"What's this I hear you put Mitchel on his back tonight?" Fremont asked around a bite of food.
Well, I wish that rumor was formatted a little differently, but it was still a positive. "Because I did."
His eyes flashed to mine.
"Then he put me on mine."
Fremont shook his head. "Wait to celebrate or meet your fate."
"It's not over till it's over." I sang his mantra with him.
"Gotta keep your eyes open."
"I know. It was a solid spar though." I said.
"Yeah, that's a nice bruise ya got there along the jaw."
"Well, he got me."
"Not a bad thing to take one from the Chief."
"He's got a matching one."
"That's my girl." He said. "Reaper said it was a pretty even spar."
"I held my own."
"He said it was pretty to watch. Like you guys matched well."
"Wish you could have seen it." I smiled.
"You'll have to rechallenge him when I'm there."
I grew silent as I moved my food around my plate. I wanted to ask Fremont some things, but I never really knew how to bring them up. It's not that Fremont made it difficult, it just felt like I brought up the past too much and the past always hurt. This was the time in our once-a-week dinner when I thought about it. I thought about bringing it up and chickening out. But the girl that just spared with the Chief didn't chicken out of tough conversations. I had to ask him.
"Did Dad tell you to take care of me?"
Fremont lifted his gaze from his plate. "No. I chose to. He asked me to watch out for you, but he never asked me to be involved this much."
"I love that you look out for me." I said. "I don't want you to think I don't."
He nodded. "You know, Wren," he paused, "I think it's important to know that people love you for you. Sure you're Jeff's daughter and we all loved Jeff, but you're quite likable yourself. You don't give yourself enough credit."
"It must be true because this is the second time I've heard something similar this week."
"Raven, she adores the shit out of you. That's you. That's not Jeff. And even though I hate to admit it, that Mason kid seems to enjoy you too. Just... do me a favor. Don't date that idiot."
I laughed. "Consider it done."
"What's got you thinking about Dad tonight?"
"I had my first psych eval today."
He nodded, understanding. "Did it go well?"
"I think so. Just brought up Dad and everything." I shrugged. "Got me thinking." I waited to ask the big question. "Isla knew about the vampires." I said. "Why didn't they tell me?"
"Isla found out when she turned sixteen. They were going to tell you, but the attack beat them to it."
"I miss them." I whispered.
"Me too, Kid." He said. "Your Dad was my best friend."
I gave him a small smile.
"But we do this," he gestured between us at the conversation, "and we keep them alive. We owe them that."
I agreed.
"Eat your damn food and quit playing with it."
I lifted a spoonful of spaghetti to my lips and took a bite that was anything but lady-like. "Can we get Chinese next week? I love Chinese food."
I was on my way back to the dorm after dinner with my hands in my pockets and my head down. The crisp air was starting to feel less refreshing and more cold, which indicated that Fall was slowly coming to an end and winter was on the horizon. I made a mental note that it was a few days shy of Halloween. Raven and I always went to town on Halloween to see all the costumes and join in on the bar hopping. It was one of our favorite things, but with favorite things come the things you don't like so much. To have Halloween, we had to be on the cusp of Winter. I hated Winter. I hated the snow and I was quite certain it had a personal vendetta against me as well. Or so it seemed.
I was close to the dorm when a whistle from the darkness drew my attention to the brick wall of the dorm building. Mitchel was there, leaning against the brick with his eyes on me. I stopped short of the porch leading up to the dorms and glanced around to find no one but us in sight.
"I thought we could chat." He confirmed my thoughts that he was there for me.
I paused and thought about my next words. "I'm really sorry." I said as I slowly closed the distance between us.
He didn't respond.
"I'm sorry about the other day and about... uh... well the kiss." I said, clearing my throat. "That was inappropriate of me." I pulled my hands from my pockets and made a gesture between them that I hoped would sell the reasons for my temporary insanity. "It was Family Day."
He nodded slowly as his eyes slid through the darkness of campus and he stayed silent for a few brief moments before his eyes returned to me. "Don't apologize."
"I was out of line."
He shrugged like it was nothing. "Then I was wrong too because I kissed you back."
I rubbed the back of my neck. "Why are you here?"
"I was wondering how your first psych eval went." He said. "They can be tough, especially your first, and I didn't want you to feel alone."
"Oh..." I paused. "Work."
"Work." He agreed, his tone was quiet and calm.
"Um," I took a deep breath, trying not to show my disappointment, "it was fine." I shook my head. "Nothing to report. I was there for only a few minutes."
"That's good. If something comes up that you're unsure about, I'm here to discuss it."
"Yeah." I nodded. "Thank you."
He watched me for a few moments.
"Can I be honest?"
"I wish you would."
"I know you have to do this," I gestured to his iciness, "for work, but I would appreciate it if you were an actual human in front of me."
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"You have emotions, which is good because then you pass your psych evals, but you face them in private, talk yourself down from whatever it was, and then you come back cold and icy." I said. "The iciness doesn't make you any more of a Chief than being human does."
He thought about my words. "You think I'm being cold to you?"
"You're cold to everyone." I said. "Except Reaper and that's probably because Reaper has learned how to be around you and how to navigate the very treacherous planes of your world. But you're cold. You're shut off and hide everything behind smoke-colored eyes and a hard exterior." I said. "I kissed you the other day and you're telling me you can stand by the fact that you came here to talk to me about my first psych eval?"
"I did." He said.
I nodded. "Fine."
"I didn't want you to feel alone, I thought that was a gesture of kindness and a good mentor."
"After a psych eval." I said.
He held his hands up like he was confused.
"But when I kissed you, I ran off because I was freaking out. You left me alone for four days. The personal battles are battles too." I thought about it. "Did you come here to see if we discussed you in my psych eval?" I asked. "To see if you get some inside info on this war between you and Hamilton?"
"Is that what you think of me? That I would use you as a pawn?"
I shrugged.
His brows raised as he tilted his head to the side. "After everything?"
"Don't gaslight me."
"I'm not." He said. "We have shared something so incredibly important. For you to think that I would use you as a pawn in my agenda against another man is alarming. I would never do that to you."
"Okay." I said. "Well, the psych eval went fine. I'm glad you stopped in to check. Have a good night."
"Wren," he said as I paused, "what's going on here?"
I stared at him. "Nothing. It's been a rough week and my emotions are all over the place. I'll be fine."
He took a step towards me. "Wren," he whispered, "talk to me."
"Why?"
"Because this is a long road ahead of us. We're going to have this connection for the rest of our lives. The mentorship locks us in together. If we can't get through this then we'll never move on from it and this," he gestured between us, "this little thing right here and now will set the tone for our relationship going forward."
"I don't want you to be cold towards me." I said. "That's all." I bit down on my lip. "Since that day, I have seen you as a form of comfort and safety. Even if you were avoiding me. I still feel safe when you are near and I feel comfortable. When you're gone I feel like I'm alone. I have Fremont, but he wasn't there that night. He didn't... he didn't live it. I don't want you to be cold to me because I feel like this," I gestured to him, "as fucked up and weird as it may be it makes me feel like I'm not alone. So when you are here and present I just ask that you're here and present."
He glanced down at the ground, around campus, and then back at me before he nodded. "I am humbled to be your peace." He said quietly. "I don't want you to feel alone when I am here. I can be more forthcoming. We went through this together."
"I'm not dumb, I know you've saved so many people in your time being Chief and I'm sure they all feel this connection with you, but-"
"It's different." He cut me off. "With them it's a thank you and moving on. I have been in and out of your life since you were sixteen. It's different."
"Thank you for understanding." I said quietly. "And thank you for checking on me."
He nodded and for a moment neither one of us said anything. I gave him a small smile and headed for the door to the dorms.
"Wren," he called me back.
I stopped just shy of the steps and lifted my eyes to his.
He glanced around to make sure no one could hear. "About the kiss..."
I shrugged with a small smile. "It's just a crush, Chief Mitchel. I'll get over it."
~*~
I stared at the computer in front of me as I read through the article on David. There was nothing that I didn't know in the article. I don't know what I was looking for exactly, but something didn't feel right. There were no clear answers as to why David was back in town. He'd gone MIA for a year and then suddenly returned just to end up murdered? Part of me wondered if he'd returned to reapply for The Chosen, but clearly if a vampire got the best of him, he wasn't ready for The Chosen after all. David was strong. I remembered watching some of his fights for tips and tricks. He was a solid role model and I knew a lot of younger boys looked up to him for advice and strategies. What happened? Why did he grow tired of the combat classes? I find it a little odd that he never told anyone he was over it until he was actually over it... at that point, it seemed late. But if you were truly feeling that way, why would you say it in a locker room with lots of ears around?
I sighed and clicked the big red 'X' at the top right-hand corner of the screen before I slid from the computer and tossed my bag over my shoulder on my way to the door. I gave the Librarian a small smile and slipped out into the cool afternoon. I found Fremont in the cafeteria and sat down at his table.
"Hey, Kid." He said.
"Hey," I watched him for a few moments, "I have a weird question."
He didn't respond.
"Do you know anything about David Beirsten?"
He paused. "I mean his dad was a Dragon. I know that. A sad loss for the community, I thought he'd have a promising future."
"Yeah me too. I'd seen him spar a few times growing up. I thought he was a tough contender."
Fremont nodded.
I bit my lip. "Does something feel off about the whole thing?"
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know. I just feel... weird when I think about it." I said quietly. "He had a promising future and then one day he's just tired of training?"
"Some people burn out, Wren. It happens."
I didn't respond as I watched him for a more few moments. "Usually the burnout is a prolonged thing. I think this was a pretty quick decision with David."
"What is this?" He asked. "What are you doing right now?"
"I don't know... nothing... I just don't feel right."
"Why?"
I paused. "I feel like something big is about to happen."
He eyed me for a long time. There was an unreadable expression on his face. It was cold and guarded like he was hiding something. Like he knew something. "Why would you think that?"
"It's not a thought, Greg, it's a feeling. I can feel it. Something isn't right here. Something big is coming and it feels like David's death is in relation."
"David was murdered by vampires. He was out of the game. Rusty."
"He's been missing for a year, why would he come back here?"
"Maybe he came to see his parents."
I shook my head. "I don't know. I think there's more."
"He was murdered by vampires, Wren. It was sad. It still is sad. That is all." He seemed tired of the conversation.
I stared at him. I couldn't shake the feeling that he was lying to me to cover something else up. I was on to something and Fremont's attempts to detour me from believing that, were only making me believe it more. What was he hiding? What did he know?
"I'm not so sure." I whispered.
He sighed. "Wren, please."
"What are you protecting?" I asked.
"Nothing. There's nothing to protect. Except you. You get these wild thoughts in your head and people start thinking you're crazy."
"Maybe I am."
"You're not, but the wild thoughts can convince them. If you give weight to these wild thoughts and hair-brain schemes, you'll find yourself living in an apartment in the next town wondering why you didn't just keep your mouth shut so you could be part of The Chosen. We are so close to getting you towards your goals. Let's not ruin that with thoughts about David and big mysterious things happening. Nothing big is happening. Everything is fine. We have training to do and we have things to focus on. We have eight months left until graduation. We are right there. Don't give Hamilton a reason to pull you from this."
I nodded slowly.
"There's nothing there, Wren. He died. He was gone for too long and he died because of it. He didn't work on himself. He didn't stay sharp. So he died. There's nothing we can do about it. It's very sad."
I knew he was hiding something and he knew that I knew he was hiding something. They were protecting something. All of them. And whatever they were protecting it was worth lying about. I hoped it was for the right reasons. Whether it was something... or someone...
I stood from the table and sighed. "Just so you know, the last time I had this gut feeling, my family was murdered."