(Update: Please go to Alex Kister update 2 before reading this & go watch Foodshops' videos on the situation.)
(Alex Kister is the creator of the Mandela Catalogue series. Anybody mentioned here is not to be harassed, including Alex, to keep the victims safe from him and anyone protecting his degeneracy.)
The twitter thread I found this document in was by:
Here's the full copy and paste of the doc:
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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YwBO6haUGCKcSHBG6imFu4ox--lMK8IfE-IWYIm0Do8/edit?usp=drivesdk
Disclaimer
This can't be a defamation case.
I do not want my name to be associated with this situation and all other names will be censored (the victims are allowed to come forward if they wish to). I understand it will be impossible to hide and that's why, afterward, I will be leaving my accounts associated with this name.
Originally, I decided against talking about my side of the story especially when I promised to keep quiet, however, I feel like it is necessary to understand the context. I and several others have noticed this behavior pattern that Alex exhibits. This was dealt with in private many times before coming to a conclusion.
We have concluded that the best closure would be to warn others of this and to prevent this from happening again, not just from Alex, but from any creator that misuses their platform.
For the past several months, Alex has shown predatory and manipulative behavior. It has brought me and others a great deal of pain. We have also realized this has been going a lot longer than expected.
Everyone in this document has permitted me to use their screenshots or testimonies. All names are censored but the person can choose to publicly speak out if they wish.
My side shows Alex's empty promises and manipulation,
Alex goes by any pronouns, so in some of these screenshots you'll see "she".
The Beginning
(For most of these, there are no screenshots because Alex would ask me to delete his old phone number and some were said in person)
Alex and I would start dating in April 2023 and we broke up in June 2023. At first, there wasn't anything particularly weird that happened because everything seemed to be heavily communicated or consented. While reliving those memories, there were moments that I did find strange.
Alex would "joke" during our relationship that he would kill himself if anything we sent to each other was leaked out and that I was a spy coming to destroy his life. This is one of the earliest cases of his paranoia and I would try my best to help, but it became apparent later on that Alex has very heavy trust issues with everyone. It becomes a lot more destructive and gets in the way of his thinking process.
I would also find it uncomfortable when he would joke in a public server (with a lot of his fans) that I was keeping him alive and he would've killed himself if I didn't exist (this channel would be deleted). It becomes cemented in my subconscious to prevent him from hurting himself and to try to always keep him happy.
He would tell me that he would masturbate several times a day to my photos and messages before we opened up sexually while implying non-con fantasies he would do to my clothing if we never opened to each other. He would later on confess to wanting to wear my clothing before we opened up as well. Everything about me was sexualized heavily over time including my face, my voice, and any clothing that I would wear. It ruined the way I viewed myself and how I viewed romance.
I tried to accept that this was normal and would consent to it, but it was only after the fact he would confess these things to me. These behaviors are extremely unhealthy habits and showed he hardly had any self-control. He confessed to me (in a call) that he would have fantasies about others, especially about their clothing.
Pt 0.5
The aftermath of the breakup would strain our connection over time. Alex had broken up with me over text and mentioned he was not feeling any romantic tension between us. It was a noticeable gradual issue that our messages would mainly consist of sexting and it had less of that romantic feeling it had in the beginning. I tried to suggest activities we could do to build that connection again, but I never really got an answer for this, even when we called I felt like it was brushed over easily.
(These surviving screenshots are from when I was talking to a friend).
Pt 1
After I implied my fears of being used for sexual purposes in a relationship, Alex suggested that being friends with benefits would fit us better. I caved in because I was still very much in love with him and would have done anything for him.
Pt 2
Afterward, I had such bad anxiety because I felt extremely dumb for accepting that title after I explained that I felt like my main purpose was to give sexual pleasure. It was worsened by the fact that Alex would tell me that he considered us soulmates and still wanted to say "I love you" but it does not hold any ground when you're in a relationship. He also allowed us to explain this to our close friends. This just felt extremely careless.
I called Alex to discuss the future of our relationship which led to us officially breaking up. In that call, I also told him that it just seemed like he had lost feelings for me. He then said no, and explained the issue is with him needing help. He would try to seek help for issues about his sexual behavior and lack of self-control.
This is a recording of what I was reading to Alex that came from my notes app.
After we broke up, Alex would come, asking me to delete any messages and photos I had of him. I would automatically delete those photos when we broke up, but it is the level of paranoia that he had that would make me feel guilty for being close to him. I felt like I encouraged a horrible behavior that he had been struggling to control for a long time. I would have to reassure him for a good while because he was afraid of people finding out what he enjoyed.
Before I even deleted his phone number, we would discuss about him getting a therapist to control these thoughts and guilt. This became a lot more frequent over time and I felt like I became more of a therapist rather than a friend.
(The first messages he would send to me on his new phone would be about this entire situation)
Pt 3
I spoke up about having an issue with being seen more as a therapist rather than a friend. I felt like we had less of a connection with each other and my only purpose was to help him. It did offend me when he would come to me for reassurance but wouldn't return the same gesture. Before this, I had just vented to him and was met with silence until I started this conversation.
(These are just from memory) There would be several moments where he would be active elsewhere while I was venting or even attempting to talk to him. I wouldn't be offended if it wasn't a recurring issue. I mentioned being a rebound because I found in our old messages about him being happy that I was able to fill a void. I would feel guilty for accusing him of having malicious intent.
Pt 4
It did not feel like anything was changing afterward. There was a noticeable change between then and November when we became close again. It felt like the reason we became close again was because I was satisfying Alex's needs by giving him attention. We were also discussing what we have talked about similarly during our relationship such as clothing and fantasies.
A couple of days later, I would ask him about his search for a therapist. His response did worry me due to the fact we discussed the reasons why he should look for a therapist but he seemingly went back on his words. I understand it is not my responsibility to push people into getting help, but Alex definitely needed it the most especially when he has been struggling with this behavior for so long.
Pt 5
I would not text back Alex out of frustration because I expected the conversation to go nowhere or be met with silence. It is what I expected from him. I wasn't afraid of talking about my feelings, it just didn't seem beneficial to me if the other party was going to ignore those messages. After this message, it was silence.
Pt 6
I would do this several times when I wouldn't text him back because I didn't see a point, but it would be ironic to me when I decided to not speak to Alex, he would try to interact with me more. The only time he would accurately reply was if it was about him.
I sort of lied in this message, I was happier because I wasn't attempting to interact with him or see him on my social media. I was unable to reveal my true feelings because I believed that I was overthinking everything and I was paranoid or delusional. I was having a constant internal battle if I was a good person or not. I wondered why I had these thoughts in the first place if no one else seemingly had the same issues as I did.
Pt 7
Then he would speak about his guilt again and ask me to delete his old phone number.
I would question if he was continuing being friends with me because he was afraid, on the basis he would do this to several other people. I was paranoid that I was being kept around because I learned a lot about him.
Alex accidentally misread my messages and thought I wanted to remind him of his bad moments, but I would almost be grateful because he would reveal to me that he was miserable. He pretended he was living peacefully and was able to move on from the incident, but that was not the case. He needed to have constant distractions to feel normal and avoid guilt, essentially running away from his thoughts.
I understand he was trying to explain that my existence does not make him uncomfortable, it's the existence of those media that gives him guilt. But after all of this, he would go back to his old ways and nothing was changed at all.
These weeks of being the person having to help him erase those memories felt degrading. I felt like I was being kept around because I had these media stored. It would make me feel guilty being close to him or even dating him.
Pt 8
I put my foot down and told him straightforwardly that he needed help. I noticed the pattern of behavior he was going through and there was hardly any progress being made. It was obvious that Alex was not getting better but I could not provide any more help as a friend. Alex continuously going through this cycle gives me guilt because I felt like I accidentally hurt him.
Pt 9
He then decided to go off his meds.
Pt 10
We had another fight that was similar to the one previously mentioned. I didn't feel like a close friend, we were hardly talking, and I noticed he wasn't putting much of an effort into keeping that relationship. I want to iterate that there is a clear difference between then and later when we were actually speaking to each other.
In his story, he had talked about being his own therapist after going off of his meds. It felt like a slap to my face after conversing with him several days prior that he was continuously going through the cycle, taking charge, and hurting himself by avoiding getting help.
I don't think there is anything wrong with going off of your meds if you believe they are detrimental to your health and you do not see any noticeable progress, but Alex was not getting better. This is also not the first time he has been off of his meds. Alex is highly aware of his cycles or issues but chooses to make situations worse for himself.
Pt 11
I was insulted that he would suggest getting a therapist because "there is nothing more I can do or say" when that message is eerily similar to what I said days prior. I find issues with him saying that he isn't a big texter, it is a lie because of how we talked before we were dating and from other people's perspectives as well. Group situations were also a lie because we were in many of the same group chats or servers with different people and I would feel ignored.
The last image is me after spending time away. I essentially gave up trying to convince him my perspective.
Pt 12
Below was the catalyst for an argument in September. It was the moment I realized that I was wasting my time fighting with someone who was unable to see my perspective because he didn't understand his own feelings and refused to change.
When I discussed with Alex about seeking a therapist after wanting me to delete any media of him, he sent me a text mentioning starting a new chapter with me. I asked him later what he meant because I find it weird to drop that after we had recently just broken up and the wording seemed very vague to me.
I was then under the impression that we would start dating again. I find it ridiculous to bring that up when we were never getting back together. There were never any plans. It would make sense why I would feel even more upset that he was hardly speaking to me but speaking to other people because it did not make any sense in my head. I have explained this to so many people and they were also confused by his explanation.
Pt 13
Nearly a month later, I would ask him for clarification because I was confused. I wanted to believe that I was overthinking and that it was my fault for not asking for more details or not assuming it was just about being friends. But none of this makes sense.
None of this new explanation would have ever been known just from the previous explanation he gave me. We did discuss it, you just seemingly gave the worst explanation. Again, I find it ridiculous to bring up not being mentally ready to be in a committed relationship after we had recently broken up. I wanted to pretend that this was okay but after conversing with my friends about what happened between me and Alex, I wasn't overreacting. I was being emotionally hurt whether intentionally or not.
This was officially my breaking point.
Pt 14
Alex is unable to understand my feelings. It just didn't feel like the same person that I was in love with months prior. These explanations did nothing but put me in a constant mental loop. This wasn't normal behavior and it would be a nightmare for other people to experience this. But it seemed like I was the only one who had issues and I was alone in all of this.
It is disgusting to go into a relationship when you're unprepared for the hardship and hardly give any effort. I felt like we only got into a relationship because I gave him his attention and wants. Our relationship gradually changed over time for the worse as it became more sexual rather than romantic. While friends with benefits, I would notice that the attention was mainly focused on Alex rather than shared. Despite sounding angry, I still wanted to see some growth from him. This was someone who had a growing career but I feared it would be potentially ruined by his emotional immaturity.
I never planned on releasing this publicly because I believed it could have been fixed privately. I was extremely hurt but I saw it unnecessary to release this. I would talk to some close friends about this in private to feel less alone. Despite that, my ultimate rule that I would tell people is that this should not be public.
I finally decided to release this to show how Alex has not improved and his behavior seemed to get worse. It never felt like I was talking to an adult, I felt like I was talking to a child.
Pt 15
Nearly two weeks later, he came back to me to report that he had a therapy appointment. I understand my comment was snarky but I truly did not expect him to get help based on previous conversations and I did not want to go through the same cycle of demanding an answer.
The word miscommunication would understate how mentally exhausting this situation became and it would be a common word used to excuse his actions. It all came down to Alex's incompetence.
I predicted this long before that us not talking anymore would persuade him to get help. It made me feel weird because why did it have to get to that point and why didn't he take advantage of his resources before?
I made the mistake of continuing to be friends with Alex. I felt guilty and I felt like I wasn't giving him a chance to improve. I never gained anything from being friends with him. I don't know how we became friends again. I gave up fighting for my position and I was hoping for a change. For some reason I missed him.
I learned that behaviors can be unexplainable, especially when the other person cannot understand their own.
Pt 16
Between
There weren't any prominent moments besides this small discussion I had with him about his private story. Alex would time to time discuss his issues about frequently making friends in his community.
He acknowledged in the past that it is uncommon for creators to befriend their fans. It is quite noticeable before this situation that Alex would be very talkative with his followers. He feels a big disconnect between himself and his fans, in which, he does not feel like a creator, nor does he have a status.
It is the creator's job to understand that power imbalance when interacting with fans. A creator has influence over their fans because of their status. It's fine if a creator does develop a friendship through their own community, it's not impossible. However, it would be highly irresponsible for him to be unable to see that connection because it becomes an issue with power dynamics.
Understandably, a fan would give attention to their favorite creators and it would seem that Alex does take advantage of this later on. He mentions being aware of his issues and does nothing to improve them.
These moments are not the first time of him wanting to disconnect from his community, unfortunately, those other moments were not captured. But this includes his old Twitter deactivation and his leaving several servers in order to prevent parasocial relationships.
Pt 17 (the story was created in the summer I believe)
Alex and I would start somewhat talking again, but in those conversations that I would start, I would be usually extremely inebriated as a coping mechanism to avoid the anxiety I get from talking to Alex. I would convince myself that this was normal because I felt more happy, but in reality, I wasn't being myself. I was in another constant internal battle shaming myself for being anxious around a friend.
Fast forward to December, I started to notice how close and comfortable we were getting. A lot of our conversations were similar to how we would talk to each other when we were dating. I was getting mixed signals again. These conversations would range from complimenting each to fantasies that Alex had, including wearing my clothing or being me.
I felt guilty for having issues with Alex again. I thought I was being overreactive and that I had a hard time adapting or normalizing talking like this to friends). I convinced myself that I was the issue.
Pt 18
Our conversations were so extremely similar to how we talked before (and the way he would talk to the next person he loved). It took me so long to realize that this wasn't normal and that I was feeding into Alex's attention and wants.
Pt 19
It was playful at first but became more flirtatious over time. I had a difficult time cutting him off officially because I saw myself as the issue and thought these problems could be resolved. Something worth noting, it seemed like Alex wanted to ditch completely during our last argument and did not want to acknowledge his behavior or change.
I learned later on that he did talk to his friends similarly to how we talked but I find that off-putting when some of these people did not know about Alex's fantasies or fetishes. He later commented that he would have relapsed with his sexual behavior more recently but our conversations give off a different tone. I find that hard to believe.
Server B
Alex would sometimes leave and join back this analog server that I used to mod for. He would use it as a way to communicate with some of his fans about updates for upcoming videos and projects in a small channel dedicated to the Mandela Catalogue, similar to how Catacord used to be but on a much smaller scale. This server will be referred to as Server B.
The discussions would be normal at first with fans theorizing about the series and also asking Alex questions that he would answer. It is hard to determine when it started going off-course, but at a certain point, Alex became more comfortable talking about his gender identity with his fans.
(A small disclaimer because I feel like some people may rebuttal and mention that Alex has not formally come out yet and this is disrespectful to show this side of him. He would send these messages to a server that had 600 members during the time and dozens of fans would be discussing with him, so l'm surprised this never leaked out. Alex, later shown, would make group chats with his fans to discuss gender identity and outfits. As the writer of this document,
some of the people who were affected by him are trans as well. Alex's identity is a unique case. People should be warned about his predatory behavior.)
Pt 20
None of us saw an issue with him exploring this topic at first because we believed it was innocent. However, the uncomfortableness started to settle in when we realized this was more parasocial rather than beneficial. I did not want to ruin the fun of others, so regrettably kept my mouth shut about how I felt.
Pt 21
He would change his name in the server to Amelia as and another friend suggest. Pt 22
finally reached my limit when Alex started talking about wanting to create a group chat with some of his fans on the server. I quickly messaged Alex expressing my concern about this because I knew it would come off as weird and controversial for a creator to make a group chat with mainly minors. However. I would quickly delete my messages because they reminded me that I should not be teaching a creator what to do and reminded me of the discussion we had months ago about needing to stop making friends with fans. It meant that he had not improved.
Alex's behavior should not be my or other's responsibility. I should not be this stressed out about a person, so this made me want to stray away from Alex entirely.
Pt 23
Referring to the last image, I would, later on, find out that this group chat did actually exist at some point and was later deleted. It included some people from Server B, and it had channels where people discussed about gender and outfits. From one witness, they had posted a photo of themselves in a dress with Alex commenting things such as am so envious of how you look, wanna look like you, and am so jealous of you". This person would feel uncomfortable with these Comments.
It is perfectly fine to explore yourself, and others know that experience very much. The issue is that minors and adults have different experiences and some of these fans were pretty young (mainly between 14-17). Alex should be talking to someone with experiences around his age. This sets up parasocial relationships with fans as Alex continues to talk to them on a personal level. Your fans are not your support group and it is rare for YouTubers to be this personal with their fans. Note that no other analog horror creator does this. Alex has issues with not understanding parasocial relationships, but that is non-excusable when he is already self-aware of his issues. There is a power imbalance because he is a well-known creator with a wide audience, meaning, these fans are willing to provide you with attention because you are their favorite creator. It becomes addictive to talk to your favorite creators if they seemingly act like a friend. It is the friendliness that hides that predatory behavior and it can become incredibly difficult to detect because it makes you feel good to be able to talk to your favorite creator. I considered Alex my friend, but as a creator, you have a level of responsibility because you have built an audience. These young fans are impressionable as well.
then created a thread for the channel because I was getting a little annoyed with gender discussions and the Mandela Catalogue discussions colliding and constantly going off-track. He continued talking about his experiences and what he does in private.
Pt 24
He then created another group that we would secretly add people to. It was the same as previous chats he would make, he would talk about gender and share outfits. He would delete his messages that contained photos of himself at certain Point.
Pt 25
He made a new server so more people could join. This was also deleted at some point but few images still exist.
Pt 26
It still had the same concept. began to notice a relationship was forming between Alex and one of my friends. Alex frequently interacted with this person on that server and even brought them up in our private messages. It stood out to me because the way they would speak to each other seemed familiar to previous interactions. It would be concerning to me because of the conversation we had months ago about his issues and how he was not mentally ready to be in a relationship. We haven't spoken about his psychiatrist for weeks so assumed that he was getting better. But with his behavior for the past month, I felt like he was still not mentally ready. But there was entirely no concrete proof of them being together during that time. All I knew was that they were getting close but still worried. From my perspective, I feel like most people Would not be able to handle the fetishes that Alex had mentioned before or his behavior in general.
Pt 27
Before Alex left Server B, he publicly explained that Amelia was a joke after a member expressed they were uncomfortable that Alex shared their dead name. People who were supportive of the change would feel weird about this. They felt insulted that he would take back everything said and pretended that all of it was a joke.
Even if he was trying to avoid making someone uncomfortable, this would not be the way to do it. The conversations revolving around identity felt pointless and to claim it was all a joke feels manipulative as well. You built this type of relationship with your fans and randomly decided to take it all back.
Pt 27.5
Victim DB
The person affected by Alex will be referred to as DB. The transcript was provided by them (the transcript is read from bottom to top).
vented about Alex on a private accOunt because finally wanted to move on from everything. DB saw my vent and started messaging me about needing to speak about Alex as well. DB noticed how close they were becoming with Alex and confessed their feelings. They admitted feeling regretful about the conversations they had with Alex for the last couple of days. Before they messaged me, they had spoken to one of our friends about the same shame they felt while talking to Alex. Our friend already knew about the situation between me and Alex and tried to provide guidance by saying Alex was trouble. offered DB an explanation between me and Alex to make them feel comfortable talking about their OWn experiences.
Pt 28
Alex first started messaging them privately a week before New Year's Eve, it is extremely important to note they had never truly spoken to each other besides in Server B, but they hardly knew anything about each other. Alex did not know how DB looked or sounded. The conversation seemed to start innocently with them talking about outfits and gender identity with DB offering comfort to Alex.
Pt 29
Alex would frequently express his adoration for DB. The friendliness and admiration hides the true intent of his actions. DB was a fan of Alex and looked up to him as a creator.
Pt 30
Pt 31
If people only focused on the given consent or returned affection given by DB, it would make it more difficult to understand. This consent is superficial. With the status of Alex mixed with how long they've known each other, the power dynamic heavily comes into play. This is predatory behavior.
A creator should take responsibility in this situation and understand their power dynamic, and understand why DB would be contributing despite later feeling regretful. However, because Alex does not understand his status, parasocial relationships, or power, he feels that he has done nothing wrong and sees this as normal. This love that Alex was supposedly giving was unnatural. He love-bombed this person in order to receive his wants. Their conversation after this would heavily go into sexual territory because that's what Alex wanted from the beginning.
Also, this was all before they even confessed to each other (besides the last photo).
Pt 32
Also, creators need to understand that their fandom or community is not a dating pool (this was sent to a 16 year old).
Pt 33
After they confessed, DB would send a photo to Alex. It wasn't suggestive at all, but when Alex sent photos back, they would be a lot more suggestive. One would be showing his ass, laying in bed, and showing off his legs. Then confessed saying later on that he was hard in those photos.
Pt 34
They would talk about meeting each other. Alex wanted it as soon as possible and suggested getting a hotel. A reminder that Alex still did not know what DB looked or sounded like. I find this behavior curious because it reminded me of an old message he sent to me. While we planned for us to meet, he was Worried that we were moving too fast.. Nowhere in these messages with DB would he mention moving quickly until DB brought it up.
Pt 35
As the conversation progressed, Alex would elude into a more sexual territory.
Pt 36
Alex has a scent fetish and would specifically enjoy copying people's poses because he wanted to pretend to be them. DB didn't know at all.
Pt 37
Throughout the conversation, Alex would continue to elude into a more sexual territory by Continuously love-bombing DB by heavily complimenting them.
Pt 38
DB would express later that they felt uncomfortable with how much Alex revealed to them, such as sexualizing their outfits (that were meant to be shared in a friendly way), sexualizing their compliments, their confession, and making the server and group chat as a way to gain attention.
In a new relationship, a party may feel obligated to continue and have a difficult time saying no or expressing their discomfort because they're afraid. of disappointing the other party. Alex just wanted to get off and was moving quickly to express his fantasies and desires.
Pt 39
After they discussed boundaries, Alex quickly eluded to sexual territories again despite DB mentioning they were around other people. DB would send more photos of their prom dress, specifically where they were at prom. Alex would then admit during this that he came to DB's prom photos but later deleted them. DB started to dissociate during it as a reaction to a deleted message that Alex had sent.
Pt 40
DB and| would compare our conversations with Alex to each other and it was legitimately word for word. We both felt objectified by Alex's constant sexualization. These conversations would feel as if Alex wants someone to indulge in his fantasies. This isn't how you show love to someone.
Pt 41
DB would discuss with Alex again boundaries, feeling that they've been moving too quickly (it's been only two days). Alex should know and notice that they've been moving at a fast pace if he's embarrassed by his own messages and does not need to be constantly told what is wrong. He has no excuse for his behavior. He has not learned from his mistakes at all and is incompetent. It was never a mistake that he admitted to non-consensually masturbating to DB's photos that were not meant for sexual purposes. It was never a mistake that he continuously berated DB with constant sexual messages. It is not DB's job to catch Alex's mistakes like he's a child, especially when he acknowledged that his behavior was out of character. He would do something similar where he felt embarrassed about messages he would send to me.
(Also, this won't be the last time he will bring me up. I have no idea what the purpose of doing this is if you're not improving and using our previous relationship as false promises towards others. actually find it creepy.)
Pt 42
Lastly, DB expressed their uncomfortableness with Alex creating a server to garner attention, especially from DB. DB was also upset that Alex went back on his Words about identity because they were willing to give so much to comfort. This server and group chat were supposedly meant for friends to share outfits and talk about identities, but the fact the purpose for it was mainly used for one person's attention and photos are extremely predatory and very much premeditated. Minors were in that server for no reason. Alex exploited everyone to gain something for himself.
These conversations were hardly consensual if Alex was premeditating these types of interactions just days before they both confessed to each other.
Pt 43
Finding Out
After DB told me about their situation, recommended that they shouldn't reply to Alex especially when I could tell they were not in a good state.
Later, Alex started getting anxious in our friend's server because both me and DB were ignoring him. He then started messaging DB for forgiveness while also trying to give reasons for his behavior in his manic state (non-transcript because he edited one of the messages). Alex had time to control his behavior and prevent himself from hurting others. Alex will acknowledge his harmful behavior but then continue to do nothing. He has learned nothing from his previous situation with me. He had every opportunity to get support, but rather than actually improving, he chose to do nothing. He does not learn from his mistakes.
Also, it was extremely manipulative to find different ways to try to get DB's attention by implying he was in danger.
Pt 44
The next day, we woke up to Alex spamming me with messages begging for reassurance and an explanation. I literally could not believe this was the start of our new year.
wasn't going to explain the situation to him because there wouldn't be a point especially when he's in a state like this and would expect the same outcome from previous arguments we had. Alex would taken nothing from it. So many times while he was in this state, he admitted what he did was wrong. Why do any of us have to explain to him his own mistakes when he hasn't learned the first time?
Pt 45
While during this, he was being reassured by the same 16 year old from earlier, who had stayed up for a day straight just to make sure he wouldn't commit suicide. This entire situation made that person so stressed out that they had to seek medical help. Alex never gave him a proper apology.
(Their timezone is 7 hours ahead of EST, this was the night before he started messaging me and DB. AlexX would water down this situation as me being jealous that he was dating someone else and that was unable to move on. He assumed was trying to sabotage the relationship while it was DB that came to me. The person that DB came to about Alex.
became angry and withdrawn because I wasted my time trying to help someone who didn't listen to me at all and then decided to hurt one of my friends. Alex had the opportunity to change but continued the same cycle. He chooses to blame others to feel better about himself.
Feeling bad isn't enough to prove that you're changing nor does it prove that you acknowledge your behavior. You sexually violated my friend but thanks for making me seem like was just a jealous ex.
Pt 46
Alex had sent DB a very long text explaining his behavior and what his plans are for the future. This still does not justify anything and was just a last-ditch effort to save his ass. Alex has trouble understanding what relationships are. He is mainly attracted to people's attention, that's why he developed a crush. He also doesn't realize that he doesn't know this person whatsoever and still does not understand power dynamics or parasocial relationships. He says he is unable to process this but that is his fault for not understanding sooner and choosing to hurt my friend. He mentioned his issues with parasocial relationships several times, months before this situation. It is your responsibility as a creator to be able to handle these personal issues. don't fault any fan or DB for falling for Alex's kindness because he portrayed himself as very friendly. I was worried that I would be ruining the fun that everyone was having, but am not here to teach a creator.
Pt 47
This confirms that Alex made those servers and group chats to gain more attention from DB. This is a heavy obsession with a fan and also controlling. This is premeditated because Alex had set up this entire plan just to get with DB. It should also be assumed that it was planned to go to a sexual route because Alex admits to coming to DB complimenting him and their outfits behind the scenes.
These conversations were fast-paced and lacked actual love. This was friends with benefits with extra steps because Alex didn't want to put in any work besides sex.
Even if this was not the sole reason why the group chat was made, and there have been other group chats that have been made before, the difference between that and then is the obsession with DB and trying to calculate forming a relationship with a fan you hardly knew. And those other group chats were exploited just to give Alex attention and fuel his fantasies.
Pt 48
Alex has issues separating his gender identity from his sexuality. The sexual fetish is not inherently bad, but the forced projection onto the other party and uncontrollable sexual appetite is. He hides his fetish as well. We discussed this months before, but Alex continues this cycle of hurting himself or others.
Pt 49
We find this hard to believe because of the number of times Alex has promised to change but then does the opposite. This is the reason why we're choosing to speak about our experiences to warn fans and to prevent him from hurting anyone else. He had every opportunity for growth but decided to hurt people in the process. This behavior is destructive. Trying and feeling bad is not the same as changing. Showing growth is changing and being a man of your word is changing. If your morals were up to such a high standard, you wouldn't even be in this situation. We don't trust Alex's words.
Pt 50
After he sent these messages, he sent out an announcement to a private server with some of his friends about deleting the server or changing the way he operates online, but his mentioning that he was going to start fresh absolutely made me furious. He is choosing to run away to comfort himself while leaving the person he traumatized behind and essentially trying to hide his "mistakes".
decided to release some information into this server because I was tired of hiding everything. These were my friends as well. From the beginning, we planned to release this publicly and this was a chance to see people's reactions. I wish I didn't do it this way because it made it somewhat stressful and didn't have all of my thoughts together but it did lead to more things.
Pt 51
went to personally message Alex and told him that was planning on releasing everything. Throughout the conversation, Alex begged me to give him a chance to change. I obviously did not take it.
Alex has a sexually addictive behavior that causes pain. I was there when he told me that he was searching for a sex therapist. I was there when I asked him several times to get a therapist. forced him to get a therapist. I believed that he changed because there was nothing out of the ordinary from my perspective for months. You had multiple chances to improve, why would I give you another after you decided to hurt someone? Also, trying to manipulate me into thinking was just a mistake and miscommunication when you sexually violated my friend. I am also furious he calls this a learning experience. Thanks for the emotional damage, glad it was something you can learn from it. He then threatened me with suicide. There is never a reason to threaten someone with suicide while you're being confronted. You brought this upon yourself. Alex has made me fear for months thinking he was planning on hurting himself if showed any negative emotions. I was done allowing him to get his way. Was aggressive? Sure. Does that excuse anything he was saying? Of course not.
Pt 52
After Alex went silent, I messaged one of his friends because assumed they had his mother's phone number and was able to call her. He was safe at that point and tried to negotiate with me. agreed to hear him out because he threatened me with suicide. will always take suicide seriously but the next morning had work and was mentally exhausted. He threatened again but backed off immediately after I pleaded. hesitated about telling him that told the private server about it because was afraid he was going to hurt himself.
DB also contacted him about suicide. Neither of us wanted Alex dead.
Pt 53
Several days later, I discussed with him to get his perspective of the situation, but I saw the conversation going nowhere and this was something expected.
did get something wrong and that was the timing of the confession. During that time, I did not have the transcript. It does not disgust me any less. Also, treating the "heat of the moment" like you don't have the ability to control your thoughts while you're horny does not make you look better. You are still conscious of your actions.
Pt 54
It was silent for days, so I began to pester Alex for a reply. Meanwhile, he came back to his private server and, instead of taking the opportunity to talk about his perspective, he decided to accuse them of warning him about his status and that they were not worth his time. These people have been around longer than they have. These are people with their own lives, or even creators with their own work, or people who are VAs in the community. These are people who actually saw Alex as an equal. Even when they first learned about the situation, they never insulted Alex. They patiently waited for Alex to hear his side.
The reason your friend turned against you was because I provided them with information. They are allowed to make up their conclusions. To only give an explanation to people close to you and leave everyone in the dark is extremely childish. It makes you more suspicious.
An explanation is not bowing down to people. You had a chance to explain what you said and you decided to drop most of your best friends. To this day, Alex has not messaged any of them. (DB's message in blue.)
Pt 55
It was silent for the next couple of days until Alex sent his last message to me and DB.
This is DB's response to Alex:
The way I've been acting these past few days has been a result of your actions. I was ready to block you and cut contact, but you promised a message to me and made me wait days with no updates. When I'm reasonably angry you say you scrapped the original message you had planned for me and send me this instead. I honestly don't believe you had a message prepared for me at all. You have not once taken this situation seriously, and can tell you have never cared until it was your own career that has been threatened. "'m not going to lie like you didn't reciprocate those intimate feelings" You put me in a position in which had to because of the power you had over me. I was a fan of yours and was horrified that I was going to upset you. I was sick for several days after we did what we did, both physically and mentally. You were aware of this, I had told you this multiple times. When I went to my sister about this because I had no one else to turn to, she immediately noticed how creepy you behaved towards me and my photos, without having seen my face or heard my voice. Everyone I have talked to has noticed it.
You were the one who initiated the sexual conversation, you have admitted to this. eased into the feeling because could tell you were feeling it" Don't ever assume this in any of your future relationships. This is not how you ask for consent from a person. You were asking me to sit in your lap, which I thought was intimate but not necessarily sexual, and it was you who then talked about feeling me up and how hot I was. I already struggle with tone as someone who has ASD,
going with this conversation and wish you just stayed nonsexual. was the one asking for Consent, and you never made it clear to me what you were asking to do with me. I wouldn't have consented to everything you've done to my photos, what you've done to my messages, because you never communicated any of that with me. You got one yes out of me and took that as permission to be gross to things sent innocently, that is not proper consent.
"You admitted to touching myself already long before I was aware" didn't start touching myself until I had your CLEAR Consent. I made sure to check in with you multiple times to make sure everything
You told me you had ejaculated to my confession to you, to me complimenting you, to my photos, to me giving you attention. I do not consent to you making my very existence and word sexual. With your manipulation aside, consented to do things in that moment, yes, but that does not give you permission to do all the other things you've done.
R1
honestly wouldn't have said anything about the moving too fast thing if it weren't for my sister because I was scared of you. Because I was nervous about what you would do if I upset you. You have much more power than you think you have. I said multiple times in the period of those few days implying I was worried about the pace, you have not even seen my face in recent photos or heard my voice at that point, and you dismissed it saying you would've "loved me no matter how looked or sounded". You saw me as someone easy to have sex with and took advantage of that, it's hard to believe there were any true romantic feelings because you made zero effort to get to know me at all.
R2
I'm honestly sick and tired of you feigning ignorance and using your own paranoia to justify what you did.. Why does it only matter to you when it's your image on the line? When it's your feelings? wanted to have a relationship with you, and wanted something genuine. got none of that from you. A dog that you trained into doing what you wanted and then kicking them to the curb. I was not thinking rationally not only because of your constant love-bombing (selectively acting friendly towards me in a group of people, all the emojis on my photos and compliments, literally copying emojis would use, reacting very strongly towards my photos, talking about how you missed me when I didn't message back fast enough - all before i confessed) but because you were someone I looked up to for several years. My whole art portfolio is almost entirely art of your series.
R3
Let me make it clear, It was called manipulation because it was manipulation. The way you targeted only me and showed me affection, that is what manipulation is. And it disturbs me this was your plan from the beginning, without me knowing what your intentions were.
know what the law is and whatever gotcha moment you think that it is isn't. wasn't the one who deleted messages because I have nothing to hide. You clearly do. If you want to bring this to court, I can't stop you. But every lawyer I have talked to has audibly laughed at your claims of defamation, you do not understand how this works Alex. Don't try and silence us because you want to save face. You've proven time and time again you do not care about the people you hurt and you are not getting away with this with zero consequences. In your own words- I'm not going to bow down to you. You're not above all consequences. I don't regret what I said either, tried my best to be nice to you and I've given you more than enough chances. You've shown me your true character.
R4
This is my response to Alex.
DB came to me to talk about you because they were afraid of you. I helped DB by sharing my experiences and it helped me conclude that you haven't changed at all. I consider you a danger to other people and fans. I threatened your livelihood because don't believe a creator, that does not understand responsibility, should have a platform. inserted myself into this situation because know the most about you and many people realize how awful you truly are. truly did not care for a response and the only reason felt obligated to listen was because you threatened suicide. have shown so many people our text messages and have read it over and over again to figure out what power had over you. What disapproval? For several months I have tried to help you get a therapist and finally forced you because you weren't improving and you were hurting me.
You gaslit me into thinking your actions were normal and have caused me so much mental harm. I wanted to trust that your actions were innocent but now understand that none of this is normal. I truly believed we were able to solve our friendship but that was never going to happen because you will never understand the pain you gave me nor will you understand your own actions. The outcome was always me apologizing because I trusted you were honest.
Pt 56
did make a mistake in that conversation because assumed stuff that wasn't there (not posting this here because it is strictly no one's business). But at what point was ever trying to have power over your decisions?
There was never a point before all of this where I felt the need to release everything no matter how much you hurt me. I would only vent to my friends about it and that was it. You think so lowly of me because that's how you've always treated me. You treated me like I was always the person coming in to ruin your life, especially during our relationship.
I don't like this weird implication that there were multiple times involved myself in situations. The only time was in September and now. All other arguments we had were because I had issues between us. Those accusations had weight to them because it felt like you weren't treating me fairly.
wasn't here, no one would understand your behavior and you would've continued hurting other people. That's why I felt alone for so long because you made me feel like I was the only person who had issues with you. You are disgusting for violating my friend and for using your status as an advantage over your fans.
Pt 57
This was not a private matter. You showed predatory behavior towards your fans and sexually violated my friends.
For attention? Is that what you think I wanted? admitted to you that I did talk to them about it. was hesitant because you literally just threatened suicide. did comment a small bit afterwards but that was because they wanted to know and was unable to make a final decision because you wanted me to hear you out. anything else from that conversation because we were not done.
I decreased my hostility towards you because had to make sure you were safe because suicide was not part of my plan. I apologized to that person because he thought I wanted you dead. Everyone else thought the opposite and came to my defense about it.
I find it very weird to concept it as "a play on your friend's emotions" when it was literally the result of your actions. You decided to threaten suicide towards me and didn't take that lightly. never wanted you to die and never wanted your family to go through that.
The only contact I had with your mom is Instagram. I don't have her phone number, and will never assume social media is more viable than actually messaging a person's phone. Also, how strange if your mom actually thought of me that way when you reassured me multiple times that was one your closest friends and you saw me as a life-friend after we broke up. have helped you multiple times and you told me your darkest secrets, but for some reason am getting poor treatment from your mom. Your mom has replied to my stories multiple times, said hi to me on her live streams, and wished me a happy birthday.
was considered one of your closest friends but me trying to be friendly with her is kissing ass. Why am receiving the weirdest treatment some of your closest friends are friends with her and have contact with her. I have literally met your mom. For what reason would I be kissing ass when we were literal friends. Your mom had an opportunity to talk to me about your behavior or any concerns but chose not to. I don't have a grudge against her, but don't think this was appropriate on her part.
Those "minors" were our friends. Those messages were not out of sexual gratification, it was literally a callout against you. They deserved to know. 1 apologized to them for having this knowledge of you now because I know how heavy it is. Also, I said that I forgot to censor a person's name,
Pt 58
Stop referring to them as mistakes when you emotionally manipulated and harmed people. My reaction to all of this was extremely justified. Also, what rules? Was it me asking you to be a better person?
This entire document was not meant to contact you in any way or anyone else in your family. We are not looking for an apology because the damage is already done. You have traumatized several people in the process. We have the right to speak about our experiences with you. have included tons of screenshots to make these claims, and it has been stated if there is no proof.
Pt 59
Server A
This server was created in 2022, it was filled with young Mandela Catalogue fans. Alex would join the server and interact with them frequently before removing himself from the server a couple of months later. This Server will be referred to as Server A.
wouldn't have brought this server up if Alex had actually improved and taken responsibility for his actions, but it proves my point that he is unable to change. His actions were extremely similar to actions in Server B. Several people brought this to our attention after speaking about our experiences.
Alex developed a personal connection with this server and also talked about his gender identity and outfits. The reason for his departure was because he felt inappropriate conversing with young fans about these topics and wanted to change how he operated online to build a better image. He wanted to be more cautious about who he interacts with online to prevent anyone from leeching off of him.
He understands power dynamics, especially over young fans, and can see that conversing with these topics with them is inappropriate. So why is this still an issue to this day?
Pt 60
Alex is self-aware about parasocial relationships. In both servers, Alex would develop this relationship with his fans and then cut everyone afterward after a realization or to protect his image better. Both times he reevaluated how he talks to people online.
Pt 61
Members would be hurt by this sudden departure. Sometime later, they created a document that entailed what happened during his departure. Members would explain their reasons for being upset with Alex leaving, but it seems that the document suggested that members would explain to Alex that exploring his identity was not inherently sexual. This seemed to suggest that Alex had a difficult time removing his sexuality from his gender identity. This is a repeated offense by Alex where he feels unable to discern that disconnection and then shelters that part of himself.
He had all of this time to figure himself out and grow from his mistakes. Why should I give him more chances? This parallels his behavior in Server B where he has no self-control and then decides to suddenly change one day. If you knew you had issues, why were you sending photos to minors?
Pt 62
He would send photos to a 14 year old of him wearing a cat-maid outfit and discuss his gender identity personally. He then apologized for talking about such topics with them.
Pt 63
He advocated for an 18+ game night, asked for a face reveal, these weird ass moments of lactation and breastfeeding, and cat girl whore subliminals. am not making a claim that he groomed anyone, this is predatory behavior and taking advantage of his fans by using his status. It is off-putting behavior to do this with minors. This reminded me of when Alex sent screenshots of fans wanting to have sex with him in Server B.
Pt 64
Both servers had him discussing his alter egos. Members in Server A would try to destroy evidence of it for Alex to prevent any leak, but then he revealed this to his fanbase in Server B. He would also mention that Amelia was also an alter ego.
This experience is very unique to me and have never seen someone who would refer to their trans self as alter egos. Your identity is who you are as a person, your transition is not the separation of yourself, it is still you. Amelia would also be the third alter ego he makes, he made a second one while we were dating.
Pt 65
Miscellaneous Stuff I was unable to fit into the timeline but still needed to be talked about. This was the previously mentioned 16 year old. He would talk to them about sexual frustration and became affectionate. He had much support but still chose to talk to a minor. This is a reoccurring issue where Alex would discuss his private life with minors.
Pt 66
was discussing with DB about an outfit that Alex had sent me. They instantly recognized the outfit because Alex had sent them lewd photos of it. It was the same suggestive photos as previously mentioned.
The outfit was based on a 14 year old's fanart. He Would discuss with the minor in private about plans with the outfit. Alex does not have any self-control.
Pt 67
Final words
I want this document to bring awareness about creators misusing their platforms. Alex has treated this situation like it was nothing and acted like he did nothing wrong. He truly has not learned anything if he caused so much suffering in the process. You had to be taught about your Own mistakes and actions like a child. took so much time to myself during our arguments because convinced myself that I was malicious and was hurting a supposed friend. tried to improve as much as could, but you are in a constant loop and continue to hurt people because you truly acknowledged what you did. You know what you did was wrong. You want to act like you've changed in front of your fans when you truly haven't. You are a vile pervert.
Defamation
Each state has its own defamation laws, but generally plaintiff suing for defamation will have to show the statement was published false, and harmful to him or her. Meaning, that if the provided information that is shared cannot be proven false, then there is no case. The only way there would be a case is if the provided information was edited.
The statement must be false to be considered defamation. A negative opinion of a person will not be considered defamation because it is not true or false from an objective standpoint. Plus, many witnesses/other victims can corroborate what was said.
None of these screenshots were fabricated or altered. These statements are not just from DB or me, these were from multiple witnesses. A quote from DB's father, who is a lawyer consultant, "In general, you are more restricted in your ability to bring a defamation case if you are a public figure, such as a lawmaker, a politician, or a movie star. If you are an influential public figure about whom a damaging statement was made, you must prove not only the above elements of defamation but also that the defendant (the person who made the defamatory statements) acted with actual malice. He would have to prove we posted this document with the intent of ruining it and knew the information was false.
mentioned that did not want him to have a career anymore or did not want anyone to like him, but you must prove that was out of malice rather than anger.
I am stating that this document has a different purposeful goal. No screenshots were fabricated and tried to give as much context as could. Many of us have also tried to help Alex in the process. This was not a sudden act.
End_________________________________________
Again, stay the fuck away from this dude and please do not harass anyone mentioned here.
Also please help spread awareness by sharing this book with others. It would be greatly appreciated.