McKenna
The worst thing about losing someone you love is the funeral. I find it so difficult to just watch them be put in the ground because they're never going to wake up. You can dream, and you can cry about, but in reality that person won't have the ability to just start breathing again. That person won't be able to walk around with you and smile. That person is gone. Jenna is gone.
Tony stood next to me with a rose in one hand and his fingers intertwined with my hand that wasn't holding a rose. I let go of his hand and wrapped my arm around his and laid my head down on his shoulder and sighed.
Tony and I were the only ones speaking at her funeral because everyone around us were either band members from other bands she loved or "friends" from school. The rest of the guys were crying to hard to even get a word out.
Vic was cuddled with Jaime and Mike was crying into his girlfriend's shoulder.
"Tony Perry, the adoptive father would like to come up and say a few words now." The pastor said and stepped down from the little makeshift podium they gave him. Which was really just a step stool. Tony stood in front it and cleared his throat.
"I don't have a lot of memories with Jenna." He started.
"Unfortunately, I can't say that I raised her and watched her take her first steps. I didn't watch her run around in a fairy costume. I've seen her at her worst, then I've seen her happy. I'm going to remember all the fun times, because I'm determined." He said forcefully and then looked at the ground.
"Her legacy doesn't deserve the bad times to be involved in it. Murder or not, she didn't deserve this fate." He whispered. He walked around and dropped the rose on the closed coffin and stood next to me and pushed me forward slightly.
I sighed, trying to will the tears not to spring out of my eyes. I was short so I had stand on the podium and look at the people here today.
"For those of you who don't know me, I'm McKenna and I adopted Jenna with Tony, my best friend. The last time I did this was for my mom." I introduced and looked down.
"When I first met Jenna, She was huddled in a corner with Tony, Mike, and Jaime screaming about a spider." There was little laughter and that only caused Mike and Jaime to wail even more.
"The second time I saw her, she was in the hospital, recovering from being hit by a car." The more I was talking the more I realized she's been through hell and back to try and be happy.
"Jenna, the little 14 year old that she is, has grown to be my best friend, adoptive daughter or not, she's changed me for the better. It wasn't until she died that I realized how much I lost." I cried.
"I have my wonderful boyfriend Vic and he's everything to me, I have my job that I'm beyond happy with, I have my friends, but there's a void in my heart where my baby was and I can't fix it." I said tears streaming down my face and suddenly I felt a hug around my leg and looked down to see a little girl, just sitting on the ground holding my leg.
"I've learned to move on though, because if she's happy where ever she is, then I'm happy too." I kissed the rose and threw it to land into her coffin perfectly and looked down at the little girl around my leg.
"No cry." She said. She had short blonde hair and the biggest blue eyes I've ever seen.
"Copeland! Oh my God! I'm so sorry!" Where did I know this guy from?
"Don't apologize it's fine." I said nonchalantly.
"I'm sorry for your loss." He said as he picked up his daughter and the pastor came over to start prayer over her grave. I always hated when people said that, because I never really knew if they were actually sorry, or the concept of someone dying made them polite. Suddenly I remembered him from warped tour.
He was Kellin Quinn, the one that was a total asshole the whole day.
"Thank you." I said regardless. He nodded and hugged me, taking me by surprise. I wrapped my arms around him slowly and hugged him back.
"Kellin!" He turned around towards the voice and smiled at the woman.
"Oh thank god, you have Copeland I couldn't find you." She said a little panicked. The woman took Copeland out of his hands and cradled her.
"Hi! I'm Katelynne, Kellin's wife." She said smiling and holding out her hand. I didn't smile back I nodded and looked at her hand before looking back up at her face.
"McKenna, Vic's girlfriend." I said and wrapped my arms around myself.
"I'm sorry about Jenna." She said giving me a look of sympathy. I noticed someone move in a shadow and focused my attention towards the person who was standing there watching the funeral take place.
"Um, it's fine, don't worry about it." I said and focused my attention.
"Kellin we have to pick up the boys." Katelynne said to her husband and smiled at me.
I started walking away towards the figure, without a wave or a word, my confusion and curiosity taking me towards the person.
"Excuse me?" I said, the person looked up. He didn't have a hint of emotion on his face and he didn't say a word. I recognized him as Josh.
"You're a real fucking scumbag you know that!? She did nothing to you, yet you found it acceptable to put her through that pain!" I started and walked towards him. I pushed his shoulders and he let me. He didn't fight back like I expected him to.
"This is all your fault! I'm never going to see her again because of your selfishness. You conceded prick! What did you think you would accomplish by killing my daughter?" The wind picked up and blew my hair around in different directions as he sighed and started to walk away.
"Is that what you do best is walk away? Just like when you left her to die." I spat. He kept walking away and I growled and turned around to see Vic standing there with his hands in his pockets almost as if he were waiting for me to finish what I was doing.
"I'm so sorry." He said, the words coming from his mouth felt just a little more special to me and I started crying on the spot and walked up to him and hugged him.
He rubbed my back and squeezed me a little. I let go and sat down under the tree crossing my legs over each other and relaxing a little.
"Are you ok?" Vic asked sitting next to me.
"I am, but she isn't." I whispered and gestured to the now buried grave, I laid my head across his lap and looked up at him.
"How do you know she's not ok?" He asked looking down at me and running his fingers through my hair.
"She's not next to me, she's not breathing." I said getting choked up. I wiped under my eyes and took a deep breath.
"Do you believe in God Kenna?" I cringed when he called me that because she called me that.
"I do." I whispered
"Then she's not gone. She's happy now, in heaven. Its her turn to tell you that you'll be ok." Vic said twirling a piece of my hair around his finger.
"You promise?" I asked looking up at him and smiling slightly.
"I promise." He whispered and leaned over kissing me softly.
"I feel a hole in my heart." I said looking at the sky through the trees. It wasn't autumn quite yet, but you could see a few scattered leaves around. "She's not here with me, I won't ever see her again."
"No matter if she's here or not she'll always be with you in your heart, your memories." Vic said putting his finger where my heart was.
"I know but I just want her back." I said sighing and closing my eyes.
"You know she could sing." I mentioned and smiled to myself.
"I wanted her to sing for you." I said the tears coming to the surface again. Vic smiled and wiped them from my cheeks.
"I would've loved to hear her." He whispered. The silence hung in the air again before he spoke.
"What do you think of when you think of us?" Vic whispered looking down at me and smiling. The question threw me off a little as I thought.
"When I first met you, you annoyed the absolute fuck out of me." I said laughing, I needed the laugh. He laughed as well and stopped twirling my hair around his finger.
"Now, I want nothing more than to have a life with you Vic, someday I wanna see little Vic's and McKenna's running around and tossing a ball around. I wanna wear a white dress and see you down at the other end of the aisle. I used to imagine that with Dylan, but you wiggled your way into my life and now I only want it to be you." I admitted staring at his brown eyes.
"Well you got it." He said smiling at me and kissing me. "Forever. I promise." He said before planting another kiss on my lips.
"I don't think I can do forever. Can we make a compromise?" I asked whining. He bit his lip laughing and looked down again.
"How does the rest our lives sound?" He asked next. I shrugged and picked at my nails.
"Maybe." He shoved my shoulder lightly and growled playfully. I sat up and looked into his eyes and smiled wide.
"I'm holding you too that promise."