A/n: Ramazan Mubarak!
Maybeeeee my updates will stop temporarily during The holy month....since I can't write spicy scenes that'll take place in some chapters...😬
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"Now that you got your reward shall we continue?" I don't wait for his answer and continue. "The pills. What's it?"
Jungkook throat moves with a gulp. His eyes are bouncing all over when they're not oggling me.
"To keep me calm."
"To keep you calm," I muse. "What happens when you don't take them?"
Another swallow, another round of agonizing silence.
"I go into high bloodlust. Lose control. Abnormal high sex drive. An annoying reflex to destroy everything around me"
I take a moment to store all the info in my mind for later.
"Y/n.." I look down. There's myriad of emotions running across his face. I'm sure he's not even aware. "You need get out." He mutters through gritted teeth.
I raise an eyebrow. "Why? Are you going to have your episode?"
"Episode," he parrots slowly. "Amusing"
"Glad you like it." I say, then add more seriously. "You don't get to hide behind your walls anymore, jungkook."
"What if I want to," he says quietly, his poker face on. "Hide behind my walls?"
I stare in his nearly black eyes, when I look at them I find nothing but hollowness. To make sure he's not lost in his head, I title his chin up. "Then you'll lose me" I reply softly.
Jungkook nostrils flares, there's a violent tug at his cuffed hands. And I take a moment to sigh, relieved that I'd the mind to immobilize him first-hand.
"Release me." he says calmly, his voice not betraying the perfect mask of indifference.
My movements are deliberate and slow as I work his zipper down and shove his pants to his hips. I feel the boner through his Calvin Klein underwear, he flinches in my touch. An abrupt sound between a growl and whimper escapes from his throat. He's unconsciously thrusting his hips, as I stare at his features contorted in pain and pleasure, eyes half lidded and blotches of red seeping to his face.
I roll down his underwear, gathering his cock between my two cupped hands. He's large, thick and looks angry with how the veins are jutting out.
I wince internally. it looks painful.
I give a nonchalant Lazy stroke, enjoying despite myself how his breath hitches and how he kicks his head back on pillow.
But never straying his eyes from me.
"The fuck you playing, princess?"
I sigh emphatically, "I imagine I told you umpteenth time already." I grip him tighter, loving having him in my hold. Jungkook hisses through his Clenched teeth "I'm done being shoved away. I want to know you, that is if you want me." I accompany my words with a trail of my fingernails on his hard cock. Jungkook shivers and a triumph smile curves my lips. "You don't get to do as you please anymore. Are you listening to me, you choose me or choose to hide behind your walls like a coward because I'm not going to stay."
There's a feral look in his eyes, jungkook looks predatorly at me like he wants to kill me. Suddenly I'm not sure if this is the right thing.
I'm not sure what's right and wrong.
"You can't get away from me. I'll never let you get away from me." Then he adds, softly as if he's afraid he'll spooke me. "You know that."
It's my turn to clench my jaw, grinding my teeth until I hear crunching under the force, only do I relax my jaw.
"I did last time. I managed to run twice." I say in defence.
A chortle runs free from his lips. "Oh, Sweetheart, my sweet girl." He shakes his head, still chuckling.
Heat burns my ears and cheeks. In a quick move, I pump his length, watching as he jumps up, growling under his breath.
Jungkook regain himself quickly, looking at me with soft calculated eyes. The way he watches me messes with my head, there's pool of lust swarming his otherwise mute eyes, and there's wetness on my thighs.
"Take me in your mouth, baby. Show me how good you can make me feel." He coos, using the words he knows that'll get him what he wants.
I'm drunk on the way he watches me, not once looking away as I lean down, taking a tentative lick from his crown where I see a bead of his pre cream leaking. Jungkook curses, his chest quickening it's up and down as his breathing turns heavy in Matter of seconds. But I'm not done, I stick my tongue out and take a long lick of him, from the base to his head.
He writhes, shaking in my hands as I come up, licking my lips.
"Baby," he's full on begging. "Please—oh"
I grip his shaft and raise on my knees to slick him with my wetness as I rub him over my folds, effortlessly ending his sentence in a thighs-clenching moan.
I've never seen him so unguarded, open. It's making me feel proud to have his control to weep in the corner. To lower his walls even an inch. It's a progress.
I let go of him, he cries out in refusal as I sit back on his thighs, carefully avoiding his erection.
"Let's get back to work," I say, a little breathless.
Jungkook glares at me with his misty eyes, a pinch between his brows.
I smile. What a better way to fuel the anger.
But as I voice out my next question, the one that been eating me from inside, my smile dissipates. "What about your family?"
Jungkook eyes glazes, as if remembering something then I watch in trance as a curtain falls over it covering whatever has passed through them.
He recovered so fast that I question if I have imagined it.
"None." he says roughly, the tone of his voice Sharper than before. He seems more on edge as I observe him.
His straight-faced mask twitches my eye.
"You've to stop lying to my face. everytime." I pause, blowing out a breath. When I talk, my voice is softer, calmer. "I can't help you like this." I implore.
Jungkook eyes flares with burning intensity I'm afraid I'll catch on fire. "You can't fix me." he bites out, each word spitting out with force that drives me speechless.
I don't see anything to be fixed.
I think.
I run my eyes thoroughly over his features. The vein pulsing in his forehead. the way his face and the tips of his ears reddens when angered. Also how he raises an inch every time I say or do something he dislikes like he wants to disengage himself from the restraints even it comes with ripping his hands and feets.
Above all I notice how his eyes bounces nervously over the room, stopping only for a second in one place before roaming. How his teeth chatters, and how every now and then a flash of vulnerability surface on his face.
I inhale through my nose, dropping a hand over his abs and leaning down until our faces are tightly closed together and he can't see anything other than me.
His breath catches in his throat, caught off guard, then his eyes latches on my heaving breasts, my nipples that turns to sharp points under his dark eyes.
"Y/n." He says, a plea and order packed in one word. Somehow I understand what he wants, and for encouragement purpose—i tell myself— I arch my back, bringing my breasts up for taking.
It doesn't take him long to clasp his mouth on my one breast, taking it deep in his mouth swirling his tongue around the budd in a way that make my toes curls and my hips Clenchs tightly either side of his body.
"Fuck," he hums. Nuzzling his nose on my breast, his hot breath pebbling my skin with goosebumps. I try to back away, very aware of how my thighs are coating with my arousal. Jungkook sense it, and groans before lapping at my other heavy breast.
Finally I do put distance—before I jump his bones—ignoring the grunt of disapproval.
"Tell me about your mom." I say out of breath.
He grunts, turning away so he's not looking at me. "I don't remember her. Much. She died before I could comprehend."
I nod. "Ok. Now tell me the truth this time."
I watch his jaw Clenches, face tightening.
Then he releases a breath.
And Tugging effortlessly on his restrains.
"What do you want me to say? That she left me when I needed her? Or... or maybe that I was so unlucky... unlovable she didn't want to stay with me?"
I take in his words, letting them sink in. I puff out a breath I was holding. Stroking a finger over his Clenched jaw.
"You're not unlovable, jungkook." He scoffs. "Can you tell me what was the cause of her death?" I ask gently.
"Car accident." He rasps, blinking twice.
I nod, tipping up my lips in a smile. Jungkook looks at me, then down at my lips for a second. "My Reward." he murmurs, not taking his eyes off my lips.
I press my mouth to his intending to make it soft. But there's nothing soft about jungkook. His tongue is licking at my seam ordering entrance and I willingly open my mouth for him.
I pull back after, my lips swollen and tingling. I have to close my eyes to remind myself why I'm here and why I'm doing it.
"Y/n.." jungkook whines in the air, a little pout on his wet mouth.
The same mouth that was on me...
I shake my head. "You're not distracting me."
"You want me" he argues. Eyes heated. "I can feel you dripping over me, love." My face burns up. "Let me take care of you." Jungkook cooes.
I bristle, clenching my fists. "No. You're not distracting me" I narrow my eyes at his self smug smile.
"Go on. I'm quite enjoying this" true to his words, his eyes drops down to my naked body straddling his in a slow caress.
I huff out a laugh, running a shaky hand through my hair. "I'm glad."
"What's next?"
My eyebrows skyrockets. "Huh?"
Jungkook flashes me sly grin seeming to getting to his self. "You're not going to ask me more? I'm kinda waiting for you to sit on my cock" as if in cue, my eyes drops to his erect-angry-looking-dick.
I scoff. "I have. You said your father beat you. Is there any specific reason why?"
Jungkook body stiffens, it's a small reaction but there's a crack on his perfect mask.
"My father hated me." He starts roughly, a nostalgia expression on his face. "But when mother died—" he stops abruptly to clear his throat. "He started to hang out with bad guys and eventually it was to the point he couldn't eat sleep or breath without being high on drugs."
He stops, and I wait patiently for him to continue but he stares blankly at something behind me.
"Aaaand?"
He looks at me, but it's like he's seeing through me. There's a barely hidden tremor in his voice when he speaks. "And then started beatings." His eyes focuses again, the cloud clearing as looks at me. "I took it because I couldn't fight him. Then I took it because it grounded me. Because it felt normal."
I frown, sputtering curses for the man who was supposed to love him and not beat him to pulp. "Why would you believe that nonsense?"
"Because mother died because of me." My eyes enlarges. Thankfully jungkook doesn't stop at that and I hold my breath careful to not make a movement. "That's what my father used to say. A part of me understood that."
My lips parts. I drop my face between my hands. God. His father was a jerk. And a very bad influence, it seems.
"And you believed him." I whisper, raising my head to see him shrug a shoulder.
"How...how could you believe something so absurd? How can it be your fault your mom died in an accident for god sake"
"It didn't matter. I was used to it all. But then..." His jaw grounds and his dull eyes blazes anew bringing them up to life.
I jerk up. "But then?"
"You came." He whispers.