tomorrow.
seungkwan planned to confess to wonwoo tomorrow. he didn't have anything planned. he was just going to pull wonwoo aside and tell him everything. from the moment he realized he liked him to the moment he realized it was more than like. he loved him. he just hoped wonwoo wouldn't reject him.
seungkwan laid in bed, staring at the ceiling as he ran through all of the possible outcomes for tomorrow. wonwoo could just laugh awkwardly. he could reject him in the nicest way possible. or... seungkwan chuckled quietly, shaking his head as he finally sat up. there was no need to dwell on it now. he's been mentally preparing himself for this moment for five years.
seungkwan remembers the first time he spoke with wonwoo. the older boy's family came into his shelter to adopt a dog – they did end up adopting, thankfully. while wonwoo's parents were picking out a dog, the older boy randomly struck up a conversation with seungkwan.
seungkwan was surprised. he remembered going to the same schools as wonwoo, but their paths never properly crossed. it was the same with mingyu. it was strange. how did the three of them spend their whole lives in the same small town, but only became friends when they ended up going to the same university in the city? it seemed like fate or something else.
seungkwan remembers how wonwoo started asking him about how to properly care for a dog, being very thorough with his questions. seungkwan thought it was endearing and relieving. the young boy always wanted the best for the animals in his care, and wonwoo's family seemed nice, so he was happy to hear that they were adopting. whenever seungkwan would visit wonwoo's family, he always played with solie. the dog was always so excited to see him as well.
seungkwan pulled his covers aside, getting out of bed and deciding to wash up. he needed to clear his mind of wonwoo. just because he was going to confess to the older boy didn't mean he had to spend all day in bed thinking about him.
as he got ready for the day, he felt a smile creep onto his face. he hoped things went well tomorrow. he hoped more than anything that things went well, but he knew it wasn't right to get his hopes up.
no matter what, he would accept wonwoo's decision.
the boy got dressed, drying his hair with a towel as he stepped out of his room. he checked his fridge for food, sighing when he saw there wasn't much to eat. he closed the fridge with a sigh, looking through his cabinets and coming up blank there as well.
he had half a mind to call mingyu to bring him something, but he thought the boy might be asleep. he sat down on his couch and pulled out his phone, checking to see if he had enough money to go out for breakfast. he sighed again, seeing he only had a small amount of money in his account. he was being paid tomorrow, but he didn't want to spend the little he had left on food.
well, call mingyu it is.
seungkwan quickly pulled up the older boy's contact, smiling when mingyu picked up his call almost immediately. "kwannie...?" came mingyu's voice from the other line, his voice raspy and laced with drowsiness.
seungkwan bit his lip, realizing that he probably woke the older boy up. he shook his head, deciding to commit to the bit as he said, "hi, hyung..." lilting his voice as he twirled an invisible strand of his hair. he didn't know why he was doing that, it's not like mingyu could see him. his hair wasn't long enough to twirl, either.
mingyu let out a low groan, presumably sitting up and pausing before he asked, "what do you want?"
seungkwan scoffed in indignation. "hyung, can't i call you to see how my bestest friend in the universe is doing?"
"no, not when you're using your you're-the-apple-of-my-eye voice on me."
"you are the apple of my eye." seungkwan mumbled, frowning as he pulled his knees to his chest.
mingyu sighed. "sure i am, kwannie. seriously, what did you want?"
seungkwan groaned loudly as he tossed his head back onto the couch. he sat up straight again and said, "hyung... there's no food in my apartment, could you...?"
mingyu chuckled lightly into the receiver, the sound making seungkwan smile. there was a pause before mingyu asked, "do you want takeout, or do you want me to cook for you?"
"cook for me?" seungkwan asked in the sweetest voice he could possibly muster.
mingyu groaned loudly, mumbling something to himself before he said clearly, "do you hate me? i literally just woke up."
"hyung, i love you. please?" seungkwan said quietly, wishing he was video calling the older boy so he could trick him with his puppy eyes. if he directed his puppy eyes to mingyu or even wonwoo, nine times out of ten, he could get anything he wanted from them.
there was a beat of silence. then two. then three. just as seungkwan was about to ask if mingyu was still there, eventually mingyu finally said, "i'll be there soon." and hung up before seungkwan could thank him.
seungkwan grinned widely, lying back on the couch with a contented smile. he felt like inviting wonwoo over to join them, but he knew the boy was getting ready for work at this time. in any case, he thought it was best not to see wonwoo for the time being. he'd probably end up psyching himself out if he saw the older boy.
mingyu arrived after fifteen minutes had passed, the older boy carrying a single plastic bag with him. he leaned down and gave seungkwan a quick hug, the younger boy reciprocating the hug as he thanked him profusely. the two separated, seungkwan pulling mingyu into the kitchen by his arm, presenting the room and saying, "do your magic." with a wide grin.
mingyu chuckled, holding up a finger and reaching into the bag, pulling out two plastic containers. he placed them on the counter, revealing dumplings in one container and white rice in the other container. seungkwan's face fell as he looked at the food, staring up at mingyu's expectant face and yelling, "that's it?!"
mingyu jumped slightly, smiling as he held the container of dumplings out to the younger boy and excitedly said, "they're pork!" waving them in the boy's face.
"kim mingyu!"
mingyu tried again, nonetheless. "my mom made them last night." he said with a teasing smile, waving the container under seungkwan's nose. seungkwan was unsure why. they were frozen and didn't have much of a scent to them.
"hyung..." seungkwan whined, shaking the boy's arm as he said, "i wanted you to cook for me so i could shamelessly check you out." he looked up at the older boy with a pout, placing the older boy's hand on his chest.
mingyu frowned, pulling his hand away and closing the containers of food. he placed the containers on the counter as he said, "well, i didn't have food either, so this was the best i could do." he leaned down to be eye level with the younger boy, smirking as he watched the boy scowl at him.
seungkwan groaned lowly, crossing his arms with a defiant glare at the older boy as he said, "well, are you going to at least cook them for me?"
mingyu looked around the kitchen as he nonchalantly shrugged. "i was just going to use the microwave." the older boy said, pointing at the microwave next to the two of them.
seungkwan dropped his arms and hit mingyu's chest as he said, "i could've done that!"
"well, why didn't you?"
"because i wanted to spend time with you, dummy!"
mingyu laughed, shoving seungkwan away as he said, "no, you didn't. you just wanted a free meal."
the two stared at each other for a few moments, challenging each other to see who would back down first. mingyu rolled his eyes as he reached into the younger boy's cabinet for a pan. seungkwan smiled to himself, doing a small happy dance as he sat down on the counter next to mingyu. mingyu glared at him as he placed the pan down and turned the stove on.
"don't look at me like that." seungkwan said with a pout, kicking his feet as he looked at the older boy.
"like what?" mingyu mumbled, drizzling some oil onto the pan and waiting for it to heat up.
"like you want to hit me."
mingyu turned to face the boy, pulling his fist back to punch seungkwan. the younger boy yelled, hopping off the counter and running away before mingyu's fist could make contact. seungkwan heard mingyu laughing from the kitchen, so he walked back to the room, punching mingyu softly in the shoulder as he stood next to him.
mingyu just laughed as he paid attention to the dumplings on the stove, turning them every once in a while to make sure they were properly cooking. he looked down as he felt seungkwan's arms wrap around his waist, the young boy resting his cheek on his back. mingyu let out a sigh as he focused back on the dumplings.
"sorry for yelling at you, hyung." seungkwan mumbled into the fabric of mingyu's shirt, squeezing the boy's waist as he continued to apologize.
mingyu gulped nervously, looking down as he pat seungkwan's hand. "it's fine, kwannie." he whispered, quickly turning the stove off once he noticed the dumplings were done.
mingyu paused as he was plating the dumplings, staring ahead as he felt seungkwan rub his stomach affectionately. he hated when seungkwan did things like this. it made it hard for him to act normal around the younger boy.
seungkwan smiled as mingyu turned around in his arms, a strained smile on the older boy's lips as he showed the plate of freshly cooked dumplings to seungkwan. he let go of the older boy and clapped excitedly, grabbing the plate and bringing it to his living room.
"oh, hey, what about the rice?" mingyu asked, holding out the container of white rice to the younger boy.
seungkwan came back to the kitchen to grab chopsticks for the two, smiling cheekily up at the taller boy as he said, "just put it in the microwave." quickly running away with a laugh as mingyu shouted his name.
seungkwan smiled sweetly up at mingyu as the taller boy sat down next to him, placing the now hot rice next to the intact plate of dumplings. seungkwan giggled as he saw the look of surprise on the older boy's face.
"what, did you think i would eat without you?" seungkwan asked, smiling cheekily as he bumped shoulders with the older boy.
mingyu shook his head in disbelief, bumping seungkwan's shoulder again and starting to eat. seungkwan joined him, smiling at the familiar taste of mingyu's mother's dumplings.
soon enough, all of the food was gone, all except for one dumpling. mingyu picked it up with his chopsticks, holding it out to the younger boy with a warm smile. seungkwan grinned and took a bite, grabbing the chopsticks and gesturing for mingyu to eat the rest of the dumpling. mingyu smiled down at the boy and ate the rest of it with a contented sigh.
mingyu stared at the boy for a moment. he wanted to say something, but just as he was leaning in closer, seungkwan stood up with the containers and walked towards his kitchen sink to wash them. mingyu just stared after the boy, a small frown on his face.
seungkwan put the now clean containers on his counter, furrowing his eyebrows as he felt mingyu stand behind him. he turned around and looked up at the older boy, an amused smile on his face as he said, "hey there."
"seungkwan, i have to tell you something."
seungkwan nodded, drying his hands with a rag as he asked, "what's up, hyung?" he was surprised when mingyu softly grabbed his hand and led him out of the kitchen.
seungkwan watched as mingyu stood in the middle of his living room, playing with seungkwan's fingers as he looked down at the ground. seungkwan leaned over to meet mingyu's eyes, smiling warmly when mingyu looked at him. he squeezed mingyu's hand, giving the boy an encouraging nod once he looked up.
mingyu let out a sigh, staring seungkwan in the eyes as he said, "look, i'm not even sure how to say this. where do i even start?" he chuckled awkwardly as he glanced around the room.
seungkwan just watched as the taller boy gulped and continued, "i just want to say that i love being your friend. and i have cherished the past five years with you, but.." he trailed off, looking at seungkwan and feeling himself freeze in place.
seungkwan softly gasped as realization dawned on him, pulling away slightly as he whispered, "hyung, what are you saying?"
mingyu frowned as he took a step forward and grabbed seungkwan's hands. he reached up and brushed the strands of hair falling in the younger boy's eyes, taking a deep breath before he said, "when i look at you, all i see is the sweet boy that i first met five years ago. just thinking of you brightens my day. whenever i step into a room, i always look for you first. even–" mingyu's breath hitched as he drank in the way seungkwan was staring at him.
mingyu smiled sadly as he caressed the younger boy's cheek. "even the way you're looking at me right now, like you're so sad that i'm telling you all of these things... you're the most precious person in my life."
seungkwan's expression dropped as he processed what mingyu was saying to him. he watched with a frown as the older boy took a few steps back and said, "i'm not expecting you to like me back. i just... i needed to tell you." he tried to give the younger boy the most earnest look he could muster, but truthfully, he just wanted to run away.
seungkwan shook his head softly as he took a few steps forward and said, "hyung, i don't– i–" he frowned as mingyu looked away. he cupped the older boy's face and gently turned the boy to face him. "hyung, you know i love you."
mingyu chuckled quietly, grabbing seungkwan's hands as he said, "but not in that way, huh?" he smiled as he pulled seungkwan's hands off and backed away from the boy.
"hyung, hold on–"
"seungkwan, it's fine. i didn't expect you to like me back. i just couldn't live with this weight on my shoulders any longer." mingyu let out a sigh, forcing a smile as he said, "i feel a lot better. please don't feel bad."
"how am i not supposed to feel bad?" seungkwan whispered, wrapping his arms around himself as he frowned.
mingyu chuckled quietly. "even now, you're making sure not to hurt my feelings. you're the best, kwannie." mingyu smiled sadly, turning around with one last nod before he walked towards the front door.
seungkwan jumped slightly as he ran after the boy. "hyung, you don't have to leave." he said, pulling the older boy's arm desperately.
mingyu turned around with a hopeful glimmer in his eye, smiling down at the younger boy. seungkwan's heart broke at the sight. he didn't know what to say to the boy to make him stay, but he didn't think leading the boy on was fair, either.
seungkwan coughed quietly, gesturing behind him to the kitchen as he mumbled, "you left your containers." he didn't have the guts to look up when mingyu brushed past him and grabbed his stuff.
seungkwan turned around and walked towards mingyu, keeping a respectable distance between the two as he watched him put his belongings back in his plastic bag. he wrapped his arms around himself as he watched the taller boy. mingyu then turned around and walked into the living room, facing the younger boy with a small smile.
"hey, um... i don't want things to be awkward between us." mingyu said, playing around with the plastic bag as he gazed nervously at seungkwan.
seungkwan nodded softly, a sad frown on his face as he said, "of course, hyung."
mingyu paused, staring at seungkwan for a few moments before he said, "okay, this is going to sound insane, and you can say no–"
"what is it, hyung?" seungkwan took a step forward, giving mingyu an encouraging smile.
"can i kiss you?"
seungkwan's breath hitched, looking around nervously as he said, "i-i don't know, hyung. are you sure?"
mingyu shook his head as he said, "no, i'm not sure. i'm almost positive i will regret this, but i think i will regret it more if i don't kiss you right now."
seungkwan just stared at the older boy warily, mentally weighing his options. it probably wouldn't hurt, right? it's just a kiss. the two have always been affectionate with each other. what difference would this make?
seungkwan slowly nodded with a small smile, freezing as he watched mingyu drop his bag and march over to him. the older boy placed one hand on the small of his back and rested the other one on his cheek. mingyu looked seungkwan in the eyes, making sure seungkwan was okay with what he was going to do. seungkwan softly nodded as he gazed into mingyu's unsure eyes, placing his hand on top of the one on his cheek.
mingyu pulled seungkwan closer and slowly placed a tentative kiss on the corner of his lips. the younger boy furrowed his eyebrows in question, his shoulders tensing once mingyu finally leaned in and kissed him.
seungkwan stood there for a few seconds, unsure of what to do. he closed his eyes and relaxed as he felt mingyu begin to kiss him properly, pulling the younger boy closer as he kissed him deeper. seungkwan wrapped his arms around mingyu's shoulders as the older boy continued to guide him, his nose tickling seungkwan's cheek.
the two boys separated after a few seconds, still holding each other close. mingyu pressed his forehead against seungkwan's as he mumbled against the younger boy's lips, "yeah, i shouldn't have done that."
seungkwan giggled quietly as he bumped mingyu's nose with his own. "i told you so." he said with a cheeky grin.
mingyu chuckled as he took a few steps back, giving the boy a soft punch in the arm with a small smile. "it was worth it."
seungkwan scoffed slightly, picking up the bag the older boy dropped earlier as he said, "yeah, yeah."
mingyu grabbed the bag, a sad smile on his face as he looked at seungkwan. he walked back to the front door and put his shoes on, seungkwan trailing behind him with a sad smile of his own.
mingyu opened the door and stepped out into the hallway, turning around to look at seungkwan as he said, "still friends?"
seungkwan rolled his eyes playfully, leaning against the door frame with a soft smile as he said, "still friends."
mingyu nodded, giving the boy a short wave as he said, "i'll see you tomorrow for hyung's party."
seungkwan nodded softly, waving to the boy as he watched him walk away. seungkwan softly shut the door behind him, leaning against the door as he whispered, "what the hell?"
seungkwan frowned as he walked away, thinking about what just happened. he started to feel dread sink in as he thought about the look on mingyu's face when he indirectly said he didn't feel that way about him. a part of him wished he did, just so he would never have to see that look on mingyu's face again.
god, is this how i'm going to feel tomorrow?