with an empty gaze.
The sadness sits heavy in your heart, you hoped the men doesn't discover you both. You hope those men no longer directed their attention to the crashing site.
"Your name," you whispered softly
"How about, Jin?"
He casted his gaze downwards towards his hands, his eyes holding a jaded look in them,
"Jin." He mumbled softly.
You give him a smile, and yet it turned into a grimace as quickly as it came as the sound of heavy footsteps settled near you.
All hope was lost when you heard them approaching the both of you, and with a heavy heart you pulled him again. And you flee, you ran towards no destination, you ran with the intent to discard everything. You ran with his hand clasped tightly against yours in a frantic mess.
You ran until you are caught by those men. And the last thing you saw before you blacked out was the sight of an enraged boy with his eyes wide with desperation that held his open hand in an attempt to reach over you, and his mouth opened slightly to scream the only thing he had known to cherish,
He had called your name.
__________
You smell the scent of gunpowder.
It was strong, and there was a faint smell of metal and rust.
Where are you?
You pried your eyes open and looked at your surroundings, it was small and humid. Your eyes are half-lidded from the pain, yet you are not alone, you can sense people outside the tent that you're in.
Constantly trying to see where Jin is, you didn't notice your breathing had quickened and your lips has started to shake.
It wasn't until familiar arms wrapped itself around your frail body from behind and the scent that you're used to invaded your senses that you stopped your ongoing breakdown. Relieved beyond any means, you turned around and wrapped your arms around him in a tight embrace, your body shaking in the meantime.
He is here. He is safe.
Satisfied with this knowledge, you gripped his shoulders with more strength than you realized, and he reincorporated the gesture. You listened to the outside world as you basked in the comfort of the hug,
"They found them when they investigated that plane crash from a few days ago? And those unconscious kids were the only survivors?"
A gruff voice spoke not too far away, and you tried your best on listening to them.
"I guess so." Another replied,
"But why did they bring them here? They even treated their injuries."
"It seems like they're planning on having them participate in the training. There are a lot of people who get dragged in here without knowing anything anyway."
You widened your eyes a bit, training?
What kind of sick joke is this?
The voices continued on, it was voices of men way older than you are.
"Haah.. how is some kids supposed to endure training?" A voice exhaled and spoke,
"Even experienced people can't take it and die off." And another replied,
"This place doesn't care about that sort of stuff."
You opened your mouth to speak, but was defeated by a deep voice interrupting you.
"If you're awake, get up."
Before you knew it, you're both are held up by the scruff of your shirt and thrown outside the tent. The blinding sun burning your eyes as you both attempt to adjust to your surroundings. You saw men clad in military uniforms, looking at the both of you.
You were forced to go into a kneeling position in the dirt, gritting your teeth as you stared at the man in front of the both of you as he smoked and looked at you coldly.
"The boy seemed to be still unable to function mentally. The girl seemed normal." A man spoke, and the buff man in-front of us replied back,
"It must be the after effects from the crash," he crossed his arm and looked down on us
"It doesn't matter, have them both participate in the training starting today. They need to earn back the medical cost."
"Yes, sir." Both of the men looked down and the man with his arms crossed suddenly bore a sickening grin,
"You both would've died there without us anyways,"
"So it's no loss on your part."
They walked away, and the man continued on speaking for the last time, "If you're lucky, you might even be able to endure it."
You were shaking in anger, whilst Jin was still silent beside you, his eyes empty and holding a far away look as he was still not adapting with the change of environment and sudden appearance of new people. He was overwhelmed, and it would be lying to say you weren't the same.
"Hey, kid."
Glancing at the voice, you felt yourself getting picked up by your hair, and you see Jin getting kicked by a boot on the neck. You chocked slightly from surprise and clawed at the hands that gripped your hair, it was painful, but you were more worried about Jin than yourself.
"Let me go!" You kicked your leg backwards onto what you were hoping was the person who was holding you in the air, and you heard laughter from both of the men.
"If you're new, you need to go through hazing.." The man had still not remove his feet from Jin's neck,
"What are you gonna do if you can't even survive the hazing?" The one holding you replied, now pulling you higher up, your roots screaming in pain from being pulled.
Tears prickled your eyes from the pain, but you blinked them away. "You're young, and you seem physically unwell." He mocked, "if you can't endure it, you're gonna die."
Having enough, you eventually opened your mouth,
"And you're old and dying, yet you're acting like coward by bullying children." Your voice was tainted with venom as you threw your hands behind you and clawed on the man's face, hearing a growl of pain before you were thrown harshly on the ground beside Jin.
The man looked at you with an annoyed gaze before raising his legs, you prepared yourself and brought Jin in your embrace to shield him from the incoming attack. You closed your eyes and prepared for the pain, yet nothing came except the man's pained howl. You opened your eyes in shock and look at the sight of the two men laying on the ground in pain, you looked in-front of you only to see an older girl with white hair that was neatly tied into a pony tail looking towards the men in anger.
Your eyes widened at the sight in front of you, and you tightened your embrace.
"Wh-what are you doing all of a sudden?" The man exclaimed in shock,
"You guys piss me off." She said with a snarl and clenched her fist,
"What?"
"Why would i need any other reason?" At her response, the men all gritted their teeth and rushed away from the location.
She glanced back at us, and you gazed at her eyes with the same intensity as you shielded him away from any prying eyes.
"Get a hold of yourself and get up, if you don't want to die." She turned towards us, and stood in-front of you.
"Didn't you hear me? I said get up." She said with a frown, but you still looked at her in silence.
"What the hell?? Do you not understand me or can you not hear me?" She exclaimed angrily before holding both of us by the scruff of our shirt, you weakly winched a bit in surprise when she grabbed you both in the air and took you back in the base.
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A few days passed, and it did not go easy on the both of you.
Training was grueling and gruesome, it was tiring and you felt like you wanted to die.
You laid under a tree a bit far from the camp silently, it was night out and you sneaked outside often to organize your thoughts.
You realized a few things during your stay here,
First, your theory of purgatory had been scratched off from your list. Rather, it seemed to be a weird case of a transmigration, or maybe reincarnation.
"What a joke." You mumbled silently as you cover your eyes with your arm.
The only thing you like in this place was meeting Jin, you had grown fond over him in a short period of time and you view him as someone you cherished deeply, sometimes even more than yourself.
You closed your eyes and you dived into your memory.
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It was the 8th of April.
The city you resided in was crowded, it was filled with strangers that walked past you, busy with their own respective lifes.
It was a shame, even whilst you were surrounded by this many people, you had failed on feeling less lonely than you were before.
What does it mean to life a fullfilling life?
The thought etched itself into your mind with each passing day, hours, and seconds. It never left the deepest part of your mind, itching constantly as it resembles a monster that tries to pry it's hands to open your subconciousness and take over your mind and body.
You passed by a glass building, reflecting the citizens that passed by it. Yet you could not recognize yourself in it. You were an artist, yet you cannot fanthom the shape of your nose, your eyes, nor your face clearly. You painted thousands, yet you weren't able to distinguish your face clearly.
People often find in you to be a great actress, a great clown, a great artist.
A great person.
Yet you find yourself staring back at someone so inseffurable to ever exist in the world, you found yourself gazing back at someone with the most hatred any human could bore in their eyes, someone with a deformed scowl so perfectedly hidden.
You found yourself gazing back at the eyes of a deformed head of a horse placed upon a human body.
That was what you described yourself to be.
The head of the horse stares back at you with the most infruiating expression in the world, it stared at you as if you were a fake among human lifes.
For, what human does not know what it means to life?
—
You opened your eyes, and you were pleasantly suprised by the face of the boy you had grown close to these past few days. You gave him a grin, and spoke with a relaxed manner.
"Hey, wanna lay down for a bit?" You asked him, patting the spot next to you. "If you don't mind, of course." You say, and before you could blink, he was laying down beside you with his usual emotionless face.
You blinked in surprise, before cracking a smile.
At one point during the comfortable silence you both shared, he opened his mouth unexpectedly.
"...How do you smile?"
Startled with his sudden question, you tilted your head slowly to look at him. He was staring at the sky with an empty gaze, yet you know he is looking forward to your answer.
You hummed in thought, "I don't know, it comes naturally for me" you then continued, "Why did you ask?"
He stayed silent, and you sat up after a little while, gazing down at him.
"To smile," You reached over to his cheeks,
You streched your fingers micheviously, making it dramatically wiggle as you pull off a funny face to entertain him, "Is like this!"
With a calm smile, you pointed his cheek upward with both of your pointer finger. Now his expression showcased an awkwardly unnatural smile, and it was more alike of a grimace to you.
With a cackle, you released your hand and fall back to the ground, his hand quickly shielding your fall to lessen the impact of your head touching the ground. Now your head are laying down on his outstreched arm.
"Heyyy, this reminds me back to the first day we met, you know." You say softly,
"You were laying on my arm as if you were a baby chicken!" You laughed softly with half lidded eyes.
"Now the chicken has hatched to become a beast devouring monster!~" you teased with your usual enthusiasm, him replying back with an emotionless gaze, yet you were never bothered by it.
Jin was always a quiet person, he had never complained when you involuntarily share your thoughts and stories, and had never complained with your eccentric actions.
Perhaps, it was the loneliness.
It was the loneliness that ate the both of you from the inside, both unwilling to acknowledge it.
The silence was not unbearable, to be close to someone like Jin was to expect silence in all of your interaction. It was just the way he is.
You tilt your head towards him, and you begin to open your mouth to talk about your day—or whatever it is that you could talk about.
In the deepest part of your head, the question that itched itself in your past life came resurfacing back into your mind.
You were always a foolish person, and it seems that this rot will follow you for eternity.
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