TW: DEPRESSION
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Wooyoung was exausted.
He was currently laying on his couch with a throbbing headache and a terrible hangout. Last night he had gotten so drunk that Seonghwa had to drag him into his own car and drive him to his apartment. The worst part was that he could still remember crearly how his besfriend had started talking about the singer of the band that had performed and how his eyes had lit up.
He hated it.
Why couldn't Wooyoung be the reason Seonghwa's eyes shone so brightly?
They had been besfriends for five years and he had been hiding his crush on the older for four years now. Sometimes he wished Seonghwa would notice, call him out on that, maybe reject him, or maybe return his feelings, even if the last option he was sure was never going to happen.
Because Seonghwa had never seen him as more than a bestfriend.
He had never had a chance in the first place honestly.
Ever since they knew each other Seonghwa always talked to him about his crushes, or about the guys he dated, he never once saw how Wooyoung looked at him sadly whenever he would advert his gaze or how he always thought about the times they were together.
And that night he even gave his number to a complete stranger. Well, he wasn't really a stranger he guessed since he told them his name, but still, Wooyoung didn't know him.
But maybe Seonghwa was right about him needing new friends. He just didn't want to accept that fact.
He lazily dragged himself off the couch and walked to the kitchen cabinet in which he kept his medicines, taking out some painkillers and a little container. He grabbed a glass from his dishwasher and filled it with water.
He took one of the painkillers and gulped it down with a sip of water, then he stopped to look at the other little container. He hated that little with thing, full of what helped him go through his days. He hated having to rely on a pill to be able to live his life.
He had been suffering of depression for the past seven years, since his mother had passed away and he was left alone to take care of his grandfather and his little brother alone. His father had already left them when he was little, so he couldn't ask him for help, and his little brother was too young to even understand what was going on.
Bacuse of that he was always pressed down by this weight he never even asked to be resposible for. So when he was finally old enough, afer a lot of tears and sleepless nights spent thinking, he took his grandfather to a nursing home and put his brother up for adoption. He knew he shouldn't have done that, but it was what was needed for him not to go completely insane.
He brought one of the oh so hated pills to his lips and put in on the back of his tongue. He brought up his glass and took a big gulp of water as he ingested the medicinal and sighed afterwards.
His besfriend didn't know any of this.
They were close, yeah, but Wooyoung never told him about everything that had happened in his past, nor that he was depressed. He didn't want him to pity him.
He walked back to the living room, to the couch he probably collapsed on the night prior when Seonghwa had brought him home to look for his phone, before realizing that it had been in his pocket the whole time. Did he really manage to sleep with a phone in the pocket of his skinny jeans? He must have been really wasted.
He unlocked it and plugged in the charger that he always kept beside his couch, just to be sure, and he scrolled through his notification.
There were a couple of messages from Seonghwa, a few notifications of some stupid game he had downloaded a few weeks prior to kill the time, and two messages from an unknown number.
He swiped away from the screen the notifications from the game and clicked on the ones of the number.
Unknown Number
Hey, It's San from earlier.
I'm sorry your friend gave me your number without your consent, so if you don't want to reply that's absolutely fine.
I hope you have a good night.
01:18
Woo:
Hey, listen, you seem a nice guy and all but I'm really not interested. I have someone I like and the last thing I need in my life right now is some fucked up drama in which I have no control over.
He then clicked on Seonghwa's contact to read to his messages.
HwaSeong
Hey Woo, I brought you home, I'm going back to my house now if you wake up and don't remember.
01:46
Good Morning sleepy head, I'm on my way to work rn, text me when you wake up so I know you're still alive.
06:24
Yo, the owner found out that uesterday was my birthday and sent me home. I'm coming over and I'm bringing pastries from the bakery
11:36
Wooyoung looked at the time. He and Seonghwa both worked at a bakery and from there to his house were probably around twenty minutes on foot.
And then it hit him.
Seonghwa was coming over. He was probably only five minutes away since it was 11:50 and Wooyoung looked an absolute mess.
His clotes were still the same from the previous night, his hair were all over the place on his head and his make up was smudged making his eyes look like they had just received a couple of punches.
It wouldn't be the first time for the older to see him like that, but he always tried to avoid that as much as he could as he didn' like when someone saw him that voulnerable.
He quickly threw the medicines back into the cabinet, run to his room, undressed and put on a pair of grey sweats and a white t-shirt. He then rushed to the bathroom and started washing his face, his makeup coloring the water and falling back in the washbowl.
He was wiping his face with a towel when he heard his doorbell and, taking his time in putting the towel back and walking to the door, he opened it, revealing a smiling Seonghwa with a box of pastries in his hand.
"Hey Woo, you never texted back, I thought you were still asleep" He said smiling.
"I was until like ten minutes ago." Wooyoung replied smiling back at his bestfriend and scooting to the side so that he could come inside.
"Did the guy from last night text you after all? The name was San yeah?"
"Yeah, he did. But I told him I'm not interested."
The concerned look his besfriend gave him as he sat on the couch made his stomach turn. He didn't want him to look at him like that, like Wooyoung was just a little child who needed help because he just scratched his knee and didn't know what to do. Maybe that similarity was pretty accurate, because Wooyoung definitely needed help, and definitely didn't know what to do, but he didn't want to br looked at like that nonetheless.
"Woo..."
"Don't, Seonghwa. I'm not a child anymore, I can make my own decisions."
Seonghwa sighed "I know, Woo, I'm not trying to make them for you, but when was the last time you hung out with someone who wasn't me? Do you even have any other friend?"
Wooyoung turned the other way and nibbled on his lower lip. It was true. He didn't have any friend beside Seonghwa. He barely left his apartment if not to visit the other or to but groceries. Sometimes he went to that bar to get drunk and forget everything but he didn't really know if that counted as going out.
He heard Seonghwa sigh again.
"Woo I just want you to live your life as best as you can. Even if I'm your bestfriend you need to find other friends, or even someone you like."
I like you.
Wooyoung wanted to scream. Instead he put his throughly trained fake smile on and exitedly exclaimed "Let's eat the pastries! Which ones have you brought?"
And if Seonghwa realized that that was just a facade, he didn't spoke about it out loud.