A/N
Self harm will be mentioned (non explicit)
As the warm morning light peeked through my curtains, filling my room with a gentle glow, I couldn't help but feel those butterflies in my stomach. Today was the start of my senior year, the last exciting chapter of my high school adventure. I glanced at the clock, realizing I needed to hurry if I didn't want to be late on my first day.
I quickly throw on my green cargo pants, a white top, and a vest to keep warm in the morning, because they can get chilly. After brushing my teeth and fixing my hair, I snap a photo and sent it to Lily and Alex. Grab my bag, I rush downstairs.
"Hi, mom," I say as I walk into the kitchen.
"Hi, honey," she replies, planting a kiss on my forehead. "Excited for school today?"
"Kind of, but it doesn't really matter how I feel about it. I have to go either way," I respond, grabbing some things from the kitchen to take with me. "I have to leave now or I'll be late. See you tonight!" I smile and give my mom a kiss on her cheek.
"Bye," I hear her call after me.
"Bye!" I shout as I run out the door.
• • •
Once I arrive at school, I head straight to my locker and stash away the things I won't need just yet. Checking my schedule, I realize that I have English as my first class. I'm thrilled because English has always been my favorite subject. I make my way to the classroom and open the door. There are a few people already inside, but I don't recognize anyone. I find a seat at the back of the class and settle in.
Suddenly, the bell rings, and more students rush in, buzzing with excitement about their holidays.
When everyone is settled in, the teacher walks in and I can't believe my eyes. She's the woman from the bookstore, only there's a different vibe around her.
"I'm Ms Anderson and I'll be your English teacher this year. I'm always in a bad mood so don't try anything or we'll have a problem. I'm not scared to give detention." She says, writing her name on the board. Damn her ass looks fine in those tight fitted black pants. As she turns around, our eyes meet, and I'm left blushing, not knowing what to do. I manage to give her a polite smile, but she doesn't smile back and continues with the lesson.
She leans against the desk, sleeves rolled up and hands in her pockets, and explains that we should introduce ourselves by writing down three important things in our lives or things that have had a significant impact on us, whether for the better or worse.
I write about books, music and my dog; Diva, and how they helped me get through a really tough time. I don't share all the details because it's not something I usually talk about, especially since I don't know her. I just give enough information to prevent her from failing me or asking too many questions.
Once I finish the assignment, I decide to pass some time by writing down a few lines of poetry on a separate sheet of paper.
While Ms. Anderson is making her rounds, she notices that I'm not working on the task and asks annoyed, "Why aren't you working on the assignment...?"
"It's Emily, and I'm already done with it. Here," I say with a smile, handing her the paper. She lets out a huff and takes the paper from me. No need to be so rude, I think to myself.
As she's walking away I stare at her ass, again. I know I have a problem, but it's not my fault it looks so good. She turns around and catches me, but I play it cool, making it look like I was just thinking and she smirks. Damn another thing I'm obsessed with now.
The bell rings, signaling the end of class, and everyone starts gathering their things and hand in their papers. Just as I'm about to leave, I hear someone call my name. It's Ms. Anderson.
"Emily, could I talk to you?" she says. I turn around and reply, "Of course, what is it?"
With narrowed eyes, she asks, "What were you writing on that other paper?"
"I was writing poetry." I smile trying to stay calm as she approaches and leans against the desk, crossing her arms.
Then, she playfully asks, "Was the poetry about my ass?" I'm caught off guard and don't know how to respond, but I manage to say, "No, obviously not."
With a smirk, she suggests, "Maybe try not to stare so much. You wouldn't want people to get the wrong idea."
"I'm sorry, it won't happen again."
"Right." She responds, standing up straight again and turning away. "You're dismissed."
I really thought she was going to talk about the book I gave her yesterday or at least acknowledge the fact that she's met me before. But nope, and honestly, I don't really mind, I kinda find her attitude attractive.
• • •
The day went slow, but I enjoyed being back. I'm walking back to my locker to take some things home with me and leave the rest here.
At the parking lot, I unlock my car and toss my bag on the backseat. As I'm glancing around, I notice Ms. Anderson struggling with her car. She was popping open the hood just as I'm approaching her.
"Everything okay?" I ask, as Ms. Anderson inspects the engine.
"Yeah, just dealing with this old car that only works when it feels like it," Ms. Anderson says annoyed, briefly looking up before returning her attention to the engine.
"I can give you a ride home," I say, sounding a bit unsure. "Sorry if that's weird..."
"No, actually, that would be great," Ms. Anderson cuts me off and smiled. Clearly a forced smile, but whatever.
"Awesome. My car is parked over there," I'm pointing to a black pick-up. Technically, it's my dad's car, but I use it too.
Once we're both in the car, I aks for directions and start driving.
"So... are you enjoying the book?" I ask unsure, trying to make small talk. She looks at me and sighs. "I'm sorry, we don't have to talk-"
"No it's fine. Yeah I'm enjoying it, even though I'm not that far yet. Had to take care of my niece yesterday."
"I thought the little girl was your daughter. She looks a lot like you." I smile, looking at her before adverting my eyes back on the road.
"Oh god no. I don't ever wanna have kids of my own. The thought alone makes me sick. She the only kid I can handle." She explains and I feel her staring at me. Before I could think too much about it, we arrive at her house. It's a nice place to live, and the house itself is absolutely beautiful. I hadn't expected this when I saw her car earlier.
"We're here." I say, looking her way as she's unbuckling her belt. "Will you be able to get to school tomorrow? I can pick you up if needed." I ask, feeling stupid as I do.
"No that's okay, I'll Uber. Thanks though." She smiles. And that might just be the first genuine smile today. "Thanks for dropping me off. I'll see you tomorrow Emily." She says as she's opening the door and getting out. "Yeah, no problem. See you tomorrow."
I wait until she crosses the street before I drive away. It's only a five minute drive from her house to mine, but it's worlds apart. She clearly lives on the 'rich rich' side and we live on the 'normal' side of town.
Once I'm home, I open the door and smell of Chinese food fills the air. Some people might say it's not real food, but I don't care. I love it.
"Hi, mom. Hi, dad." I greet as I'm walking into the kitchen.
"Hi, honey. How was your day at school?" My mom ask.
"Alright, I guess. Just missed Lily and Alex." I smile as I sit down at the table, filling my plate and started eating.
"Why were you so late?" My dad asks, stuffing rice into his mouth.
"Well... Ms. Anderson's car broke down, so I gave her a ride home." I say, trying to hide my slight blush by walking to the cabinet to fill a glass of water.
"Who is she?" My mom asks.
"My English teacher this year." I respond.
"Is she hot?" her dad blurted out, wiggling his eyebrows.
I almost spit out my water in surprise. "Excuse me? What does that have to do with anything?" I ask, trying to stay calm, even though both mom and dad were struggling to hold back their laughter.
"She is, huh. Got her all blushing and everything." Mom says to Dad while playfully pushing him. They both burst out laughing.
"You're both so immature. I just gave her a ride home. End of story. If you don't believe me, that's your problem." I add, shrugging my shoulders. "I'm not hungry anymore so I'm going upstairs. I'll see you later." I say to them and hop up the stairs.
It was a challenging time for me last year, but my family and I grew incredibly close. We can joke around and not get offended. They support me in every way and in everything. That's why felt comfortable enough to share my attraction to women. Just left the part out where I tell them that the women I'm interested in are often older than me, like a lot older.
Once in my room I text my friends to fill them in on how the day went. As I'm waiting for them to answer, I grab my book 'A Good Girls Guide To Murder' and start reading. It's about this girl named Pippa who takes on a murder case for her senior project and uncovers all sorts of secrets. It's got me hooked since the first sentence. My phone light up so I check it out and see my friends texted me.
Lily
I'm glad your first day went great babe!
Alex
We should go out this weekend to catch up so you can fill us in with any juicy details;)
Emily
Who says there are any?;) Where do y'all wanna go?
Lily
Maybe to that bar close to Alex because the music there is so gooddd
Emily
Alright! This Friday at 9?
Alex
Yes, great!
Lily
Yesss
Emily
Can't wait to see you omg
As the conversation is ending a make myself ready for bed and start reading again. I promise myself just one chapter, but before I know I finished the book and it's two in the morning.
"Dam It ." I whisper to myself. I lay the book away and bury myself deeper into the sheets.
• • •
It's 7 in the morning and my alarm starts blaring. I groan, hitting the snooze button and sit up. I really need to stop staying up late reading, I think to myself, letting out a sigh. I drag myself out of bed and hop into a quick shower to shake off the sleepiness. After getting dressed and doing my skincare and makeup routine, I take a moment to admire myself in the mirror before heading downstairs for breakfast. I must say, I'm looking pretty good today.
It's going to be a hot day so I chose to wear a long-sleeve summer dress.
The struggles of last year made themselves visible on my skin. Everything is healed and already fading but I'm not just yet comfortable with wearing my arms out. This dress is the perfect solution.
As I step into the kitchen, Diva eagerly rushes over to me, leaping up with excitement. She's a Belgian Malinois, and when she stands up like she's doing now, she's almost as tall as me.
"Hey, Diva! Did you have a good sleep?" I ask, showering her with pets and kisses.
"Good morning, honey," my mom smiles as she sees me. "Did you sleep well?"
"Yeah, just stayed up a little too late reading a book," I say, trying to avoid eye contact because I already know what she's going to say.
"Again? Baby, your sleep is more important than some book, alright? Don't mess up your sleep schedule because of it," she sighs and hands me a sandwich.
"I know, I wasn't planning on reading so late, but it was just too good to put down," I say, smiling.
I take a bite of the sandwich my mom gave me. Just then, my dad walks in the door. He's a doctor and sometimes has to work the night shift.
"Hey, dad," I greet him as he puts away his shoes.
"Hey, baby," he says, giving me a kiss on the head. "How did you sleep?"
"She stayed up all night reading again," my mom chimes in.
"The book must have been really good," he says with a smile. He never gets mad at me for reading late; in fact, he encourages it.
"Yeah, it was amazing," I reply, standing up and putting my plate in the dishwasher. "I should get going. Can I borrow your car again, dad?" I ask, already grabbing the keys and slipping on my shoes.
"Of course, as long as you fill it up on your way home because it's almost out of gas," he says, grabbing a sandwich for himself.
"I will, don't worry. See you tonight! Bye!" I call out as I rush out the door.
"Bye!" they both say in unison.
Once I arrive at school, I quickly make my way inside and head towards my locker. As I turn the corner, I accidentally bump into someone, causing papers to scatter everywhere.
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry," I apologize, hastily picking up the papers. As I stand up, I realize it's none other than Ms. Anderson.
"Watch where you're going!" she snaps at me, her anger catching me off guard.
"I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to," I apologize once again, handing her the papers.
She snatches them from my hand and walks away without saying another word. I stand for a second before I'm able to move again. What was that about? I think to myself and as I make my way to my locker, someone suddenly speaks to me. I turn to see a girl I don't recognize.
"Hi, Emily, right?" she says, and I'm taken aback by her familiarity.
"Yes?" I reply, more of a question than an answer. "I'm sorry, do I know you?" I ask, trying to place her.
"No, but we have English together. I know your name because you said it in class the other day," she explains, smiling. "I'm Jennifer, but my friends call me Jen." She introduces herself. She has long gold locks that are put together in a messy bun. Her dark brown eyes shine with anticipation. "Since we have some classes together, maybe we could sit next to each other?" she asks, uncertain.
"Yeah, why not." I smile, relieved to have a friendly face in class. We walk to our first lesson of the day which is calculus and even though I'm good at it, I hate it. I never really liked all the numbers and symbols, I'm much more a fan of words and books like you already know.
The second class of the day is English and for some reason I'm dreading it. English is supposed to be fun and light but with Ms. Anderson it's the complete opposite. Luckily, Jennifer and I are sitting together, and we start talking about different plays and literature. I found out that she's just as big of a reader as me.
"What's your absolute favourite book?" She asks me, and I take a moment to think. I've read so many great books that it's hard to choose just one.
"I think, if I really have to choose, I'd go with 'If We Were Villains', it's a masterpiece and beautifully written!" I answer and she smiles at me.
"That's one of my favourites too! But I think I enjoyed 'The Secret History' just a little more." She explains as Ms. Anderson walks in and starts her lesson.
"I haven't read that one yet. The length is scaring me of a little." I whisper.
"Emily and Jennifer, please pay attention! I'll only give you one warning!" Ms. Anderson practically screams. We're quiet for a while but once she turns around Jennifer comes closer and whispers, "You doing anything this weekend?"
"I'm going out with some of my friends actually. I could ask them if you'd like to come along." I smile. Jennifer looks at me frightened all of a sudden and that's when I hear someone clearing their throat. I turn around and Ms. Anderson is standing in front of my desk.
How did I not hear her coming? I think to myself.
"Was my warning not clear enough for you, Emily?" She asks and she's clearly not playing around.
"Yes it was, I'm sorry-" She cuts me off and tells me, "Detention." She walks back to the front. "She can't be serious." I mutter angry to myself. She turns around and If eyes could kill and be dead and buried right now.
"Well, I'm very serious, so you better watch your mouth, or you might end up with a whole week of detention," she says sternly, shooting me a glare. I feel my face turning red as the entire class stares at me. Jennifer looks at me with an apologetic expression and mouths an 'I'm sorry.' I wish I could just disappear right now.
Ms. Anderson carries on with the lesson as if nothing happened, and finally, the bell rings after what feels like an eternity.
The next few classes were nice, and I had the chance to get to know Jennifer even better. Turns out we have a lot in common. At lunch we go to the cafeteria and grab our food. Since the weather is nice, we decide to sit outside.
"Do you ever get hot wearing that?" She asks as she sips from her water.
"No, not really. It helps me avoid getting sunburned," I lie even though there is some truth behind it. She nods and bites into her sandwich. It's nice sitting with her. I feel like there is no judgement at all.
As we're eating I text my parents to let them know I'll be home late due to detention. They're surprised, but keeping the question for later.
After lunch we head inside and part our ways. I have History next and she has Biology.
"Good luck in detention and I'll see you back tomorrow!" she says, waving goodbye. I wave back and make my way towards the stairs. History class is on the top floor, so I have to climb three flights of stairs.
• • •
The final bell rings and I make my way to detention. Once I arrive, I knock on the door.
"Come in," I hear someone say on the other side. I open the door and Ms. Anderson is sitting at her desk reading a book with reading glasses on. Damn, those glasses will be the death of me.
"Don't just stand there and stare. Sit down and do something useful," she explains without looking up. I take a seat in the front row and pull out some paper. Since it's only our first week of school, we don't have any real homework yet.
The only assignment I have right now is from my therapist. I have to write every day, no matter what or how much. So that's what I decide to do. I'm not really in the mood for poetry, so I choose to journal instead. I write about my day, starting with this morning and how I felt uncomfortable about my arms being out. Then I write about my encounter with Ms. Anderson and meeting Jennifer. I end it with being in detention.
"Writing again?" Ms. Anderson asks, looking over her glasses. That's so hot- "What are you writing about?"
"I'm just journaling," I answer, looking up to her.
"Why would you do that?" She asks genuinely interested.
"Because I have to," I say.
"From who?" She asks and she puts her glasses on her head. These damn glasses.
"My therapist," I say and I'm really hoping she just leaves it there because I don't wanna get into it or be laughed at. I look down embarrassed and I'm not sure why because I know there is nothing wrong with seeing a therapist. She catches it and says, "Why are you embarrassed by that?" I look at her before answering, "I'm not," I say a little too defensive.
"There is nothing wrong with seeking help, so you don't have to be so defensive about it, alright," She says and this is the nicest she's ever been which makes me wonder why she's so strict and cold in class.
"I know. I'm sorry, I just don't like to talk about it," I say and force a smile out.
"That's fine. You don't have to talk about it," She replies, giving me a friendly smile. Then she puts her glasses back on and continues reading. I want to ask her about the book, but I don't want to interrupt her, so I just stay quiet.
The bell rings and I start packing up. I don't need anything from my locker, so I grab my car keys.
"See you tomorrow, Ms. Anderson," I say, walking out of the room and out to the parking. I get in my truck and put the keys in the ignition and my playlist from this morning starts playing. As I'm driving off the parking lot, I see Ms. Anderson walking down the road. As I pass by I stop and roll my window down
"Do you need a ride?" I ask her and again feeling stupid as I do.
"That's alright I'll just walk," She replies, trying to not be a bother.
"It's really no problem. It's on my way home," I say and smile.
"Are you sure?" She asks unsure.
"Yeah it's only five minutes away from my house," I reply and I see her contemplating.
"Alright then," She climbs in and puts her seatbelt on. I start driving when I remember I have to fill the car up before going home. The gas station isn't far from my house so after dropping Ms. Anderson off, I can go there.
As we're driving I can feel her staring at me. "What?" I ask, looking at her for a second.
"Nothing," She says but keeping her eyes on me.
"If there's nothing, can you stop staring at me, please?" I ask and I feel myself blushing.
"Why? Do I make you nervous?" She says in a seductive way. I look over to her and she smirks. Well if I wasn't nervous yet, I am now.
"Yes. No. I'm mean, a little. I mean, I'm sorry," I chuckle nervously, trying to just focus on the road.
"It's alright, darling," She almost whispers, sending a shiver down my spine. And I don't know if it's because of the way she said it or because of what she said. I swallow, barely getting the words out, but I manage a "We're here,"
"Thanks for dropping me off again," She says unbuckling her seatbelt. "I'll see you tomorrow, Emily,"
"Yeah. See you tomorrow miss," I say, still a bit shaken up.
I start the car again and drive to the gas station. After filling up the car, I go inside the shop and buy myself some sweets. I need some distraction because I can't stop thinking about everything that has happened, but most of all, I can't stop thinking about her. Was she flirting? Or was she just trying to get under my skin?
A/N
A longer chapter this time! Hope you enjoyed it:)
Let me know if there is anything you'd like to see!