After hearing the bell ring, Clara and Asmodeus stood up, me hesitantly doing the same. I didn't want to go home just yet, I really didn't. If anything I wanted to run away, I didn't want to wait till monday morning when grandpa would force me to back to the human world. I wanted to be gone before that.
Asmodeus and Clara seemed to notice me being unhappy, staring at me with slightly worried eyes. "Are you feeling sick again, Iruma-chie?" Clara asked, holding her bag. I shook my head. "No, its nothing.." I then said, grabbing my bag and walking towards the door with them. "Are you sure?" Asmodeus asked me. "If you want I'll carry you back." He then mentioned. I shook my head, there was no need for something like that.
"Don't worry, its nothing, I promise." I then said, smiling at them. I will have one more week with them, then they will be gone for forever. I'd better make sure I do everything I want to do with them before.. monday. I don't know how I can ever leave them.
Asmodeus just nodded back at me, grabbing my hand. Once we were out the door Clara waved at us. "I'll have to go straight home now." She said, seeming to be tired. I nodded and waved at her together with Asmodeus, seeing her wave back as she dissapeared.
Asmodeus then began walking me home. "Truly," He began. "are you sure you're alright, master Iruma?" He asked with consern laced deep into his eyes. I sighed. "You're too smart.." I then laughed. "I don't want to go home." I then said, not caring much about the fact that I had spilled what was going on. Asmodeus was quiet for a second before asking something.
"Did Kiriwo do something to you again?" He asked, I shook my head. "Not really, we just took blood again." I then said, sighing to myself. He nodded slightly. "Alright then. If you need anything, please just let me know!" He smiled happily, although with consern. I nodded. "I will." I said.
I won't.
Together we walked home, talking about school and what happened after Asmodeus got dragged into the office by Kalego. Turns out Clara and Asmodeus would have to make more homework for a week. With more I mean triple the amount. It was fun while it lasted, but eventually we arrived at the gates.
"Bye bye, Azz!" I waved. "Have a nice day, master Iruma! Call me if you need anything, anything at all!" He then happily shouted. I nodded, closing the gated behind me, sighing to myself. I wasn't smiling anymore, having that smile on me is exhausting. I mean, its a genuine smile, im not faking it, but it still hurts wearing one. It still feels forced.
I then slowly walked up to the door, closing my eyes for a few seconds before opening it. There Opera was waiting for me. "Welcome back, Iruma-sama." He said, grabbing my bag. I stayed quiet, nodding slightly. "Yeah.. im home." I said to myself, taking off my shoes and walking straight to my room. I didn't even look Opera in the eyes, I didn't have the heart to. Im scared that if I did I would have started crying. I don't want to be sat down at the table again.
I closed the door behind me, sighing deeply. I then ran to my bed and jumped onto it, putting my face deep into the blankets while I sighed again. "It'll be fine.." I mumbled. "I am not going back.." I then added. "I won't allow them to.." I then mumbled again, turning around to breathe.
I had no clue what to do now. None at all. The first thought I had was homework, but my homework was in the bag Opera picked up. So instead of going out of my room, I wanted to text Asmodeus. But then I remembered I didn't want to immediately bother him, because he'd only get more conserned.
Then, suddenly, Alikred came out of hiding, scaring me.
"Boo!" He said, making me jump and sit up. "Ah! Ali!!" I whined, looking up at him. "Gee, stop being so depressed, lil-iru." He said, poking at me. I whined again. "I have a good reason.." I complained. He nodded. "Oh, I know, I heard it." He then said, poking me again. "But thats no good reason to sulk." He then said, slightly pissing me off.
"Yes it is." I snapped back. "Sorry." I then added.
He just nodded. "Well, im just here to tell you that.. Im absolutely starving!!" He then yelled in my ear. "Ask your grandpa to lend me some mana!" He then loudly screamed again, making me have to clamp my hands against my ears. "Okay, okay! Later!" I then replied. "No, now!" He then cried. "Unless you want me to go rogue, I'd suggest now is the best time, plus you need to get your homework one way or another, right?" He asked me.
"How do you know about the homework?" I asked suspiciously. I mean, he shouldn't know right? I never said it out loud. "Because im not stupid, you always do your homework after school when you're stressed. Now chop chop, go ask your grandpa for mana." He said dramatically.
I slowly sat up, not believing I would actually be doing this for him. I mean, how could I say no though? And so I walked out the door, Opera only being meters appart from it, carrying what seems to be tea. "Oh, master Ir-" I walked right past him, ignoring the tea on his plate, walking to the living room. I did not want to talk. Alikred seemed to be severely unhappy with me, but decided not to comment on it.
When I saw grandpa he looked at me with warm eyes and a soft smile. "Hello, dear grandson. I heard you are doing better toda-"
"Mana." I said, pointing to my ring. "Oh, ofcourse.." He just said, seeming a bit sad. He then extended his fingers and tapped on my ring. "Seems it desperately needed mana.." He then said, smiling at me. Opera then entered the living room with an empty plate. I nodded at grandpa, going straight to my bag and taking it to me to my room. I then shut the door behind me.
"Oh, Iru-boy.." Alikred said softly. "I didn't know you were truly that hurt." He then added, floating above my papers. I ignored him too. I hated myself for ignoring all of them, it was rude and so, so stupid, but I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want to spend time with them, even if this would be the last week I'd ever be near them.
Alikred just stared, then nodded and retracted back into the ring again, seeming to want to leave me alone for just a bit. After that I just broke down, tears rolling down my face. I went to sit on the bed while I cried my face out, before curling up and crying into my hands.
Everything felt so damn wrong and I felt so guilty. They betrayed me, but yet I still couldn't hate them, not even for a few minutes. I wanted to hug them, apologize and ask why they wanted me gone. I wanted to beg to stay, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. Maybe I should have just talked to them about it, maybe that would fix it, but I couldn't. The fear that they would betray me once again, still making me go back was tight on my throat like a snake, wrapping itself around me, suffocating me.
I don't want to leave.
I don't want to go back.
Why do they want me gone?
I don't know exactly how long I cried for, but I think it must have been a solid hour. When I had finally calmed down a bit I was laying on my bed, looking at my desk. There I noticed a cup of tea standing on the desk, wich made me sit up. I felt thirsty after crying. My throat felt rough and dry, as if I had been swallowing rocks instead of sobs.
I slowly sat up, grabbing the cup in my hands. It was warm, lukewarm, as if it was holding the remaining warmth of the tea inside. I slowly drank it, feeling a little better after doing so, exept more guilty.
I shouldn't have ignored them, I should have talked to them instead. I should spend as much time with them while I still can, because after a week I won't be able to see them anymore. I sighed to myself, setting the cup back down onto the desk. Then suddenly, I heard a knock on my door.
"Master Iruma, dinner is ready." Opera said from the other side of the door. I stood up, looking at my clock. It really was late, it was already seven pm, have I really been crying for two hours? Its good I don't remember it at all.
I didn't feel like eating, but walked up to the door anyways. I felt guilty and as an apology I walked to the living room. Opera and grandpa were already sitting down. I didn't look at them, not because I didn't want to see them, but because I didn't want them to see me. My face was probably a mess, and I didn't want to make them even more conserned.
I went and sat down at my place. Opera and grandpa were sitting in front of me, staring at me. I waited, I don't know why, maybe I expected them to say something, but they didn't. And so I grabbed a plate and slowly began eating, they did the same.
When I looked at Opera after I walked in he had his ears down, and grandpa looked depressed. I wanted to look again, but didn't have the heart to. I was too afraid. Then, grandpa started talking, although very carefully. "Did anything happen?" He asked softly. I shook my head. "Not with Kiriwo." I then added, putting more food in my mouth.
"Mhm. Well thats good.." Grandpa then said, the living room falling quiet once again. After a while, grandpa tried again. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked. Pissed, I looked up at him. "Would you shut up already?!" I snapped.
I then dropped my fork, a hand held tightly over my mouth. I felt my eyes watering again, so I stood up, rushing to my room again. "Im sorry!" I then shouted, sobbing, before opening and closing the door.
Again, I was locked up in my room.
Because there's no where else I can go.
I rushed to my bed, jumping on it and sobbing loudly into my sheets. I cried so hard I could barely breathe, feeling like I had to take a breath every second. I knew I would hyperventilate if I did, so I didn't, sitting up instead and taking deep breaths. I was pretty done with crying.
I felt pathetic. I yelled at my grandpa, even though he was only being conserned about me. Right now I can't stand to look at him, but that doesn't mean I don't love him. He's my family, even if its just for another week. Same is for Opera. I don't hate them, I truly don't, not even after what they did. I just feel wronged. Maybe im selfish for feeling like this, but it hurts.
I sighed to myself, rubbing my red eyes. Then suddenly, I heard another knock at my door, it was Opera's again. "Hey, Iruma? Could you open the door?" He asked. I didn't respond for a while, reconsidering whenever I should or not. He then spoke again. "We don't have to talk if you don't want to. I just want you to eat your dinner." He then added.
I don't want to let him in.
But should I?
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Hi there sweethearts! First off, I'm sorry for last week. I thought I could write on my tablet, but its not allowed either. Kind of sad because I got it just for that. Nonetheless I'll try my hardest to find a way to stoll be able to write at school, I just don't know how.
Also, I wana know, did any of you cry? I didn't this time actually, but im almost at the 16 for the cry counter, and thats my favorite number lol.
Thank you all for reading, have a great week and stay safe! See you next week!
--20 March